


Good Vibrations

by Kat (Kat1995)



Category: Dark Angel
Genre: F/M, Rape Recovery, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 14:32:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 100,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat1995/pseuds/Kat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is set post-series and follows the lives of Max and Alec during the siege and the development of their relationship into something decidedly more than just friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Rating: NC-17. 
> 
> WARNING: Please be advised that this story does deal with issues involving rape (due to heat) in Max's past. I do not go into graphic detail about everything that happened but certain sections of this story may still be triggery for those with sensitivities to this.
> 
> Spoilers: Takes place after Freak Nation. Some situations loosely based on events in 'Before the Dawn'. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters from the TV series Dark Angel.
> 
> Note: This is slightly AU as I have decided to ignore the runes. This story was completed in July of 2012.

 

# Chapter 1

 

“Best turn yo’ skinny ass right back ‘round, fool."  OC huffed out, exasperated by Logan's arrogance at barging in on the private party being held at Crash.  "Sugar don't want nothin’ more to do wit’cha.  _Thought_ she made that clear _last_ time she saw you."  Her memory from that particular day was still vivid in her mind.

 

> _Alec had brought her in to spend some time with Max, and when they arrived at HQ to pick her up, they were just in time to see Logan grab her arm and yank her back around to face him, annoyed that she’d ignored him and kept walking away.  With a low growl, Alec materialized out of thin air beside them, easily dislodging Logan’s grip and shoving him up against the entrance wall, holding him there by his neck with his feet dangling several inches off the ground.  Appearing dazed for a moment, Max finally started tearing into him six ways from Sunday, completely pissed off, while Alec punctuated her comments with several punches and harsh words of his own._
> 
> _But then Logan spit out a particularly crass remark about her brother Seth and the situation deteriorated rapidly.  Max bypassed angry and livid, and began shaking with full-on rage, “You self-righteous, ignorant little prick!  If you won’t get out of my life voluntarily, I’ll bloody well make you!”  She only managed to take one step toward him, with both fists clenched and poised to strike, before Alec growled again in warning and blocked her with his body, lighting into Logan with a hail of blows to the head and chest._
> 
> _Stopping only reluctantly, he leaned in close and stared Logan down, his voice full of menace as he ground out, “Take the hint and leave her the fuck alone.  ‘Cause if I ever catch you stalking her or see you grab her like that again, you will regret it.”  Tossing the barely conscious man aside with a disgusted snort, he quickly slung an arm around Max’s waist as she tried again to get past him and cradled her back against his chest, pulling her away from Logan and murmuring soothingly in her ear as they left him sprawled on the ground, bloody and shaken._

 

Logan stood his ground like a bulldog, still convinced he could make Max forgive him for his involvement in Seth's death.  "Alec was behind that.  Max didn't mean any of the stuff she said.  Besides, she's been mad at me before, but she always forgets about it eventually."  _Especially when I distract her with other things, like the cure._

A goofy grin crossed his face and his eyes glazed over for a moment as he thought about the passionate reunion he had methodically planned out for the evening.  _Candlelight and soft music to set the mood, a gourmet dinner with that pre-pulse merlot I’ve been saving, the exquisite diamond solitaire engagement ring I bought her…  Oh, she’ll definitely forget about everything else but me.  And then we can try out my new silk sheets._

Turning back to Cindy, he declared dismissively, "We love each other and that’s all that matters.  Especially now that I’ve got the virus cured and we can finally be together like we were meant to be.  That was the only thing standing in our way before."

 

"Yeah, you keep tellin’ yo’self that.  But it won’t make one bit o’ difference.”  OC took a long swig of the beer she’d just received from the bartender and shook her head in disgust at his obstinacy, pointing at the couple across the room.  “Open yo' eyes an’ _look_ at her.  OC's known her boo a lot longer than you an' she ain't _never_ seen her this happy.  An' it's all ‘cause of him."

 

 

******* 9 months ago (A few days after the Jam Pony Incident) *******

 

It all started innocently enough…  

 

Alec strode into HQ at around 8:00 that night with an air of barely suppressed anticipation, glancing around the still crowded main floor for Max.  Finally spotting her hunched over a mountain of paper at a large table in the far corner with a couple of other transgenics, he started weaving his way toward her, slowing down and groaning quietly when he noticed Logan staring longingly at her as he sat nearby at one of their computers.  His good mood dissolving into thin air.

_Great.  Just what we need to be dealing with right now.  Mr. Mopey Pants, who apparently has no problem whatsoever going after another guy’s girl, if the last few days are anything to go by.  He’s so bloody infatuated with her that he can’t see he’d be better off moving on.  Nope.  Instead he has to whine to her about how he can’t leave because it’s too dangerous out there for him now.  And go on and on about how he needs to be here, so he can keep gathering information from his contacts and putting out Eyes Only broadcasts to support us.  As if he couldn’t do that from anywhere else._

_Why did Josh’s transfusion have to give him resistance to the toxins around here anyway?  We could have been rid of him already.  Instead we’re gonna be stuck having him around here indefinitely._

_It’s his own damn fault the Sector Police and White are after him.  Should have let us handle everything at Jam Pony the other day.  He could have just called my cell and given us updates on the situation outside, instead of barging in and getting caught on tape trying to help us.  Idiot had no business being in there.  Or here for that matter.  He’s only going to end up getting in our way, trying to shove his idealistic opinions down our throats every time we need to do something he doesn’t agree with._

 

_Max should’ve just told him the truth and made him leave with Sketch and OC this morning.  Told him to go up to Canada, since he likes sending everyone else up there so much.  But_ nooo _.  That would’ve been too easy.  She’s convinced that the only way to get him to back off and give up on her, is to make him believe we’re seriously an item.  Which is why she cornered me late last night and asked me to help her put on a damned dog-and-pony show for him.  Even though it’s going to really complicate things for us._

_I guess it’s partly my own fault for agreeing to go along with it initially.  But he’s gonna drive us all crazy if he stays here, constantly distracting her and everyone else from the real work that needs to be done.  I don’t think it’s even crossed his mind yet, that most of the people he’s usually so concerned about saving, are standing on the other side of that fence right now, wishing us dead.  So he can just forget it if he thinks we’re going to be running missions for him.  ‘Cause it ain’t gonna happen.  Not anymore._

_We’re gonna have enough problems of our own just trying to stay alive.  Not to mention trying to prepare for the worst-case scenario – all out war, with what seems like damn near everybody right now.  And in order for us to do that, for Max to be able to do that, he’s got to go.  And since it really doesn’t look like he’s willing to do that without some heavy-duty persuasion, I guess I’d better make sure we give him some award-winning performances._

Picking up his pace and raising his voice a bit, to make sure Max heard him coming and hopefully didn’t give the game away by jumping out of her skin, he acknowledged the other man by name with a slight wave.  

 

Without a hint of hesitation, he let his gaze obviously drift to linger fondly on Max, and made sure that Logan noticed as he smiled and drawled out, “Hey Maxie, miss me?”  Walking right up behind her, he placed his hand on the middle of her back and moulded his body around her left side, his hand leisurely gliding over to rest possessively on her right hip, feeling the instant tensing of every muscle as she prepared to react.  

 

Moving his lips right up against her ear, and looking for all the world as if he were simply nuzzling her and brushing an intimate kiss there, he whispered so only she would hear, “Take it easy.  You asked me to do this, remember?  So ease your posture a bit and lean into me or he’s never going to believe the lie you’re trying to sell him.”  He let his fingers lightly stroke over the curve of her hip, trying to get her to relax.

 

He felt her exhale shakily on a murmur of acknowledgement and slowly do as he suggested, shifting her stance to accommodate the intimate press of his body against hers.  Pulling his head back and smiling reassuringly at her as she turned slightly so she could see him, he raised his voice just enough to be overheard and asked, “So whatcha working on?”

 

She sighed softly as she fought to get with the program; trying to hide how flustered his close proximity was making her feel.  “Well, Dalton found a goldmine yesterday over at the old city planning office we sent him to check out.  He brought back a ton of official maps and blueprints for the streets, property lines, buildings, utility grids, sewer lines...  Damn near everything we could possibly want to know about this sector.  I guess they figured they wouldn’t need any of this stuff once the area went toxic.”

 

He looked at the organized chaos spread out around her, running the possibilities through his head and smiling.  “This couldn’t have come at a better time.  We’re gonna need most of this to get this place up and running properly, instead of having everything jury-rigged like it is right now.”

 

“I know.”  She pointed determinedly at the detailed property/street map on top of the pile in front of her.  “And actually, I think I’ve already found us a good location for sneaking in supplies.”  Seeing that she’d peaked his interest, she pinpointed one spot in particular.  “This building is abandoned and it’s within a mile of the south end of our perimeter.  About a block this side of Pervy Pete’s.”

 

Alec nodded thoughtfully, with a bit of a smirk at the nickname, remembering their frequent deliveries to the creepy looking guy – who had more than a bit of a porn fetish if the sources of his constant packages were anything to go by.  “Pretty non-descript area, with enough trucks running through it that a few more likely wouldn’t draw any undue attention.  So it’d be a decent location.”  He agreed.  “But what’s so special about this place?”

 

“Well, I ended up ducking inside it a while back, trying to avoid some trouble with the Russians and a couple of overzealous sector cops.  Apparently it used to be some big truck washing company or something, ‘cause there were a ton of over-sized drainage hatches in the floor.  And while we were sorting through all these today,” she indicated the heaped stacks in front of her, “I remembered that.  So I figured I’d do a bit of digging.”  

 

She pushed the map aside to expose some blueprints.  Tracing the plumbing diagrams for the main floor, she continued, “You can see the hatches right here.  And according to this, they tie directly in to the sewer main running under the building.  We’ll have to send someone over there to verify access, but if it’s true, we should be able to bring supply trucks in there and then offload everything discreetly for transport through the sewer.”  

 

“And nobody will ever know the difference.  It’s a perfect solution, even if I’m not particularly fond of traipsing around down there.”  A large, genuine grin lit up his face, the full wattage directed straight at her.  His mouth scant inches from her own and his eyes gleaming as he resumed stroking her hip for effect, feeling Logan’s irate stare trying to burn a hole through him. 

 

More than a little discomfited now, especially since there was nothing left to distract herself or him with, she slowly straightened with a groan, stiffly rolling her shoulders and arching her back in an attempt to regain some personal space.  

 

Eyeing her thoughtfully and figuring he’d gotten too close for her comfort level, he took a step back.  “Let me guess.  You’ve been poring over these all day without a break, haven’t you?”  

 

At her slightly easier nod and grateful smile directed over her shoulder, he continued, “No wonder you’re so stiff and sore.  12 hours is way too long to stay hunched over like that, even for us.  Here.”  Careful to keep at least a couple of inches of space between their bodies, he slid his hands up the middle of her back and started massaging her, gently digging his fingers into the muscles running along the length of her spine.

 

She sucked in a breath, stiffening as she figured she’d let her guard down too soon.  _Here it comes.  He’s going to try to cop a feel or something, isn’t he?_   But when a few minutes passed with no such attempt being made on his part, and his hands instead stayed trained on the center of her back, she allowed herself to relax a little.  Leaning forward slightly again, she braced her hands on the table and dropped her chin to her chest to give him better access.  

 

She soon found herself instinctively arching up into his touch, the deep-seated tension she habitually carried in her body gradually melting away until it felt like she could quite easily become a boneless puddle on the floor.  She was a bit stunned by her own reaction, but then quickly shook it off.  _I’m just putting on a show for Logan, that’s all.  There’s no need to read anything deeper into this.  Although I have to admit, Alec_ is _really good with his hands.  I can’t remember the last time I felt this loose._ _It’s incredible._

 

Alec was surprised, and not quite sure if she was acting or not, when he unexpectedly drew a low moan of pleasure from her lips, the sensual sound churning through his body and settling low in his hips.  Suddenly aware of the extremely attentive audience they’d garnered, particularly with that sound, he forced himself to remember why he’d come here in the first place.  Slowly easing off, he let his hands slide down her back and then slipped around her to lean against the table beside her.  

 

Clearing his throat, he murmured huskily, “By the way, I ran into Jet and Rick outside earlier.  Told me they got OC and Sketchy settled back in their apartments okay.  They even hung around and did some surveillance to make sure their places were clean.”

 

“Hmmm?”  She slowly lifted her head and blinked at him, her face looking a bit flushed as she pushed herself up completely and focused on his words with some effort.  “Oh.  That’s a relief.”

 

He nodded, “Yeah.  And since they were already out there anyway, I also got them to pick up the rest of our things for us.”

 

She smiled at that for a moment, relieved that she’d have something else to change into other than the emergency clothes they’d stored in TC a few weeks ago.  Then she shook her head ruefully, “Not that we really have anywhere to put any of it right now.”

 

“Actually, I managed to come up with a solution to that little problem today.”  Seeing the obvious questions swirling in her eyes, and figuring it was best if they took this conversation away from all the curious eyes and ears around them, he pushed off from the table and moved past her.  “It’s been a really long day.”  Taking her hand, he gestured with his head toward the old couch set up against the back wall.  “Come on.  Let’s grab the rest of our stuff and I’ll tell you about it on the way.”

 

Realizing what he was up to, she allowed him to steer her away without protest.  Although she was surprised when he bent over and picked both their backpacks off the floor, ignoring her outstretched hand and slinging them effortlessly over his left shoulder.

 

When he had her outside and she tried to pull free, he resisted and murmured, “You do realize we’re going to have to keep this act up in front of everyone, right?”

 

When she just looked at him out of the corner of her eye, obviously confused and a little annoyed, he sighed and continued softly.  “I think Logan would realize pretty quickly that something’s amiss, if he heard our people going on about how we only act like we’re together around him.  Not that they’d mean to gossip about us, but it would eventually get back to him and you know it.”

 

She bit her bottom lip as she thought about it and then reluctantly nodded in acknowledgement, allowing him to pull her closer when she realized that there were indeed curious eyes still watching them.  She matched his stride and continued on without further comment, staring bleakly at the ground as she began to comprehend exactly what she’d signed herself up for.

 

Smiling down at her, he quietly threw out some bait in an attempt to perk her up, “I really did manage to find a great place for you to stay by the way.  As long as you don’t mind having a roommate.”

 

She looked up as he caught her full attention again.  “Someone’s actually willing to share their place with me?  From what you've said before, and how everyone's been skirting the issue for the last few days, I was starting to get the impression no one really wants me around."

 

“That’s a bit harsh."  He looked away, unpleasant memories flashing through his brain for a moment before he shook them off and met her gaze once more.  "You’ve got to remember that we were all brainwashed to think of you and your unit as traitors.  Once everyone gets to know you better, they'll get over it.”  He shrugged.  "Besides, a lot of them have been here pretty much since Manticore went down.  So they're already settled in."

 

“Whatever.”  She allowed herself to get excited now and gripped his hand a bit tighter, impatient to regain at least an illusion of privacy again.  “So where is it?”

 

“Just over here.  Apparently, our series laid claim to this place early on and spent quite a bit of time fixing it up.  Also arranged to uh…  ‘borrow’ some power from our outlying neighbours with a few extremely creative hook-ups.  I had to call in a few favours from some of my old unit members to get them to shuffle around a bit, but I finally managed to work something out.”  He led her into a 14-storey building just over a block down the street from HQ, and then up three flights of stairs, opening the last door at the end of the hall for her with a flourish and flipping the light switches just inside.  “After you, milady.”

 

Max rolled her eyes a bit at his goofiness, but eagerly brushed past him and entered the apartment as Alec shut the door behind them, dropping their bags down on the island before moving into the living room.  The sets of strategically placed, fluorescent pot lights gradually illuminated the apartment to full advantage.  Scanning the space quickly, she noticed slightly rusty plumbing hook-ups sticking out of the wall in the shallow alcove/closet area just to the left of the door.  At some point there must have been a washer and dryer set up there, even though its only occupants now were an old bookcase, overhead storage shelf and a couple of battered duffle bags.  

 

Turning to her right, she eyed the rest of the bright, open floor plan appreciatively, no walls enclosing the kitchen, just a long black granite eating bar/island separating it from the living area.  From the look and feel of the place, and the style of the fixtures and curtains that remained, it must have been a pretty posh apartment back in the day.  A bit rundown now for sure, but nice and clean just the same.  Whoever was living here _had_ obviously made a real effort to restore it to its former glory.  

 

She grinned as she met Alec’s expectant gaze over the counter, impressed by his find.  “This is incredible.  Way better than most of the places I’ve lived before.”  Entering the long galley-style kitchen and trailing her fingertips along the cool stone, she walked past the apartment-sized fridge, sink and stove interspersed among the cabinets along the outer wall.  An opaque glass sliding door, most likely leading to the bathroom, stood closed at the end of the kitchen.  

 

Sliding it aside a bit and peeking her head in the doorway, she quickly confirmed her suspicion, and then did a rapid double take, moaning happily.  “An over-sized spa shower _and_ separate jetted soaker tub?  I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.”  Staring at the tub longingly for a minute longer, she finally pulled herself away to look over at Alec again, trying not to get her hopes up.  “But those jets can’t possibly still work, can they?  And the building probably doesn’t have hot running water either, does it?”  Her tone of voice made her questions sound more like statements.

 

When he nodded with a grin, and said, “I made sure to ask about both and they do,” she couldn’t contain the brilliant smile lighting up her entire face.  “Oh my God!”  A squeal of delight left her lips and she ran around the counter toward him, almost knocking him over as she threw herself against his side and spun him halfway around, squeezing him tight in her overwhelming excitement.  “Thank you.  Thank you.  _Thank you._   You’re amazing.  This is so much better than I ever could have imagined.”

 

And before he had a chance to really get a handle on what was happening, or how incredible it felt to have her willingly embrace him, she’d brushed her lips against his cheek in a glancing kiss and was gone, practically dancing back toward where she’d been, eager to explore the only other room left in the apartment.  

 

He was left staring after her with his mouth hanging open, bereft and completely gobsmacked; sure that he must have imagined what just happened.  A small part of him briefly wondering if she was really Max for that matter.  He collapsed back onto the stool behind him, desperately trying to gather his scattered wits.  

 

_She kissed me.  She actually kissed me!  I knew she was gonna be pretty happy about the tub.  But this???  I don’t think I’ve ever heard her make a sound like that before.  And she actually thanked me and hugged me too.  Seriously hugged me!_

_But that kiss tops it all..._   His fingers crept up to stroke the still tingling spot on his left cheek.  _Never in a million years did I expect this big of a reaction from her.  Hell must have frozen over.  Or maybe the world’s come to an end?_   But he still felt his lips curling up into a completely unguarded, heartfelt smile, feeling lighter and happier than he could ever remember being.  

Floating along on Cloud 9 and blissfully unaware of the can of worms she’d unwittingly unleashed on the man behind her, Max stepped directly through the open double sliding doors, midway down the wall from the bathroom, and found the lone bedroom.  A queen-sized bed, adorned by tall windows on either side, stood against the wall directly in front of her, with a pair of closets lining the wall on the left and a long double dresser and mirror on the wall backing onto the bathroom.  Mind still spinning at the thought of the long, hot, relaxing bath she was going to be able to take tonight, she wondered absently whether her new roommate would mind letting her use one of the closets and maybe a drawer or two.

 

Alec rapidly snapped back to alertness when he saw her start to turn around.  Not wanting to look like a complete idiot – what with the goofy grin he knew he must be sporting – he forced it from his face and tried to appear completely unaffected by her actions, sprawling back against the bar for effect.  

 

_Of course, the jig'd be up if she knew I had to practically sell my soul to get this particular apartment.  Tubs like that are a hot commodity for quite a few of our women and there’s only two of them that still work in this building.  But it was definitely worth the effort to get.  Especially if it helps her accept the rest of the deal without killing me.  ‘Cause from her reaction so far, I don’t think she’s caught on yet._

 

Coming back out into the main room, Max took a moment to glance over at the floor to ceiling windows filling the wall to her right and smiled with anticipation when she saw the one closest to her, which opened out on to a fire escape, highlighted by the sunset still illuminating the sky.  _It may not be the Needle, but this building is tall enough, I should be able to get a decent view from the roof._

With a raised eyebrow, she eyed the rather large TV and DVD player in front of her on the room’s only other wall.  _Looks like my new roommate is just as addicted to the boob tube as Alec is._ Finally noticing the blankets and pillows piled on the slightly worn black woollen fabric covering the sofa bed in front of her, she rested her hand on the back of it and looked over at Alec, now perched casually on one of the wooden stools and leaning back against the bar on his elbows.  "I take it this is mine?"

 

"No.  Actually it's mine."  A sheepish grin turned up his lips as he braced himself for her possibly explosive reaction.  "I figured you'd appreciate having the privacy of your own room."

 

"Yours…”  Surprised and slightly alarmed chocolate eyes locked on green.  " _You're_ my roommate?"

 

"Sorry, but it’s the best I could do.  Unfortunately, nobody else is really comfortable with the idea of sharing living quarters with you.  At least not yet.  And it's not like either of us can afford to be that picky right now since we’re the stragglers to this party."  

 

A wicked grin lit up his face as he arched his eyebrows at her.  "Besides, since you said you’re really serious about pushing Logan away this time, I can't think of a better way of doing it than by moving in with your 'boyfriend'.  And at least this way, we’ll have one place where neither one of us has to worry about putting on a lovey-dovey act."

 

She slowly closed her mouth around the outraged protest she’d been about to utter, dismayed to realize that his arguments made perfect sense.  This _was_ the only sensible solution.  _But how am I supposed to deal with this?  With him???_

**~~~~~ Four Months Later…**

 

Alec felt like his ass was dragging behind him by the time he finally got home that afternoon, barely dredging up the energy to nudge the door shut behind him.  Dropping his cell phone into the charging unit on the counter and sparing a quick glance around to make sure Max wasn't there, he started stripping off his clothes, tossing them haphazardly toward the huge mound threatening to collapse in the corner.  

 

_Okay._ MUST _remember to talk to her about that when she gets home tonight ‘cause I’m almost out of clean clothes and she probably is too.  One of us is gonna have to take those over to the communal laundry tomorrow and wash them whether we feel up to it or not.  I guess it really should be my turn this time since she’s done it a couple times in a row.  But I get the impression she actually prefers doing it, compared to the thought of me touching her underwear, that is._

 

Yawning heavily, he scrubbed a hand over his lightly stubbled face and staggered toward the bathroom.  _Man, I wish I'd been given some shark DNA like Max and the other night units.  I’d love to be able to function on little to no sleep for days at a time.  It sure would’ve come in handy the past few months, what with the constant running around we've been doing._

_Mind you, I wouldn’t want to give up sleeping in or lazing around in bed in the morning either, although it’s been months since I actually had a chance to properly do that.  And she doessay that it sucks being stuck wide-awake while the rest of the world is sleeping.  Gets too quiet and really lonely after a while.  So maybe I’ll give that a pass after all._

 

He stepped into the spacious shower and moaned with pleasure at the hot water that greeted him upon turning on the tap.  _I'm gonna have to get Jim, Micky, and Sledge an extra perk or two on my next supply run to thank them._ Again. _‘Cause I think quite a few of us would've gone nuts if they hadn't set this up for several of the larger living quarters when they first got here.  Bless their ingenious little hearts for 'acquiring' all those heavy-duty solar panels and boilers, and creating a rainwater capture system to keep them all filled._

_Those guys were a perfect fit to head up our tech/repair crew.  Even managed to piece together some devices to counteract White’s thermal detection units, so we can go outside the gates without worrying quite so much._

 

Bracing his hands against the tiles, he leaned into the overhead spray and tilted his head back, letting the water rain down over his face and body.  He sighed appreciatively as he received a bit of a second wind, the steamy heat relieving some of the stiffness that'd settled in his muscles, after working straight through the last 32 hours.  

 

_I wish I'd known at the start exactly how much work was gonna be involved in helping run TC.  Maybe I wouldn't have thrown my hand in so quickly to do it._   He thought about it for a second and then sighed.  _Oh, who am I kidding?  I woulda ended up doing it anyway.  I just can’t deny Max anything._   A small smirk crossed his lips at the mental picture that suddenly popped into his head.  _Especially when she gets her back up and spits fire at me, just like a kitten would, threatening to tear me apart with her claws if I don’t give in._

He shook his head in bemusement. _And wow.  I really_ must _be tired if I can seriously compare her to a helpless little kitten.  I definitely need to get some sleep before I completely lose it._

Turning around, he groaned happily as the three body jets pulsed water against his back, then leant his head back to wet his hair.  _I guess the three of us are among the best choices for running this place though, if I do say so myself._

_Mole was already well established as a point of control and had the trust and support of all the transhumans.  It’s not like anyone would’ve kicked up a fuss about him handling our defences and weapons either, what with his extensive experience in combat ops overseas.  And well, plus, he’s Mole._ Nobody’s _likely to argue with him, except for Max._

 

_And out of all of us, she’s been out the longest and understands the ordinaries the best.  She also has a couple trustworthy contacts in the Seattle PD, and an established position as spokesperson thanks to the incident at Jam Pony.  So she was a shoe-in to take on communications and negotiations._

_As for me, I’ve got the respect of the majority of the transgenics, thanks to my original alpha status and the additional specialized training I received for solo ops.  Then there’s all the rescues I helped out on before we moved in here.  I could probably command damn near every X-series here now if I absolutely had to.  Hopefully it’ll never come to that though._

 

Reaching out to the shelf beside him, he snagged some two-in-one from one of the bottles there, rubbing it into a lather between his hands before attacking his hair.  _T_ _hen there’s my extensive experience in ‘procurement’ of course._ He blew out a breath of laughter and grinned as he recalled the conversation they’d had when Max suggested – rather strongly – that he volunteer for that particular role.

_She almost choked on it when she told me I should do it, that I was best suited for the job.  But when I pretended to balk a bit, she damn near blew a gasket and got right up in my face about it.  Kept on poking me in the chest as she backed me up against a table in the middle of command, and said she’d never seen anybody wheel and deal the way I could and what with all the back alley contacts I already had from my time at Jam Pony, I had to do it._

_When I calmly agreed and then started laughing as I wrapped my arms around her, she damn near popped me one upside the head.  I could see it smouldering in her eyes when she realized I’d been teasing her.  She huffed out my name and ended up smacking me on the chest before leaning into my embrace for a minute, since everybody was watching us by that point._

_But she was right, ‘cause as it turns out, I was able to talk most of those guys into doing business with us, since they don’t really give a shit where the stuff is going so long as they get paid, and paid well.  And that mostly explains how I spend the bulk of my time now, focused on managing inventories, sweet-talking suppliers, and planning and pulling the necessary heists and supply runs to keep us going.  It seems like a never-ending battle sometimes, trying to track down reliable sources for everything we need to keep our people safe and happy._

 

_I wouldn’t be this tired though, nor would it be half as bad if that’s all I did.  Instead, I wind up pitching in with Max and Mole on a shitload of the other things that need doing around here – things that I never dreamed in a million years I’d ever get involved with._

_I mean, really, mediating and settling disputes?  Me?  I don’t recall seeing_ that _in the job description anywhere._ He shook his head, still a bit amazed that it was even necessary.  _You’d think with our higher IQs, we’d be able to sort out that kind of thing on our own.  But apparently not._   Leaning his head back again, he started rinsing out the shampoo.

_We’ve spent a ton of time organizing cleanup, salvage, and repair crews to get as many buildings up and running as possible.  Had to acquire some form of power and water for the places that hadn’t been hot-wired into external grids yet, and set up facilities for things like medical care, food prep, childcare, repair/tech, and training.  Needed to implement a training regimen for everyone too, to make sure we keep our skills sharp._

_And we also had to put together a team of stealth ops personnel to gather intelligence and perform surveillance on all the groups that are gunning for our asses.  ‘Cause between the constant protesters, the Sector Police, the National Guard, White, his Familiars cult buddies, and well, basically you name ‘em, it seems like everybody wants a piece of us._

 

_I guess I really shouldn’t complain about the workload either.  I did choose to get involved after all.  And really, it has been a lot better the last few months – ever since we got that committee in place to help handle all the crap that doesn’t fall under our own specialized areas of control.  It’s a lot less work than trying to do it all ourselves, even if we still end up overseeing everything and meeting almost every day for an hour or so to discuss current issues.  But instead of putting in around 18-hour days, it’s usually down to about 12 or 13 now, which I can live with.  Still not great, but doable._

_Although occasionally good old Murphy still has to try to screw us over.  Just like he did last night, with those damned ordinaries lobbing Molotovs at us from just outside the main gates.  ‘Cause who wouldn’t enjoy a good riot on Halloween!  Especially when the monsters and demons you’re so afraid of are right there, waiting for you to torment ‘em.  And the sector police and National Guard just stood there watching with their thumbs stuck up their asses.  Hoping we’d do something stupid so they’d have an excuse to attack._

_And while Mole and Max were tied up dealing with that, the rest of the shit had to hit the fan too.  Which left me as the only one available to deal with it, since HQ was pretty much cleared out by the time I got back from Tacoma with Rick.  First I had to take Jess’s shift on perimeter watch._ He closed his eyes and shook his head, still hard-pressed to believe something this stupid could happen at their age.

_Nothing like an unattached female going into heat to fuck up most of the male X5 population and leave us extremely shorthanded, what with everything else that was going on.  Thank God she was nowhere near command or the main gates when it happened ‘cause that would’ve been an unmitigated disaster.  Rick volunteered to fill one of the other vacant shifts, but even with that, I still had to struggle to find two more people, due to the injuries our guys took fighting over her._

_And just when I started to relax this morning and figured I’d be able to come back here and catch a few z’s, Ruben had to call me in an absolute panic over Juli and the baby.  Not that I blame him, but damn the timing!  So I ended up taking his shift too._

 

He sighed and swayed on his feet; the exhaustion he’d been stubbornly fighting off starting to plague him again.  _Better finish up in here and crawl into bed before I fall down._   Reaching beside him, he blindly grabbed for his shower gel.  Opening the bottle and raising it to squirt on his chest, he froze as he was inundated by the luscious aroma of cherries and vanilla.  

 

_Mmm.  Max.  Man I love this scent on her._ He inhaled deeply as his mind automatically flashed to one of his oft-visited fantasies of her.  

 

> _Soaking wet and skin flushed with desire, she slowly massaged the lather into her skin, hands lingering over her breasts and abdomen and dark curls…  The steamy hot water caressing her skin like a lover as it flowed over her body.  Her lower lip sucked in between her teeth, an expression of ecstasy on her face as she slid her fingers over herself intimately, her breath catching in her throat as she keened out her pleasure…_

 

Feeling his body harden accordingly, he shook his head at himself and slowly opened his eyes. _Is_ now _really the time to be starting this?  With how tired I am?  Jeez, get a grip man_.  He snorted despite himself.  _Okay, bad pun there.  But it’s not as if it takes much anymore for me to get this way either.  It’s been way too long since I saw any action other than my own hand.  And it certainly doesn’t help that it’s gotten to the point where I’m not interested in anybody other than her anyway._  

He groaned and forced himself to put her bottle away and grab his own, trying to push her out of his head as well.  _Yeah, not a hope in hell of doing that, is there?_   _She’s had my attention since day one, no matter how hard I’ve tried to fight it_.   

 

Squeezing out some soap, he started scrubbing his body, determinedly turning his thoughts away from anything provocative in an attempt to calm down.  _I still can’t believe how well we’ve been getting along lately.  Didn’t figure living together was going to go smoothly at all.  Actually, I half expected one of us to have killed the other by now with the way we used to fight._   

 

_And things were so strained around here at first; I didn’t know what to do about it.  She’d come home and have a bath, maybe eat something, and then retreat to her room and not come out for the rest of the night.  Almost as if dealing with me, and our situation all day, was a bit too much for her, but even then, I could tell there had to be more to it than that.  She’d sit on her bed, seemingly absorbed in reviewing whatever reports or plans she’d brought home, but she’d eye me warily whenever I moved, almost like she half expected me to go in there and pounce on her or something.  As if I’d_ ever _do anything like that._

_I guess she realized how ridiculous she was being too, because after a week or so, she started coming out of her shell.  Lingering in the kitchen to talk about whatever happened that day, and occasionally migrating to the stools whenever we became engrossed discussing something at length.  Until finally she just started settling in on the other end of the sofa from me._

 

_Our living together did take some getting used to though, ‘cause boy does she ever have some quirks.  She has a really weird sense of modesty.  Has no problem whatsoever with flashing skin when she’s out in public, but get her alone and suddenly she’s little miss shy.  And then there’s the rather large personal buffer zone she prefers, and the fact that she’s skittish as hell about guys touching her in anything but the most casual of ways, particularly if she’s not expecting it._

_I accidently caught her by surprise twice during the first few days of our charade, and damn near lost the boys both times.  Luckily for me, she managed to catch herself and redirect her fists, making it look like she was reaching back for my hips instead.  She finally pulled me aside after the second time though and warned me point blank that I was taking my life in my hands doing that.  Said she could only deal with me ‘manhandling’ her in front of everybody if I made sure she knew it was coming, and told me if she ever caught me trying_ anything _here, she_ would _kill me._

_So we ended up establishing a couple of ground rules to help smooth things over.  I promised that I wouldn’t sneak up on her, and that I’d keep my hands completely to myself around here.  In return, she agreed to stop using me as her personal punching bag.  Not that she really had much choice there – since the rumour mill would’ve had a field day with all the S &M implications – but the gesture was nice, just the same.  _

_And I guess she’s become accustomed to having me around constantly, because it doesn’t appear to bother her anymore when I occasionally infringe on her personal space, and she doesn’t tense up at all when I touch her now either.  Of course, it’s not as if I’ve really been pushing her by doing anything that could be considered too intimate, which probably has a lot to do with it._

_I’m still kinda surprised that we don’t fight over the bathroom, ‘cause I’ve heard horror stories from some of the other guys about that._   He shrugged.  _But then again, she never has been one to get all dolled up either, so I end up getting first dibs on the shower every morning.  And while she occasionally has one to help her perk up before going to HQ, she locks this place down every night for an hour or so when she gets home, while she takes one of her baths.  And it’s all good really, because by the time she comes out, she’s usually tons easier to handle._

 

_And we’ve worked out a system of trading for chores that seems to work pretty well too.  We take turns mostly, but there are a few things that one or the other of us either can’t stand doing or is no good at.  Like how I end up doing the majority of the cooking since she somehow manages to burn water without even trying.  But seeing as how she’s more than happy to clean up afterward, that’s fine with me._ And _it’s a lot easier on both our stomachs._

_Although I must admit she can make a mean cup of coffee, which probably helps too.  She always has one ready and waiting for me when my alarm goes off in the morning._ A bit of a self-deprecating grin crossed his face. _Apparently, I can get a bit... growly when I’m forced to wake up before I’m ready.  She says the caffeine is a huge improvement._   

_Don’t get me wrong either, ‘cause it’s not like it’s all smooth sailing between us now.  We do have the odd knockdown, drag out fight.  Well, actually, I guess that_ might _be a bit of an exaggeration.  We just end up having really intense disagreements… at extremely close range… with the occasional light smack from her thrown in for good measure.  But then it wouldn’t really be us either, if we didn’t.  And I enjoy the sparks that fly between us too much not to provoke her into one from time to time._

 

Absently realizing that he’d soaped his entire body thoroughly two or three times over already, he shook his head and started rinsing off.  _At the same time, so much has changed between us, it sometimes seems like we’re completely different people.  It still seems a bit weird when I think about it.  We’ve known each other for a pretty long time, but up until a couple months ago, we never could have seriously been considered friends.  Now though?_

 

_Most nights, I throw something together while she’s taking her bath, and then we discuss our day while we eat.  And after, well, that’s the best part of my day.  We curl up on the sofa or go sit in the ratty old lounge chairs we hauled up to the roof, and spend a couple hours together trying to unwind enough to go to sleep – or at least get a bit of rest in her case.  We usually just end up talking, about anything and everything.  Different experiences we’ve had, people we’ve known, places we’ve been or want to go, and even wishes we have for the future.  Other times we turn on the tube or put in one of the DVDs I’ve managed to score and just veg.  And it’s nice.  Really nice._

 

_And at least now – after some of the things she’s told me about her past – I have a better idea why she has some of the hang-ups she does.  I always assumed that her life outside was damned near perfect after the escape, at least compared to what I went through in Manticore.  But it wasn’t._   He shook his head in disgust as he turned off the water and stepped out, leaning back against the counter for support as he grabbed his towel to dry off.  

_She escaped from our hellhole only to immediately find a different one, what with the foster parents she hooked up with.  Depraved son of a bitch anyway.  How sick does a guy have to be to beat up and molest a kid?  Let alone his own daughter.  And yeah, while Max said she ran away before he actually tried to touch_ her _sexually, it still had a huge effect on her, constantly being beaten up and threatened, and seeing Lucy treated like that.  Especially when the mom didn’t lift a finger to try and stop it._

_It’s no wonder she chose to live in almost complete isolation for several years after that.  I wouldn’t have wanted to risk being caught up in that kind of situation again either, especially being so young and not knowing what the expected norms were for behavior out here.  It goes a long way though, toward explaining why she’s so particular about being touched and having her own space, even after all these years.  And why she’s so leery of men._

_Of course, it didn’t help that the first time she did decide to try trusting a guy on a semi-romantic level, Darren had to go and fuck it up for the rest of us by fooling around on her.  And then had the nerve to blame it on her, no less.  What a prick!_

_Although, it’s not as if I made a better impression, is it?  First there was all the fallout from my involvement with the virus and that shit with White.  Then I basically slept with every woman I met the first six months or so after I got out, trying to keep her out of my head.  Even seeing multiple girls at the same time.  No wonder she and OC were always going on about how all men are dogs.  It’s been a real uphill battle since then to improve her opinion of me._

_And now Logan’s screwed things up even more, by lying to her about Seth the entire time he’s known her.  My chances with her just keep getting better and better, don’t they?  How on earth am I ever supposed to get her to trust me enough to accept me as anything other than a friend?_

 

Wrapping the towel loosely around his waist, he sighed heavily and stumbled out toward his bed, never more grateful that he’d been in too much of a rush yesterday morning to convert it back into a sofa.  Crawling in, he moaned happily as he pulled the covers up over himself and buried his head in his favourite pillow.  Taking a quick glance at the combination clock radio/CD player on the counter and then wearily shutting his eyes, his last thought barely had time to register before he fell asleep.  _Good.  Should be able to catch at least 4 hours ‘fore she gets home..._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see Chapter 1 for disclaimer and author notes.

# Chapter 2

 

Max sighed with relief as Mole forcefully escorted a still protesting Logan from the room and shut the door behind him with a huge grin, leaving the office space she shared with him and Alec blessedly silent for a change.  Unable to face anything else, she unplugged the phone and turned off her cell, tossing it down beside it.  Sagging into her chair, she rested her elbows on top of her desk and dropped her head into her trembling hands, barely repressing the almost uncontrollable urge to cry or scream, she felt so wrung out.  

 

_God, all I wanna do is go home.  Just kick back on the couch with Alec and relax, let him talk my ears off for a while.  Never thought I’d ever see the day when I would actually_ want _to listen to him talk, but I do.  I really missed spending time with him last night._

_I still don’t know how he does it, but he can go on and on, almost effortlessly it seems – talking about everything or nothing at all in that wonderfully casual way he has – and somehow it always ends up making me feel better.  He makes all the crap, that keeps running a marathon through my head, just slip away.  At least for a little while._

_He’s such a good listener too, which surprised the hell out of me.  I still can’t believe half the things I’ve told him about, things I’ve never told anybody else before, not even OC.  But he just sits there and quietly encourages me, hears me out no matter what I have to say, and doesn’t judge me for any of it, or make me feel like I’m some sort of deviant for being the way I am.  Unlike somebody else I know.  He just gets it and makes it all seem so easy._

More anxious than ever to get home now, she checked her watch and sighed. _Damn, it’s only twenty after five.  He’s probably still sleeping.  I’d better give him a bit more time before I head out.  Although I suppose I could go and lay down with him until he’s ready to get up.  Maybe even manage to crawl in beside him without waking him if I’m careful enough.  Just lie there and listen to him breathe for a while.  Might even fall asleep myself, if I’m lucky._

 

She froze, shaken as her thoughts registered in her mind.  _What the hell!?  Lay down with him?  In his bed?  Where the fuck did that come from?  He’s just a friend.  A good friend, but still.  I don’t want to get_ that _close to him.  Do I?_

Jumping up out of her chair like it’d bitten her, she started pacing, stewing over their past and trying to figure out what could have possibly caused her thoughts to stray somewhere so potentially disturbing.  On the verge of panicking, she found herself struggling to come up with valid reasons to hold him at arm’s length, her conscience jumping in and defending him against every flimsy excuse she reconstructed almost by rote.

 

_It was completely sick, the way he was assigned to be my breeding partner._   ‘Yeah, not like that was his choice, and notice the definite lack of breeding that took place?  You’ve watched him sparring with the other guys, seen how he moves when he’s serious.  It would have been a fight, but he could’ve knocked you on your ass and raped you if he’d really wanted to.  And from the way Gem talked about it, he wouldn’t have gotten in any trouble for doing it either.  But he never laid a finger on you.  Wouldn’t have even dreamed of it.’

 

_He did help Manticore try to kill Logan.  That’s the only reason he helped me escape._   ‘He didn’t have anything to do with the actual virus though.  That was all Manticore.  And they gave him very specific orders: to help you escape, follow you and make sure you came back with Logan once he was infected.  You know how harshly they punished him after his failure on the Berrisford mission.  You really think he wanted to risk going through that again?  And he even had a perfect opportunity to kill him while you were off getting the antidote, but he didn’t do that either.  Asha said he just walked away.’

 

_Well, he ‘walked away’ too when he left me with those kids in that barn, deserted all of us, even though he knew that satellite message was likely going to get quite a few of our people killed._   ‘Maybe, but he sure came back in a hurry when he figured out you were in trouble, didn’t he?  Saved your ass.  Even stuck around to help with the satellite too.’

 

_Yeah, all right, but he definitely screwed up with White and the whole barcode thing, and he was gonna kill me for mine._   ‘No he wasn’t.  Deep down, you know he wasn’t.  You saw how scared he was.  He was desperate and completely freaked out ‘cause he knew he was going to die if he didn’t give White one more barcode.  And even though yours was the only one readily available, was the only thing that he thought could save him, he _still_ couldn’t do it.  Was willing to die himself rather than kill you, someone he barely even knew at that point.  Some cold-blooded assassin he turned out to be.  And if that doesn’t speak for his true character, I don’t know what else could.’ 

 

Max sighed, nodding absently in agreement.  _But he did cost me the cure, when the lab tech ditched after pulling that bomb out of his head._   ‘And who gave the geek permission to go ahead with that, even knowing the consequences?  Who gave him the rest of the money to pay for it?  You did.  That was _your_ choice.  You saw the look on Alec’s face when he realized saving him would mean forfeiting the cure.  He never even asked you to give that up.  You could see in his eyes that he didn’t figure you’d think he was worth it.  He didn’t think anyone would.’  

 

_Why did he even come back after I asked him to go away?  He disappeared for a while, let me think I’d actually gotten rid of him, then showed up out of nowhere and lost us that baseball.  ‘_ Which he was trying to steal in order to pay _you_ back, because he felt bad about what happened.’

_Yeah, well then he deliberately came to find a job at Jam Pony, just to piss me off._   ‘Oh really?  And you don’t think there might have been a good reason for that?  I seem to remember him saying something about finding a job where he’d have a friend, even though he tried to act all nonchalant about it and pass it off as a joke.  He’d obviously figured out how hard it was to adapt out here, what with the mistakes he’d already made, and was looking for some help.  Don’t you remember how freaked out you were after the escape?  How confusing and utterly overwhelming everything seemed?  Wouldn’t you have stuck close to one of your own, if they’d been around back then to help show you the ropes?’

 

_Okay, so that’s true too, but… … ...  He ended up wrecking the virus papers, gave them to Joshua to use in his paintings!_   ‘You really gonna go there?  Who left those papers lying around?  _You_ did.  Seems to me if they were so important, you should have taken better care of them in the first place.  He didn’t know what they were, just saw them sitting there, along with all the other miscellaneous crap in that house, and figured they were fair game.’

Her pacing slowing to a stop, Max groaned miserably, unable to come up with anything to justify spurning him outright, or the unsettling thoughts he seemed to be provoking, other than her own innate fears.  And that annoying voice of reason inside her just kept on giving her shit, continuing to make more and more points in his favour.

 

‘So he’s made some mistakes along the way.  So what?  Cut him some slack for once.  He didn’t know any better back then, and neither did you, when you first got out.  You screwed up quite a few times too in case you’ve forgotten.  It’s time for you to let go of all this shit and seriously forgive him.  Actually be his friend.  You’ve given him more than enough crap for all of it over the time you’ve known him.’  

 

‘How many times now, has he dropped whatever he was doing to lend a hand whenever you needed it?  Didn’t matter what it was for, or what else he might have been planning to do instead, didn’t even matter how bitchy you were to him, he was still more than willing to help you out.’

 

‘And you know he regards you as a friend and genuinely seems to care about you.  Just look at how considerate he’s been of you, ever since you asked him to act out this sham of a relationship for Logan’s benefit.  He didn’t have to do any of it, but he’s been playing his part expertly, while steering clear of doing anything you might find even remotely offensive, especially since you told him about Barrett.  And he’s been really good about respecting the boundaries you’ve set around the apartment too.’

 

_All right, already!  I admit it.  He’s a great guy, been nothing but nice to me whenever he’s had any kind of choice in the matter, even if he did drive me crazy with all the shit he ended up getting into.  But..._

‘But what???’  

_I don’t know!_

Max closed her eyes and sighed, starting to become more than a bit unsettled by the ‘conversation’ she was having with herself, even if it could probably be blamed on exhaustion.  And wishing, more than anything right now, that OC could be here to bounce her thoughts off of instead.  _She always helps me see things more clearly._   _But since I don’t have that luxury, I’m gonna have to try to figure out this bitch on my own.  She’d probably start by asking me some questions though._

 

‘Sounds like a plan.  Let’s give that a shot, shall we?  Do you trust Alec?’  

 

Thinking about it for a moment, she had to answer unequivocally.  _Yes.  He’s loyal and reliable, although it took me a long time to see that and accept it.  He’s really responsible too, especially now, with all the work he’s taken on around TC._

 

‘Do you consider him a friend then?’

_Now?  Absolutely.  Aside from Cindy, he’s the only person I can absolutely be myself around and I know I can tell him damn near anything without him batting an eye.  I can depend on him too; he’s always there for me, no matter what._ _His friendship is completely unconditional._

‘Good, so do you enjoy spending time with him?’  

 

_Sure.  He’s easy to be around_ _and actually reminds me of my siblings in some ways.  Of how I always felt around them.  Safe and protected.  Comfortable.  To the point where just being around him makes me feel more at ease lately.  He’s always watching out for me and doing nice things for me.  Been keeping an eye out on Logan too and acting as a buffer for me, trying to head him off at the pass whenever possible._

‘So do you like him?’

_Yeah.  He’s thoughtful, funny and playful too._ A small smile lifted her lips. _And it’s actually kinda cute, the way he hums and sings along to the softer tunes I play during my baths.  Never would’ve pictured him as a crooner, but he’s got a pretty good voice for that kind of thing.  Could’ve probably given Josh Kelley a run for his money back in the day._

‘Does he still drive you crazy?’  

 

_Occasionally.  He’s snarky – admittedly all us X5s are – and his particular brand of ADD makes me want to smack him around from time to time.  But...  I kind of like that about him too.  He’s my own personal Smart Alec.  Makes me laugh with how goofy he can get.  And I get the impression he does it deliberately sometimes, just to get a rise out of me or try to distract me.  Get me to relax after a particularly hard day._

 

‘Sounds really promising so far.  So do you want to get closer to him?’

_I don’t know.  I really don’t._ Shaking her head sadly, she chewed on her bottom lip in deep thought.  _I don’t think I’m ready to consider anything like that.  Thought I was with Logan and look at how that turned out.  Would’ve been the biggest mistake I ever made.  And I don’t want to risk doing that again._

‘Okay, well, do you find him attractive?’  

 

_Oh God!  What the hell kind of question is that?!?_

 

‘An important one, if you ever want to get to the bottom of things.  So answer already.’  

 

_I...  He...  Well, we were all made to be attractive.  But I suppose, when you get right down to it, he is pretty good looking.  If you’re into freckles and sexy grins… nicely toned arms... and really tight washboard abs...  ...  Not that I am!_

 

‘In denial much?’  Her inner self snorted before continuing dryly.  ‘Whatever.  Since you’re obviously not comfortable with the prospect of anything else at the moment, let’s just say he’s a really close friend that makes you feel good.  There’s no law that says friends can’t hug or snuggle up to each other for comfort, you know.  You wouldn’t even think twice about doing that with OC if she were available.  And you did it whenever you could with your siblings too.’  

 

_Yeah...  I guess..._

 

‘So leave it at that for now.  Take it one step at a time and see where it goes.  But whatever you do, just don’t shut him out.  Okay?  ‘Cause frankly, I think he’s the best thing to ever happen to you, and you’ll never figure anything out if you push him away.  And really, if you want to be completely honest with yourself?  You’re gonna have to admit pretty soon that he’s important to you and you need him in your life.  Look at how strung out you’ve been since yesterday, when he left you here to go on that heist with Rick.’

Sighing again, Max slowly moved back over to her chair and collapsed in it, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling.  _Maybe.  But I really wanted to go with him.  Needed to get out of here for a while and blow off some steam.  I would’ve had a blast pulling that museum job with him, just the two of us, working together like old times, ‘cept better now that we actually get along._

_I should’ve just gone with him instead of letting him talk me out of it._   _I’ve never been too tired to go on a heist before.  Never._ Thinking about it further, and trying to discount her own personal feelings on the matter, she finally had to shake her head. _Except he was right.  I was too tired.  Way too tired.  Still am._

 

_He tried so hard too, to convince me to let him walk me home before he left.  Told me I should go and have a nice hot bath and just crawl into bed.  Enjoy the peace and quiet since he probably wouldn’t be back until around midnight.  But I couldn’t face going back there alone.  It would’ve been way too quiet without him, and the worry parade would’ve just overrun my brain like usual lately, making it impossible to sleep anyway._

 

She groaned, reaching up and gently probing the gauze bandage over the gash on her left temple when it started throbbing again.  Pulling her hand away and noticing the fresh blood on her fingers, she grimaced.  _Shit, what am I gonna do?  I’ve got to get some sleep soon.  I’m way beyond tired if my healing abilities are starting to fail._ Sighing again, her thoughts wandered to how she’d gotten hurt in the first place and all the other shit that had happened over the past 24 hours.

 

_I ended up staying put and working quietly here with Mole, trying to research new government contacts and potential heists.  But then everything went to shit just after 9:00, when the rioters started showing up.  I’d completely forgotten it was Halloween, until Dix shouted, saying he needed us at the security cam station right away._

_Mole and I didn’t even have to discuss anything.  Took one look at the growing swarms outside, and both grabbed for phones so we could start calling more of our people out to patrol the fence line.  Dix sent out a couple of 8s as runners too, gathering up as many able bodies as they could find._

_‘Cause boy, were the ordinaries ever having a party out there.  Almost like they’d cleared out all the bars or something to come hang here.  Everybody dressed up in costumes, boozing it up while stumbling around and yelling obscenities at us.  It was an absolute blast too, laughing at how stupid they were all being, until a couple of the jackasses got the bright idea to start making Molotov cocktails.  ‘Cause once they started tossing them over the fence, everybody else joined in.  And with all the alcohol they had on them?_

 

_What a madhouse!  I’m just glad we’d already increased the patrols as a precaution, ‘cause we ended up needing all the extra bodies.  Between trying to douse all the fires before they got out of hand, keeping a rein on everybody’s tempers and trigger fingers, and treating the shitload of cuts and burns we were all taking, we had our hands full._

_Thankfully, only one of us got seriously injured – a desert style transhuman, Sandy I think – since she was trapped in the building that ended up burning down.  By the time we managed to clear a path through the flames for her, she’d already taken second-degree burns to her arms and legs.  Medics said she should hopefully be okay though._

_I kept trying to call the cops and the National Guard whenever I got a chance, trying to get somebody to step in and break things up.  Didn’t really care whom at that point.  But no such luck.  Amazingly enough, not a single authority figure was available to talk to me._ She snorted acerbically.  _Real convenient that._

_Of course, that’s how I ended up getting hurt too.  I was so distracted giving one of the cops shit, that I didn’t notice that bottle flying at me until it was almost too late.  It ended up hitting the wall beside me when I ducked, but I still caught a two-inch shard of glass above my left eye.  Felt like an absolute idiot too, for not keeping my head in the game._

 

_And by the time we finally managed to get the last fire put out and the ordinaries finished dispersing, it was after four, and Mole looked like he was about done in.  So I told him to take off and get some sleep, that I’d hold the fort at HQ until he came back.  And Dix was the only one left here when I got back, so he ended up filling me in on the rest of the night’s festivities that Alec ended up handling._

 

_Surprisingly enough, I actually managed to find time to grab a quick break, just long enough to clean up a bit and make a huge pot of coffee, before the media calls and complaints started rolling in at around 5:30.  And I’ve been on the friggin’ phone damn near ever since.  Getting an absolute shitload of crap heaped on top of me.  And making absolutely no progress whatsoever with anyone I talked to.  As per usual._

_Then Logan had to barge in here and make a total ass of himself.  Again.  Nothing new really, but I’m beginning to think he has a death wish.  I swear to God I’m gonna kick his ass pretty soon, if he keeps on following me around and pestering me non-stop.  Why can’t he get it through his thick skull that we’re through and leave me the hell alone?_

 

_And when did he become such an overbearing, patronizing jerk?  Or has he always been that way and I just never noticed?  God, I hope not, ‘cause that really doesn’t say much about me._ She growled, frustrated. _Hell.  Forget it.  He’s not worth it and if I keep thinking about it, he’s just gonna end up pissing me off even more._

Taking a glance at her watch, she almost shouted with relief. _Yes!  Ten after six.  Alec’s gotta be up by now._ Jumping up, she quickly plugged the phone back in, grabbed and turned on her cell, and scooped her leather jacket up off the back of Alec’s chair as she went by.  Pausing for a moment when her desk phone started to ring almost immediately, she shook her head.  _No, no more tonight.  Whoever it is, they can wait until tomorrow to yell at me._

 

Walking eagerly out of the room and down the stairs, she waved goodnight to a still grinning Mole and headed for the door, groaning as her cell phone started ringing.

 

...

 

"Ugh!  I don’t think I’ve ever had a shittier day!”  Max slammed the door and blindly threw her jacket behind her toward the far end of the living room, so upset she didn’t notice it skim across the end of the open sofa bed, barely missing the man sprawled out across it.  “The nerve of that man!”

 

Startled, Alec jackknifed into a sitting position searching for the potential threat that had awakened him and – once he saw it was only Max – rubbed the sleep from his eyes, glancing blearily at the alarm clock.  _6:30._ _Only_ _two hours.  It figures._ Blinking a few times, he slowly tuned in to her rapidly escalating rant.

 

“I can't believe he still thinks I’m gonna forgive him!  That we’re gonna get back together even though I’m supposedly with you now.”  Glaring at the cell phone clenched in her hand, she barely restrained herself from slamming it down into the charger.

 

_Logan again.  Of course.  At least any bitching she does lately is about what an ass_ he’s _being._

 

He looked longingly behind him at his pillow, calculating the ire he'd raise if he buried his head back in it and ignored her, then shook his head resignedly as he turned back to face her, bracing his forearms on his upraised knees.  _I don’t want to piss her off if I don’t have to, not when we’ve been getting along so well.  And she obviously needs to get whatever this is off her chest before she spontaneously combusts.  Been stressing out way too much lately._

 

“And even if that weren’t the case, how can he possibly believe everything can go back to the way it used to be now that I know what happened with Seth!"  Her back still to the room, she kicked her shoes off angrily, one of them rebounding off the bookcase with a loud thwack and toppling the laundry pile as she turned into the kitchen on her way to her room.  

 

Starting to pull her smoky hoodie up over her body as she walked and exposing a loose red tank top underneath, Max lost track of everything else as she belatedly noticed where Alec was and how exhausted he looked.  Miles of absolutely sinful bare flesh and tousled bed head more than enough to derail her rant, she halted mid-stomp and gaped across the counter at him, her arms trapped in the material by her neck.  

 

Completely befuddled, she finally pulled herself together enough to ask, “Why are you still in bed?  I thought for sure you’d be up by now, even after last night’s insanity.  Didn’t you sleep all day?”

 

Alec stretched stiffly as he answered, “That was the plan.  But I guess all the excitement didn’t sit well with Juli and the baby.  She ended up going into premature labour at around 7:30 this morning.  Ruben was an absolute wreck when he called me just before shift change, so I told him to take her over to medical and I’d fill his shift.”  

 

“ _16_ hours watch, on top of the supply run and B&E you pulled yesterday?”  She absently finished taking off her sweatshirt and tossed it back toward the alcove, struggling to keep her gaze on his face, feeling heat rising in her cheeks as her traitorous eyes kept straying lower.  

 

He nodded and shrugged as if to say no big deal.  Barely repressing a yawn, he scrubbed the palms of both hands over the light stubble adorning his face and then ran them back through his hair as he glanced over at her.  “I just got back a couple hours ago.  Took a shower and immediately crashed I was so wiped.”

 

“I’m not surprised.  Sorry for waking you.  I didn’t realize…”  Max trailed off reluctantly, still visibly agitated, but not really wanting to bother him or keep him up when he was so tired either.  She sighed and forced herself to look away from him as she tried to figure out what to do.  Her eyes snagging on the strewn laundry, she headed back toward the alcove, shoulders drooping miserably at the thought of leaving her refuge again so soon.  

 

The very idea of postponing the eagerly anticipated relief she’d been expecting, on top of all the frustration and disappointment she’d been carrying around all day, made it feel as if the weight of the world was crashing down on her.  Shoving the laundry aside with her feet, she resignedly reached up to the shelf above her and started dragging down their duffle bags.  “I’ll go take care of this mess.  That way you’ll be able to get at least a few more hours in.”

 

“Nah.  Don’t worry about it, Max.  It’s okay.  I’ll just go to bed earlier tonight instead.”  He replied, more than appeased by the consideration she was trying to show him.  Especially since she’d been pushing her limits even farther than he had, and actually appeared much more frazzled and worn out than she had yesterday afternoon, when he’d checked in with her before heading out on the B&E.  He frowned, concerned now, and examined her a bit more closely.

 

Suddenly noticing her slight blush and averted eyes, he became aware of his own nudity and the covers bunched up around his feet.  “Whoops.  Sorry.”  He reached down and grabbed hold of the sheet and his thick fleece blanket, pulling both up past his waist and giving her an apologetic smile when she briefly glanced back over at him.  Eyeing her profile carefully, he asked, “So why are you back so early?  You’re usually not ready to come home until at least 8:30.”

 

She sighed again and dropped the bags on the floor, crouching down and beginning to indiscriminately toss handfuls of clothes inside the closest one.  “Yeah, well my day didn’t go exactly as planned either.  I didn’t even bother coming home after last night.  Wasn’t any point since I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway.  And I figured you’d be crashed out, so I didn’t want to risk keeping you up too, since you need your sleep a lot more than I do.”  

 

“Instead I spent most of the morning fielding calls.  Emailed some pictures and tried to tell everyone our side of the story.  Fat lot of good that did though!  I still wound up listening to them rant about what ‘horrific freaks of nature’ we are and how we don’t deserve to be out among the ‘decent god-fearing people of Seattle’.  Because apparently, _we_ like to hurt and maim people.  Since, ‘Oh no!  Stop the presses.’  A few of the rioters got injured last night.”  

 

She snorted.  “Poor babies!  I’m just _so_ choked up about it too.  So they received a couple minor burns from all the flaming bottles they were throwing at us.  Boo hoo!  Big fucking deal.  But I couldn’t say that, now could I?!  The media would’ve had a field day.”  Shaking her head angrily, she crumpled up the dish towel currently in her hand and shoved it in the bag too.

 

“ _Then_ I got to spend over an hour chatting with the police commissioner, trying to smooth _his_ ruffled feathers.  Because evidently, it’s _our_ fault those guys were out there rioting in the first place.”  Her tone turned decidedly bitter as she emphasized his comments with her voice.  “According to him, we were _inciting them_ _with our presence_ and therefore _they can’t be held accountable_ for their actions.  Even though _they’re_ the ones that seriously injured one of our people _and_ burned down one of our sentry buildings, while _we_ took absolutely no action against them.”  

 

She huffed out her breath in disgust as she stuffed a few more of Alec’s t-shirts inside the almost overflowing bag and then forced the zipper closed.  “Assholes.”  

 

Yanking the other bag closer, she started filling it too, becoming more and more forceful with her movements as her agitation increased.  “And then, because I’m _such_ a glutton for punishment, I spent the rest of my day on the negotiation bandwagon, getting the run-around from several White House officials, the Deputy Director of Citizenship and Immigration, and the executive assistant for our new State Governor Gwen Adams, since she was tied up in meetings all afternoon.  And every single _frickin’_ time, just as I began to think I might _actually_ be making some sort of progress, they’d either cut me off or transfer my call somewhere else and I’d have to start all over again.”

 

She growled shakily, barely holding on to her rapidly fraying composure.  “I finally gave up, I was so pissed off.  Would’ve ended up doing more damage than good if I’d tried to talk to anybody else at that point.”

 

“And just to top it all off, Logan snuck into HQ during the last shift change – despite the fact we banned him – and planted himself in the doorway to our office, refusing to leave until he talked to me.  The jerk deliberately wore a short-sleeved shirt and blocked me in there, so I couldn’t get by without touching him.  Then kept going on and on about what _wonderful_ news he had and how I just _had_ to hear it, ‘cause it would make me forget all about the little _mix-up_ between us and clear up all the _confusion_ I’d obviously been experiencing lately.”  

 

She laughed, borderline hysterically, “Little mix-up!  Yeah, as if.  I finally agreed to talk to him just to get him out of my hair and hopefully find a little peace.  As if I was able to do any good with that either!”  

 

Shoving the last article of clothing into the bag, she started struggling with the zipper, cursing raggedly when it broke.  “Damn it all to hell!”

 

“Max.”  

 

When she quickly looked over at the intensity of his tone, appearing to be on the verge of a complete meltdown with her eyes wide and shiny and bottom lip trembling, Alec continued much more softly, “Just leave the laundry, okay?  It can wait until tomorrow.”  Lying back down and making sure he was adequately covered, he patted the other half of the bed invitingly _._ "Come over here and talk to me.  Please?"

 

Closing her eyes and chewing on her bottom lip for a moment in indecision, she finally stood and turned her back to him.  “Just a sec.  I want to grab a drink first.”  With very deliberate precision, she opened the fridge, pulled out the milk and filled a glass, then put the jug back, taking deep breaths the whole time in an attempt to calm down.  Rubbing her eyes with one hand while she drank with the other, she tried to ease the burning ache residing behind them.  

 

More than aware of why she was stalling, Alec continued to watch her closely, realizing now, from the common thread in her remarks, what the main source of her distress likely was.  And when he saw the slight trembling in her shoulders gradually ease, and she seemed to regain some measure of control, he let out a quiet sigh of relief that he probably wouldn’t have to cope with tears.   _I just can’t stand to see her cry.  It’s only happened a couple of times, and only ever over her siblings and Lucy, but that’s still more than enough._

 

After rinsing out her glass, she turned around and slowly headed around the island toward him, clearing her throat before she started speaking again.  "So anyway, Logan was all excited and over the moon because he thinks he _might_ have found an ex-Manticore scientist who can cure the virus.  Like I even care anymore!"  She rolled her eyes and blew out her breath with an exaggerated sigh.  

 

Reaching the bed, she flopped down on her back beside him, staring blindly up at the ceiling as her hands waved in the air punctuating her words and unleashing some of her pent up frustration.  "He honestly expects me to fly down to South America, find this guy, and drag him back up here out of hiding so he can work on a cure.”  

 

Alec rolled over on his side to face her and braced his head up on one hand as she spoke, his eyes caressing her face, taking in the signs of strain and fatigue that had become more and more pronounced over the last few weeks.  His gaze locking on the bandage over her left eye and tightening with worry as he noticed the bright red fluid slowly seeping through it.  _That had to have happened last night, so there’s no way it should still be bleeding._ Forcefully pushing his concern aside, at least temporarily, he concentrated on her words.  

 

“He actually had the nerve to _demand_ that I drop everything for a month or more and go trekking through the _frickin’ Amazon jungle_ looking for this guy, who may or may not even be there!  Said I owed it to ‘us’ to try.”  She snorted incredulously.  “Like there’s even an us anymore and as if I don’t have _anything_ better to do with my time!”  

“I finally lost it when he kept going on and on about it, and yelled for Mole to come and kick him out.  Think I made his day actually.  He was practically giddy when I asked him to have Logan placed under house arrest for the rest of the week.  But I couldn’t think of anything else to do, I just can’t deal with him on top of everything else right now.  And then that didn’t even work, ‘cause he called me on my cell as I was on my way home, and started in on me again.  Had to hang up and get the guys to cut off his phone and satellite connections for a while too.”  

 

_He certainly isn’t making her life any easier.  Been harassing her almost constantly over the past two months with his feeble attempts to get her back.  If it weren’t for the fact that White put a massive reward out for his capture as Eyes Only, I would’ve kicked him out of here a long time ago.  As is, I’ve had to start walking Max to and from HQ every day, ‘cause he won’t leave her alone otherwise._

 

“I mean, what the hell is wrong with him, anyway?”  She growled, still obviously upset.  “Is he insane?”

 

"No.  Just obsessed.”  Alec sighed and dropped his head back down on to his pillow.  “Because he loves you _._  Or at least he thinks he does, in his own misguided way.  But he's got his head buried so far up his own ass that he can't see how much he's hurt you.  Or how much you’ve got on your own plate to deal with right now."  

 

Instinctively, he reached out and captured her closest hand, drawing it down in front of him and meshing his fingers with hers in an attempt to calm her down.  "I honestly don't know how he expects you to trust him again after deliberately keeping the truth about Seth from you for so long." 

 

Surprised by his actions, she turned her head to stare at him, her weary eyes searching his face as the serene even timbre of his voice wrapped around her like a blanket.

 

Abruptly realizing what he’d done, Alec met her gaze quickly, relieved to see that she didn’t appear to be upset by his blatant disregard for their ground rules.  Instead, she seemed to be more curious about his intent than anything else.  Relaxing, he looked back down at their joined hands and began lightly caressing her fingers, massaging each one before moving down and circling the sensitive flesh of her palm with the tips of his fingers and pad of his thumb, carefully pressing into the tight muscle between her thumb and forefinger to ease some of her tension.  

 

For the first time since they’d become embroiled in this mess, Max found herself on the receiving end of his focused attention and touch with an abysmal lack of anything else to concentrate on.  So she was amazed to discover how soft and warm his skin actually felt against hers, his touch so gentle and soothing, and so completely without pretence, that she found herself praying he’d continue the impromptu massage.

 

After several minutes, he looked up and finally spoke again, his voice slightly deeper than usual as he kept stroking her hand.  “You're going to have to seriously confront him to get him to stop this crap, you know.  Ignoring him and just telling him to leave you alone obviously isn't enough to do the job."

 

Sighing, Max slowly rolled to face him completely.  "I know, but I don’t think I can.  He keeps on trying to downplay his own involvement, and brush aside Seth’s death like it means nothing.  And every time he does, I get so mad I want to beat the crap out of him.  I came way too close to slapping him earlier.  Really scared myself."

 

She felt exposed.  Utterly vulnerable to his penetrating gaze.  "I'm really afraid I'll kill him Alec.  All it’d take is one unguarded touch.  Just one screw up in the heat of anger.  And while I do hate him for what he's done, I don't wish him dead."

 

"I could go talk to him if you like.  Put the fear of transgenic wrath into him without actually killing him."  He smiled eagerly, deliberately infusing a light note into his voice to try to put her more at ease.  "Please?  Can I?  Huh?  Please???"  

 

She laughed softly, unable to help herself, and lightly smacked at his chest with the back of her free hand.  "Nice try, smart ass.  But somehow, I don't think that would do me any good.  He wouldn't believe it was coming from me."

 

"Well, why don’t we do it together then?”  Releasing her hand, he reached for the other, pulling it toward him to pamper it with the same treatment.  “That way I’ll be there to step in if things start to get out of hand.  And it’ll look better anyway if we present a united front.  After all, even though he refuses to properly acknowledge it, I _am_ supposed to be your boyfriend."  

 

That pulled a soft grin from her lips to answer his own.  "Thanks.  It's worth a try I suppose."  She yawned, her thoughts returning again to the main problem that had been plaguing her for weeks.

 

"I just wish something would go right for a change.  I’ve been working my ass off, but no matter how hard I try, I’m still getting absolutely nowhere.  I just keep beating my head against a wall and wasting everybody’s time.  ‘Cause it seems like nobody is willing to take us seriously and actually talk to me.  I feel like such a failure.”  She sighed sadly and closed her eyes.  

 

“You’re not a failure Max.”  She just shrugged, with an obvious ‘Whatever’ look on her face, and he spoke a bit more insistently, “Hey.  Look at me.”  

 

When she reluctantly met his gaze, he continued, “You know, the main reason you’re taking this so hard and it seems so hopeless right now, is because you’re so tired.  I mean, what’s it been?  Over three weeks since you’ve gotten any decent sleep?" 

 

She thought about it, then nodded a bit defensively.  “Sounds about right.  And honestly, I have been trying to get some Alec, really, I have.  But it’s getting to the point where every time I close my eyes and try to sleep, or even just relax, all I do is worry.  About everything.  I can’t make my brain shut down anymore.”

 

Alec shook his head at her, even more concerned now.  “Yeah, well you’re gonna have to try harder.  You can’t keep this up indefinitely."  He lifted one hand up to brush gently over the bandage on her temple.  “I think this more than attests to that fact.”  

 

When she started to look away again, he growled at her and squeezed her hand, instantly regaining her attention.  “No, Max.  I’m serious here.  You keep this up and you’re going to collapse or drive yourself straight into the ground.  And then where will we be, huh?”

 

“But…”  She tried to argue, but he cut her off immediately.

 

“No.  No buts.  You’ve let yourself get too worn down and it’s making it really hard for you to see the big picture.  You’re doing a _hell_ of a good job and everyone else around here knows that.  They can see how hard you’ve been working.  And it’s not as if any of us expected overnight success by any stretch of the imagination, 'cause we knew how hard it was going to be to find someone willing to help us.”

 

“It’s just like finding a needle in a haystack.  And you’ve been relentlessly digging though that stack, weeding it down so it keeps getting smaller and smaller.  It’s only a matter of time until you find the person we need.”  

 

She stared at him, amazed by his overwhelming faith in her, “You really believe that?”

 

He held her gaze.  “I do.  It _is_ going to happen, Max.  You just have to be patient.”

 

“Maybe, but I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”  She yawned again and pulled her hand away from his to rub the tight area between her eyes, moaning quietly.  “Something’s got to give, and soon.  I spend every single day getting ignored or insulted by the people I try to call and everybody that calls here is constantly bitching at me.  And I’ve about had it.  How the hell am I ever supposed to solve _anything_ at this rate?  I'm just so tired Alec.  Of all of this shit.”  

 

“I know you are.  I am too.”  He frowned for a moment, torn.  He wanted to help her, but the best method he could think of to accomplish that would involve getting closer and touching her.  A lot.  And much more familiarly than she would likely appreciate, especially given his current lack of clothing – a situation that had the potential to escalate into World War 3 if he didn’t handle it right. 

 

_Oh screw it.  She really needs to sleep.  And she has been pretty receptive to almost everything else I’ve said and done lately._ Taking a deep breath, he offered quietly, “I think I can help you relax enough to get to sleep.  Will you let me try?”  

 

When she immediately raised her hand from her face and looked at him a bit uncertainly, he added, “Just offering a massage, and some incidental skin on skin contact, 'cause it’s pretty hard to give a proper massage through clothes.  But I swear, I’m _not_ going to perv on you or ask you to take anything off either.”

 

She stared at him for a moment as she thought about it, and the conclusions she’d drawn in their office earlier, and then nodded slowly, “Okay.”

 

Somewhat surprised that she’d agreed so easily, Alec quickly looked around at the space they had and their positions, and took his own fatigue into account, before asking, “Since I’m still pretty tired and am probably going to have to keep laying down to do this for any length of time, would you mind moving down and coming a little closer?  That way I’ll be able to reach around you and get both sides of your back easier.”  

 

Complying a bit stiffly, Max scooted down and in several inches, staring indecisively at his bare chest and abs for a very brief moment before edging in a touch more and tentatively bracing her forearms and hands against him to keep some distance between the rest of their bodies.  

 

“That’ll work fine.”  Careful to keep his movements as laid-back and low-key as possible, Alec tucked her hair out of his way and then slid his arms loosely around her.  Lightly pressing his hands along the length of her back, he began mapping out the tightest areas by feel, becoming more and more shocked as he rapidly detected a veritable minefield of knots and amassed tension.  

 

_Shit.  Why didn’t I notice this before?  Unless this is all from the last couple days?  I guess it could be considering how messed up everything’s been...  But man, no wonder she hasn’t been able to relax or sleep.  I’m surprised she hasn’t been walking around like a hunchback lately with how badly this has got to be constricting her movement.  I’ve got to get her to relax some before I get started or I’ll just end up hurting her._ He thought about it a moment. _Well, when all else fails, humour and blathering on like an idiot usually work wonders in distracting her..._

 

He smiled down at her, adding a mischievous spin to his voice as he switched over to a gentle stroking motion over the whole of her back.  “You know, normally, I think they recommend you put on some new age hippy crap to listen to during this sort of thing, since it’s supposed to keep you from thinking about other stuff while someone is working on you.  But since neither one of us has any of that shit, and would probably prefer to be boiled in oil or devoured by ants than listen to it even if we did, I’ve got a slightly different idea.”

 

_Boiled in oil or devoured by ants???  Did I hear him right?_   Max just stared up at him and blinked several times.  Finally tilting her head and looking at him sideways, as if she thought he might be a bit touched in the head, she muttered, “Oookay.” 

 

He pretended to take offence.  “Hey now.  Don’t look at me like that.  I’m just trying to think of you here.  So your mission tonight, should you choose to accept it,” he quirked an eyebrow at her as he mocked one of the movies they’d watched last week, and then lowered his voice conspiratorially, “and I really think you should, since well, I am the boss around here after all.”

 

“Not bloody likely.”  She snorted at that.

 

He sighed and shook his head mock-sadly, “The lack of respect I receive from you is absolutely pitiful, you know that, right?  Aren’t underlings supposed to be all ‘Yes, master, whatever you say, master’?”  He deliberately spoke the last bit in an Igor-like voice.

 

“Yeah, you just keep on dreaming there, Pretty Boy.”  The corners of her mouth twitched up in a hint of a smile, as she realized what he was attempting to do.  Drawing in a deep breath, she slowly blew it out, trying to expel some of her pent up anxiety with it. 

 

“Now why would I have to dream about that?”  He blinked his eyes at her innocently, inwardly pleased as he watched her efforts.

 

When she raised a fist and pretended to threaten him with it, he continued with an overly dramatic eye roll and sigh, “All right, _fine_.  I guess I can _let_ you be the boss, since you asked _so_ nicely.”

 

Alec!”  She spluttered out a laugh at that and arched an eyebrow at him.  “Thanks for the comic relief and all, but aren’t you supposed to be giving me a massage here?”

 

“Yeah, okay.”  He laughed a bit too as he moved his hands to one of the smaller knots and started carefully pulsing his fingers into the muscle, satisfied with the slightly easier feel to her body.  “Seriously though, what I was going to suggest, since you said you’re having trouble getting your brain to shut down long enough to fall asleep, is that you actually _try_ to focus on something completely different.”

 

Her face screwed up a bit as she considered it, “But won’t that still keep me awake?”

 

“Nah.  It depends what you’re focusing on.  Heartbeats, for example, are nice and rhythmic, fairly quiet and soothing.  So I want you to close your eyes, take deep, even breaths, and concentrate on ours.  See if you can get your body to sync with mine.”

 

Max let that roll around in her brain for a moment and finally just shrugged and did as he suggested, figuring it couldn’t hurt to try it at this point.  Releasing another deep sigh and closing her eyes, she tilted her head in to rest her forehead over his heart.  Immersing herself in the rhythms of his body, she automatically started comparing his pulse and breath rates with her own.  Finding it easiest to match his breathing, she started with that and then tried to figure out how to get her heart to fall in line too.  

 

Really concentrating now, she gradually worked that out as well, but discovered she had to stay calm and relatively focused to keep it up.  Eventually losing track of the passage of time as she became more and more engrossed in the sound of their heartbeat, she found herself absently appreciating the easy rise and fall of his chest beneath her fingers and the delicious additional warmth seeping into her body everywhere they touched.  

 

And as those locations started to register with her, she was astounded to realize that at some point, his hands had migrated under the oversized armholes of her tank top without her noticing.  Because they were now directly massaging and caressing the bare skin of her back, the prolonged intimate contact feeling amazingly soothing, not setting off even a single alarm in her head.  Involuntarily, she sighed, “...feels good.”

 

Encouraged by her response, Alec allowed his fingers and thumbs to move more freely, applying a bit more pressure as he started working on a large knot at the base of her neck, drawing an appreciative moan from her. 

 

She knew she should probably make at least a token protest about his hands being under her shirt, even though he had warned her to expect something of that sort, but she just couldn’t bring herself to care anymore.  The sense of security and peace she’d been finding in his presence lately, persuading her to trust in his good-natured intent. 

 

Making sure to stay focused on the task at hand so his fingers wouldn’t accidently stray, Alec slowly but surely made his way up and down her back, paying close attention to her body language and sounds.  Interspersing frequent longer, gentler caresses to help soothe any discomfort he might be causing with the increased intensity required to loosen each knot.

 

Sinking deeper and deeper under the spell he was weaving on her body, Max snuggled in even closer to him, allowing the slow and steady beat of their hearts thrumming in her ears to wash over her, while the shared warmth of their bodies and gentle stroking of his hands on her skin finally united to release her stranglehold on consciousness.

 

Gradually easing off to larger, easy circular motions once he’d alleviated all the knots, he murmured, “How’re you doing down there?”  When he received no answer, he peeked down at her and realized she was asleep.  

 

Smiling tenderly, Alec slowly slid his hands out from beneath her shirt and wrapped his top arm more securely around her, content to just hold her in his arms and thrilled beyond belief that she’d actually become comfortable enough with him to let him do so.  _Maybe someday, you’ll see me as more than just a friend.  But if this is all I can ever have of you, I’ll take it._ Pressing a light kiss atop her head, he closed his eyes and happily slid off into dreamland himself.  

 

...

 

Slowly drifting back toward consciousness, Alec drowsily smiled as he lay sprawled out on his back, vaguely registering the presence of a warm female body pressed cosily all along his left side, his right hand loosely clasping one of hers atop his chest, while his other arm curved around her back.  Yawning, he tried to remember what happened the night before as his body instinctively responded to the wonderful scent just under his nose.  _Cherries... ... and smoke???_

Eyes popping wide open in alarm, he looked down to see Max, still sound asleep, her cheek pillowed gently on his chest and a blissfully serene smile curling her lips.  Then glanced farther down at the obviously tented fabric that was definitely going to get him killed if she woke any time soon.  Especially since his blanket was riding low on his hips and he could clearly see what was holding it up.  

 

_Fuck.  Fuck.  Fuck!_

_Okay.  Got to calm down.  Now!  So just think about something else.  Something sick.  Umm...  Sewers!  Yeah, dark and dank, with that god-awful stench, and that revolting wet, squidgy sensation that accompanies almost every step you take._

 

Praying as he’d never prayed before that she’d stay asleep, he gingerly released her hand and reached down to ease the fleece up as far as it would go, which wasn’t far given that it was currently pinned between their bodies.  But at least that part of his anatomy was covered now, even though he was still flying at half-mast.

 

Sighing in relief, he closed his eyes and concentrated on willing the rest away; using some techniques he’d learned at Manticore to regain control of himself.  After a few minutes, he relaxed and opened his eyes again, only then noticing exactly how bright it was, rare sunshine streaming in through the windows to blanket his bed.   

 

Glancing at his alarm clock, he was stunned to discover it was almost 11:00.  _We slept over 15 hours straight.  And she’s still asleep!_   Grinning, he cocked his head to look down at her a bit better, quickly taking in the dark, dried out bandage over her eye, before revelling in the healthy rosy flush to her skin and the complete lack of dark circles under her eyes.  Her expression smoothed out and completely untroubled, happy even, something he’d rarely seen before.

 

He continued to watch her, absolutely spellbound, as her hand slowly stretched out to rest above his right nipple.  Her lips curving up a bit more and parting on a gentle sigh, her breath tickling his skin as she shifted delicately, her cheek rubbing against him briefly in a catlike motion before coming to rest with her ear over his heart.  

 

_God.  She’s breathtaking.  What I wouldn’t give to be able to stay this way with her forever._ He barely managed to restrain himself as his hand drifted over to hover above her cheek and lips, fingers trembling slightly as they almost caressed her skin, the all-consuming desire to touch her and imprint this moment in his memory nearly overwhelming him. Slowly pulling his hand away, he sighed sadly.  _She’ll freak out though if she wakes up in my arms like this._

Carefully preparing himself and lifting his arm from around her, he held his breath as he eased out from under her, moving bare millimetres at a time until he finally slipped free.  Sliding his legs out of bed and sitting up, he froze when he heard her grumble unhappily.  Twisting around to look at her, he saw her hand moving restlessly over the spot he’d just vacated, her face starting to screw up into a frown.  Thinking quickly, he grabbed his pillow and eased it under her hand, letting out a sigh of relief when she immediately snuggled it into her chest and buried her face in it, breathing in deeply and sleepily murmuring what sounded suspiciously like his name before settling down again.

 

He shook his head slightly with an amused grin and forced himself to get up, making a quick detour through her room to grab his hoodie, a pair of sweats, and some boxer/briefs, and then snagging his phone from the charger before heading for the bathroom.  After taking care of business and getting dressed, he peeked his head out the door to check on her, then quietly slid it shut again and called Mole.  “Hey, anything urgent going on we need to know about?”

 

“No, been real quiet so far today.  And why are you whispering, Princess?”

 

“Because Max is still sleeping and I don’t want to wake her.”

 

Mole grunted.  “Not surprised.  She’s looked like crap for days now.  Figured she was due to collapse sooner or later.”

 

“Me too.  Thanks, by the way, for not calling over here looking for us.  Must admit I’m kinda surprised you didn’t though, considering how late it is.”

 

“Yeah.  Well, way I figure it, I owe her for yesterday.  She covered the majority of my shift and let me get almost 12 solid hours of uninterrupted rest.  Then she let me manhandle the human and lock him up for a few days.  So I can’t complain.”

 

Alec barely repressed a chuckle, although you could hear the amusement in his voice when he replied, “I heard.  I believe her exact words to describe your reaction were ‘practically giddy’.”

 

 “She would say something like that.”  Mole snorted.  “Anyway, I also heard about your stint from Dix, so I figured you guys could use the break.  Been meaning to bring that up at our meetings for a while actually.”

 

“Thinking about implementing some days off?”

 

“Yeah.  We can’t keep going this way.  We’re all gonna burn out eventually.”   

 

Alec nodded thoughtfully.  “I know.  I’ve been thinking the same thing.  Hasn’t been too bad so far with the reduced hours and rotating nights on call, but we do need to start taking breaks.  Even if it’s only one day off every few weeks to start.”

 

“Sounds good to me.  Why don’t you guys take this as your first one?  I’ll call if anything major comes up, and I’m supposed to have the phone tonight anyway.  So don’t bother coming in.  We can meet tomorrow morning and work out the rest of the details.”

 

“Thanks Mole.  I appreciate it.”

 

“No problem, Princess.”

 

Really smiling now as he considered possible activities for the day, Alec went back out into the kitchen and set his phone in the charger.  Looking over at Max again and seeing her start to stir, he quietly opened the fridge and tried to figure out what to make for breakfast.  He finally pulled out the ground beef he’d originally planned on cooking last night, figuring some sort of hash would fit the bill for a quick and easy meal.  Grabbing some potatoes and an onion, and a cutting board and knife from the drawers in the island, he started peeling and chopping them up, eyes drawn repeatedly back to her no matter how hard he tried to concentrate on the task at hand.  

 

All thought and movement ground to a screeching halt only minutes later as he watched her lazily roll over on to her back in the sunshine, indulging in a full body stretch with a husky moan of contentment.  Her toes curling into points as her arms curved up around her head.  Hips digging down into the mattress as her lower back arched high off the bed, tank top riding up from her mid-rise jeans to expose a sexy little belly button and a delectable amount of skin, the fabric pulling taut across her chest and clearly revealing the outline of her nipples through the thin cotton.

 

Hastily tearing his eyes away from her as she relaxed back on the bed and started to open her eyes, he struggled to focus on the last few potatoes and began chopping again, clearing his throat before greeting her with a light, “Morning sleepyhead.”

 

Blinking a bit groggily at first, Max looked around, obviously puzzled by her location and the bright sunlight streaming in the room.  Finally remembering what happened, a slight blush heated her cheeks as she yawned and murmured, “Man.  I feel tons better.  Can’t remember the last time I slept this good.”  Rolling over to face him, she slowly focused on the clock, her eyes widening in shock as she immediately sat straight up.  “Oh my God.  Is that really the time?”

 

“Yeah, but relax.”  He grinned at her.  “I already called Mole and everything’s cool.  He’s got us covered until tomorrow morning.  Said he wanted to pay you back for yesterday.”

 

“Really?”  Performing a couple of arm and shoulder rolls and then stretching out full length over her legs to test her renewed flexibility, she finally straightened back up with a delighted smile. 

 

“Really.  We’ve got the rest of the day to do whatever we please.”  He nodded toward the alcove reluctantly, “and although part of that is going to have to include laundry, I figured you might want to get out of here, maybe take a spin on our bikes.  We could even meet up with OC and Sketch after they get off work and just chill tonight.” 

 

Her face lit up as she stood.  “Can we?  I’d damn near kill to get out of here for a while and I’d love to see them.”

 

He smirked.  “I kind of got that impression the other day.  So yeah, we can give ‘em a call after we eat.  We’ll have to laser your barcode and disguise you a bit, but I’m sure we can figure something out.  And I know a few fairly secluded places we should be able to hang out without drawing too much attention.”  Finishing up with the vegetables, he turned and laid the knife down by the sink behind him.  “I’m probably going to be another 20 minutes or so with this, if you wanted to grab a quick shower?” 

 

Max nodded, and headed to her room, the smile lingering on her face.  By the time she came back out with some fresh clothes in hand, Alec already had a couple pans out on the stove and was starting to fry up the meat, onion and potatoes.  Pausing for a moment to watch him bop his head along to the tunes he’d turned on, she couldn’t help but grin anew as she continued on into the bathroom.

Catching sight of herself in the mirror, she dropped her clothes on the counter and reached up to carefully remove the gauze above her eye.  She examined the faint pink line beneath with satisfaction, then allowed her gaze to roam over the rest of her face, amazed by how rejuvenated and enthusiastic she looked compared to the day before.  Thinking about the way he’d taken care of her last night, and what he’d planned for today, she nodded resolutely at her reflection.  _He really does deserve better from me.  It’s time to start coming correct, as OC would put it._ Tossing the bandage in the garbage, she came back out and stood behind him.  “Alec?”

 

Turning toward her with a slightly puzzled look, he raised an eyebrow in question.

 

Gathering her nerve, she put her arms around his waist and hugged him.  “Thank you.” 

 

Stunned for a second, Alec hastily put down the spatula he was using and returned the gesture, squeezing her gently as he asked, “What’s this for?”

 

“For being such a great friend.  For putting up with me.  For everything.”  Pulling back a bit and looking up at him, she murmured, “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you these past few months.  And I know it probably doesn’t seem like it sometimes, but I really do appreciate everything you do for me.”  

 

He did his best to shrug casually, while his heart did flip-flops inside his chest.  “It’s nothing really.”

 

“Yeah it is.  I’ve been a royal bitch to you, so many times since we met, yet you’re still so nice to me.”  She nodded back toward his bed, “Case in point, the massage you gave me last night.  You didn’t have to do that, especially with how tired you were, but you did it anyway.  And it was wonderful.  I had myself so tied up in knots, I could barely even think straight anymore.  And you fixed that for me, like you seem to do so many things lately.”

 

“So thanks.”  Giving him another brief squeeze, she pulled away and backed up into the bathroom, sliding the door closed between them.  

 

“Anytime, Maxie.  Anytime.”  He murmured with a soft smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see Chapter 1 for disclaimer and author notes.

# Chapter 3

 

**~~~~~ Two Months Later…**

 

Leisurely scrubbing her body as she listened to the music playing out in the kitchen, Max finally closed her eyes and relaxed back into the jets with a contented sigh, immersed neck deep in warm, subtly perfumed water that swirled around her much like her thoughts did, her roommate dominating them more often than not.  

 

_I can’t believe how much more aware I’ve become over the past few months.  It’s like I’m slowly waking up from some horrible never-ending nightmare.  I’ve spent so much of my life – more than half of it – hiding and running scared.  But I never really realized until recently, just how much of my transgenic nature and instincts I’d buried and pushed aside, in my attempts to blend in and appear normal.  To stay safe._

_My sense of smell is part of it.  After the escape, I gradually lost my sensitivity to some of the things I used to be able to detect with it.  Like the distinctive scent each one of us has and our rankings in the pack-like hierarchies we established as kids._

_Take Alec.  I can tell when he’s near me now, and pick him out in a crowd by his scent alone.  Traces of him actually linger on me constantly, and my scent is on him too.  Can’t even begin to describe how disconcerting I found that when I first noticed it, but I guess it does make sense, considering how much time we spend together and how often we touch.  And I’ve smelled the same thing on other couples in TC, to varying degrees of strength, even if I still haven’t quite figured out exactly why that is._

_And as it turns out, he’s an alpha.  Although I didn’t properly recognize that either, until about a month and a half ago when we ended up confronting Logan.  Heard his low-pitched growl before he ever reached Logan, and his testosterone-laced alpha scent was damn near dripping off him he was so pissed.  It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, and my whole body went on instant alert.  The urge to submit to his will and let him handle the situation was almost overwhelming, but I managed to fight it off._

_I’d put the whole dominance thing out of my head; it’d been so long since it held any meaning for me.  Finally had to ask him to help me sort through it because I was having trouble figuring out where everyone sat in the current pecking order.  My nose was just too rusty.  He looked a bit confused and surprised at first, but it didn’t take long for him to get why I was asking.  And without a second thought, he started laying it all out for me, pointing out all the male and female alphas, and who made up their units down the ranks, so I could place their scents in the proper context.  But when he named me as top female, I couldn’t stop laughing, figured he had to be joking ‘cause I never even used to be an alpha._

_The bemused look on his face was priceless, although it morphed into a frown quickly enough, once I explained my reaction.  He just stared at me for a minute while he thought about it, and then said it must have developed naturally over the years.  What with me being alone and taking care of myself for so long, I basically became my own unit and assumed that status.  Gradually growing stronger and stronger as I took on more responsibility.  First with Moody and the Clan, then Logan and his jobs, and then running all those rescue missions last year._

_And our leadership roles in TC have apparently strengthened that even further, for both of us.  ‘Cause he said he wasn’t top of the pile either at first, no one was, since we’d never really had the opportunity to establish that kind of role in Manticore.  The units always just operated independently of each other._

_I have to admit, I’m still a bit baffled by the whole concept.  I mean, I_ am _an ‘09er.  Had more than enough people whisper that behind my back and stare at me when I first got here.  So the idea that anyone could possibly look up to me, as top_ anything _, just seems ludicrous.  But ever since he pointed it out, I’ve noticed the slightly submissive stance everyone takes toward us, so it must be true._

_And on a personal level, I guess our ranks have probably had a bit of bearing too on the way we’ve always snarked and pushed against each other.  The alpha in both of us trying to assert itself over the other, even though I didn’t realize it at the time.  Because there’s always been something different about him.  He’s always been able to worm his way under my skin, irritating the hell out of me while making me feel amazingly alive at the same time._   

 

Stretching her toes out and wrapping her arms around herself, she sunk down into the water a bit more and opened her eyes to stare up at the flickering lights cast by the numerous candles she’d lit earlier, getting lost further and further in her thoughts.

_One of the other things I’ve suppressed is my need for… well, I guess the best way to put it would be familiarity and camaraderie, that absolute bond that comes from having someone around that knows you and understands you completely, someone that you can absolutely trust.  Something I’ve barred myself from truly having for far too long now._

_I was so determined to stay safe and so afraid of trusting anyone, that I deliberately kept myself closed off and distant from damn near everybody.  And while I eventually let Moody, Logan and OC get closer to me and experienced some of that; it’s still never been quite the same as it is with my own kind._

_I’d almost forgotten how good it felt when I was a kid.  My siblings and I were always together – we ate, slept and breathed each other – touching as much as we could get away with.  For reassurance, affection, and comfort.  Probably has a lot to do with our DNA, some sort of pack thing most likely, but it gave us a sense of security that we couldn’t find anywhere else.  We knew that we would always be there for one another, would protect each other no matter what.  And when we escaped and got separated, I lost that.  Completely._

_But Alec’s reawakened all of that in me.  This ‘relationship’ we’ve been playing at, with all the touching we’ve been doing?  It’s brought us closer and closer together.  I find I can just... be when I’m with him.  And it’s so damn refreshing.  I’ve finally found that instinctive feeling of absolute safety again._

_And that’s tied in part and parcel with the biggest and most important thing I’d lost.  Touch…_ She sighed, absently trailing her fingers over her abdomen under the surface of the water and shivering.  

 

_That’s been a really sore subject for me.  I’ve known, for ages now, how much I need it.  How vital it is to my own sense of wellbeing.  But I’ve never been able to come up with a socially acceptable way of getting enough of the kind I need – concentrated, intimate yet platonic contact – not safely anyway.  Especially as I’ve gotten older, because I haven’t been able to trust anybody enough to pursue it._

_I’ve found that ordinaries just don’t view it the same way we do.  Men in particular, seem to equate touching with fucking, and most figure I must be asking for it if I so much as even glance at them.  Never mind that that’s the farthest thing from my mind.  ‘Cause between Barrett, my heats, and all the lecherous assholes I’ve run into over the years, both became practically synonymous in my mind with pain and fear and loathing.  Left me wanting to curl up in a ball somewhere and hide._

_Until now._

_With Alec._

 

_He touches me so much lately, now that I’ve learned – or started to relearn I guess – that I can just relax and let it happen.  At least with him.  Hell, it’s gotten to the point where he does it all the time, even when we're not in public.  I swear it's like breathing to him; he makes it seem so natural.  And for us, I guess it is.  It really seems to be instinctive.  Makes me wonder though, if he even realizes he’s doing it half the time._

_Cuddling up with me on the couch, hugging me or putting an arm around my shoulders, resting a hand on my thigh or the small of my back, holding my hand, or even just brushing up against me when he walks past whether there’s enough room for the both of us of not.  And that's not even counting all the back rubs and massages he's been giving me over the last few months to try to help me stay relaxed._

_And it all feels so good.  Amazingly good.  I haven't felt this good in… well, actually, I don’t think I’ve_ ever _felt this good before.  Never figured a guy would ever be able to make me feel this way.  But the more he touches me?  God.  The more I find myself craving it._ _Part of me wishing he'd maybe take it just a little bit further and push the boundaries of the platonic box I put us in.  As damning as that is to admit, even to myself._

_But while I trust him and I know there’s no way he'd_ ever _hurt me, the other half of me is still more than a little freaked out by that idea.  I’ve been going back and forth like a yo-yo on a really short string, acting all sane and hanging with him like usual, and then freaking out and trying to pick a fight with him a minute later.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he thinks I’ve lost it, even if I have gotten better at calming my ‘fight’ reaction the last few weeks.  But I’m just not sure what to do with all these feelings he's provoking in me.  Let alone whether I even_ should _try to do anything about them._   

Max sighed, still nowhere nearer to figuring that out than she had been a month ago, when she’d begun to realize exactly how far in over her head she was getting.  Shivering a bit as the water started to feel chilly against her warmer skin, she finally gave up on her bath and pulled the plug, lazily climbing out and tucking a stray wisp of hair back up into its clip, before absently grabbing her towel to dry herself off.

_I’ve been so wrong about him.  When we originally started this charade, with the way he used to act, I was positive he’d be all over me.  I expected him to constantly make sexual innuendoes in front of everyone, and try to feel me up and kiss me…  But he hasn't.  He’s never even come close to attempting anything like that._

Seeing the frown that crossed her face in the mirror, she shook her head and hurriedly wiped it away. _I am_ not _disappointed.  Besides, he's probably a lousy kisser anyway._

She couldn’t hold back the snort that involuntarily escaped her at how implausible _that_ was. _‘Cause of course, all those girls that used to hang off of him_ must _have been mistaken about how good he is.  It’s not like they actually fought over him or anything...  Oh wait, yeah, that’s right, they did._

Rolling her eyes at herself in annoyance, she frowned again.  _Not like it even matters anyway, since he’s not interested in me like that.  Not that I blame him either, with how shitty I always was to him.  I'm lucky just to have him around now.  To have him as my friend.  I still can’t believe how wonderfully he treats me._

She trailed the towel slowly over her skin. _I wonder how much longer he's going to keep on doing this though.  I mean, it's not like we really have to keep pretending we’re a couple.  Logan’s dropped off the face of the planet since he left here.  I think he may have actually left the state ‘cause Eyes Only hasn’t made an appearance and I haven't seen or heard from him since that confrontation.  Thank God!_ A huge smile of relief crossed her face. _I guess he finally took the hint._

She sighed heavily as her thoughts returned to the one thing she really didn't want to think about. _It’s not fair to Alec to keep him tied to me like this.  I should break it off with him.  Tell him I don’t need him anymore._

_Like_ that's _the truth!_

_Okay, how about this?  I don't need him to act like my boyfriend anymore._ She pressed a hand against her chest at the sudden ache she felt there. _So why do I feel so awful just thinking about telling him that?_

She stared sadly at her shadowy reflection, seeing the fear in her eyes. _Because then he'd stop touching me and I wouldn't have an excuse to let him do it anymore.  He’d probably move out too and start chasing after everything in a skirt again.  I'd lose him.  Along with any chance we might have to..._

_Huh...  And what exactly is it that I think might happen?  ‘Cause he really_ hasn’t _given any indication that he’s attracted to me, or expressed any particular desire to settle down for that matter.  And I don’t think I could tolerate anything less, even if I do think I might – only_ maybe _mind you – kinda want something more with him.  Maybe.  And could I put any more qualifiers on that?_ She shook her head at herself, exasperated by her apparent inability to sort out her own desires on the matter.

_God!  I feel like such an idiot.  I was_ not _supposed to get attached to him, let alone be attracted to him.  This is all_ his _fault.  Why couldn't he have acted like a jerk?  He wasn't supposed to be so nice about this whole thing._

_Even OC knew something was up when I saw her last month.  Not that I've ever been able to hide anything from her._ A wry smile lifted her lips at the memory of the ‘spa day’ Alec had arranged for her on that particular day off, sneaking Cindy in to their apartment…

> OC glanced up from the end of the couch where she was sitting cross-legged, putting the last coat of nail polish on Max’s toes.  Her girl was definitely twisted up about something judging from the pitiful look on her face, and damned if it didn’t almost always involve a male.  Most likely culprit: Alec.  “So what’s up with you and yo’ boy?  The full 411 now Boo.”  She deliberately stared her lazily sprawled friend right in the eyes, letting her know she meant to hear the real deal this time.
> 
>  
> 
> "Oh hell, I don't know.  He’s got me so turned around I can’t think straight anymore."  She finally answered truthfully, absently twisting a curly lock of her freshly cut hair around her fingers.  
> 
>  
> 
> A blush heated her cheeks as she remembered the brazen strength and lean muscles she'd inadvertently seen in all their glory when she’d come home early the night before and caught him getting out of the shower after a particularly hard day.  “He’s really getting to me Cin’.  He makes me feel…”  She hesitated, not quite sure how to put what she felt into words.
> 
>  
> 
> “Feel like what?”  She encouraged gently, resuming her task now that Max had started to spill.
> 
>  
> 
> “I don’t know.  Special I guess.  Like I’m the most important person in the world to him.  He listens to me, _really_ listens and just gets me, everything about me, sometimes without me even having to say a word.  Some of it’s probably because he’s transgenic like me, but he makes everything seem so effortless.”
> 
>  
> 
> “We’ve gotten so close, become such good friends, so fast.  And even though our lives really suck right now, he still manages to make me smile.  Make me laugh.”  Max shrugged self-consciously and hastily examined her fingernails, seemingly fascinated by the hot pink polish adorning them.  
> 
>  
> 
> “But it’s more than that too.  He’s become so considerate and supportive, especially since all the shit at Jam Pony went down.  He’s stepped up to the plate big time OC.  Always there, ready and willing to lend a hand wherever it’s needed, and taking care of a ton of shit that I just don’t have time to deal with.  Taking care of me too.  He’s gone from being a constant pain in my ass to someone I know I can _completely_ rely on.  No questions asked.”
> 
>  
> 
> “I feel...” she paused for a moment, looking almost embarrassed as she struggled to find the right words.  “Man, this is gonna sound weird coming from me, but I feel so safe when he’s around.  Like no one, and nothing, could possibly ever hurt me again.  And it’s stupid really, ‘cause it’s not like I actually _need_ someone to protect me or anything, but it’s still a great feeling.”  
> 
>  
> 
> “So that’s all good right?”  OC looked up and tapped the bottom of her foot to indicate she was done with it and pointed at the other.
> 
>  
> 
> Not missing a beat, Max switched up and continued thoughtfully, “Yeah, but ever since he started helping me out with this charade of being together, he’s… well, he’s been touching me.”  
> 
>  
> 
> When Cindy immediately looked back up at her, a look of shock on her face, she quickly shook her head as she qualified, “Not sexually or anything, nothing even remotely like that.  He’s just constantly touching me.  But the way it… the way _he_ makes me feel?  It’s confusing the hell out of me.”  
> 
>  
> 
> She sighed, frustrated.  “And of course, it never fails.  Just when I start thinking maybe, just _maybe_ I’m beginning to get a handle on whatever this is with him, things get all mixed up again.  I swear, sometimes that man just doesn’t know when to shut up.  Or what’s good for him.  He’ll turn around and spit out some idiotic comment that makes it damn near impossible for me not to smack him or something.  And there are still times when all he has to do is breathe in my direction to drive me absolutely crazy.”
> 
>  
> 
> Nodding, while trying to hide a smile, OC asked, “Crazy good or crazy bad?”
> 
>  
> 
> Max threw her hands up in the air in disgust.  “That’s just the thing.  I’m not sure anymore.”  Pausing for a moment and frowning, she muttered, “Both I guess.  And living with him in such close quarters certainly isn’t helping.”  
> 
>  
> 
> She groaned and covered her face with the back of one arm, whispering the most damning truth of all, “He’s too damn sexy for his own good.  Hell, for my own good.  He’s been driving me to distraction the last few days.  I keep catching myself staring at him, just watching the way he moves, and smiles, and … God!  Everything about him has been drawing my attention.  It’s been all I can do to keep him from noticing.  And all he has to do is touch me or look at me the right way and my stomach fills up with butterflies.  My skin gets all tingly and I feel like I can’t breathe.  My whole body goes on hyper alert.”
> 
>  
> 
> OC raised her eyebrows, surprised she would ever admit something like that.  “Did hell freeze over and no one figured they’d better tell her Originalness ‘bout it?”
> 
>  
> 
> Max peeked out from under her arm reluctantly.  “I know.  I know!  I don’t get worked up like this over guys unless I’m in heat.  So what’s wrong with me?”
> 
>  
> 
> "I think you prob’ly already know somewhere in that revved up brain o’ yours.”  Sighing at the deer in the headlights look she received, she continued, “Always said they made y’all pretty suga’, an’ no doubt Hot Boy got more ‘n his fair share.  Ain’t no shame in admittin’ you got the hots for him.  You wanna get with him.”
> 
>  
> 
> She couldn’t hold Cindy’s intent gaze, blushing like crazy and barely managing to admit, "I guess…  _Maybe…_   But he's not really my boyfriend, so there's no way on earth that's ever gonna happen.”  
> 
>  
> 
> She finally pulled her arm away and looked up properly, despair shining in her eyes.  “You saw how he was at Jam Pony and Crash before all this went down, OC.  Women were a dime a dozen for him and that’s not what I want.  I can’t just be some ‘unique creature unlike any other’ to him and I refuse to become another notch on his bedpost."
> 
>  
> 
> Cindy shook her head for a moment, thinking rapidly.  “Maybe you’re gettin’ hung up over nothin’.”  When Max screwed up her face, obviously puzzled, she rolled her eyes, “Sounds like yo’ boy might be thru bein’ a playa, cause you just said how he ‘was’ and how women ‘were’ a dime a dozen.  _Not_ he ‘is’ and they ‘are’.”
> 
>  
> 
> Seeing that she had her full attention now, OC continued, “I can see why he was prob’ly like that, least at first.  From what you’ve spilled, Manticore was pretty much prison right?  Not like they woulda let ‘im have sex ‘cept maybe on missions, to seduce some lickety chick for info or somethin’.  So to be out an’ have a huge banquet available must’ve driven ‘im a bit wild.  ‘Specially when the honeys kept throwin’ their panties at ‘im.”  
> 
>  
> 
> Max nodded slowly, getting her point.
> 
>  
> 
> “But none o’ that matters now, does it Boo?  More important is – what’s he been up to lately?  Has he been mackin’ on any shorties that you’ve seen?” 
> 
>  
> 
> She stared at her, bemused, really thinking about it now.  Eventually she had to shake her head, “No, I guess he hasn’t.  But we’ve been really busy working on stuff for TC, so it’s not like he’s had much down time anyway.”
> 
>  
> 
> OC raised an eyebrow at her inquiringly as she screwed the cap back on the bottle, “An’ what’s he doin’ with the precious little time he _does_ get?”
> 
>  
> 
> Max looked startled, and then blushed again as she admitted, “Spending it with me.  Just relaxing and hanging here, talking and watching movies and stuff.”  It was all too easy to see where Cindy was trying to go with this line of questioning, as she started to smile, obviously pleased by her response.
> 
>  
> 
> She frowned and chewed on her lip for a moment thoughtfully before declaring, “But that doesn’t mean anything.  It is his place too after all, and it’s not as if he can just go out to strip clubs and bars whenever he feels like it.  Maybe he doesn’t have anything better to do, or he’s too tired to try to sneak out of TC.  Plus, he _has_ been doing the pretend boyfriend thing for me, so maybe he’s just doing it to keep up appearances.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Un huh.  You _really_ believe that?  Hot Boy’s gone and gave up on gettin’ his freak on – for months on end – just to help a sista’ out?” 
> 
>  
> 
> “I don’t know.  Maybe?  Or he’s just being extra discrete about it, and making booty calls before or after some of his outside ‘errands’.”  Max sighed heavily, “But it’s not like any of this makes a lick of difference anyway ‘cause I really don’t think he sees me as anything other than a friend.  He’s just not interested in me that way.”  
> 
>  
> 
> “You trippin’ Boo.  He must have some good reason for doin’ all this.  Sure he may’ve grown up some, but when has that boy _not_ been interested in a little sumthin’ sumthin’ huh?  ‘Specially with a fine ass female like yo’self.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Okay, see?  That, there, just proves my point!”  She pointed triumphantly at OC with one hand, then waved it around to encompass the apartment.  “We’ve been living here together for _five_ _months_ , and he’s been nothing but a perfect gentleman toward me the whole damn time.  Sure, he plays it up as Mr. Affectionate out in public: not just touching me, but flirting, bringing me flowers and little trinkets when he comes back from supply runs, and paying tons of attention to me.  But it’s all just an act.”  
> 
>  
> 
> “Despite the fact that we were putting on a show for Logan, and the fact that he basically had carte blanche to molest me in front of him, _not once_ has he _ever_ tried to touch me in _any kind_ of an overtly sexual way.  You’ve gotta admit, he should’ve made a move on me by now, if he had any interest in me whatsoever.”    
> 
>  
> 
> Cindy shook her head slightly in disbelief.  Her intuition telling her there had to be more to the story than Max was confessing.  _‘Cause the way I’ve seen that boy look at her, ain’t no way that’s just an act.  An’ he was showin’ signs of jealousy over Zack and Logan long before this too.  Course, it’s not like she was nice to him or payin’ him much attention then neither._   _And actually..._   “Eva’ stop to think maybe yo’ boy is too leery to try for more?  I mean, seriously, I love you Boo, but you’ve smacked his ass somethin’ fierce since you’ve known him.  You really surprised he ain’t linin’ up to give you ‘nother crack at it?”
> 
>  
> 
> More than a bit hurt, as the awful truth behind the comments stung deep, Max stared up at her in shock, unable to speak. 
> 
>  
> 
> Rubbing her leg to try to soothe her, OC murmured, “Sorry, but you gonna have to step up.  Think yo’ gonna have to be the one to say or do somethin’ if you really wanna get with him.”
> 
>  
> 
> “What?”  Her eyebrows shooting up toward the sky, Max almost shrieked, then hastily lowered her voice after the outburst, her tone making it clear she was unwilling to even consider the idea.  “No freakin’ way.  I’m not gonna make a fool out of myself and actually chase after him or anything.  I’d rather let him drive me completely insane first.”
> 
>  
> 
> "Al’ight, if that’s the way you want it.”  Sighing and giving up for now, she nodded decisively and reached down beside her to grab the backpack full of supplies she’d brought, starting to dig to the bottom of it as she spoke.  “Don't sweat it, sug'.  OC's got just the thing to make you feel better.  Maybe take some of that ‘crazy’ away too.”
> 
>  
> 
> “Found this and bought it for you after yo’ last heat, on the off chance it might help, but haven’t had a chance to give it to you in private ‘til now.  So think of it as an early Christmas present.”  Pulling out a brown paper bag, she offered it to Max, “It may not be the real thing, but I know my Boo's got a good imagination.  Maybe it's time you started putting it to better use."

 

The sound of the door opening, carrying over the music playing in the almost dark apartment, broke her free from her wayward thoughts.  Acting quickly, she pulled the towel up across her body as she slid the bathroom door the rest of the way closed.  "Alec?"  

 

“Yeah."  Kicking the door shut behind him, he flipped the light switch for the alcove with his elbow and put the box he was carrying down on the island, before shrugging his jacket off and hanging it over the back of one of the stools to dry.  "Ugh.  It's been a long day.  The sleet just wouldn’t quit and the roof of that building leaks like a son of a bitch.”  

 

Crouching down, he struggled with the laces on his boots for a minute, finally easing them off and setting them up in front of the ceramic heater to help them dry.  “Kept pissing down on us the whole time we were out."  His soaking wet socks were the next to go.  He glared balefully at them as he threw them in the empty corner of the alcove, wiggling his bare toes with relief against the hardwood floor. 

 

"I’m surprised you're back this early.  I thought you'd be on that run for at least another hour or two."  Her voice carried to him through the bathroom door.  

 

"What can I say?  I run an efficient crew.”  Standing back up straight and fingering his damp t-shirt with distaste, he pulled it off too, tossing it to join his socks as he walked into the kitchen to put away the few food items he’d brought directly home.  

 

“Well, that _and_ none of us wanted to be out in that shit any longer than we had to."  He opened the fridge and put in the fresh gallon of milk, then leaned over, resting his elbow on the door as he scrutinized its contents _.  There isn’t much left.  It’s a good thing we scored big today.  Even managed to get hold of some reasonably fresh fruit.  I’ll have to go and pick up the rest of our rations tomorrow, once they’ve been sorted._   Glancing over at the shadowy outline of her body flickering through the bathroom door, he asked, “So what did you get up to today, besides laundry?”

 

“Umm… not a hell of a lot.  Lazed around… and uh… started reading one of the books OC gave me for Christmas.”  Distracted by other thoughts, Max scanned her reflection in the mirror.  Flushed skin - too much skin - met her gaze, her towel barely long enough to cover both her breasts and ass.  _There's no way I can go out there in front of him like this.  Not right now._   She carefully peeked her head through the door, hair still haphazardly clipped atop her head and a slight frown marring her forehead until she caught a glimpse of Alec’s half-naked silhouette in the fridge door.  

 

Grabbing the almost empty milk jug, he stood up and tipped his head back to drain it, his Adam's apple bobbing with every swallow.  A few last glistening beads of water slowly slipping from his wet hair, lingering over every muscle during their leisurely voyage down his chest and back until they were cruelly arrested by the waistband of his low-slung jeans.

 

_Holy shit!  Okay, don't forget to breathe._   

 

Gulping, she managed to regain her voice, or at least a strangled semblance of it.  "Do me a favour, would you?  Grab my bathrobe?  I left it in my closet, on the hook below the shelf on the left hand side."

 

“Sure.”  Alec shut the fridge door and tossed the empty jug in the sink as she pulled her head quickly back in the bathroom and slid the door closed.  _I can’t believe she’s still so modest around me, even though she's caught me naked a couple of times._ He shook his head lightly at her antics.  _I must admit though, her tolerance level on a lot of things has increased considerably.  It’s just wishful thinking on my part that this could be one of them._

Shivering a bit as he sauntered around the bar, he grabbed his zip up hoodie from the back of the closest stool and pulled it on, pushing the sleeves up past his elbows and leaving it open as he continued on into her room, inhaling deeply of the intoxicating scent that was uniquely Max.  It lingered in the air slightly stronger than usual, teasing his senses.  _It’s a bit different today.  Almost smells like…_ Thinking about it for a second, he immediately dismissed the idea.  _Nah, couldn’t be.  She’s way too repressed to even consider doing something like that._

 

_At least she's started to relax again.  For several weeks there, she was so keyed up I thought she was gonna snap, but that visit with OC a month ago gradually got rid of most of the bitchiness she’d relapsed into._   Smiling with relief, he walked past his closet and jiggled open the slightly sticky door to hers, absently reaching for her robe as he pondered her recent behaviour.  

 

Something tipped over and slipped off the other side of the shelf, and he caught it instinctively before it hit the floor.  The long, bright pink, phallic-shaped object immediately capturing his complete and undivided attention.  

 

_Holy crap!_

_OC must have given this to her ‘cause I can’t quite picture Max getting one for herself.  Although I’m guessing this has a lot to do with her slightly improved mood over the last several weeks…_

A knowing smirk crossed his lips as he turned around and eyed her bed, his nostrils flaring with renewed interest.  The warm glow from her bedside lamp highlighting the romance novel lying below it on the nightstand, and then spilling out across her sheets, creating shadowy valleys in the bunched up cotton at the bottom of the bed and amongst their pillows strewn haphazardly across the top.  The neat stack they usually comprised during the day, nothing but a distant memory.  

 

Intense curiosity taking hold, he stared back down in stunned disbelief at the sex toy in his hand.  _When has she been finding time to use this though?  Including today, she’s only had a few days off since OC’s last visit, and other than that, I think she’s only had the place to herself maybe three or four times.  Unless this thing’s really, really quiet and I just haven’t heard it at night..._   The thought that he could possibly be sleeping through something like that, disturbing him on numerous levels.

_I should put this right back where it came from and pretend I never saw it, but damn...  When am I likely to get a chance to check one of these out again?_ Taking a quick glance out the doorway, he shrugged and quickly turned it on.  _One minute won't hurt, since the odds of her coming out of the bathroom without her robe are extremely low._   _And wow... it really_ is _quiet._ Fiddling with the various buttons at the bottom of the device, he hefted it in his hand objectively as he experimented with the different settings and the butterfly shaped extension on one side.  

 

Max leaned back against the bathroom counter, impatiently waiting for Alec’s return.  When one minute turned into two, and then three, she huffed out a sigh.  _Probably got distracted by something and forgot about my robe.  Or maybe he decided to change while I’m in here?_   Slowly moving around the room and blowing out all the candles in an effort to give him a little more time, she finally reached the door again and eased it open, peeking out to see if she could see him.

 

Finding no sign of him, and unable to hear anything significant in her room over the music playing, she sighed again _.  I’m just gonna have to bite the bullet and go out there._ Fussing with her towel until she achieved the best coverage she could possibly hope for, she swallowed hard and took one more look out the door _._

_Okay.  I can do this.  Just gotta hold my chin up and act calm, cool and collected, ‘cause the last thing I need is for him to see how flustered he makes me.  But I swear, if he dares make even one smart ass comment about this, I’m gonna beat him half to death, friend or no friend._ Taking a deep breath, she stepped out into the kitchen and turned toward her room.

 

"So did you get lost or…  Alec!"  Max’s dry tone turned into a shriek as she came through the doorway, towel clutched tightly around her body.  A deep red flush suffusing her face as she saw the slightly guilty look on his startled face and her new vibrator humming within his strong, capable hands.

 

"What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing?  Give me that!"  She blurred toward him, trying desperately to grab it, but he anticipated the move and raised it over his head just out of reach.

 

“Hey, calm down!  I wasn’t snooping through your stuff.  I swear!  Damn thing fell off the shelf and into my hand when I opened your closet door."  He stared at her face, trying to gauge exactly how much trouble he was in.  

 

_Whoa!  I’m not sure which has more colour, her or her vibrator!  And that really isn’t a good sign, especially in combination with the death glare she’s giving me.  Haven’t seen that look on her face in ages._ “Sorry.  But why are you so upset?  I was just curious.  Not like I’m hurting it or anything.”

 

"Yeah, and haven’t you ever heard that ‘curiosity _killed_ the cat’ Alec?"  She huffed at him, embarrassment warring with extreme ire as she snatched her knee-length robe off the hook, anxious to shield herself from his all too perceptive gaze.  

 

"Well I've never seen one before.  So sue me.”  He looked up at it dubiously.  "Are they really all that great?"

 

She quickly pulled on the satiny fabric and turned away from him, letting the towel slip off from under it as she belted it securely.  Completely at a loss for words and getting redder by the minute, she turned back to stare up at him.  _How can I possibly tell him the only way I really get anything out of it is by fantasizing about him?_

 

"I…You…It…”  Finally she settled on, "There's _no way_ I'm going to talk to you about that.  So give it back!"  She tried to pull his arm down, but couldn’t move it, his bicep solid as steel under her fingers.  “Alec.”  She growled warningly.

 

“It must at least be a decent stress reliever considering the way you’ve calmed down lately.  Although it can't be near as great as the real thing.  Certainly none of the women _I've_ been with have ever needed one.”  He shook his head as he continued to hold it up, unable to resist teasing her a little bit.

 

“And you know, actually, come to think of it, I can’t help but wonder whose name you’re moaning when you’re using this baby.  Anything you want to share with me Maxie?”  A wicked grin lit up his face as he eyed her bed and his rumpled pillow for a moment and then met her shocked gaze, his implication clear.

 

_Oh God.  Just kill me now.  Let me crawl off into a dark hole somewhere and die.  Please?_  She glared at him, getting more and more wound up as he watched her closely, eagerly awaiting her response _._   

 

“Yeah right.  As if!”  Her brain finally kicked into gear in an attempt to salvage her pride, and she flew on the offensive, deliberately laughing at him.  “I think the better question is, if _you're_ such a stud – Mr. God’s Gift To Women, like you keep bragging – and have such mad skills in the bedroom, why haven't I seen any of _our_ women fawning over you, huh?  None of them have even given you a second glance since we've been here." 

 

Gathering steam, she continued hotly.  "I mean, I could understand why the _ordinaries_ drooled over you, but come on!  Now that we’re here and I’ve seen all the _glorious_ competition out there, you're certainly _not_ the hottest male in TC."

 

"Hey now.  There’s no need to be that harsh, is there?”  Alec winced internally, belatedly figuring out that teasing her about her vibrator _might_ not have been the best idea he’d ever had, since it kinda looked like Mt. St. Maxie was about to erupt all over him.  Something she hadn’t done in quite some time.  The sudden realization cluing him in to exactly how upset she must be, to be reacting this way. 

 

Back-pedaling a bit, he tried to deflect some of her anger and diffuse the situation.  “You needed me to be your boyfriend, remember?  So I've been doing the gentlemanly thing and keeping myself off the market as a favour to you.  I mean, argue all you want, Max, but I’m pretty sure Logan would’ve gotten suspicious if he'd seen me out with other women or gotten wind of it from somebody else." 

 

"Whatever you have to tell yourself."  She waved a hand at him dismissively, still utterly mortified, and too pissed off with him about that fact to think clearly about what she was doing, or the possible consequences of taunting him.  "Like that really would have stopped you if the chance had come up; we were made to be stealthy after all.  There's no way Logan would’ve noticed if you'd been discrete.  And it’s not like we’ve had to worry about him lately anyway."  

 

She ran her gaze over him appraisingly, taking her time and undressing him with her eyes, purposely staring at the slight bulge in the front of his jeans before heatedly meeting his gaze once more, her voice filled with contempt.  "You're obviously all talk.  After all, if you were _really_ that good, you wouldn't have to brag about it.  Now would you?"

 

“You think I'm just bragging?  That I couldn't rock your world if you gave me half a chance?  I could certainly do a better job than this thing."  Getting a bit pissed now himself, Alec finally turned off the vibrator and put it down on the night stand beside her bed, his eyes blazing at the challenge he read in hers, even though he knew there was no way in hell she’d actually follow through on the demands her eyes were making.  _My luck’s never been that good._

 

"You wouldn’t be able to handle me Max.”  He began slinking toward her, stalking her aggressively as he raked his eyes over her, his heated gaze lingering on all the right places as he licked his lips.  Hard put not to smirk as she matched him step for step around the foot of the bed, obviously aware now of the tiger she had by the tail.  Her steps stopping abruptly when she backed into the corner by her dresser, anger morphing into passion in the face of his blatant sensuality.  

 

Stepping in as close as he dared, he tilted his face down to hers and stared directly into her eyes.  “I'd have you screaming out my name in ecstasy.  Over… and over again.  All… night… long."  He deliberately drawled out the words, imbedding them in her head, trying to tempt her.  

 

_Oh shit!  I can't let him see how much I want him to do just that._ Max inhaled shakily, the hungry stare he was devouring her with overwhelming her.  His eyes burning brightly into hers.  So intense.  So green.  

 

Senses tingling, she breathed him in, the faint scent of his aftershave enveloping her, the warmth of his body - oh so close - heating her own to a delicious fire.  She could feel his hot breath on her lips; almost taste him when her tongue darted out to lick her own.  Every inch of her body crying out for him, silently begging for his touch.  

 

That shrewd little voice in the back of her head spoke up, whispering, ' _Come on Max!  You've wanted him for a while now, wondered about what it would be like to be with him, even if you were too scared to actually do anything about it.  So go ahead and push him into doing it.  With how good just his normal touch feels, you know he’ll probably more than live up to his promise.  And this might be your only chance to work this fixation with him out of your system without losing face.’_ '  

 

Succumbing to fate, she tilted her chin up defiantly, her voice decidedly husky. "All right!  Fine!  Why don't you put your body where your mouth is, pretty boy.  If you're so good, prove it!"

 

Alec blinked, absolutely stunned, and then smiled, slowly, wickedly, his trademark, sexy grin lighting up his entire face.  _I never thought you’d actually go for it, Maxie, but it figures you’d make it into a dare.  Always looking for a way to cover your ass.  Do you really think I’ll let you back out of this later and blame it on idle curiosity or some other lame excuse?  You’ve been restless and frustrated since the day I met you._

_I’ve seen the way you look at me sometimes when you think I’m not paying attention.  And I’ve felt you snuggle up to me when we’re sitting together on the sofa talking or watching a movie.  Oh, you'd deny it to your dying day if I said anything about it, but it's obvious.  You need this, want this just as much as I do._

_Take right now.  Your eyes are half lidded, your breathing's erratic, and your smell..._ His nostrils flared slightly. _Oh yeah.  You’re definitely aroused.  And I’m more than willing to play your little game… and win._ "I'd be happy to."  

 

Mentally preparing himself, his eyes followed her tongue as it darted out once more to moisten her full lips.  He barely stifled a groan, already hard at just the _thought_ of what was to come due to his long months of abstinence, and then he couldn’t help but wonder, _how am I going to make this last when I already want her so badly?_   _I need to stay in control, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to if we’re face to face or she starts pushing my buttons._    

 

Thinking quickly, he said, "There's only one rule, Max."  

 

Swallowing shakily, she whispered, "What's that?"

 

"I'm in charge.  You do what I say, when I say it."  When she looked like she was about to object, he shook his head.  "No arguments.  It'll spoil the mood.  Besides, how am I supposed to please you if we're fighting the whole time?"  

 

She looked away from him for a moment, considering. _Can I really do this?_

Unbidden, fantasies of him from her heat dreams and ‘relaxation’ sessions filled her head.  _His long, hard body pressing intimately against her as she knelt in front of him.  His heated hands caressing her breasts, her hips, and lower still to where he filled her to perfection…_

_Hell, I can’t_ not _do this.  It might be my only chance._

 

Alec stared at her, fascinated by the flush heating her skin, the sudden hitch in her breathing, and the way her eyelashes fluttered delicately over her cheekbones veiling her eyes from him.  Waiting impatiently until she nodded, he released the breath he hadn't even realised he'd been holding and stepped back to give them both room to manoeuvre.  "Good.  Now turn around.”

 

“And Max?" 

 

His eyes raked over her heatedly as he paused for a moment, waiting for her eyes to meet his.  

 

"Lose the robe."  
  


Pushing out away from the wall and then turning slowly, almost in a daze, she faced it and shakily untied the sash, letting the material ease apart and slip down over her shoulders, the slippery satin slowly revealing the lush curves of her spine and hips, before puddling at her feet.  She stood there, shivering, unbelievably tense as she awaited his touch, all her senses on alert as she tried to figure out what he was going to do to her.  

 

Her first clue was a small puff of air in the middle of her back, the second, his warm lips brushing lightly back and forth over the same area.  She jumped involuntarily at the incredibly arousing sensation, unable to help herself.  

 

"Alec, what are you doing?" she asked in a small, tremulous voice.  From the hungry look in his eyes, she’d half-expected him to just lay her down on the bed and start going at it, not do _this_ , whatever this was.

 

"Shhhhh.  Trust me."  Taking her hands in his and lifting them, he used his body to propel hers from behind, a hard, denim clad thigh insinuating itself between her slightly spread legs.  He placed her hands flat against the wall, lowering his head to whisper against her ear.  "Keep them there."

 

Facing the corner, with her arms straight out in front of her and her weight resting slightly forward, Max couldn’t help but wonder again what he was up to.  Sighing helplessly, she closed her eyes as she felt his lips touch down between her shoulder blades once more.  Shivers ran up and down her spine and she fought the urge to arch into him.  _Trust him to immediately find an extremely sensitive spot._

 

He breathed out over her spine, pressing gentle kisses wherever the urge struck him, his eyes sparkling with delight as he watched the goosebumps rising in his wake.  Becoming bolder, his kisses grew stronger, became licks, then playful bites.  

 

Gradually, his fingertips and knuckles joined in, both hands skimming lightly over her bare back, stroking up and down the soft, vulnerable skin of her sides almost up to her breasts before retreating back down toward her tiny waist and cupping her delectable ass.  

 

He repeated the motions, over and over again, teasing her and himself with anticipation until she began to move restlessly under his touch, trying to urge his hands up to where she needed them.  

 

"What’s the matter, Maxie?  Did you want something?"  He murmured huskily against her shoulder, his teeth finding a fleshy spot and biting down lightly as his hands finally moved up to cup her breasts.  "Maybe this?”  

 

A throaty chuckle escaped him as she purred involuntarily.  “You feel so good, you know.  Like silk.  Living, breathing silk.”  

 

He moved his head into the curve of her neck, nuzzling through the stray tendrils of hair that’d escaped from her clip and inhaling softly before breathing his next words out over her barcode.  “And you smell even better.  Do you taste as sweet, I wonder?”  His tongue ran gently up the side of her neck until he reached her ear, where he nibbled on the lobe, driving her to distraction. 

 

_Amazing.  Even the sound of his voice is arousing.  Not to mention what he’s doing with his hands and lips and… oh God… his teeth._   Already she could feel herself becoming incredibly wet, the unusual sensation taking her by surprise.  Her skin felt like it was on fire, and he’d hardly even done anything yet.  

 

She arched in his arms, unable to coherently answer him as a low moan escaped her lips.  "Mmm…more." 

 

Grinning, Alec complied, his touch light at first.  Sometimes barely touching, he teased her as he traced the outline of her nipples before fondling her breasts with abandon, his lips and tongue continuing to wander over her shoulders and neck.  Rolling her nipples between his fingers, he tugged on them, interspersing delicate touches with slightly rougher ones.  Knowing instinctively what she wanted.  Needed so desperately.  

 

After several minutes, he abandoned them, his hands slowly slipping down over her abdomen and past her belly button.  Gradually moving lower, across her hips and down her thighs, skimming along the insides and encouraging her legs to spread wider for him, allowing him access to her most intimate parts. 

 

Max cried out when his fingers finally brushed against the soft mound at the apex of her thighs, exposing the soft, sensitive bud hidden amongst her dark curls to his expert attention.  He took his time, the palm of his hand gently massaging her as his fingers slid teasingly back and forth across her wet opening.  

 

Her hands slid down the wall a bit and her head tipped forward in an attempt to brace herself.  "Oh, Alec…  I can't…” she whimpered as she began to lose control, her knees melting. 

 

He continued stroking her with his right hand, sliding his other arm up around her waist to help support her weight.  “Yes you can.”  He cupped her right breast in his hand, his thumb grazing over her hardened nipple again and again.  

 

“Ohhh!”  She moaned and gave up her position on the wall, leaning back against his well-defined chest and resting her head against his shoulder, her eyes tightly closed as her hands reached back behind her head to clench in his damp hair.  

 

Alec, encouraged by her obvious pleasure and more than turned on himself, rubbed his captive erection against her and groaned in frustration at the inadequate friction _.  Fuck!  I’d kill to be inside you right now Maxie.  But this isn’t about me.  I need to make you want this just as much as I do, if not more.  Especially since I’d love nothing better than to make this a permanent arrangement._

 

Using the ironclad control Manticore had drilled into him, he ignored his own need and settled his lips against the curve of her ear, whispering sexy little endearments as his fingers continued to glide softly over the top of her tender bud.  Placing a finger on either side to spread her a bit, he began stroking inside her, slowly pressing deeper and deeper, his rhythm never faltering as he slipped his middle and ring fingers all the way inside her molten core.  

 

“Mmm…  You’re so tight, baby.  So wet.  I can’t wait to taste you.”  He continued moving both hands, one caressing her erect nipples, the other palming her clit and fingering her as he kissed the delicate shell of her ear, sighing her name over and over again.

 

"Oh God."  She lost the small amount of control she had left, her head curving back and up into his mouth, fingers tightening in his hair, hips thrusting shakily down onto his hand.  She pushed up on to her toes and arched into the solid wall of flesh behind her, grateful for his support as her world spun crazily around her. 

 

Sensation piled upon sensation.  Lights flashed behind her closed eyelids, his hot, tense muscles, pressed ever so invitingly against the length of her spine, the only thing keeping her upright.  Her own name filled her ears, leaving his lips in a deep, husky voice that surely must have been designed to drive her crazy.  The musky scents of arousal, testosterone and after-shave permeated the air, surrounding her in an erotic bubble.  

 

Her release, when it finally came, took her completely by surprise.  Her body took on a life of its own, shuddering against him, her breath, his name, leaving her lips in little gasping cries, explosions rocketing through her, over her, knocking her entire world out of orbit.

 

Alec studied her face, the intense expressions of joy and wonder written there an incredible turn on, her obvious pleasure and unrestrained cries extremely sensual to him.  He could feel every contraction of her muscles around his fingers, sweet nectar flowing from her and pooling on his hand as she strained against him.  Continuing to hold her, he pressed light kisses against her cheek and neck, letting her come back to earth at her own pace.

 

Eventually, she sagged against him, slowly sliding her fingers from his hair, her attention refocusing on him when she felt him ease his fingers from inside her.  Turning her head a bit to glance at his face, she flushed anew.  The satisfaction in his sparkling eyes was obvious as was the shit-eating grin plastered on his lips.  

 

“Don’t look so smug, smart ass.”  

 

She pushed past him and turned, putting a hand on the dresser to steady herself as her knees faltered for a moment.  Trying to think clearly, but still a bit dazed, she spat out, “It’s been like… a year and a half since I’ve been with a guy, so the first time was bound to feel really good.  Doesn’t have anything to do with your bedroom skills.”

 

If anything, his grin intensified as he turned to face her and shook his head, eyes roaming appreciatively over her obviously sated body.  “Ah, but see, you just admitted I _do_ have skills and your body just finished telling me all about it too.”

 

Barely restraining herself, she managed not to slap the grin off his face and shrugged instead, pursing her lips in thought as she ran her eyes over him.  “Maybe you do, maybe you don’t.  That’s yet to be seen.”  

 

_Oh really?  Two can play that game.  I’ll get you yet Max.  You will admit you want me._

Catching her heavy-lidded gaze, Alec deliberately raised his right hand to his generous lips, his tongue coming out to lick his glistening fingers before sucking the middle one in to his mouth.  Pulling it out slowly, he partially closed his eyes, savouring the taste.  “Well I was right about one thing.”  He finally murmured.

 

It took her a minute to find her voice again, but she hesitantly whispered, “What’s that?”

 

Pinning her with his gaze, he grinned wickedly, his voice husky and filled with sin as he purred, “You do taste sweet.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see Chapter 1 for disclaimer and author notes.

# Chapter 4  

 

Max's mouth opened and closed several times before coming to rest wide open, as she struggled to find something, _anything_ to say in response.  Unfortunately, no snappy comeback was forthcoming.  Her brain simply refused to cooperate.  Completely befuddled, it lingered instead on the tantalising image of him sucking on his finger, tasting her, his husky comment reverberating through her head.  

 

_The man is sex personified.  There ought to be a law._   

 

Alec barely restrained his laughter at her gaping expression and wiped his hand off on his jeans _.  She looks like a fish.  A really,_ really _sexy fish, but a fish nonetheless._   Being in the presence of a nude, completely speechless Max had to be number one on his list of extremely unlikely, not to mention incomprehensible events.  

 

Deciding to take pity on her, he held out his arms and motioned to her.  “Come here.”  

 

She balked at first, inexplicably apprehensive as the reality of what they were about to do hit her.  Then, remembering their bargain, she did as he asked, slowly taking the two small steps required to place her back within his arms, but stopping just shy of touching him.  

 

_What does he expect from me?  Hell, it’s been so long, I’m not even sure I know what to do.  Like I ever really have!_ She chewed on her lower lip, her eyes darting from his chest, to the bed and back again as her hands fluttered nervously at her sides.  _Not that I’m innocent or anything – not by a long shot – at least I know the basics._

 

_Maybe I should tell him about my lack of real experience.  He does kinda have a right to know.  Especially since we’re gonna… you know… have sex._

The thought threw her into a tailspin, the devil's advocate in her brain taking over. _Yeah,_ that's _a good idea.  He'll probably get completely pissed off.  Here you are insulting his prowess, when the only encounters you've had have been when you're so far gone in the throes of heat that you can barely remember any of it afterward.  It's too much of a fucking blur!  Pun intended._

_At least he has a normal sex life.  Sure you’ve kinda figured out how to satisfy yourself with that toy, but what do you really know about sex?  Let alone pleasing a guy?_ She shook her head ever so slightly, her body quivering with self-doubt.  _Hopefully he’s about to change all that._

Alec watched her intently, the play of emotions across her face too fast to read accurately, especially when she wouldn’t look up at him properly.  He tensed when he felt her shiver and saw a hint of anxiety race over her features. _Is she scared?  Of me?_ A frown marred his lips and creased his brow as he thought about it, his arousal subsiding a bit.

_Something’s not right here.  Why is she so nervous?  She hasn’t been this skittish with me in a long time.  I'd almost think she's a virgin with the way she’s acting, except I know damn better.  It's impossible given the female heat cycles.  So what's the problem?_ He scanned her face again quickly and scrubbed a hand back through his hair. _Does she want to stop?_

Reaching down, he meshed his hands with hers, feeling them tremble for half a second before she got them under control.  He lifted them up to the center of his chest to get her attention.  "Max?  You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you, right?  I won’t bite.”  He tried to ease the tension mounting between them.  “At least not hard.”

 

She laughed, a little desperately, and finally lifted her gaze while avoiding looking directly into his eyes.  “I’m fine.”  

 

When the only change in him was the lifting of his eyebrows, she tried to sound a bit more convincing.  “Really!  Just waiting for you to do your… thing."  Her fingers wiggled against his, trying to bluff her way through.  "After all, you're the one trying to prove a point, aren’t you?”

 

He stared down at her earnestly, trying to get her to open up to him.  “Only if you want me to.  You've got to know I'd never do anything to hurt you."

 

"I know."  She slowly nodded.  "You've more than proven that by now."  

 

"So you should also know that the last thing I want is to ruin the real friendship we've established by pushing you into doing something you don't really want to do."  Alec hesitated; reluctant to ask the question in his head, but knowing he had to even though he dreaded her answer.  “Have you changed your mind about this?”

 

“No."  Flinching at the harshness of the quickly spoken word, she attempted to extract her foot from her mouth without being too obvious about it.  "It’s only fair to play this out.  You’ve got me curious now, about how good it might actually be with you.”  It was the truth as far as that went.  

 

She peeked at him from beneath her lashes to gauge the effectiveness of her ploy, but unfortunately, her nonchalant act didn't appear to be working. 

 

"Riiight.  That's why you look nervous as hell.  Come on Max.  I thought we were friends.  Please tell me what's wrong.”  A determined look came over his face.  “If you don’t, this isn’t gonna happen.  There’s no way I’m gonna risk screwing us up.  Not over something as stupid as sex."

 

_Damn.  I should’ve known that wouldn't work.  He knows me too well and is too stubborn to let this go now without some sort of an explanation._ Sighing and mustering up what was left of her waning courage, she finally looked directly at him and froze, momentarily stunned by the wealth of open concern displayed in his unwavering gaze.  

"I… umm…  I'm sorry."  She chewed on her lower lip for a moment, trying to figure out how little she could get away with admitting and still satisfy him _._ "There is something I should probably tell you… before we go any further."

 

Alec was relieved that he'd gotten through to her.  But instead of relaxing, she seemed to be getting even tenser and he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.  Releasing her hands, he bent down and picked up her discarded robe, holding it open for her and helping her put it on when she turned slightly away from him.  

 

Wrapping it carefully around her body and tying the sash, she turned back and stared up at him surprised.

 

“Figured you might be more comfortable talking like this.”  He smiled reassuringly and moved over to lean against the wall, giving her a bit more space.

 

“Thanks.”  She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and walked back toward the other side of the room, pacing at the end of her bed as she struggled to gather her thoughts.  Seeing her towel still laying on the ground, she absently picked it up and started playing with the fabric.  Casting the odd glance at him, she couldn’t help but notice how worried about her he seemed, and, remembering all the support and consideration he’d shown her, especially over the last six months, only made that seem stronger. 

 

Sadly, she began to realize that no matter how much she didn’t want to, she _needed_ to tell him everything.  As much for her own peace of mind as his.  Because this had been weighing heavily on her for years, and maybe if she told him about it, it would help ease some of the burden.  It’d worked when she told him about Ben and the Barrett’s after all.  He’d understood and hadn’t condemned her for any of the things she’d told him so far.  She could only hope he’d be the same with this.

 

Decision finally made, she came to a stop in front of him and sat back against the corner of the dresser, dropping the towel behind her and then hunching in on herself defensively, looking completely vulnerable.  “God, this is gonna be hard.”  He barely heard her whisper to herself.

 

Looking up at him, she managed to speak a bit louder, “I‘m not quite sure how to say what I need to say, so please, just bear with me?”

 

More than a little apprehensive now about what she was going to tell him, her fragile demeanour scraping over his nerves like nails on a blackboard, Alec nodded gravely.

 

“It’s just that I… well…  It has been a long time since I’ve been with a guy…  But it’s more than that too.”  She whispered hesitantly, looking down at her feet.  “I’ve… been around, quite a few times actually…  I really hate our feline DNA sometimes.”   

 

Max forced herself to look back up at him and hold his gaze.  “Well... with everything that happened with Jess a few months back, you have to know about heat, right?”

 

“Yeah.  All of us do.  All the X5s at least.  Manticore had a bitch of a time trying to control the girls when they started hitting their cycles and attempting to jump every male in their path.  And we weren’t much better – began acting like cavemen and beating the crap out of each other trying to prove our superiority and status to them.”  

 

“Luckily the trainers and guards managed to keep a leash on us.  Even though they had to rely heavily on tazers and solitary to do it.  But they did keep everyone from getting out of hand so I guess it was worth it.  And the Committee immediately had us yanked out of co-ed barracks and placed even stricter controls on fraternization while the scientists tried to figure out what was going on and how to fix it.  Unfortunately, they never did find a way to regulate heat that wouldn’t do us more harm than good.”  

 

His lips twisted wryly.  “So they fell back on the only other things available.  Sex-Ed became _the_ topic of the day for quite a while.  And they implemented regular hormone testing and lock-downs for the girls.”  Noticing the slightly wistful look taking over Max’s face, he paused and stared at her puzzled.

 

“I wish I’d had someone around to do that for me when I hit puberty.”  Her eyes filled with pain as she remembered the chain of events surrounding _that_ lovely milestone.  “As you already know my siblings weren’t around back then.  And I hadn’t had much luck with the whole foster parent dealio either, that’s why I ended up squatting in Griffith Park.  I’d been there for around 3 years at that point, just trying to stay under the radar.”

 

Nodding his confirmation, Alec’s eyes suddenly narrowed as he was forced to consider how she would have coped with heat on the outside.  The possibilities occurring to him, in connection with her current behaviour, making him increasingly uneasy.

 

Feeling the weight of his intent stare, and extremely anxious about how much of her soul she was about to lay bare before him, she reached up and released her hair, needing to do something, anything at this point, to distract herself for a minute.  Scrunching it up a bit and ruffling her fingers through it, she finally let the sassy curls tumble down around her shoulders and tossed the clip behind her on the dresser, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly to prepare herself. 

 

“So there I was, on my own and maybe around 12 and a half the first time it hit me.  Just a couple days before the Big Quake struck.”  Sighing heavily, she wrapped her arms around herself again and stared up at the blank canvas of the ceiling, trying to isolate herself from what she had to say.  

 

“I had _no_ idea what I wanted when I woke up that day, didn’t even _really_ know what sex was all about.  It’s not like I’d gotten the whole Sex Ed talk, since I’d been too young when I was with the Barrett’s and then what with living alone for so long, I hadn’t exactly been able to go to school to get it there either.  So all I really knew was that my body was suddenly burning up and restless, aching inside and out...”  

 

“I was still in the early stages, but I was already so uncomfortable I was going nuts, desperate to figure out what the hell was wrong with me ‘cause I had to make it _stop_.  But I kept coming up with nothin’.”  She shrugged helplessly as she glanced over at him.  “So I tried so hard to just ignore it and go about my normal routine, you know – lay low, pilfer a few supplies here and there, maybe lift a wallet or pull a little B &E to make a few bucks.  I figured whatever was wrong; it had to go away sooner or later, right?”  

 

Not bothering to wait for his nod, she continued, “But it was like someone flipped a switch inside of me or something, because all of a sudden I was noticing things that’d never mattered before.  There were all these really interesting musky scents in the air that kept turning my head, and so many guys all over the place.  I couldn’t remember ever seeing that many before.  And they were all so different, seemingly overnight, the way their muscles flexed when they moved kept on catching my eye.”  

 

“And of course, that’s when the real trouble began.”  Max sighed heavily, staring blindly out into the living room.  “Because while there were quite a few older teens that seemed instantly appealing to me with just that right blend of testosterone and muscles, none of them wanted anything to do with a barely developed little street rat like me.  And none of the guys my own age were grabbing my attention ‘cause they weren’t developed enough either.”   

 

Aggravated by the unfairness of it all, she shook her head angrily, her eyes starting to glisten with a hint of tears as she finally turned her head to meet his gaze full on.  “So, as more time passed, I became increasingly frustrated.  Found it harder and harder to stay grounded in even a semblance of reality.  And then it didn’t matter anymore, nothing did, ‘cause I ran into this fucking perv who suddenly became the sole focus of my existence.”  

 

“No.”  Alec whispered despairingly, his eyes filling with horror as he realised what must have happened, what she would have been helpless to prevent in that condition.  

 

And then she confirmed it, just staring at him sadly and nodding.  “On a normal day, I would have kicked him to the curb for even daring to _look_ at me, let alone touch me like that.”  

 

Her voice lowered to a bitter whisper as she addressed his chest, unable to hold his soulful gaze a moment longer.  “But it wasn’t a normal day.  I didn’t put up any resistance when he dragged me down a back alley and shoved me up against a wall.  Didn’t fight at all when he ripped my clothes off and forced himself inside me.”  Her face twisted with loathing as she admitted, “I let him do it.  Do me.”  

 

Too agitated to continue sitting still, she pushed off the dresser and started pacing again, rubbing her hands rapidly over her upper arms, suddenly feeling chilled.  “God!  And it’s so _stupid_ , but do you wanna know what really bothers me most about what happened that day?  It’s _not_ the actual assault itself.”  

 

She laughed as she continued to pace, the harsh sound utterly devoid of humour, and threw a hand up toward him as if to stop him from saying anything.  “Oh, don’t get me wrong – it took a long time to get over that.  Especially when shit like that started happening fairly regularly and I finally figured out why.”  A shudder rolled through her body, and she resolutely shook it off.  “But I could still deal, you know, at least with the physical part of it.  One more thing I never thought I’d thank Manticore for – the ability to bury your pain and keep functioning, no matter what’s happening to you.”  

 

She ran her hand back through her hair and massaged the nape of her neck, swallowing hard before continuing, her tone filled with self-disgust.  “So, no.  Despite what you might think, that wasn’t what bothered me most.  What did and still does, is the fact that there’s a part of me that actually _wanted_ him to do that to me and it _completely_ overrode the rest of who I am.”  

 

Stopping abruptly in the doorway, she stared at him again, her eyes burning with misery.  “‘Cause you know what Alec?  I didn’t just _let_ him fuck me.  No.  I egged him on!  _Begged_ him for it!  Even though it hurt like hell and I felt like I was being torn in two.”  

 

A choked sob escaped her as years and years of repressed tears started flooding her throat.  “It was like someone locked me up inside my own body.  I wanted to scream, to stop him, _kill_ _him_ for hurting me like that!  But I couldn’t do a goddamned thing, because the cat was in control, not me.”  

 

“And _she_ was loving every minute of it.  Couldn’t get enough of it.  She didn’t care that it hurt, didn’t care that I felt so sick and scared and dirty inside that I wanted to die.  All she cared about…”  She closed her eyes and covered her mouth with the back of her fingers for a moment, struggling to conquer the overwhelming urge to bury the most damning and loathsome truth of all.

 

Sucking in a breath through her nose, she opened her eyes again and forced herself to spit out, “…  All _I_ cared about was getting fucked.  Nothing else mattered to me at that moment.  Not who.  Not why.  Not how.”

 

She bit her bottom lip hard, to the point of drawing blood, and stared up at the ceiling again, frantically trying to curb the shuddering breaths and caustic tears brought on by reliving the agonizingly painful memory, her clenched fists trembling by her sides and chest aching with the effort of barricading everything inside again. 

 

Aching himself as he absorbed the raw unrelenting anguish radiating from her, as he sensed the tortured shell of that horrified young girl still trapped somewhere deep inside the resilient and amazingly courageous woman in front of him, Alec stepped away from the wall and opened his arms to her, silently offering whatever comfort he could provide.  Desperately praying that it would be enough and she’d be able to accept it from him. 

 

Barely catching the movement in her peripheral vision, Max tried to prepare herself to face him, dreading his reaction.  Scared to death of what she might find lurking in his eyes.  Would he pity her?  Or maybe look at her with contempt?  Disgust, even?  

 

She didn’t want to look, couldn’t handle the thought of seeing any of those emotions from him or cope with the possibility of his rejection either, let alone consider why his approval of her was suddenly of the utmost importance.  But she couldn’t put it off either.  She needed to know, to get it over with, so she could either breathe again or die inside.  Because not knowing was killing her just as surely.  

 

Slowly lowering her gaze to his, she sobbed with relief at what she found.  

 

Tears shining in his eyes.  

 

Vivid pain and absolute sorrow.  

 

Blinding affection and undeniable acceptance.  

 

All for her.

 

And then she couldn’t see anything anymore.  

 

Floodgates crumbling, she stumbled forward into his warm embrace, burying her face in the soft fabric partially covering his chest and bathing him with scalding tears that wouldn’t stop erupting from the seemingly bottomless pit of agony inside her.  Great wracking sobs ripping through the constrictive bands around her soul and jolting her slender frame so violently he thought she might shatter, her shaky fingers clutching convulsively at his waist for support.

 

Carefully wrapping his arms around her, his voice breaking with emotion as he shed tears of his own, Alec started crooning softly to her, over and over, not even registering what he was saying, just needing to ease her pain in any way possible.  “I’m so sorry, baby.  Just let it all out.  It’s gonna be alright, sweetie.  Shhhhh, it’s not your fault, honey.”  

 

Resting his cheek atop her head, he rubbed his hands soothingly up and down her back and rocked her gently in his arms.  Wishing, more than anything, that he could fix this, could somehow take away her pain and make everything all right for her again.  Her grief excruciatingly painful to witness as she wept inconsolably.    

 

After what felt like forever, the brutal tension finally began to drain from her body and she slowly started to relax against him, sobs easing off to ragged breaths, and massive tremors subsiding to occasional shivers. 

 

“Feel a bit better now?”  He finally asked huskily.

 

She slowly nodded against his chest, just breathing in his reassuringly familiar scent and shamelessly indulging in her need to feel the sheer strength of his presence sheltering her.  Stunned by the overwhelming sense of relief and release gradually stealing through her.  The sporadic tears she continued to shed, taking with them almost 10 years worth of pent-up heartache and pain.  And as those too finally eased, she pulled back slightly, only to stare abashedly at the sodden mess she’d made of his hoodie and realize her face probably looked no better.  

 

Self-consciously sliding her hands up to brush away the tears still lingering on her cheeks, she gratefully took the towel he snagged off the dresser for her, drying her face with it and then dabbing futilely at his chest and the hoodie, before giving it up as a hopeless gesture.  Tossing the towel aside, her fingers returned to pick fretfully at the damp material, until he sighed and quickly removed it to get rid of the distraction, bringing his hands back to rest gently on her hips.

 

“Sorry.”  She whispered and slowly raised her head to peek up at him, a bit of her normal spirit returning to her red-rimmed eyes as her fingers found a tentative new perch against the warm skin of his chest.  “I didn’t mean to fall apart like this on you.”

 

“You don’t have _anything_ to be sorry for.”  He spoke earnestly, placing a finger under her chin and tipping her face up a bit more so he could see her properly.  Sighing again when he saw a trace of self-loathing still lingering in her eyes.  “I know nothing I say is really going to make any of this better or any easier to deal with, but I’m gonna say something anyway because I think you need to hear it.”  

 

“You’ve done _nothing_ wrong Maxie.  You were only twelve.  Still just a kid.  A little girl.  You didn’t wake up that morning and _decide_ to go out and fuck that sick bastard.  And you _sure as hell_ didn’t _want or_ _choose_ to get raped either.”  He held her gaze firmly, determined to get his point across.  “Once you went into heat – without the benefit of all the external controls that Manticore provided for the rest of us – the outcome was already out of your hands.  None of what happened was your fault.” 

 

“If you want to hate or blame anyone for this, then blame Manticore.  It was their scientists that decided to tamper with our genetic structure.  They’re the ones that chose to give us the relatively large proportions of feline DNA.  And it’s that genetic coding that causes and governs our response to heat.  It’s instinct driven, pure and simple.  A _biological imperative_ to mate and breed that all the X5s unfortunately received. _You are not responsible for that_.  None of us are.”

 

He could see her struggling with it, conflict written plainly on her face.  She sighed heavily as she admitted, “I’ve been trying to convince myself of that for years, ever since I discovered it was heat.  And my head doesn’t have near as much of a problem with it...  But my heart?”  She shook her head sadly.

 

Eyes glazing over a bit, she spoke softly, a distant note taking over her voice.  “After…  I remember sitting in that alley for the longest time, just staring at the wall where it happened.  I couldn’t move, couldn’t think.  I couldn’t even cry.  I was so _lost_.  I just couldn’t understand why I’d done it, why I let him do that to me.  I should have fought, done something, _anything_ to stop him.  I could have killed him a hundred different ways.  Manticore saw to that!  But I didn’t.  I didn’t lift a finger to try and stop him.  And realizing that damn near killed me...”  

 

Her voice broke, and she closed her eyes for a moment until she felt able to continue.  “When I finally managed to pull myself together enough to stumble out of there, an older lady walking by took one look at how messed up I was, with my torn clothes and all the blood on my legs... and immediately hailed a cab to take me to a local women’s shelter.”  

 

Blinking a few times, she focussed her gaze on his once more, noticing the hint of rage on her behalf lurking there and feeling a bit better for it.  “A nurse there helped me get cleaned up.  Gave me the morning after pill and some fresh clothes and tried to talk to me about what happened.  She told me that I’d probably been given one of the date-rape drugs that were still common back then – and that it wasn’t my fault.”  

 

“I was _so_ relieved to have something to blame other than myself, that I jumped all over the excuse.  I needed to believe it.  Wanted to so badly.”  She tilted her head to the side, a sad smile barely lifting the corner of her mouth.  “It even kept me going for a while, despite all the nightmares and fear haunting me.”  

 

“It was like being back at the Barrett’s all over again though.  Only worse.  I was on a non-stop rollercoaster of fear and dread.  _Always_ keeping an eye on everyone and everything around me for potential threats.  Never _really_ sleeping.  Because I finally _knew_ then, what’d actually been happening to Lucy all that time.  What that... look on her face was all about...  ‘cause it was the same one that kept staring back at me from every mirror and pane of glass I came across.  ‘Cause I couldn’t stop worrying...  What if it happens again?”

 

“And when I woke up to that same burning ‘itch’ about four and a half months later...”  She shook her head and swallowed hard before continuing.  “I lost the one hope that’d been holding me together.  Once, I could easily blame on drugs, but twice?  That was pretty much impossible since I’d become extremely vigilant about everything I ate and drank.”  

 

“And by the time my third cycle rolled around?  Well I knew for sure then, that it _was_ my fault.  That there was something seriously wrong with me.  I managed to sneak into a boarded up library to do some research, and that’s when I finally figured out it had to be heat.”  She sighed heavily, a stray tear sliding down her cheek, and she leaned into his hand when he reached up to gently brush it away with his thumb.  

 

“It hit me hard, realizing I was going to have to go through _that_ … over and over again for the rest of my life.  I figured I was being punished.  Whether it was for all the shitty things I’d done at Manticore, or escaping, or not saving Lucy when I had the chance...  I didn’t really know, or even care by that point.”  

 

“The only thing that really mattered, was that I was absolutely alone.  I had no family, and no friends.  There was _nobody_ to lean on but myself, and I was collapsing under the weight of it all.”  She peered up at him, her eyes haunted as a few more tears fell.  “I was _so scared_ and _so angry_ , _all the time_ , with everyone and everything, but especially myself.  Because I couldn’t even trust myself!  I _was_ the problem!” 

 

“I ended up going off the deep end for quite a while, pulling increasingly difficult and dangerous B&Es and deliberately pissing off and thrashing every single asshole I came across.  Drug dealers, pimps, gang members.  Made no difference, ‘cause I just didn’t care anymore if I lived or died.”

 

“And then I finally caught a break.”  She smiled, genuinely smiled at him, albeit a small watery one, and Alec started to breathe easier at the sight of it.  “The head of one of the gangs – probably one of the only honourable ones in LA – ended up taking me under his wing.  He’d seen my potential for major heists and recruited me, deliberately challenged me actually.  Said I could do so much better with just a little more training.”

 

“Moody.”  Alec murmured, suddenly picking up the thread from some of the stories she’d told him before about her past.

 

She nodded.  “Yeah.  It took a while for me to be able to trust him, but he was straight up, wouldn’t put up with any shit among his crew and he fiercely protected everyone in the Clan.  They protected each other too, like a real family is supposed to.”  A bit of a smirk crossed her lips at this, knowing how he’d take it, but then she shrugged.  

 

“So for the first time in what felt like forever, I suddenly had people who cared about me and would help watch my back.  They pulled me out of the black hole I’d crawled into.  And while I still had to deal with the rest of the shit I was going through, at least I wasn’t completely alone anymore, which made it bearable.”

 

Max finally paused for a minute to gather her thoughts, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly before continuing, "Which I guess pretty much leaves me to explain why I started talking about all of this to begin with.  The reason I was so nervous earlier.”

 

“Needless to say, I _hate_ heat and I’ve fought it as much as I could over the years.  It’s awful and always makes me feel so helpless.  Being out of control – unable to focus on anything but sex, and so desperate for a man that almost any cock will do."  She snorted; her lips lifting in a perverted caricature of a smile that felt like a knife to Alec’s gut.  "It's always about fucking.  And nothing else."  

 

Shuddering, she stared blankly over his shoulder.  "And after, well, it's all so hazy, so hard to remember, which is a small blessing I’ve been _extremely_ thankful for.  I’m not completely sure as to why or how, but after the first few times, I began blacking out on most of what happens when I actually give in to it.  If I had to guess I’d say it’s most likely my brain’s idea of self-preservation since I probably would’ve ended it long ago if that hadn’t been the case.”  She sighed.  “But even with that, I still end up feeling so… used.  Dirty.  I've never gotten any kicks out of it."  

Alec shook his head grimly at the bleak picture she was painting, realizing where she was going with this.  He honestly couldn’t say he was surprised considering how traumatized she’d been at such a young age.  

 

"And with all those absolutely shitty encounters to go by, well, I've never been interested in... experimenting when I wasn't in heat."  She studied his face, seeing the reluctant awareness dawning in his eyes.  

 

He stared at her, saddened as he forced himself to accept it and began to place everything he knew about her into the proper perspective.  So much of her standoffish behaviour over the time he’d known her making that much more sense.  Her über-bitch persona most likely a defence mechanism she’d put in place to keep guys from getting too close to her.  And it certainly explained the way she’d reacted when he’d introduced himself as her breeding partner.  “So you've never been with a guy just because you wanted to.  Never had a guy make love to you?"  

 

“When, Alec?"  She cocked her head at him, an incredulous look on her face.  "I’ve been on the run since I was 9 - practically my whole life it seems.  Always hiding, wary of everybody, moving on whenever things got too intense.  My life was just too dangerous with Manticore hanging over my head.”

 

“I never had the luxury or inclination to get too close to anyone when I was younger, especially after all the shit with Barrett, and by the time I did, it was already too late.  I didn’t want men anywhere near me, except in the most platonic of ways.  And even then, for the longest time, it was all I could do not to snap and go postal whenever a guy even _accidentally_ touched me.”  

 

She shook her head sadly.  “And it’s not like guys haven’t tried to pursue me over the years, but all they’ve ever been interested in was sex.  It was never really about _me_ , Alec.  I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been propositioned and then called a frigid little bitch, or worse, because I turned them down.  But I just couldn’t bear to have their hands on me.  It felt so wrong, made me feel sick.”  

 

“But what about Logan?"  He studied her face carefully.  "You spent all that time with him and never did anything, even though you both cared about each other.  Why didn’t you get together with him?”

 

“Part of it was that it was never the right time."  She raised a hand to stop him when he opened his mouth.  "And I know that I've said that before, but it's true.  First we were business partners of sorts doing the whole ‘quid pro quo’ thing, and eventually friends, after I started to trust him a bit.”

 

“Although I don’t think that’s even the right term to describe it, because it’s not like he ever actually wanted to hang with me and mine.  Or was ever comfortable doing so.”  She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow at him.  “I mean, really?  Him constantly preaching to Sketchy or OC about the merits of pre-pulse wine or the plight of the downtrodden?  That’d go over well.  Oh!  Or me, hobnobbing with the social elite and discussing the highlights of my life as a top secret super-soldier/bike messenger?  Not bloody likely.”

 

Alec couldn’t help but laugh, although he quickly repressed it with an apologetic grin.

 

“And given a choice between me and Eyes Only?  It was never a contest.  At least not at first.  His work was _always_ more important.  It was all he could talk about.  He dumped semi-romantic plans with me several times when a lead came up on one of his cases.  One time, he even took me away for what was _supposed_ to be a relaxing getaway weekend.  A vacation.  _That_ ended up being his clever new terminology for a reconnaissance mission.”  

 

“You’re kidding me, right?”  When she shook her head, Alec sighed sadly, “No, I guess you’re not.  For all his supposed intelligence, the man’s a fuckin’ idiot.  What the hell was he thinking to give up time with you for work?”

 

She smiled at him, her eyes expressing her appreciation for the compliment.  “I don’t know, but just as the icing on the cake, we also had a ton of misunderstandings about all sorts of things - my guilt over his accident, his hang-ups over his paralysis, my siblings, Manticore.  And my oh-so-lovely feline DNA had to rear its ugly head too of course.  On the one-year anniversary of the day we met, no less.”  

 

Catching his sympathetic wince, she muttered, “Yeah.  Trying to explain that to him was a _real_ picnic.  Especially since I ended up avoiding his ‘anniversary dinner’ like the plague and accidently fucked another guy instead that night.”  She rolled her eyes in disgust.  “So you see, there really _was_ a reason I always said it was never the right time.”

 

“Yeah, I can see that.”  Then he looked at her curiously, “You said that was only part of it though.  So what’s the other part?”  

 

A hint of embarrassment crept into her voice and she looked away before mumbling, “Well, while I didn’t get creeped out when he touched me, it wasn’t like it felt absolutely wonderful either.  More like I had to get used to it, see if I could tolerate it.  But it was better than anything else I’d experienced to that point, so for the longest time, I figured that had to mean something.” 

 

“I feel like such a fool, thinking back on it now though.”  Max closed her eyes and sighed, then opened them again as she tried to explain.  “But he really drew me in.  He was the first guy I’d ever met that actually seemed interested in _me_ and acknowledged the fact that I had a brain and opinions to go with it.  He actually talked to me and not my breasts.  Then there’s the fact that he never seriously pushed to start anything with me sexually.  And since I wasn’t comfortable with that idea anyway, it was more than fine with me.  Made me feel safer around him.”

 

“It wasn’t until about a month or so before we took out the DNA labs that things started to click for us, and he began showing a real interest in pursuing something more than casual flirtation.  And I felt comfortable enough with him by that point that I started to think maybe it might be okay to take that next step.  But then I got recaptured by Manticore of course and the virus came in to play.”  

 

She looked back up at him, an ironic smile lighting up her face.  "And I never thought I'd ever say this, but… thanks… for giving me a reason to forfeit the cure.  You stopped me from making one of the biggest mistakes of my life.”  

 

She shook her head, disgusted by her own stupidity.  “You were right all along.  I never belonged with Logan.  While he said he loved me, he certainly never acted like it.  He was _always_ putting me in harm’s way, just like he did with Seth, and I'm lucky I didn't get killed too.  Lucky you were there to have my back." 

 

Alec nodded slowly, just trying to wrap his head around everything she’d told him.  He still couldn't quite believe any of this was happening.  It was almost surreal.  

 

After a minute or two, he finally asked, "So where does this leave us and what we were doing before?  The last thing I ever wanna do is hurt you, Maxie.  You mean too much to me.  I don't want you to feel like I’m forcing you into this, or that you have to go through with it, ‘cause you don’t."

 

"I know Alec, and you're not."  She hurried to reassure him, her hands clutching at his waist as he moved to step back from her.  

 

She took a deep breath and looked up at him shyly, forcing out the last of her confession.  "I _want_ to do this with you.  I want to find out what all the fuss is about; especially if what you did earlier is any indication.  Because when _you_ touch me, it feels good – _I_ feel good – and that’s never happened before."  

 

She blushed, seeing the almost immediate relief and amazement flaring in his eyes.  "And yeah, I _am_ pretty nervous, but it’s not of _you_ , just all the unknowns.  Part of it before, well...”  Her head ducked down for a moment, and then she peered up through her lashes at him.  “I was worried that you’d expect a lot from me and end up being disappointed." 

 

"You could never disappoint me, Max."  His husky whisper swept through her, giving her the courage to continue.

 

"I'm sorry for tearing into you earlier, putting you down.  You obviously know what you’re doing.”  She licked her lips, adding, "But I don't, except for what I've picked up on second hand through friends, and books and movies and stuff."  Then she looked back up and uttered two small words that would change Alec's life forever.  

 

"Teach me?"

 

He'd never heard anything more arousing in his life.  Never had such a jolt of primitive awareness run through his body.  The knowledge that he’d be the one to introduce her to passion, heady.  A shiver ran down his spine, his arousal sparking back to life.  

 

_She's going to kill me before we're done.  But it'll be worth it._

Studying her carefully, noting her serious expression, he asked one last time.  "You're sure about this?  About me?"  

 

She nodded, something indefinable shining in her eyes.  “There’s no one I trust more.”

 

His heart leapt painfully in his chest _.  She trusts me - with something monumentally important and personal.  Even if she doesn’t love me, it’s a hell of a lot more than I had before.  And I can work with this, if she’ll let me.  Maybe turn it into something more over time._

He took a deep breath and smiled gently at her, trying to calm his racing heart.  “Okay then."  His mind was spinning, trying to figure out the best way to ease her into this without triggering any bad memories, when he suddenly remembered something else.  

 

“Hold that thought a sec.”  Releasing her, he turned and reached over to open the top right hand drawer of the dresser, digging in behind his underwear and pulling out a box.  Wincing as he realized how light it felt, he opened it up and took a look inside.  “Damn.”  He breathed out.

 

Feeling her curious eyes on him, he slowly pulled out the single condom packet left inside and showed it to her with a wry smile.  “It’s been quite a while since I’ve been into these, so I didn’t realize I was almost out.  And what I had in mind for you tonight was definitely gonna involve much more than this.”  He sighed and then smiled resignedly as he tossed the empty box onto the dresser.  “And since these are damn near harder to get than gold around here now, guess I’m just gonna have to be a lot more creative.”

 

“Oh.”  Max blushed as she grasped what he was so carefully saying.  Then thought aloud, looking a bit confused and disappointed.  “But, didn’t Dix say we couldn’t get…”  As Alec’s gaze swung back to hers and she realized what she’d started to blurt out, she felt heat creeping even higher on her cheeks.

 

Thinking for a second and figuring out what she’d probably been about to say, he nodded slowly and spared her from having to finish her sentence.  “That file he recovered last month on the X-5 breeding program results?  Yeah, even with 84 couples involved on a daily basis, there weren’t any successful conceptions outside of heat in over 3 months.  Doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen, but the odds have got to be astronomically low.  And it’s not like our natural immunity levels wouldn’t take care of any other issues.”

 

Alec studied her for a moment, not wanting to embarrass her further but needing to be absolutely clear, “So were you trying to say you’d be okay with _not_ using condoms since that’s the case?”

 

Having a hard time meeting his eyes, she managed to nod, “With how good you made me feel earlier, I was kinda looking forward to… the full deal tonight… but if you don’t want… …”

 

“Oh, I _definitely_ want, especially since I was looking forward to the full deal too.”  He tossed the package on to the dresser and then cupped her face in his hands, tilting it up toward his.  “And since that’s settled, there’s only one more thing I need from you before we get started – a promise.”

 

When she stared up at him puzzled, he continued, “I want to make sure you enjoy yourself tonight.  But I need to know that you’ll tell me right away if I do _anything_ that makes you feel uncomfortable, so I can fix it and try something else.  Okay?”

 

And seeing how concerned he looked at even the possibility of upsetting or hurting her, quashed any lingering reservations she might have had.  She nodded and smiled softly, “I promise.”

 

Gently brushing his thumb over her lips, a sexy grin lifted his when he elicited a shiver from her.  "Then just try to relax, Maxie.  And remember this is supposed to be fun.  To feel good.  There’s no rush.”  He stared deep into her eyes, letting his desire for her shine through as his head tilted down toward hers.  “So why don't we start with kissing?”

 

Bracing her hands tentatively on his shoulders, she wet her lips, her eyes darting down to his lips and fluttering shut as he drew nearer.  Seeing her reaction, his smile grew and he altered course slightly.  The warm velvet of his lips laying a tantalizing trail of butterfly kisses as they drifted tenderly over her forehead and eyelids, sweeping across her cheeks and along her jaw line, until finally, he laid claim to her mouth.  

 

His hands framed her face, fanning softly through her curls, the pads of his fingers glancing over her neck and barcode as his lips caressed hers.  They were soft and moist, trembling beneath his.  Keeping the pressure light at first, he sampled her, his lips brushing back and forth against hers, tempting her until she began to respond.  Her right hand creeping up to tangle in the hair at the back of his neck as her lips started moving against his and she stepped in a bit closer to him.  

 

Smiling against her lips, he finally allowed himself to deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping out to trace her lips, encouraging her to open up to him.  And she did without protest, her mouth parting on a gentle appreciative sigh, her own tongue cautiously moving to meet his as her head instinctively tilted back a bit to give him better access.  He took his time, letting his tongue slide leisurely over hers and across her lips, licking into her as he searched for and found the sweet honey hidden in the depths of her mouth.  

 

He kissed the way she’d always dreamed of being kissed, drinking her in slowly as if he could never get his fill.  As if tasting her was more important than his next breath of air.  His deft hands sliding easily down the length of her spine as he stole her breath, his fingertips stroking little circles over the small of her back and the curve of her hips.  His unhurried movements unbelievably arousing as the satin of her robe grazed seductively over her skin.

 

Max moaned as his tongue danced and mated with hers.  It was slick and hot, their mouths fitting together seamlessly as if made for each other.  His kisses slowly intensifying, going on and on, her knees going weak, her other hand sliding up around his neck as she clung to him for support. 

 

His hands curled around her hips and drew her in even closer as he continued kissing her senseless, enfolding her in his arms so that her breasts brushed against his chest through the slippery fabric of her robe.  His fingers running lightly up and down her spine, his slightly ticklish touch making her arch up into him. 

 

She gasped into his mouth at the wonderfully pleasurable sensation and pressed harder against him, rubbing her breasts against him again.  And then again.  _That feels so good._ Her lips flirting with his, her breathing becoming more and more erratic as her excitement multiplied.  She thought she heard Alec groan, but couldn’t be sure whether the sound came from him or her, she was too far gone, lost in the taste and feel of him against her.  

 

Alec swallowed her moans; delighted by the hungry response he was getting from her.  Desperately trying to rein in his own excitement, he pulled back for a moment, looking down at her.  She was trembling in his arms, lips swollen from his kisses, eyelids fluttering, little mewling cries leaving her throat in disappointment.  Her eyes opened slowly and met his beneath heavy lids and thick lashes, so dilated with pleasure they were almost black.  

 

He closed his eyes, taking in several deep breaths in an effort to regain control.  It didn’t help.  The smell of her arousal, their arousal, wafted over him, only increasing his desire.  And then even breathing was shot to hell, when he felt her hands slide down from around his neck, fingers deliberately grazing along his collarbone and across his pecs in what could only be the start of a thorough investigation of his body. 

 

Taking advantage of his preoccupation, her curiosity finally getting the better of her, her hands began moving almost of their own volition, slowly exploring the hard planes of his chest and shoulders.  Her thumbs stroking down along his sternum while her fingers splayed wide to take in as much of his skin as possible, palms brushing his erect nipples on the way down, fingers skimming over them and lingering there for a minute before trailing down to discover his abs.

 

She'd been aching to touch him for so long, yearning to stroke her fingers over his heated flesh, the glimpses and small touches she'd had over the past several months not coming anywhere close to this.  He was fascinating, lean but solid, his skin taut and sleek, radiating exquisite warmth, his muscles flexing beneath her touch. 

 

Drawing in a long, calming breath to bolster her nerves, Max watched him carefully, seeing his jaw tense up and feeling the ragged breaths leaving his body as he leaned into her touch.  His head tipping back, the muscles of his neck beckoning her.  Stretching up, she tentatively placed her lips on him, kissing along his jawbone and down the cords of his neck, dragging a long, drawn out moan from him.  

 

Her mouth slowly moved down the middle of his chest, branching off to follow the earlier path of her fingers and pausing near his nipple when a low growl emerged from his lips.  She peeked up at him, amazed to find him staring hungrily down at her.  _Should I?_   

 

Alec nodded slightly in encouragement; reading the question in her eyes and letting her see the need in his.  

 

Licking her lips, she kissed his nipple, and then drew it into her mouth, flicking her tongue over it and laving it.  

 

He groaned, the sound rumbling from deep within his chest, his fingers coming up to comb through her hair, brushing it back from her face and holding her lightly to him.  "God that feels good, Maxie."  His voice was husky and deep, sensual, his obvious pleasure setting off a reaction deep inside her.

 

_Why was I so worried about this?  Seems like all I have to do is follow my natural impulses._ A bit more confident now, she let her fingers trace the muscles adorning his abdomen and sweep around to explore his back as she moved toward his other nipple.  The slight sweat from his exertions earlier in the day giving his skin a salty taste that she couldn’t get enough of, her lips roaming hungrily over him.  

 

She nuzzled her nose into his chest, breathing in heavily, the heady scent of his arousal blending with the musky aroma of pure alpha male and tantalizing her beyond reason.  Desire curled through her, her lower body tightening, starting to ache as moisture beaded inside her.  

 

Easing her hands further down along the indent of his spine, she found the waistband of his jeans, her slender fingers slipping under the worn denim to caress the small of his back.  Lingering there when he inhaled shakily and shivered against her, his hands pulling her closer and sliding down to rub her back.  

 

Smiling jubilantly around his nipple at his reaction, she started moving her right hand forward, tickling along the sensitive skin at his waist.  Her fingers pausing for a moment to swirl around his belly button before slipping lower to cup him through his jeans, slowly rubbing over the hot, hard length of him she could feel pushing insistently forward. 

 

“Christ!”  Alec’s hips jerked hard against her hand and his whole body tensed, eyes on fire as he stared down at her.  Sucking in a lung full of air, he snagged her hand away quickly.

 

Max immediately pulled her head back to look at him, startled by his strangled shout.  

 

Noticing the worry in her eyes, he groaned as he took a small step back and brought her hand up to his lips, brushing a kiss across her knuckles.  “You didn't do anything wrong.  Exactly the opposite in fact.  Unfortunately, I’m too wound up right now to be able to appreciate it.”  

 

He grinned sexily at her, trying to get her to see the humour in the situation as he squeezed her hand lightly and admitted.  “It’s been almost seven months since I’ve been with anyone, Max.  So if you start touching me down there, I’m likely to lose it, way too quickly.  And I don’t think either one of us really wants that.  So let’s save the rest of your exploring for later.  Okay?”      

 

She nodded, relieved, a small smile of her own lifting her lips.  _He really hasn’t been with anybody in that long?_ She tried not to get too elated by the prospect _.  It doesn’t necessarily mean anything.  But if he isn’t catting around like he used to, like I thought he might have been discretely doing, then maybe…_

 

She was distracted from her thoughts when he released her hand and slowly reached for the tie of her robe, his eyes hot and hungry as they locked on hers.  “Would it be alright if I took this off?”

 

Feeling like a ton of butterflies were taking flight in her stomach, she bit her lower lip and nodded, watching his eyes drop and sensing his hands moving at her waist.  Holding her breath, she felt the knot slide loose and the silky folds gape open, barely held in place over her breasts.  

 

Alec slipped his hands inside and stroked her abdomen with the knuckles of his fingers for a minute before ever so slowly trailing them up between her breasts.  Catching the loose fabric, he eased it over her shoulders and arms all the way down past the insides of her wrists and off.  His fingertips grazing lightly over her skin the entire time, unleashing a wave of goosebumps as a shiver swept over her entire body, her nipples tightening further into hard buds.

 

She watched his eyes darken instantaneously with pleasure, could feel them intently caressing every inch of her, taking her in seemingly down to her very soul, before he met her gaze once more.  His whispered, “God, you are _so_ beautiful, Maxie,” spoken so reverently, so absolute in his belief, that it took her breath away and made her feel it too, really believe it for the first time in her life.  Making her feel like she could fly, a sexy little smile lighting up her face as she stared back at him.  

 

Moving ever so slowly, his hands glided back up the front of her body to cup her breasts, thumbs grazing back and forth over the tips as he leant in and swept her up into an extremely intimate kiss.  His tongue twining with hers, breath intermingling, putting his heart and soul into it as he tried to show her just how special she was.

 

His lips and tongue eventually gliding down along her jaw and the side of her neck as he bent further and further down, mouthing her collarbone and nuzzling the inside curves of her breasts.  Breathing out across one of her nipples before he finally captured it in his mouth, applying a gentle suction that had her gasping for air and arching up into him, his free hand sliding around her to help support her back.  

 

Her hands came up to comb through his hair, holding him to her as she moaned raggedly, the feel of his tongue curling around her and his teeth nipping lightly at her nipple driving her almost out of her head.  She writhed against him, unable to keep still, crying out his name and, “more... please.” 

 

Smiling devilishly around her nipple, he gave it a final lick and released it, sliding his lips over her flesh to capture the other one and give it the same treatment.  

 

She slid a hand down his neck and around his shoulders for balance as her legs started to shake under her, feeling his muscles flex under her fingers as he slipped his other hand down around her side and cupped her ass, lifting her up against him, her legs wrapping instinctively around his waist.  The movement causing the tip of his arousal to grind directly against her mound, wringing a startled cry from her lips as her head fell back.  

 

She pushed her hips against him as he straightened, the worn denim and stiffness underneath creating a delicious friction, enticing her to rub against him as he turned and quickly walked around the end of the bed. 

 

He groaned, one hand sliding up to cup her head as he lowered her gently onto the mattress.  Standing back up, he let his eyes roam over her, carefully observing her for any signs of hidden tension.  More than pleased when he noted the way she squirmed restlessly, her eyes lingering on his body and following his hands as they moved down to remove his jeans. 

 

Her eyes widened as he undid the buttons on his Levi’s, easing them open and down his hips revealing…  _No underwear.  And oh… my…  God…_  “I guess you really do have a reason to be cocky.”  It slipped out before she could censor herself, an immediate blush covering her chest and face as she realised what she said.

 

Kicking them off, he smirked and knelt down on the bed, slowly stretching out over her, easing into the cradle of her thighs and holding himself up on his elbows.  He whispered against her ear.  “Just wait.  You’ll love what I can do with it too.”  If anything her blush deepened, something he thought would be impossible.  Grinning like an idiot, he murmured, “Man, I love teasing you.  That’s a lovely shade of red on you.”  

 

A burst of laughter involuntarily escaped her lips at the look on his face and she swatted half-heartedly at his shoulder.  “Knew I should have named you Dick.”  

 

He joined in her laughter, leaning his forehead against hers for a moment.  “How did I know you were gonna say that?” 

 

Max was suddenly struck dumb by the situation she found herself in.  _I’m lying here naked, in my bed with Alec; about to do what will undoubtedly be all sorts of wicked things…  And I’m not freaking out or tense.  We’re just laughing and holding one another.  Completely relaxed.  The way it should be._

_And it’s so easy - no big drama like there would have been with Logan.  Just us joking around as if we don’t have a care in the world.  As if we aren’t in the middle of starting something completely earth shattering.  At least for me._   

 

Her breath caught in her chest as she stared up at him, abruptly realising something that should have been painfully obvious much sooner than this.  

 

_I love him._ Really _love him._   

 

Alec didn’t notice her sudden quietness, as he became preoccupied with exploring her.  Sliding his lips down the side of her neck and trailing hot, wet kisses to the base of her throat.  Nibbling at the junction of her neck and shoulders and effectively recapturing her full attention as the sensation caused a frisson of awareness to jolt through her.  Her hands creeping over his shoulders and up into his hair, cradling him to her as he slipped further down, blazing a path between her breasts and admiring the supple flesh pressed against him.  

 

“You’ve been driving me crazy, you know.  With your scent.”  He inhaled deeply as he nuzzled her.  

 

“Lush, creamy vanilla.”  His fingers grazed a lazy trail up her side, gradually coming together to cup a breast for his appraisal.  

 

“Sweet... succulent... cherries...”  Breathing the words out over her nipple, his tongue darted out to tease her with little licks around her areola.  

 

“And then there’s you.  Pure, natural you.  This incredibly sexy blend of sugar... and spice... and _everything_ nice.”  His husky appreciative drawl curled around her senses, as he drew her into his mouth, grazing her sensitive flesh with his teeth and then soothing her with gentle licks and soft, steady suction.

 

Max arched up into him, her thighs spreading further apart, one leg wrapping around his waist as she tried to get closer to him, feeling him pulse against her inner thigh.  “Oh...” she cried out, licking her lips as a fresh shivery burst of heat ignited in her abdomen.

 

He slowly moved to her other breast, smoothing his lips over her, shifting his weight and freeing up his other hand, running it lightly over her skin, exploring her curves and worshiping her body.  Eventually discovering an extremely receptive area along her ribcage that made her shudder and moan, before stroking the length of leg wrapped around him.  

 

The need to taste her, taste all of her, soon became impossible to ignore.  Sliding out from under her leg, he moved down her body to kneel at the foot of the bed.  Max propped herself up on her elbows as he eased her legs further apart and began kissing and nibbling along an invisible trail up them starting at her ankles.

 

“Alec?  What are you…”  Her voice trailed off as she eyed him uncertainly, shivering as he steadily made his way up past her knees and along her inner thighs

 

Her confusion made it plain exactly how limited her previous experiences had been - a tragedy he was eager to remedy.  Smiling with anticipation, he leaned up to kiss her gently on the lips and then eased her back down on the bed, whispering, “This is just one of the many different ways of giving and receiving pleasure that I want you to experience tonight.”  

 

He bent down to her nipples once more, sucking one in deeply for several moments before gradually moving lower again, dragging his lips over her skin, kissing her belly button, her stomach, and dipping lower to nuzzle through the dark curls adorning her mound.  He found the delicate nub of her sex and took it into his mouth, sucking gently on it.

 

“Dear God!”  She gasped, taken aback by the unspeakably intimate caress but unable to prevent herself from arching up into it.  Her fingers finally digging into his hair and dragging him away from her, but he didn’t go far, holding her hips steady with his hands as he looked up to check her reaction.  

 

“Easy.  Calm down.”  Seeing what appeared to be only shock and embarrassment in her wide eyes, he still asked, “Did I hurt you?”

 

Slowly, she shook her head, “No...  It’s just...”  A bit too flustered to explain properly, she shrugged helplessly. 

 

Reassured, he murmured, “I know this is new to you and the idea of me doing this probably seems really strange, but I _want_ to do it.”  He held her gaze, letting her see how sincere he was.  “You are absolutely gorgeous, inside and out, and there’s not a single part of you that I don’t want to explore.  I want to find out what makes you feel good, and what makes you shiver.  And what’s gonna make you moan and come apart in my arms.”

 

“So just trust me.  Please?”  His eyes were flashing with desire, intensely green as they shone up at her, pleading for her consent.  “I’ve been dying to taste you, Maxie.  And I really think you’ll love this if you give it a chance.  But if you don’t after a minute or two, then we’ll try something else.  I promise.”  

 

Nibbling on her lower lip and taking the proverbial leap of faith, she slowly eased her death grip on his hair and tried to relax.

 

He took the opportunity and ran with it.  Easing her into it, he slid his lips across her abdomen and hipbones, working his way meticulously down again.  He began his magic, licking her lightly at first, kissing her, sucking her in between his lips and nibbling on her tender bud.  Time seeming to stand still as he immersed himself in her honeyed sweetness, in her intoxicating scent.  Inordinately gratified as he felt the tension in her body skyrocketing with every move he made and heard the little gasping cries he wrung from her as he introduced her to a new sensation or slightly different touch.

 

Max thought she would die the pleasure was so intense, felt like she was drowning in it, being sucked under by the pure bliss pulsing through her veins.  She could feel her body tightening, tendrils of awareness shooting through her as she felt his fingers stroking over her and in her, sliding easily through the moist heat she was producing.  His lips, his tongue caressing her intimately, erotically, and she gave herself over to it.  To him.  

 

She felt wild and free, alive as never before.  Finally starting to accept that she didn’t need to hide or feel ashamed of her own body anymore.  That this was good.  Right.  Her stomach quivering, the muscles in her thighs tensing, her hips arching up uncontrollably toward his mouth of their own accord, trying to get closer to him, to ease the delicious tension coiling tighter and tighter, to … “Alec!”

 

Not satisfied yet by any means, he continued his movements even after he felt her climax around his tongue, pushing her through it and building her up even more, his eyes alive with something primitive and possessive as he glanced up and watched her.  Her face lit up in ecstasy, her lusciously full lips gasping for air around his name, her whole body shivering with reaction as her fingers twisted gently in his hair.  

 

After several more minutes of exquisite torment for them both, he slid his lips back up over her body, sensing she was getting close to the edge again and needing to be inside her this time when she came.  Crawling little by little up over her, he finally reached her mouth and captured it, plundering her with hot, wet-tongued kisses over and over again.  Deep, erotic kisses that pushed them both over the edge.  

 

She could taste herself in his mouth and was stunned by the rush of excitement it aroused in her.  Tilting her head away from him, she clutched at her pillow with both hands in an attempt to regain some sanity.  But promptly lost it again when he kissed the side of her neck instead; licking over her jugular and nibbling along her jaw line before capturing her lips once more.  His tongue fencing and tangling with hers, mating perfectly as his fingers meshed with hers beside her head.  

 

Intense desire gripped her body and soul, and she gasped against his lips, struggling to breathe, to remember her own name in the midst of the tempest raging through her.  “God.  Alec.  Can’t …  Need …”

 

“I know, baby.  Me too.  Me too.”  He said between wild, drugging kisses.  

 

He nudged her thighs farther apart, positioning himself carefully, his whole body tightening further as he brushed against her moist heat, coating the tip of his shaft with her juices.  “Look at me.”  He groaned as her hips arched up against him, almost capturing him.  He nipped at her lips, urgently repeating his request.  “Please, look at me Maxie.”  

 

Her eyes opened and met his dazedly, raw need shimmering in them.  A growl left his throat involuntarily, and he watched her carefully for any sign of discomfort as he moved his hips, pushing his shaft slowly inside her, feeling her clench around him, her eyes glazing over with surprised pleasure as she cried out his name, warm velvet enveloping him tightly.

 

“Sweet Jesus.”  He stopped when he was buried to the hilt, giving them both a moment to adjust, overwhelmed by the absolute rightness of the moment.  Certain, as he’d never been before, that he’d found the elusive and mysterious goal he’d been subconsciously searching for his entire life.  She was the one, and he was finally home. 

 

Max clenched his fingers in hers, feeling her body stretch around him painlessly, feeling him gradually press deeper and deeper, her body accepting him easily, willingly.  His shaft pulsing and throbbing inside her, filling the aching void she’d been carrying around her whole life.  She’d never felt this complete.  Had never imagined it could ever feel this good.  She whimpered his name and stretched her head up, covering his mouth with kisses as she continued to hold his gaze through half-lidded eyes.

 

After a long, endless minute, he began to move, taking the time to ensure her comfort.  Carefully easing out and then filling her, his body gliding fluidly against hers, effortlessly pulling out and sliding back in, over and over again, the world around them fading away until the only thing left was them and the vast sea of pleasure they were floating in.  Time ceasing to exist as his tongue tangled with hers just as intimately as his body was.  

 

Gradually finding his rhythm, she met each one of his strokes, her heartbeat quickening and matching his.  She was wet and warm, so tight around him, her nipples hard buds against his chest, brushing against him with every stroke of his body.  His “God, you feel so good, Maxie,” breathed out across her lips as his gaze stayed locked with hers. 

 

“Mmm.”  She mumbled incoherently, starting to move faster, harder against him as she felt the tension inside her building now at a dizzying pace, her body eager to take flight again.  More than ready to plummet from the lofty peak she suddenly found herself on.  “Al…ec…  Oh...  Oh…  Please...”    

 

Her inner muscles contracted wildly around him, goosebumps rising on her flesh as she screamed out his name.  Gritting his teeth, he barely managed to hang on through her climax, his body going rigid, the pleasure as she spasmed around his shaft rapidly becoming too much to bear.  

 

Releasing her hands, he slid his down to her hips, her legs, fingers shaking as he pulled them up and over his arms, spreading her wide, changing the depth and angle of his penetration.  Bracing himself up on his hands, he leaned in as close as he could get to her and started pushing into her with longer, deeper strokes, straining to control the urge to just pound into her with all his strength as he watched the sparks flaring in her eyes.  

 

Max bit her lower lip on the keening whimpers escaping her throat, almost unable to process the raw sensory overload she was experiencing, the waves of the orgasm she was still riding continuing to grow and swell around her.  She slid her hands up his arms and around his neck, her nails raking over his shoulders and down his back, feeling the absolute power barely contained in the intoxicating man above her.  

 

He flexed and strained under her fingers, his muscles bunching as he thrust inside her, beads of perspiration slicking his skin.  She knew the exact moment he lost the struggle to hold himself back, saw the slightly wild look in his eyes as he searched hers for something.  Obviously finding it, as she felt him start driving commandingly into her, his strokes speeding up.  Felt the surge of heat and friction inside her spiralling further and further out of control, molten lava flooding through her.  

 

Alec thrust deeper and deeper, his head arching back, low growls of pleasure rumbling through his chest and then hers.  Plunging inside her again, he pushed up against the front wall of her vagina, hitting her g-spot, causing her to arch violently up off the bed with a hoarse cry of rapture, digging her nails into him and drawing blood.  Indescribable pleasure soaring through him, his body pistoning wildly as he came, spilling his seed deep inside her, almost passing out as she clenched tightly around him.  “Oh God, Max!”

 

She clung to him – the only solid thing left in her universe – her nails buried in his shoulders as shock waves overpowered her, her staggering release storming through her.  Spasms shaking her body as she felt him fill her with his essence.  She couldn’t get out a coherent sound to save her life as she struggled to breathe through her sobs of pleasure, unaware of the tears raining down her face.

 

As he slowly started to regain his senses and felt the aftershocks within her subsiding, Alec released her legs and carefully pulled out of her, collapsing on top of her with a prolonged shudder and resting his head in the crook of her neck.  Eventually noticing her tears, he lifted his head, pressing light kisses over her cheeks and lips, murmuring, “Shhhhh.  It’s all right, sweetie.  Everything’s okay.  I got you.”  Gathering his strength, he wrapped an arm around her and rolled over on to his back, taking her with him.

 

The room finally stopped spinning, the earth stopped shaking and Max dimly became aware of his words, of his lips pressing softly against her forehead, his arms wrapped protectively around her, holding her close.  She slowly raised her head and swiped at the tears still coating her cheeks with one hand, the other pressed over his heart feeling it gradually ease into a more normal rhythm.  “I’m okay...  I think.”  She finally whispered huskily, the euphoric high in her system making her giggle a bit, as she had to think hard just to speak at the moment.  

 

“I just…  That was…  ...  …”  She shook her head and sighed contentedly, unable to come up with a word that could possibly encompass the level of mind-bending pleasure she’d just experienced.

 

“Yeah.  Exactly.”  His lips curved up in a satisfied grin.  _And that, right there, is exactly the reaction I was hoping for._ He studied her carefully, noting the blissed out smile lifting her lips, the slumberous slant to her eyes, and the way her body draped bonelessly over his, completely and utterly relaxed.  

 

Leaning down to brush his lips against hers, he ran a hand through her curls and then pulled her head back down to his chest.  “Why don’t you close your eyes and rest for a little bit.”  His lips quirked just before he yawned, “We’ll need the energy later.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see Chapter 1 for disclaimer and author notes.

# Chapter 5  

 

**A catnap later…**

 

_How could I not know?_   Max stared down in wonder at a still dozing Alec; her chin perched on one hand atop his chest, the other combing tenderly through his hair and brushing it back from his forehead.  _I’ve known him for 18 months, lived with him for 6 of those, and couldn’t figure out before_ this _that I love him?_

_I must be the world’s biggest idiot.  I’ve only spent – what – the last two months or so agonizing over this?  And almost two years now, tying myself up in knots over the men in my life?  I’m surprised Cindy hasn’t smacked me upside the head yet for being so unbelievably dense._

She sighed, her earlier epiphany gaining momentum and clarity as she forced herself to seriously consider her current situation _.  Hell, it’s not even stupidity on my part.  Not really.  More like wilful ignorance.  Because I deliberately turned a blind eye to him.  And my true feelings.  I didn’t want to deal with it.  With any of it._   Thinking about it a bit further, she realized, _I was too scared to._

_And really, how pathetic is that?  A genetically revved-up female that’s strong enough to take down half a dozen men with one hand tied behind her back, but petrified of facing up to her own emotions._ She shook her head in self-disgust.

_All this time, I actually believed I was stronger than everyone else.  Felt all superior because I got out from under Manticore’s shadow and made my own life, on my own terms.  Not the cold, detached soldier that they wanted me to be.  But me.  Just me.  A ‘regular’ girl._ She rolled her eyes, Zack’s rant about phony sentimentality resounding in her brain.

_But for all my talk about ‘putting down roots’ and having friends?  I sure suck at it.  Yeah, I’ve made a good show of it.  Bragged - so many times - because I’d stopped running, but that was only on a physical level, wasn’t it.  I’ve always avoided putting myself out there emotionally.  Barely let anybody scratch below the surface to catch a glimpse of the real me._

_Darren was right all along.  I_ am _a fog bank._ She sucked in a quiet breath, sickened as she realized, _Just like Manticore trained me to be._ _God.  How could I let myself fall into their trap so easily?  And not even realize it?_

_I mean, sure, their conditioning had a lot to do with it.  After all, suffer through enough fear and pain…  Spend enough time repressing and denying damn near every genuine thought and emotion, and eventually it’s gonna become second nature._

 

A scowl twisted her lips.  _Thing is though,_ _I can’t even blame this entirely on them, no matter how much I’d like to, since I played just as big a part in it.  I allowed my experiences out here to reinforce what they taught us.  That strong emotions and reactions are dangerous and can hurt you.  Or someone you care about.  That it’s better in the long run to remain as aloof as possible.  To just ignore your feelings or pretend they don’t exist._

_Because that is me, isn’t it.  Miss ‘We’re Not Like That’.  The Queen of Denial.  Hell, I’ve done it with a whole boatload of emotional landmines over the years:  Manticore, my childhood, heat, Eva, the Barretts, Moody and the Clan, Brin, Ben, Tinga, Zack, Biggs, Cece, Logan, Seth, and now Alec…_

_I mean, let’s face it.  Isn’t that one of the main reasons I clung to the thought of being with Logan for so long?  Because he was the safe choice?  It certainly wasn’t because I loved him or desperately wanted to be with him.  I just didn’t have to open up to him.  He was too idealistic to accept a lot of the things I’ve been forced to do and endure, so I could justify keeping him in the dark.  And if I didn’t have to tell him about any of that stuff, then I didn’t have to deal with it either.  I could keep it all safely buried._

_But with Alec?  I’ve never been able to shut him out completely.  No matter how hard I’ve tried._

_There’s always been a spark between us.  Since that very first day, when he walked into my cell and cockily declared himself my breeding partner, I’ve felt it.  But I guess I wasn’t really prepared to handle it back then either.  It was too intense, too soon... way too much for me to deal with on top of everything else that was going on._   

_And having Renfro tell me that I_ couldn’t _be with Logan, and shoving Alec in my face instead?  Well, that was like waving a red flag in front of a bull, now wasn’t it.  ‘Cause no matter how childish it seems now,_ nothing _could have made me more determined to stay with Logan.  If only just to spite them.  Especially since I‘d already been clinging to my memories of him in an attempt to stay sane through the reindoctrination process._

_I felt so guilty and so freaked out by my immediate sense of connection with Alec, that I_ chose _to ignore it.  Did a hell of a lot worse, actually_.  She hung her head, staring down at his chest and brushing a light kiss over his heart. _I’ve treated him like shit more than half the time I’ve known him.  Been so cruel to him, and blamed him for a ton of things that weren’t really his fault._

_Sure I haven’t done it anywhere near as bad since I confided in him about Ben, and hardly at all since we moved in together, but still…  I_ was _a complete bitch to him.  Yet he hasn’t held it against me.  He’s even let me in and accepted me as a friend._

She looked back up and ran her fingertips over his features softly, tracing expressive eyebrows, high cheekbones and lingering over full lips. _And while the friends part is incredible, it’s not exactly what I want either.  I don’t want him to think of us as just friends, or even ‘friends with benefits.’_   She shook her head at her own thoughts, smirking.  _Although I guess I’ll be fortunate if that is the case, considering.  I mean, realistically, there are only a few ways this is likely to play out._

She tried to put it in perspective, tried not to get her hopes up.  _He did say it’s been quite a while since he’s been with anyone._   _So this could turn out to be just another one-night stand to him.  He’s certainly had enough of them in the past_.  She frowned, jealousy slashing through her as she recalled all the women she’d seen him with _.  He could easily have pretty much anyone he wanted if he put his mind to it.  So why_ would _he want anything more with me after the way I treated him?  Don’t think I would if I were him, given the givens._

 

_Alright, so let’s put that option behind Door #1, the worst-case scenario: We go back to being just friends and try to pretend like tonight never happened.  AKA ‘Go directly to Jail.  Do_ not _pass Go.  Do_ not _collect $200.’_

_Suckage factor?  Massive.  Especially with all the awkwardness that’d likely go along with it.  ‘Cause I really don’t see how I could possibly manage to do that with any kind of grace, now that I know what we could be together.  But it’s not like I’d really have much choice in the matter, if that’s all he ends up wanting from me.  Not like I wouldn’t deserve it either.  Payback is definitely a bitch..._   She sighed.  _I’d just have to suck it up and deal._

Thinking about it a bit more, she perked up.  _I really don’t think that’s it though.  Or at least, I hope it’s not.  With how he’s been acting toward me lately?  The way he talks to me, and touches me all the time?  He has to care about me, as a little bit more than just a friend anyway.  And the look in his eyes earlier, the way he held me and made love to me?_

_Well, that might just lead to what’s behind Door #2: The whole ‘friends with benefits’ dealio.  AKA ‘You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.’_

_Suckage factor?  It’d be a hell of a lot better than the first option, no matter which way you look at it.  We’d still be close, probably closer than we were before tonight even.  But I think it’d still be pretty hard in the long run.  Always keeping my feelings for him bottled up.  Knowing that he didn’t feel the same way about me.  That I was just convenient?_

She pursed her lips thoughtfully.  _Then again... maybe there’s more to it than that even.  What if it actually_ was _making love?  In every sense of the word.  It sure felt like it to me.  I guess that could be what’s behind Door #3: He loves me too._

 

She stared down at him, a dazzling smile taking over her face as she brushed her thumb lightly over the stubble starting to form along his jaw. _I mean, really, why_ else _would he have hung around and put up with all the crap I gave him.  He could have left, so many times, but he didn’t_.  _So that has to mean something, right?  Plus, there’s the fact that he didn’t sleep with anybody for seven months.  And I really don’t think he’d do_ that _just to keep up the pretence of being my boyfriend.  OC’s right.  He enjoys sex too much._   A flare of hope lit in her chest.  

 

_So what do I do now?  Do I tell him how I feel and just hope like hell he feels the same?  Can I even do that?  Tell him I love him?_ She shook her head. _I don’t think I can, not without having at least some idea of how he feels first.  And the last thing I want to do is try to pressure him into being with me._

 

 

Alec slowly became alert as he felt Max’s fingers trailing through his hair and over his face, felt her lush curves plastered against him, coaxing the first stirrings of a hard on in his groin.  He kept still for several minutes, pretending to be asleep, just enjoying the feel of her lying peacefully in his arms.  A sexy grin lifting his lips as he opened his eyes and saw her; saw the smile lighting up her face.  She appeared lost in thought, her fingers roaming affectionately over him.  

 

_So how can I improve my chances with him?  I certainly owe him an apology, at the very least.  And maybe I can make it up to him somehow?_ She sighed and snuggled deeper into his arms, never wanting to move from her perch atop his chest. _I have to let him know he’s important to me…_

 

"Penny for your thoughts?" 

 

She jerked against him, startled chocolate eyes darting to green as she realised he was wide-awake and staring up at her, his lips tilted up in a grin.  _If I don’t do this now, I may never get the nerve again._ Making up her mind, she nodded and then pushed herself up a bit more so she could see him better.  “You might even think they’re worth it.”

 

Seeing the slight confusion in his eyes, she took a fortifying breath and then forced herself to say it.  “I want to apologise for the way I treated you before we moved in here, something I should’ve done a long, _long_ time ago.  I was such a bitch, and said a lot of crap to you that I didn’t really mean, mainly in an effort to protect myself.”  

 

She licked her lower lip and bit down gently on it, before slowly releasing it.  “You see, from the moment we met, I’ve been … _aware_ of you… in a way that I’d never truly experienced before.  So you made me really nervous."  

 

Surprised by her outburst, Alec raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak.  But she quickly put her fingers over his lips, her eyes serious as they begged him for a chance to explain.  He kissed her fingers then shut his mouth, his eyes signalling her to continue.

 

"You scared the hell out of me, on sooo many levels.  I thought that you were Ben at first.  That Manticore had somehow resurrected and tortured him despite my efforts to set him free.  You set me straight of course, but you were his twin, which was better and worse all at the same time.  I was so confused.  Didn't know what to think.”  

 

She slowly trailed her fingers back down to rest on his chest.  "It was the first time that I’d ever felt such an instinctive, instantaneous… spark with any guy.  And well, what with my history, just the thought of that happening threw me for a loop.  But add in the fact that you were the twin of the brother I’d killed?!  I couldn’t handle it.  Not on top of everything else.”

 

“I was still grieving over everything that’d happened with Tinga and Zack.  And Ben all over again, after seeing you.  Worrying about protecting Logan, and struggling to deal with the fallout of being back there.  Being treated like just a number all over again.”  She closed her eyes for a moment and sighed.  “I was barely keeping my head above water, what with everything Renfro was putting me through, and all the open hostility I was catching from everyone.”

 

“So when you peeled off your shirt and told me you were my breeding partner, it was the last straw.  I lost it.”  The barely suppressed panic she’d felt then returned to her briefly and seeped into her voice.  "I kicked you aside – not just physically - and told myself that I'd imagined it.  That it meant nothing.  You meant nothing.  Just like I do with everything else in my life that I'm not comfortable with."  

 

She bit her lip again and met his gaze, remembering how shocked she’d been.  “I mean, you seemed so true-blue Manticore at first.  To me you were just one of _their_ soldiers, something I’d been running from almost my entire life.  So how could I possibly trust you, let alone feel any kind of connection with you?"  

 

Alec nodded in understanding as she continued.  "The weird thing was, I wanted to trust you.  Maybe ‘cause you looked like Ben?  I don’t know.”  She shook her head.  “But when you accepted my refusal and didn’t try to force the issue?  I wasn’t sure what to make of you.  I was positive that Renfro must’ve managed to mess with my head somehow.”

 

“All I wanted was to get the hell out of there.  And oh so conveniently, there you were, agreeing to help me escape, and you seemed so sincere that I found myself thinking, ‘Okay, maybe I can trust him.’  But when I got to Logan’s…”

 

He sighed, “There I was.  Breaking the news about the virus and trying to bring you back.” 

 

“Yeah.  I really hated you at that moment.”  She stared straight into his eyes, letting him see the riotous emotions in hers.  “So I tried to drill it into my head that I shouldn’t trust you.  _Ever_.  But it wouldn’t stick, ‘cause you kept coming back when I least expected it.  Turning my life upside down every single damn time.”

 

“When we ran into each other in that barn, trying to help those kids?  I had to fight my instincts all over again.  ‘Cause I found myself _wanting_ to rely on you.  Something inside me _expected_ you to stick around and help.  And I was so disappointed when you didn’t.  Told myself I should’ve known better.”

 

“And just as I was beginning to resign myself to that fact, there you were again.  An annoyingly cocky grey knight showing up just in the nick of time to save the day.”  She rolled her eyes at him.  

 

“But at least we parted on better terms, so when you showed up out of the blue again and said you wanted to help me look for Joshua?  I figured, what the hell.  If you helped, fine.  If you didn’t, oh well.  What’s the worst that could happen?”  She shrugged.

 

“And then you attacked us.”  She sighed heavily.  “When you stood over me with that knife?  God, it was like staring into Ben’s eyes all over again.  Seeing the desperation in them when he begged me to kill him, to keep Manticore from hurting him.  He was so scared, and so were you at that moment.  It freaked me out so bad I couldn’t stand it.”  She shook her head shakily.  

 

“And while I _was_ really pissed with you about losing the chance to cure the virus, that wasn’t the main reason I asked you to go away.  I wasn’t upset that I’d managed to save you, more that I’d failed to do the same for Ben.  And when I looked at you, it was a bitter reminder of that fact, resurrecting all the guilt and pain I thought I’d come to terms with already.  And that just made me all the more determined to make you go away.”

 

Max shook her head again, disgusted with herself.  “But no matter what I said or did, or how mean I was to you, you just kept coming back for more.  You wouldn’t stay away.  And as time went by, I got more and more frustrated with the hand I’d been dealt - with the never-ending stream of shit that kept raining down on me.  All I wanted was just a moment of peace.  Just one!  But noooo."  She rolled her eyes.  

 

"Logan kept hounding me to be close the way we used to be, despite the virus.  There were so many transgenics needing help, White chasing us, and trouble everywhere.  And there you were, always around, and always so happy go lucky, acting as if you didn’t have a care in the world.  It really pissed me off.  So I kept taking it out on you.”  

 

“It wasn't until I found out about…" she trailed off, suddenly remembering what a highly charged subject this was for him.  She looked at him apologetically.

 

Alec quickly figured out what she meant, his eyes darkening slightly.  "Rachel."

 

She nodded.  "It made me open my eyes and actually see _you_ for the first time.  The real you.  A fellow transgenic instead of the insufferable devil-may-care soldier I originally pegged you for.  And I started to realize that while I couldn’t get rid of you, it wasn’t necessarily such a bad thing anymore, because you pretty much always had my back.  Whenever I needed anything, I knew all I had to do was turn around and I’d find you somewhere close by.”

 

“I mean, sure, you usually ended up talking my ears off and whining about it the whole time, but you were there nonetheless.”  She grinned slyly at him when he gave her a slightly dirty look for the teasing remark.  

 

“It felt good though,” she admitted with a real smile this time, “finally having someone around that I could rely on, after going without for so damn long.  And I couldn’t just dismiss the connection with you as meaningless anymore.”

 

“But by that point, behaving like an absolute bitch toward you had become ingrained.  Was a really bad habit.  It gave me a level of comfort when I was around you and distracted me from how badly my life sucked at the time.”  She shook her head, angry with herself.  “Not that that’s any excuse.  It was my problem, not yours.  It wasn’t fair of me to treat you the way I did.  You didn’t deserve it.”

 

He had to interrupt at that.  “Oh come on, Max.  I _did_ deliberately bait you a lot of the time.  I enjoyed the hell out of it.  Still do.”  He laughed, “It’s fun teasing you.  Watching you get all riled up and pushing the limit to see how far I can go before you explode.  Hell, it's a bit of a turn on.”

 

She stared down at him incredulous.  “You’re kidding, right?”

 

A wicked grin lit up his face, as he shook his head no.  “It’s sexy, Maxie.  You get this passionate gleam in your eyes; they spit fire at me.  And when you put your hands on your hips, and stand the way you always do, your …” He paused and reconsidered what he’d been about to say, not really wanting to spoil the moment.  “Well, let’s just say you look even sexier than you usually do.”  He ran his hands down her back and pulled her hips closer, letting her feel her growing effect on him.  “It’s definitely a turn on.”

 

She laughed and shook her head.  “I’ll have to remember that.  But…” she paused and looked at him closely, searching his eyes for a sign of his feelings.  “I really am sorry for being such a bitch.  Do you think you can forgive me?  For the way I treated you and all the awful things I said?”

 

“I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t forgiven you a long time ago, Max.  And quite frankly, I did deserve some of it.  Sure I was under orders and a lot of duress, but I did put you through a ton of grief when we first met.”  

 

Alec sighed, letting his hands wander up and down her back, tracing the curve of her spine.  “And I realized why you fought with me, gradually figured out at least some of the reasons anyway.  So I didn’t blame you for most of it, although there were a few times you did get carried away.  But it’s been quite a while now since that’s happened, so I think we can consider this a fresh start already.” 

 

"Thank you."  Immensely relieved, she closed her eyes and smiled, leaning her head down on his shoulder and pressing a kiss against his neck.  

 

She stretched slowly, arching against his hands, every muscle in her body joining in the movement and unfurling one at a time, her toes curling as a husky sigh escaped her.  “I had no idea it could be like this.  Never felt this good before."  She stilled as she felt him harden beneath her, then lifted her head to look at him, a satisfied smile curling up her lips.  “Time for another lesson?”

 

“Mmm.”  He nodded affirmatively and slid one hand up into her hair, clenching a fist in the dark strands and gently tugging her mouth down to meet his.  The kiss, hot and wet, thorough as he mastered her mouth, his tongue delving between her lips and duelling with hers.  

 

Max moaned against his lips, clinging to his shoulders.  _God, the man can kiss_.  Her legs slid open, straddling him, and she felt his erection brush against her in her new position, grabbing her immediate attention.  _Hmm.  Maybe I_ can _show him how much he means to me.  There is that one thing that Kendra told me about…_ Breaking away from his lips and hands, she carefully slid down his body a bit, dragging her lips over his chest.  

 

He started to protest, reluctant to relinquish her, then promptly shut up when she lifted her head and stared at him with one eyebrow raised.  

 

“You did tell me I could have a turn later.”  She purred throatily.  

 

Gulping as the tone of her voice registered, Alec nodded and relaxed back against the bed, wondering if he was going to be able to hold out long enough to see this through.  “That I did.”  He grinned and motioned with his hands, “Go ahead and have your wicked way with me then.  I’ll try and behave.”  He moved his hands up to rest behind his head, propping it up to give him a better view of her.

 

She pouted, not quite as shy now after their previous intimacy.  “Now what fun would that be?”  

 

He laughed and then moaned when she captured one of his nipples between her teeth, nipping at it, then laving it with her tongue.  She pushed herself up a bit more, watching him intently as she allowed her hands and lips free rein in exploring him, drinking in his very appreciative responses, a natural high possessing her as confidence in her own femininity grew with leaps and bounds.  

 

He arched under her slender fingers, licking his lips in anticipation when she kept moving slowly but surely down his body, growing bolder as she trailed her tongue along the taut muscles of his abdomen and captured his erection in the cleft between her breasts, rubbing carefully against him.  Groaning loudly, he pushed his hips up into her chest, the subtle friction almost his undoing.  

 

She smiled up at him under heavily lidded eyes, “Like that?”

 

Alec nodded and bit his lip, continuing to move against her breasts.

 

“And here all this time I thought guys preferred blow jobs.”  She sighed and shook her head in mock disgust.  “I guess I was misinformed.  If you like this better…” she let her voice trail off deliberately, trying unsuccessfully to hide the grin tilting her lips.

 

“Max!”  He gasped and grew even harder, stunned by her teasing words.  “I didn’t think you’d even know about that from what you said before.  How…?”  

 

“I had a really over-sexed roommate before OC.”  She interrupted, as if that explained everything, but the puzzled look he gave her prompted her to continue.  

 

“Kendra _loved_ sex.  Practically everything she did revolved around it.  She watched sexy movies, read tons of romance novels – pushed me to read them too – and generally drove me nuts talking about it _._   _Nothing_ was taboo for her.  I ended up tuning her out a lot of the time since I wasn’t interested in the slightest.  But she is one of the main sources of my knowledge on the subject."  

 

"One day she happened to mention blow jobs, caught my confused look and proceeded to demonstrate the necessary techniques.”  At his widened eyes, she laughed and clarified, “With a banana.”

 

Pushing herself up to sit on his thighs, Max continued, “She told me every woman should know how to do it.  That giving a guy ‘head’ could be an extreme turn on in and of itself.  _And_ turn them into putty in the process.”  

 

“I must admit I didn’t pay too much attention at the time, wasn’t even remotely interested back then.  Now though?”  She looked down at him curiously, trailing her fingers up his shaft.  “The thought definitely has merit.  Figured I might even like to give it a try.”

 

“Course, since I don’t have any practical experience…”  She bit her lower lip and carefully curled her fingers around him, unsure of her grip.  “I wouldn’t mind getting a few pointers...”  She raised an eyebrow at him and licked her lips, watching his eyes darken further at the implication.

 

Alec struggled to push words past his suddenly dry throat, his voice breaking slightly.  “I think I could probably… give you a hand with that.”  He moved one swiftly from behind his head and brought it down over hers, gently adjusting her hold and guiding her movement.

 

“I was hoping you might.”  Max smiled and let her gaze roam boldly over him, let him show her at length where and exactly how he liked to be stroked, her eyes soaking up his obvious hunger for her touch.  

 

Deciding she was ready to take over, she bent down over him again, delicately touching her tongue to him and lapping at the bead of moisture weeping from his tip.  His strangled gasp ringing loudly in her ears as he arched up into her, his hand falling away to clench at the sheets.  

 

Free now to explore him properly, she trailed her tongue over him, slowly licking every glorious inch; fascinated by the way his shaft pulsed and jumped at her slightest touch, expanding further as she gradually drew him into her mouth.  The unique taste and scent of him flooding her senses.

 

Relishing the effect she was having on him, she let her transgenic memory guide her, thankful that she could remember the lesson even though she hadn't paid much attention.  She'd thought at the time that it would be disgusting, revolting.  

 

But it wasn't.  

 

Kendra had been right.  

 

She felt powerful and divinely feminine, completely in control.  Basking in the low moans, growls, and explicit encouragement she was dragging from him, and savouring the sensation of his heated thighs brushing against her breasts as she watched him writhe beneath her.  It was heady and she could feel herself becoming wetter and wetter, the now familiar ache rising again in her abdomen.

 

Alec swore fluently under his breath as he buried his hands in her hair, massaging her scalp as he held her close, trying desperately not to buck up into her mouth, not wanting to push her too far.  He couldn't believe she was actually doing this, let alone how good she was.  

 

She'd managed to take damn near all of him into her mouth, burying his head in the depths of her throat, and he was having a hard time remembering why he needed to restrain himself, especially when she kept swirling her tongue around him as her head bobbed up and down.  

 

He could feel the tension in his body rising far too swiftly, uncontrollably, and tried to pull her away before he lost it, but she wouldn't move.  

 

"Ma-ax…”  His voice was low and husky.  Strained.  “Baby.”

 

"Shit…  You gotta' stop."  He shakily tried again, raising his head to look down at her, the sexy vision she made making it a hundred times worse.  Her cheeks hollowed from the suction she was applying as she drew him in and out of her throat, full red lips glistening around him from a combination of pre-cum and saliva, her eyes gleaming with sinful pleasure as she held his gaze.

 

"Fuck!  I'm gonna …"

 

She just smiled around him, cupping his balls in one hand and squeezing delicately as she took him fully into her throat – and purred.

 

Alec shouted her name, gasping for air as the vibrations set him off.  He came, violently, pushing up into her mouth, his seed spurting down her throat as she continued to suck and swallow around him.  

 

_She's swallowing.  Christ!_ His whole body shook, his head arching back into the pillow, both fists clenching in her hair even as he struggled not to pull it.  

 

As the tension gradually eased from his body, Max slowly released him from her mouth with one final lick and gently set about untangling his fingers from her hair.  That accomplished, she crawled back up over his body, licking her lips and giggling as he opened his eyes dazedly, still having to work hard at breathing.  

 

"I’m assuming I did alright then?"  Satisfaction oozing from her every pore, she snuggled into his side, her left hand sliding over his body provocatively.

 

“Hell yeah.  Loads better than just alright.”  Groaning, he struggled to catch her hand and then brought it to his lips, grazing a kiss across her knuckles, "Gimme a minute…"  

 

"But I thought you're always ready?"  She giggled again, delighted by the effect she was having on him and leaned over to kiss him, letting her lips linger on his, her tongue darting into his mouth, allowing him to taste himself.

 

Growling, he caught her to him and rolled over on top of her, pressing her lower half down into the mattress and bracing himself up on his elbows.  "I am.  But God, Max…  That was incredible.  Remind me to thank… Kendra, was it?"  

 

She nodded, still grinning like the Cheshire cat.  

 

"You know, I think you're enjoying this a little too much."  Alec lifted an eyebrow as he looked down on her, feeling her squirm deliciously beneath him, amusement gleaming in her eyes.  "I think turnabout's fair play."  He reached over the side of the bed and snagged her vibrator off the nightstand.  

 

Her eyes widened.  "What are you doing?"

 

He just smiled as he turned it on, brushing it lightly over the tops of her breasts.  "I told you I'd never seen one before.  So I think I'm gonna need a little personal demonstration."

 

She blushed to the roots of her hair and stared at him in disbelief, her voice breathless as she whispered, "You can't be serious."

 

"Oh, but I am."  He grinned and lowered his voice conspiratorially.  "You see, guys are really visually oriented.  That why we enjoy things like sexy lingerie and strippers so much.  And watching a woman pleasure herself?  Has got to be _the_ hottest damn thing in the world.  It’s _very_ stimulating."  

 

Rolling off of her and on to his side, he slid her vibrator down over her body, watching her shiver as he drew it over her damp core, letting his fingers trail over her as well.  "You're already so wet."  His voice grew huskier with the knowledge.  "You really enjoyed what you did to me, didn’t you Maxie?"

 

She nodded, still blushing, driven almost to distraction as he continued to stroke increasingly sensitive flesh, biting down on her lower lip as she tried to decide what to do.  The idea was surprisingly tempting, the innate sensuality involved in performing for him, of touching herself intimately while he watched extremely erotic and intriguing.  Provocative.  Yet frightening at the same time, the idea of being so vulnerable in front of him stirring up a ton of emotional baggage.  The required intimacy seeming far greater than the act of simply making love.  

 

_What if I’m not sexy enough and he gets turned off?  I’ve barely had time to figure this out when I’m alone, let alone with an audience._   She risked another glance at him to gauge his interest and found smouldering heat in the depths of his eyes.  _He’s definitely turned on by the idea._

Alec studied her, her reticence obvious, the vulnerability behind it even more so, and felt like kicking himself when he remembered teasing her earlier.  Pulling the vibrator away from her and backtracking for a moment, he tried to coax her past her shyness.  “This really isn’t all that much different from what you just did for me.  But if you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to do it.  This is supposed to be fun, remember?”

 

She nodded slowly, still not quite convinced.

 

“It’s just the two of us here, Max.  No one is going to pass judgement on you.  I want you to feel free to try new things and explore your own sexuality.”  He struggled to find something that would put her at ease.  “Nothing that happens here is ever going to leave this room.  I promise.”  He caught her eyes, letting her see just how desirable he found her, how much he wanted her happiness, her trust.

 

Melting at the look in his eyes, she took a deep breath and decided to go for it.  Slowly reaching out her right hand to his, she took the vibrator from him and stretched out a bit to get more comfortable, her lower body angling out slightly from his.  Bending her knees, she let one lean out to rest against his hips, needing at least some contact with him to retain a level of comfort.

 

Nodding encouragingly, Alec enfolded her hand in his and moved their joined hands down low on her body, brushing the dildo back and forth along the moist heat emanating between her thighs.  "Show me what you like, what feels good to you.  I'll even help you get started."  He leaned over and took her right nipple into his mouth, suckling it.

 

Max hesitantly did as he asked, bringing her left hand up and barely brushing it over the smooth flesh of her abdomen and along her sides.  Raising goose bumps as she caressed herself ever so gently, trailing the tips of her fingers up between her breasts to the sensitive skin of her neck.  The lightest of touches always seemed to work best, arousing her easily and to no end.

 

He lifted his head to watch her, deliberately catching her eyes as his hand played with hers between her legs.  She couldn't look away from his intense gaze, getting caught up in the fire burning in their depths.  

 

Taking her index finger into her mouth and wetting it, she moved her hand back down and cupped the weight of her left breast in the palm of her hand.  Rolling the nipple between her fingers and teasing it to a taut peak before submitting the other to the same treatment.  

 

Eventually, she lowered her hand, sliding it down over her abdomen to her upturned thigh, lightly stroking along the inside of it as she finally allowed the vibrator to enter her.  It did so easily, aided by the slick flesh awaiting it.

 

Realising she was in the zone now and more than able to continue on her own, Alec lifted his hand from hers to allow her more control and moved to caress the leg resting against him, the pads of his fingers gliding along her sensitive skin.

 

She took a moment to adjust the strength of the vibrations and shift the butterfly attachment near the base so it would impact directly against her clit.  Then, keeping her eyes on her lover’s face, she let her imagination take hold, her hips beginning to arch up of their own accord to meet her slow and steady penetrations, her feet lifting slightly up on tiptoe, knees sliding further apart, the outer one almost dropping to touch the bed.  The fingers on her free hand splayed out, nails skimming over her skin as they made their way back up to tease her nipples mercilessly.

 

"That looks like it feels good, Maxie."  His voice was deep, thick with desire as his eyes wandered hotly over the length of her body, following her hands and catching every movement, every shiver as her body wound tighter and tighter, her hips starting to rock around in a circle with every thrust.

 

She licked her lips, her breaths quickening, aroused beyond belief by his obvious excitement, feeling him hard against the outside of her thigh.  "It does.  Especially when I…" her voice trailed off as a stronger quiver rocked her body, making her lose her train of thought.

 

Alec waited a moment, then leaned over to whisper against her ear, "It feels good when you what, baby?"  He licked around the curve and then nipped down on her lobe.

 

"When I… think about… you."  She gasped as the shudders wracking her body increased.  "Pretend… it's… you..."  

 

His eyes darkened as he pulled away just enough to meet her gaze again.  "Do you like doing that?  Fantasizing about me?"

 

"Oh yeah..."  Her face was glowing and she licked her lips again, struggling to breathe.  "I’ve… dreamt about… you."

 

"Really?”  His eyes raked over her once more, watching the hot flush of arousal spreading rapidly over her skin and knowing she was almost there.  “And did it ever feel this good in your dreams?" 

 

"Not… even… close…”  Unable to take any more, Max changed the angle of the vibrator and pressed deeper, searching for the special spot that would send her over the edge.  Finding it, she moaned Alec’s name as her orgasm flooded over her.  

 

Leaning over her, he captured her lips, slowly, deeply, kissing her intimately as he swallowed her low moans of pleasure with intense satisfaction.  As he felt the tension easing from her body, he pulled back and began brushing feather-light kisses over her mouth and cheeks until she sighed dreamily and went completely limp beside him, her upraised leg sliding down to tangle with his.

 

Smiling tenderly, he reached down and gently slid the vibrator from her body, turning it off and placing it back on the nightstand behind him.  “Thank you for sharing that with me.” 

 

Picking up her hand and guiding it down his body, he wrapped it around his rock-hard erection.  "See what watching you did to me?"

 

“Mmm.”  She opened her eyes, blinking rapidly at the barely repressed passion staring back at her.  Stroking him, she felt her own desire miraculously flare again to match his.  "So what'd you have in mind?"  She murmured huskily.

 

"I think a riding lesson is in order."

 

"A riding lesson?"

 

Alec could almost see her brain working, trying to figure out what he meant.  

 

Max eyed him for almost a full minute, still a bit out of it.  Ran her eyes slowly down his body to where her hand was stroking him, and then her eyes widened as she finally got it.  “Oh.”  She giggled and pulled her hand away, pressing the back of it over her lips to stifle the sound.  

 

_He's gonna think I'm nuts pretty soon, what with how much I keep doing that.  Hell,_ I _think I'm nuts, but I can't seem to help it either.  I feel too damn good._ She smiled and shook her head amazed.  _So this is what true happiness feels like._

 

He just chuckled; utterly fascinated by the intriguing blend of innocent sex goddess she was displaying tonight.  _She's obviously been repressing an inherently sensual nature, to her own detriment._   He'd never seen her so light-hearted, never heard her laugh so much or so easily.  The stress lines around her face had disappeared completely, letting her natural beauty shine through brightly, captivating him.  

 

"C'mere."  He rolled her over on top of him, running his fingers lightly over the sides of her face and down her neck, evoking a shiver and another giggle as she wiggled trying to escape his ticklish yet oh so arousing touch.

 

"Stop it!  I can't think straight when you touch me like that."  The smile on her face and twinkle in her eyes belying her adamant tone.

 

Alec looked up at her, blinking innocently, "Like what?"

 

She stared at him, arching an eyebrow ferociously.  "You know what."  

 

Although she tried to maintain her tough façade, she cracked again when he slid his hands swiftly down her back and grabbed her ass, goosing her instead.  “Is this better?”

 

"Hey!"  Max raised herself up a bit, shaking a finger in his face as she struggled to keep a straight face.  "Don’t make me kick your ass!"

 

He just laughed and nipped playfully at her finger.  "Like to see you try it."  He smirked and couldn't resist teasing her.  It was just too damn tempting.  "After all, you're such a tiny little thing.  It's not like you could really do that much damage."

 

She caught the gleam in his eyes and realised what he was doing, but decided to go with it anyway.  _He did say it was a turn on._ "As if, pretty boy!  Bring it."  She let her face set in mock fury and sat up completely to straddle him, bracing her hands over his pecs.  

 

But she immediately lost interest in the game when she felt him straining between her legs, his hot, hard length pressing intimately against her, moisture seeping from her to ease his movement.  "Oh!"  Her eyes flew to his as she instinctively adjusted her weight on her knees.

 

“Yeah.”  Grinning sexily, Alec raised his hands to her hips, cupping them and moving her against him, holding her gaze the whole time.  He slid easily between her warm, wet lips, brushing against her clit, over and over again.  Deliberately not entering her, tantalising them both with the exquisite foreplay.  

 

She moaned and shivered, her hips squirming deliciously against his.  He was pulsing against her, growing thicker and harder with every stroke.  "That feels good."  Biting her bottom lip, she tried to rise up a bit, tried to take him in, to ease the ache he was building inside her.

 

But he wouldn't let her, “Un un, Maxie.  Patience is a virtue, you know.”  Holding her firmly, he continued moving her slowly, set on his self-appointed goal for the night – taking her to the ultimate heights of pleasure as many times as he possibly could.  Intentionally driving her out of her head with need, so her climaxes would be that much sweeter.   

 

Unsuccessfully trying to capture him again, she was taken aback by the sudden awareness of exactly how much stronger than her he really was.  Her respect for him growing in the face of his obvious control, his restraint in dealing with her all this time.  His hands on her hips were the only thing holding her, yet it was clear she couldn’t get away from him without a real fight, though he wasn’t hurting her at all.  

 

Amazingly enough, she didn’t feel threatened.  It was oddly freeing in its own strange way.  She actually felt more petite and feminine.  Able to let her hair down and be a girlie girl for a change.  Secure in the knowledge she was safe.  There was no doubt at all in her mind that if she asked him to let her go, he would.  Immediately.  She could see it in his eyes, in the way he was watching her carefully for her reaction.

 

Giving in, at least momentarily, she huffed out an exaggerated sigh and acknowledged his physical dominance, “Fine.  Have it your way.”  Then rolled her eyes and shook her head at the pleased grin he gave her.  

 

Pouting prettily, she let him control her movements until the frustration started to become too much to bear.  _Enough is enough, smart ass.  Let’s see if I can’t find a way to make you pick up the pace.  Maybe lose a bit of that rigid control you seem to enjoy so much._ Remembering what he’d said about the power of visual stimulation, she stared down at him hungrily, her eyes gleaming as a few ideas started to come to mind.  

 

Alec arched a brow at her as he read her intent, and then grinned as he continued his slow and steady manipulation of her body.  “You look like you’re having decidedly naughty thoughts about me, Maxie.  And while I should probably be worried about what you plan on doing to me from the look on your face,” he shook his head admiringly, “I’ll be damned if it’s not one of the sexiest things I think I’ve ever seen.”

 

She shrugged delicately, “Why, I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  The sudden wide-eyed innocence and confusion she managed to convey with that simple statement, completely over the top.  

 

Ignoring his snort of laughter, she lifted her right hand up to her face and tapped her bottom lip a few times with the tip of her index finger as she pretended to think about what he’d said.  Her tongue slipping out to lick her lips but – accidentally of course – catching that same finger in the process, gliding around it playfully before she slowly let it slide between her lips.  After sucking on it suggestively and thoroughly wetting it, she pulled it out and reached down to brush it across one of his nipples, circling around it lightly and then pinching it.

  

Alec bit back a moan and shuddered lightly, both amused and aroused by her attempt to seduce him, and admittedly pleased that she felt confident enough to try it.

 

Eyes dancing, Max carefully raked her fingernails down his chest until her hands found the slick heat between them.  Her fingers caressing them both, sliding over her clit and around his erection, cupping him and gathering their combined fluids as she pressed him closer to her, pulling a groan from his lips.

 

When he managed to refocus on her enough to notice the extremely wicked grin lighting up her face, he looked down again suspiciously.  His eyes darkening and pupils dilating like mad as her hands slowly started climbing up over her own body, blazing an indecently damp trail all the way up from her clit to her breasts.  His breath catching in his chest on a low growl as she caressed and painted her nipples with the moisture lingering on her fingers.  

 

Smirking at the slack-jawed expression on his face, she proceeded to cup her breasts in the palms of her hands, outrageously playing with them and teasing him with the bounty of flesh he wanted to claim for his own.  

 

“You little minx,” he drawled huskily, clear appreciation for her audacity obvious in both his gaze and tone.  Reaching up, he snagged one of her hands and brought it down to his mouth, his tongue darting out to lick her fingers clean, startling a gasp from her.  

 

Feeding the desire burning in his eyes, she let her fingers dip, one by one, between his lips, feeling his teeth graze over her skin as he sucked on each one.  His hand moving back to rest on her leg.  His thumb caressing the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh and then carefully claiming her clit, touching her, but never applying quite enough pressure to bring her any kind of satisfaction.

 

And all too quickly, Max realized the problem with her idea.  She was getting even more turned on, swiftly moving beyond the point of caring about who was in control of anything anymore.  

 

"Alec…”  Her voice emerged as a shaky whimper, dark chocolate eyes locking hotly on green as she pushed her hips down harder against him in an attempt to create a tighter friction, trying to coax him into giving in.  "Please...  I need you inside me…"  

 

“No more than I want to be there.”  Sliding his hands up higher on her hips, he lifted her and impaled her with one swift stroke, grinding her pelvis down against his.  

 

Deep, saturating pleasure overtook her as her head flew back, a cry of ecstasy ringing from her lips.  Her body arching wildly as she came, hands falling back onto his thighs for support while she trembled above him.  Dark curls traipsing lazily across her upper back as her head lolled back on her shoulders.

 

Stilling for a moment to give her time to recover, he allowed himself to bask in her natural beauty.  Her sinfully sweet taste lingering on his tongue while the luscious scent of her arousal bloomed around them.  Her sexy, drawn out moan of pleasure a delicious melody permeating the air, encouraging him to continue.  Gently lifting her, he brought her back down, the moist velvet of her walls fluttering around him and caressing him with exquisite heat as he tilted his hips up to meet hers.  

 

Max dipped her head to gaze back down at him, her hands creeping forward to caress his abdomen and chest as she began to ride him; gradually taking over the languid rhythm he was setting and making it her own.  Instinctively undulating her hips and rubbing her clit against him on each downward slide before slowly rising up until just the tip of his erection remained lodged inside her.  Her bottom lip held between her teeth and eyes half-closed in rapt concentration as she stared down at him, her breasts swaying seductively with every move she made, beckoning him to touch and taste.  

 

Releasing her hips, Alec let his hands slide up over her body, grazing his fingertips up and down her sides and across her nipples, soaking up the contented sighs she made in response.  

 

Pushing himself up, he trailed his lips over her face, brushing them across her cheeks and over half-closed eyelids, dipping down briefly to the tip of her nose and corners of her mouth before capturing it.  His tongue sliding between her lips and dancing with hers, mimicking the seductive movement of their bodies.  

 

Her arms slid around his neck as she kissed him back, moulding her body to his and rubbing her breasts against his chest, opening herself up to him completely and moaning in the back of her throat as the hot, slick feel of him sent goosebumps racing over her skin.  His hands curving around to her back, gliding up and down the curve of her spine and cupping her ass, caressing her everywhere he could reach.  The tension between them mounting steadily despite their leisurely pace.  

 

Her right hand crept up over his barcode and into his hair almost of its own volition, slender fingers combing through the silky locks and holding him to her as his lips skimmed over her neck and throat, his teeth grazing along the flesh of her shoulder.  “How do you… _do_ this?”  Max gasped and leaned into his mouth as he nibbled and kissed his way back across her collarbone.  “Shouldn’t be this… wound up again already…”

 

Alec glanced up at her, green, heavily lidded eyes trailing appreciatively over flushed skin.  “Hmmm?”  Licking over the slight marks he’d made, he dipped further down, capturing a taut bud in his mouth and sucking heavily, his hands moving to support her as she arched her back to give him better access.

 

“Oh God.  Yes!”  More than a little distracted, she shuddered delicately against him, her head falling back onto one of his arms as she cast about desperately for something coherent enough to explain.  “Feel you… pulse throbbing…” she bit her lip, inhaling shakily as she managed to lift her head again to watch him suckle her, “so deep… feels so good…”  Her left hand grasped at his shoulder for purchase as her hips began to lose their easy rhythm.  “ _Too_ good…  Don’t think I can take it…”

 

He gave a last lingering lick to her nipple and then moved back up to face her, his fiery gaze locking intently on hers.  “‘S’okay to feel good, Maxie.  Supposed to, remember?”  

 

His hands returned to her hips and calmed her movements, restoring the gentle glide of their bodies against one another.  Interspersing his words with kisses, he murmured, “Gotta learn to let go…  Just let yourself feel...  Let it build…  I promise… it’ll be better… if we wait.”  Smirking a bit at the mutinous scowl she gave him, he slid a hand up into her curls, grasping the back of her neck and drawing her down into a deeper kiss to distract her.

 

Several minutes later, he was straining to hold back as well and finally gave in to the shameless demands of their bodies, letting her take the reins once more.  Encouraging her to move harder and faster as he started thrusting up to meet her. 

 

_Finally!_   was the only thought capable of registering in her mind.  Desperate for relief from the sweet torment he was inflicting upon her, Max threw herself into motion, bouncing up and down in his lap and just _going_ for it.  Breasts heaving and hands braced on his shoulders for support, she plunged down on him, over and over again, taking him deeper and deeper.  Any embarrassment she might have felt over her wild and wanton behaviour falling by the wayside, as she became totally engrossed in the sinfully sexy man beneath her and the intense pleasure radiating out from between her thighs.  

 

“Oh fuck yeah!  That’s it.  Just like that baby.”  Spellbound, Alec watched her move with utter abandon, his eyes roving heatedly over every inch of flesh presented to him.  Words spilling from him in a husky torrent as he lost himself in her scent, her touch.  His senses consumed by everything Max.  “God, you’re incredible.  So sexy.  Love how responsive you are.”  

 

Nipping hungrily at her, he dragged his tongue over the marks he left behind, dropping kisses in his wake and groaning out his pleasure against her skin.  “You feel so good Maxie.  So damn tight around me.  Just wanna bury myself inside you and stay there forever.”  Stretching up to capture her lips again, he kissed her hard, as if he couldn't control himself, as if he couldn't stop, taking her as deeply with his mouth as he was with his body.  

 

He was so close.  There was no way he could hold out much longer, and Max was struggling against him now, almost frantic in her need.  She was moaning incessantly, unable to contain the wild keening cries leaving her red, kiss-swollen lips.  Her fingers clenching repeatedly atop his shoulders as she arched backward, pressing her breasts up into his face.

 

Slipping one hand between their sweat-slick flesh, he found the damp crown of hair between her thighs, found the heat of their joining and the sensitive nub above it.  Stroking her with his thumb, he captured one of her nipples between his teeth and bit down, applying just enough pressure to ride the cusp between pleasure and pain.

 

And just like that, she was done.  Completely and totally gone.  

 

She froze in his arms, not a single sound making it past her lips.  So sensitized that his over-stimulation threw her over the edge, her climax hitting her hard and fast like a runaway freight train.  Time crashing to a halt and taking her with it as she stopped breathing entirely, caught up in a rush unlike anything she’d ever imagined possible.  Her hands reflexively pulling him closer and cradling him against her.  Her open lips trembling silently, eyes rolling back beneath closed lids, pure bliss written on her face for all the world to see.

 

Alec lifted his head and watched her for a second, amazed by the depth of her reaction.  A thrill shooting through him as he realized what was happening to her.  She was in the grips of an intense orgasm; one so powerful he’d experienced only one like it thus far.  

 

And then she was vibrating around him, her silken heat squeezing him like a vice, and he started thrusting again, immersing himself in the unbelievably intense sensations surrounding him.  As the pressure inside her increased, he groaned, finally finding his own release.  His body going rigid, his shoulders glowing with a sheen of perspiration as he collapsed back onto the bed, taking her with him.

 

Max shuddered against him and suddenly gasped for air, burying her face in his neck and clinging to him, utterly undone as violent aftershocks began crashing through her.  A wild fusion of breathy sobs and husky laughter streaming uncontrollably from her lips.  

 

Closing his eyes, Alec just concentrated on breathing and holding her, as her inner muscles kept milking him with persistent spasms.  The resulting bursts of molten pleasure making it near impossible for him to do much of anything else for several minutes. 

 

When her body finally stopped having a meltdown, she slowly raised her head and kissed him, pressing her lips to his softly.  “Holy shit.”  She whispered against them, sounding just as dazed as she felt.

 

He grinned and then kissed her back, lingering for a moment in the sweetness of her lips.  Opening his eyes, he finally murmured, “Yeah that looked pretty intense.  I’m surprised you’re still in one piece.”  He ran a hand soothingly along her spine.  

 

“So am I.”  Max blinked a couple of times as she struggled to keep her eyes open.  Taking a deep breath and releasing it on a contented sigh, she dropped her head back down onto his chest and stretched out on top of him, her fingers tracing lazy circles on his skin as she started to drift. 

 

“I told you it’d be good.”  He couldn’t resist saying it, inordinately pleased with himself.

 

“Yeah, you did.  And it was.  Smart ass.”  She shook her head against him wearily, her voice brimming with indulgent affection.  “Now shut the hell up and let me rest a few, ‘kay?”

 

_Ahh.  And there’s the Max I know and love.  Little Miss Attitude.  It just wouldn’t be the same if she didn’t bitch at me at least a little bit._   

 

Alec chuckled and shifted his arm to make room for her as she slid off him and curled into his side, dozing off almost immediately with her head pillowed on his left shoulder.  _Not that I blame her.  If I'd experienced what she just did, I'd probably want to zone out for a while too, just bask in the afterglow.  Hell, who am I kidding?  I'd probably want to sleep for a week._

 

A grin lit up his face as he gazed down at her, taking in her peaceful expression; her lips curved up in a hint of a smile.  _For someone who insists she doesn’t need much sleep, she’s sure giving a pretty good impression of it tonight.  Or is it morning now?_   He peered out the window behind them and mentally shrugged.  _Not like it really matters since it's still dark out.  And I have the day off._ Glancing up at the ceiling, he mouthed, 'Thank you.' _There is a God, and she loves me._

 

He looked back down at Max, running a hand through her curls and playing with the soft strands, pausing briefly when she stirred, one of her legs draping across his thighs as she snuggled in closer and then settled again. _Looks like her shark DNA has finally fallen through.  Of course, I guess I really shouldn’t expect anything less after everything that’s happened tonight._

Drawn back unwittingly to their earlier conversations, Alec winced.  _Why hasn’t it ever occurred to me to wonder what our women go through during heat?_ _I have no clue what it feels like or how it really affects them – other than making them hornier than hell.  I’ve never even bothered to ask, since it doesn’t appear to upset the majority of them, at least not now that we’re actually free to be with whomever we want.  But then again, none of them had to go through it alone, or give in to it at such an early age.  We were all sheltered from the brunt of it until we were mature enough to handle sex._

_But Max?_   He pressed a feather-light kiss to the top of her head, his arm tightening around her protectively _.  God, she’s been through hell.  Basically been raped repeatedly since puberty – her own body betraying her and insisting on breeding, while she was screaming no inside the whole time.  An unwilling accomplice to her own rape._   

 

His imagination, fuelled by all the atrocities he’d seen and experienced over the years, proved only too capable of conjuring up visions of a much younger, and much more vulnerable Max.  Scared and alone and confused.  Struggling to figure out and cope with life on the outside, and stave off her own instincts.  Continually bombarded by the depravity infesting the seedy side streets and dirty back alleys of LA and Hollywood.  

 

His eyes slammed shut, trying to block out the increasingly disturbing images running through his head.  Nearly overwhelmed by the urge to hunt down every last one of the selfish bastards that had hurt her over the years and make them pay.  His hands reflexively clenching and unclenching as he added all the Manticore scientists that had taken such joy in experimenting on them to the list.

 

When she mumbled his name restlessly and smoothed her palm out over his chest, obviously reacting to the sudden tension in his muscles, he forced himself to relax.  _There’s no point getting worked up over it, ‘cause no matter how much I’d like to, there’s nothing I can do about that now._ Taking a few deep breaths, he slowly opened his eyes again and looked back down at her, thinking rapidly. _But maybe I can help her find a better way to deal with this from now on._

 

_From the way she broke down earlier, I get the impression she hasn’t really talked about this with anyone before.  Not even Cindy.  And letting it fester certainly hasn’t done her any good.  Although she’s hidden it well.  Buried it deep.  If you’d asked me even a couple of days ago, I never would’ve guessed she was hiding something like this beneath that tough ‘girls kick ass’ attitude of hers.  Not with how feisty she usually is.  But then again, she’s had plenty of time to fine-tune her defences, hasn’t she._

_Hell, she’s had to face this how many times already?  Considering it’s been over 9 and a half years since her first heat...  And from what I’ve seen and heard, the average cycle ranges anywhere between 3 to 5 months...  30’s probably a fairly conservative estimate._

_And it’s not even close to being over for her yet, ‘cause she’s likely got_ at least _another 25 years to go until she reaches the end of her fertile period.  Assuming we keep following the bulk of our human DNA.  So that’ll make – what – around a 100 times over the course of her lifetime?_

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered under his breath, shuddering involuntarily as the sheer magnitude of her situation hit him.  The knowledge of what she’d had to cope with – since the tender age of 12 – absolutely earth shattering. _How the hell do you even_ begin _to start dealing with something that monstrous?  That insidious._

 

_It’s no wonder she started blacking out during her heats.  With how vivid our memories normally are, it’s probably about the only way she could’ve handled it and stayed sane.  The strength of will she’s got – to keep going despite everything – is nothing short of incredible._

_So what can_ I _possibly do to help?_ He shook his head, frustration coursing through him, as he realized _probably not a hell of a lot.  I certainly can’t stop her from going into heat.  Or make her cycles any easier to bear.  Although…_ He paused for a moment, slightly disconcerted as the devil’s advocate in his brain threw out an unconventional solution. 

_‘You could make it so she never has to worry about it again…  Offer to mate with her and give her a safe, permanent partner.  Someone that she already trusts and could rely on to help support her and take care of her.  A guy that truly loves her and would treat her like she deserves to be treated…’_

_I suppose I could, and she might even be willing to go for it, if tonight is anything to go by._ Sighing, he ran his free hand through his hair as he considered it.  _But it wouldn’t really be fair to her.  I’d be taking advantage of her._

_For one thing, she’s way too isolated.  What with the amount of time she spends cooped up in our office, either on the phone or working with the committee members, she’s barely had any opportunity to get to know anybody outside of the HQ regulars.  And our quasi relationship hasn’t done her any favours either, since it’s actively discouraged most of the single guys from becoming overly friendly with her.  Not_ _that I’m complaining or actually want any of the other guys sniffing after her, but it has limited her options._

_Add to that the fact that she’s lost touch with most of her baser instincts, and is only just now starting to relearn some of the behaviours the rest of us take for granted; and she’s got an extreme handicap.  Making it that much more unlikely that she’s got any kind of a grasp on the concept of mating yet.  Especially since we’re still working out all the ramifications of it ourselves._

_And even if you push all of that aside, she’s too vulnerable right now, too damned inexperienced sexually.  She can’t possibly know for sure what she wants.  Might even end up confusing lust with love, if I’m not careful.  After all, for all intents and purposes, she was a virgin tonight – nervous and shy, and full of curiosity._

A frown creased his forehead.  _And o_ _f course, that’s the real problem, isn’t it.  She's experimenting._

_The only reason she’s here with me is ‘cause she trusts me, and well, okay, apparently she’s attracted to me too, has been for quite some time if what she said earlier is any indication._ Still a bit stunned by that revelation, he sighed.  _Up until recently, I was sure the tension I felt coming from her was from the pent up sexual frustration of her ‘not-like-that’ relationship with Logan._

_But even if she does want me physically, that doesn't mean she wants anything permanent with me.  Probably exactly the opposite considering everything else she’s got on her plate.  She hasn’t been broken up with Logan for that long and then when you take into account all our current problems with White and this siege and her negotiations with Governor Adams..._   _Why would she want to add any more complications to the mix?_

_I mean, sure she’s obviously comfortable with me after everything we’ve been through, and as far as everyone else is concerned, we're already living together and fairly involved even if we weren’t technically lovers until tonight.  Hell, we spend almost every waking moment together except for when I'm out with my unit on a heist or a supply run.  So I’m convenient, experienced, and readily available.  Why not have sex with me?  Maybe even have a little fling.  It just makes sense.  It’s simple.  Easy._

_But to go so far as mating?  There’s no way she’s ready for anything that serious yet._ He shook his head resignedly as he decided, _No.  No matter how much I love her, or how much I’d love to take her as my mate, I can’t let myself get carried away.  Can’t rush her into making this big of a decision.  I need to give her time to work through everything and figure out exactly what she wants._

_About the only thing I can do to help her right now – at least with a clear conscience – is just continue to be there for her.  Keep on being a good friend like I have been, and offer her a shoulder to cry on whenever she needs one._ _It seemed to do her a world of good earlier, finally letting some of that poison out of her system.  Maybe I’ll ask her about it again later.  See if I can’t get her to open up a bit more, as hard as it might be to have to hear it.  It certainly can’t hurt to try._

Looking down at her again, he sighed broodingly, lightly nuzzling his nose into the top of her hair.  _I’m just glad I could make tonight good for her.  Maybe make up for some of the shit she’s gone through.  At least in some small part._

_She definitely seems to be enjoying herself.  More than I ever thought she’d be able to, considering.  I was sure she’d be really hesitant and maybe even a little freaked out by some of the stuff we’ve done so far, but she hasn’t been.  Course, the blackouts no doubt helped with that.  Effectively buried most of the memories that would have made it damn near impossible for her to relax and accept the pleasure I’ve tried to show her._

_It’s hard to believe any of this is even happening.  That she's actually here in my arms.  Willingly.  Happily.  That she trusts me enough to let me be here for her like this.  I never thought we’d ever get to this point._

_Thank God I followed my instincts and didn’t push her when we moved in together.  Just kept everything on a strictly platonic level, and put all my efforts into romancing her instead of trying to get all hot and heavy for our public charade.  If I hadn’t, I would’ve lost her for sure.  At least this way, I may actually have a shot with her.  Might eventually be able to make her see how good I could be for her, if she’d only give me a chance._

_But what do I do if she won’t?  What if she decides she doesn’t want anything more from me?  Or worse yet, what if we do start something and she suddenly comes to her senses and realizes she can’t stand me, that I drive her crazy, or that I'm just the rebound guy._

Despair slid through him, his chest clenching painfully at the chilling thought until he forced it away.  _No.  I can’t let myself think that way.  Gotta stay positive and have faith in myself.  I’ve already gotten closer to her tonight than I ever thought I’d get.  Who’s to say it can’t get even better?_

_Obviously I’ve already been doing something right, although the results were so gradual that I couldn’t really see them.  So I just need to keep taking things nice and easy.  Casual.  Let her set the pace for the most part.  Maybe step up my efforts on wooing her and start making a few romantic gestures here at home._ Biting his bottom lip contemplatively, he decided, _as long as I don’t push her for more than she’s ready or willing to give, it should be okay.  After all, slow and steady wins the race.  Right?_

Making a determined effort to clear his head of any further dark thoughts, Alec slid over on to his side and pulled her closer, relishing the feel of her in his arms.  _For now, I can just enjoy myself, enjoy her, hold her.  Love her like I've always wanted to._

Tracing his fingers lightly over the soft, silky skin of her back, he savoured her.  Her petite frame nestling intimately against his broader one.  The lingering tightness in his chest easing as she sleepily mumbled his name, her left arm wrapping around his waist as she burrowed into him.  

Sighing happily as she woke, Max slowly opened her eyes and arched into his touch as she looked up at him.  “Hey.” 

 

He grinned sheepishly, "Sorry.  I didn't mean to wake you."

 

"S'okay."  An amused grin lit up her face in return.  "It's not like I need a lot of sleep anyway.  And I'd be willing to bet you can think of better things for us to do." 

 

"Oh, I’m sure between the two of us we can come up with something."  He laughed wickedly and rolled them over, resting between her thighs.  

 

Thinking about it for a moment, he seemed to hit on something, “You said you’ve picked up on a few things over the years.  Right?”  Arching an eyebrow at her when she nodded, he murmured, “So was there ever anything you heard about that sounded particularly interesting?  Anything you ever thought about trying?"  

 

The heavy-lidded look of desire that stole across her face was answer enough.  

 

"What?"  His voice grew deeper, huskier as he stared into her dark chocolate eyes, almost drowning in them.  "What is it, Maxie?  What turns you on?"

 

It was almost impossible to look away from his intense gaze.  She closed her eyes for a moment, tempted to hide her face in his chest, but the thought of finally experiencing her fantasy pushed her through her residual shyness.  Opening them back up, she answered, "Well, there was this one book Kendra gave me."  She let herself get sidetracked for a moment, still a bit overwhelmed by the level of intimacy they’d progressed to.

 

"She has a real wild side.  Was always going on about her boyfriend - Mr. Multiples she called him."  A little nervous giggle escaped her.  "I always figured she was full of it.  Never really thought it was possible to have multiple orgasms, to have orgasms at all for that matter.  But you sure shot that theory all to hell."  

 

Alec smirked, amused by her stall tactic.  "I guess I have."  Leaning down, he placed a trail of wet kisses around the edges of her lips, moving down her neck to the hollow of her throat and breathing out his words over the damp path he'd created, "But what about the book, Maxie?  What did you want to try?"

 

She shivered beneath him, her head arching back against the pillows, a throaty groan leaving her lips as she whispered, "Maybe it’s our animal DNA… rearing its head, but it sounded really exciting to me.  I don’t particularly care for the term used to describe it though.”

 

“What?”

 

“Doggie-style?”  She blushed furiously, her eyes darting to his, unsure of his reaction.

 

His eyes dilated, becoming stormy green as he stared at her and licked his lips.  "Oh yeah."  A sexy grin engulfed his face.  "That is a good one."  Then a hint of warning shadowed his eyes, "But it can get a bit rough.  I’ve heard some of the guys talking about it and apparently when we’re with another of our own kind, it stirs up some of our more… animalistic instincts.  Probably ‘cause it’s a classic mating position in the wild.”  A slight flush of discomfort heated his cheeks.  “But whatever the reason, we have a tendency to lose control.”

 

She met his gaze steadily, taking note of his muted concern, and then shrugged.  "Well I’m not made of glass, you know.  I'm pretty sure I can handle anything you dish out.”  Smiling reassuringly when he didn’t look completely convinced, she put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.  “You’re not going to hurt me Alec.  So take a page out of your own book and relax already."  

 

Stunned anew by the trust she had in him, he gave in and closed the slight gap between them, covering her lips with his.  His tongue pressing inside and finding hers, his hands creeping into her hair and holding her steady for his kisses.

 

Max didn't resist, encouraging him instead, her hands roaming over his back and shoulders, her fingers digging into his biceps as she became lost in him, his earthy scent, his heated skin, the erotic taste of his mouth.  "Mmm…” she made a moue of protest when he left her lips and slid off her.

 

Pushing at her shoulder, he whispered, "Turn around, baby."   

 

Realizing what he was up to, she complied instantly, rolling away from him and stopping on her left side with her back to him when his right hand curled around her waist and pulled her back against him.  "That's far enough for now."  

 

Spooning into her, he braced himself up on one elbow and nuzzled through her hair, baring her neck to him.  Then grazed his lips over her barcode and neck, up to her ear and back down again, his tongue and teeth tracing the curve of her shoulder while she shivered against him.    

 

"Alec."  His name escaped her lips on a breathy moan as her right hand reached back to comb through his hair, holding him to her.  Her hips squirming against his, feeling his erection settle in the cleft of her ass.

 

Looking up for a moment at the sound of his name, he groaned appreciatively when he noticed something.  “How the hell did I miss that earlier?”  When she glanced back at him confused, he nodded toward the full-length mirror on the dresser in front of them.  “Look at us Maxie.”  He smiled wickedly at her reflection when she gasped at the sensual picture they made.

 

She almost didn’t recognize herself.  Her eyes heavy lidded with a definitely sultry slant; her pouty lips swollen and red from his kisses.  Small bruises – love marks – adorning her neck, shoulders, and breasts, while her nipples were tightly peaked and begging for attention.  And there was Alec curled around her, his eyes alight with sin and mischief, his hand splayed possessively atop her abdomen, and full lips tilted up into the sexiest grin she’d ever seen on him.

 

He smoothed his hand out over her body, stroking along her side, caressing her thighs and spreading them as his right leg slid between them, pressing intimately against her and feeling her silky moisture coat his thigh.  He groaned against her neck, his hand gliding leisurely over her skin and moving up to cup her breasts, fondling her nipples and rolling them between his fingers while they both watched. 

 

Mesmerized, she arched into his hand, sliding her hips back and forth along his thigh as she abandoned herself to his touch.  Her mouth falling open on a sigh, tongue wetting her lips as she tilted her head to give him better access to her neck.  Her hands moving to join his, stroking both their bodies.

 

After several minutes, he sat up, curving an arm around her slender waist and pulling her up on her knees to join him, making sure they were angled toward the mirror as he knelt between her legs.  Max settled eagerly in his lap, leaning her head back against his shoulder.  Her arms curving up behind their heads, displaying herself to full advantage while her fingers played in his hair and skimmed over his barcode.  

 

His arms wrapped around her, one hand recapturing a breast while the other slid down between her spread legs.  His fingers delving into her damp curls and teasing along her entrance before dipping inside, his thumb pressing against her clit and rubbing in a tantalizing counter rhythm.  As pure pleasure began flowing through her, her eyes drooped closed involuntarily. 

 

“Maxie.”  Pausing until she reopened her eyes, he murmured, “Gotta watch us, baby.  I wanna be able to see how good I’m making you feel and look into those gorgeous eyes of yours when I make you come.”  When she nodded her assent, he began caressing her again, nibbling along the side of her neck and dragging a hoarse cry from her lips.  His hands working in concert; each touch building on the one before it, stoking the flames between them.

 

She could feel him behind her, hard as a rock, his erection throbbing against her ass and she rubbed against him in time with the movement of his fingers, deliberately trying to entice him.  Watched his eyes darken and become hooded, his gaze roaming hungrily over her reflection as he nipped at her earlobe.  The scent of testosterone and musk - of aroused alpha male - oozing from him and surrounding her, driving her crazy.  The erotic images inundating her brain just icing on the cake.

 

Feeling the tension rising in their bodies, Alec's hands skated up to her shoulders and he pushed her forward, onto her hands and knees in front of him.  The feline inside him growling its approval at the sight.  Dragging his palms down the curve of her spine, he cupped her ass, stroking up and down between her legs, gathering more and more of her sweet honey on his fingers and teasing her unmercifully.  "Like that, Maxie?  Maybe up for trying something a little bit different?"

 

"Mmhmm."  She arched her back and pushed back against him, gasping when he found a particularly naughty spot, carefully preparing her and then penetrating with the tip of his left index finger.  Shocked, her eyes darted to his, caught their half-feral voracious gleam, and she promptly forgot her protest.  _I love it when he looks at me like that.  Like I'm the only woman he could ever possibly want.  He's so hot.  So sexy._

 

"Want me, baby?"  He brushed the tip of his cock through her heat and then back and forth against her clit, slowly easing his finger in deeper and wiggling it.  His desire starting to blaze out of control as he felt her respond, her muscles slackening their grip and gradually easing his entrance.  "Need this?"

 

"Know I do.  Want you inside me."  She moaned as she moved her hips back against him more insistently, her eyes glazing over as her tongue snaked out to lick her lips.  She could feel him shaking against her, the fingers of his right hand digging into her hip while the other continued to move against her ass, his finger stroking inside her, alighting nerve endings she never knew she had.  "Now Alec.  Take me." 

 

Painfully aroused, he entered her with one forceful thrust, growling as he pressed all the way inside her, his balls coming to rest against her clit.

 

Her arms collapsed out from under her and she screamed his name into the sheets, stunned by the intensity of the sensations buffeting her - the dual penetration and incredible feeling of _fullness_ almost too much too bear.  She started shivering, panting when he immediately began to plunge in and out of her with long, hard strokes.

 

It was everything she'd ever imagined, and more.  Every primitive grunt and growl that left his lips turning her on even more.  His shaft pressing deep inside her with every thrust, repeatedly brushing up against a spot that was turning her world upside down, leaving her breathless.

 

She tried to get back up onto her hands, hell even her elbows, but Alec’s right hand slid up between her shoulder blades and shoved her back down onto the mattress, proving his dominance as he held her down easily and growled, "Mine…  Say you're mine, Max." 

 

"God…  Yes…”  Her head turned to the side as she gasped for air and her gaze got caught in his again, stunned by the fiery glow reflected in his eyes as he pounded into her, every muscle in his body shouting his absolute possession of hers.  It was erotic, and oh so exciting.  

 

Insane need flared to life inside her.  Maintaining her submissive pose, she tilted her hips up further and shoved her ass back against him provocatively, something inside her craving his complete loss of control.  "Yours…  All yours…"

 

He growled again, fiercer now as he saw the desire flashing in her eyes, and pulled his finger out of her, needing more.  Leaning over her, he nipped at her back, her neck, anywhere he could reach.  Hard put not to clamp down and break the skin by her barcode; the urge to mark her – claim her – coming on strong.  Barely overcoming the almost irresistible instinct, he pulled away slightly and slid his right hand underneath her to her breasts, squeezing her nipples as he drove inside her. 

 

"Oh!"  Whimpering now, and unable to look away from their reflection to save her life, so close to coming she could practically taste it, she cried out, "More, Alec.  Harder."  

 

Only too happy to comply, he sat up again and slammed into her, his hips almost blurring as he grabbed hers and pulled her back to meet his thrusts, the bed banging into the wall from the force of their passion, panting breaths and lusty cries saturating the air around them.

 

He stared into the mirror, completely enthralled and unspeakably aroused by the two exquisitely formed bodies he could see moving as one.  Sweat beading on their smooth skin, muscles rippling as they strained against each other, his cock glistening with the proof of her desire as he rammed into her over and over again.  

 

Unbelievably it got better, hotter, as her wild and blatantly wanton gaze meshed with his again, the naked desire and absolute need for one another they could see in each other’s faces pushing them both over the edge.  

 

With a final united cry of pleasure, they collapsed into a heap on the bed, quivering and gasping for air, still intimately joined.  Alec barely retaining the presence of mind to roll them over on to their sides to keep from crushing her.  His arms wrapping possessively around her without conscious thought as they both drifted into a languid daze, exhausted but replete.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see Chapter 1 for disclaimer and author notes.

# Chapter 6 

 

The first faint streaks of dawn were just beginning to appear on the horizon when they finally managed to rouse themselves from their stupor. 

 

“Shit, that was incredible.”  Pressing a lingering kiss into Max’s shoulder and carefully easing himself out from between her legs, Alec flopped over onto his back and groaned as he sprawled out, his body starting to complain about its recent overuse and lack of sleep. 

 

When the only response he received was silence, he turned his head to look at her.  His eyes darkening with concern as he took in the bite marks and finger-shaped bruises he’d left on her back and hips, "You alright Maxie?  I didn’t hurt you, did I?"

 

"Hmm?”  She murmured drowsily, before his questions penetrated her sex-addled brain.  Her eyes opening in surprise, she rolled to face him, stretching indolently as she stated, “No.  I’m good.  _Way_ better than good.” 

 

“Just a bit tired is all."  She was starting to feel tender in a few places actually, but the slight discomfort was a small price to pay in her mind for the absolute pleasure she’d received in return.  A satisfied smile lifting her lips, she curled back into him and draped herself across his chest, hopelessly addicted now to the intimate press of his skin, to the warmth and safety of his arms wrapped around her holding her tight. 

 

"Yeah, me too."  Relieved, he pulled her even closer, content now to linger in the peaceful, languorous mood enveloping them.  His mind drifting again as he held her and lazily stroked the velvety skin of her back, enticing a soft purr-like rumble from her. 

 

Both of them jumped several minutes later when his stomach suddenly attempted to echo the sound, at a much louder volume.  Laughing, he reluctantly eased out from under her and sat up, “Should’ve figured we’d get hungry eventually, since we skipped dinner last night.” 

 

When she started to move to get up too, he turned back toward her, caressing her cheek with his right hand before sliding it down onto her shoulder, encouraging her to lie back down.  “No, you stay put and relax.  I’ll go grab us something.”

 

Not bothering with clothes, Alec got up and strode out into the other room, making a small detour to go to the bathroom.  Heading back out into the kitchen, he washed his hands and rinsed out the empty milk jug in the sink while he considered their options for breakfast.  With not much to choose from at the moment, the decision was relatively simple. 

 

Grabbing their one and only TV tray, he quickly loaded it up with two sets of spoons and bowls, filled to the brim with cereal and milk.  A bunch of grapes he’d brought home the night before beckoned just as he was about to pick up the tray.  Grinning, he rinsed them off and added them to the pile.

 

When he got back to the bed, he found Max lying under the top sheet, curled up amongst their pillows with a huge grin on her face, looking like the proverbial cat that got the canary.  Setting the tray down beside her, he sat down facing her, unable to prevent an amused smile from lifting his lips.

 

“What?”  She eyed him curiously, one eyebrow arching up at him in question.

 

“Just you.  The look on your face right now.”  He caressed her with his eyes, admiring the radiant glow highlighting her features and the absolute contentment written in the lines of her body.  “I’d love to see you looking this way all the time.”

 

She blushed, “Why?”  Raising a hand to her face and then her hair, she sat up and tried to peek around him at the mirror; sure she must look a mess now after everything they’d done.

 

Seeing how flustered she was becoming, he rushed to reassure her.  “Relax, Maxie.  All I meant was how happy and peaceful you look.”

 

“Oh.”  Eyeing him suspiciously for a moment, but seeing his sincerity, she smiled shyly and picked up one of the spoons, helping herself to a bowl of cereal. 

 

Following her lead, Alec grabbed the other bowl and started eating too, still watching her out of the corner of his eye.  When they were both finished, he moved the tray over onto the dresser and crawled under the covers to lie down facing her.  Reaching behind him, he grabbed the grapes and brought them onto the bed between them, plucking one from the stem and offering it to her, brushing it lightly against her lips.

 

Opening up for him, she took it carefully between her teeth, biting into it and moaning as its sweet juices burst forth across her tongue, tantalizing her taste buds.  Licking her lips, she let her eyes partially close in delight.  “Mmmm.  Seems like years since I’ve tasted fruit this fresh.”  Rolling onto her side, she propped her head up on one hand and looked at him speculatively.  “Where on earth did you manage to find these?”

 

“Pike Place.”  Pleased by her reaction, he popped one into his own mouth, chewing happily.  When she parted her lips again and eyed him expectantly, he grinned and fed her another. 

 

“I ran into this Asian family selling absolutely amazing fruit and vegetables down in the Market.  Apparently they operate a cluster of rooftop hothouse gardens over in Chinatown with some of their neighbours.  Was checking out their stall and trying to figure out an angle for dealing with them when I heard one of them mention transgenics and steelheads, so I figured I’d hang tight and see which way the wind blew.”

 

“Turns out, British Eddy and his crew used to give them tons of grief, constantly stealing food and rolling them for money.  And since word of mouth has pegged transgenics as the ones responsible for running them and several other pissant gangs out of the area over the last year or so…”  He let his voice trail off.

 

“Grateful, were they?”  Max arched an eyebrow as she accepted another grape.

 

He nodded.  “Yeah, extremely.”

 

Looking thoughtful for a moment, her brow suddenly furrowed with worry.  “You don’t think they were trying to lay some sort of trap for us, do you?” 

 

He shook his head.  “I seriously doubt it.  For one thing, they were talking quietly amongst themselves in Mandarin – not something you’d expect your average white male to know – and they had what looked to be like their entire extended family right there, from an ancient grey-haired granny down to a swaddled up baby.  Not to mention they kinda freaked out when I casually joined their conversation and introduced myself.”

 

She snorted at the mental picture, “I bet.”

 

“Anyway, long story short, I managed to talk them into a sweet deal – for all of us.  Since the mob charges an arm and a leg for ‘secure’ stall rentals, I figured they’d be eager to find a way to get out of there and stop giving away most of their profits.  When I enquired about the possibility of buying all their stuff direct, they jumped at the chance.  Even agreed to give us a 15% discount off market prices since we’ll be picking it up ourselves and saving them a lot of hassle.”

 

“A win-win, all the way around then.”  She smiled at him. 

 

“Yeah.  And now we won’t have to keep relying on all the left-over crap the Russians keep pawning off on us.”

 

“Thank God.”  She made a face, sticking her tongue out.  “Most of it is barely edible.”

 

Alec rolled his eyes.  “Tell me about it.  I’m the one that actually has to try to cook with it, remember?”

 

“Yeah, yeah.  Cry me a river.”  She smirked.  “Better you than me, unless you actually _like_ risking food poisoning?”

 

Grimacing, he shook his head and then murmured dryly as he gave her another grape.  “Think I’ll pass thanks.”

 

Looking out the window behind them as he chewed on one of his own, he eyed the gradually lightening sky wistfully and then sighed, “Don’t suppose there’s any chance I could convince you to play hooky today and keep me company?  We could spend the day curled up in bed; maybe catch up on some sleep and give you a few more lessons…”  His voice trailed off enticingly.

 

Mentally reviewing her schedule and then sighing herself, Max shook her head reluctantly.  “I wish.  I’ve got to meet with Sid and Nancy at 9:30 to review their latest weapons wish list with Mole.  _Someone’s_ gotta be the voice of reason with those three, and he’s liable to kill me if I don’t show since I’ve already put them off twice.”

 

“And I’m supposed to call Gwen at around 10:30 for the next round in our negotiations, now that the holidays are over.”  She rolled her eyes and sighed again.  “Probably end up being on the phone with her for a couple hours since she seems to love throwing out potential solutions that require tons of research and consultation on our part.” 

 

Appearing thoughtful, she murmured, “You know, if her ideas weren’t quite so feasible, I’d actually be starting to wonder if she wasn’t just trying to stall us…”  Dismissing that thought, she continued, “At any rate, the rest of my afternoon will no doubt be tied up running through her latest and greatest with some of the committee members.”

 

Shrugging almost too nonchalantly, she added, “And I wouldn’t mind trying to sneak out to see Cindy later.  Maybe grab some dinner or coffee with her before I come home.  She was supposed to get back from visiting her family yesterday afternoon.”

 

Alec couldn’t help but grin knowingly as he asked, “Some serious girl talk required after the intense work out I gave you?”  He wiggled his eyebrows mischievously.

 

“Maybe.”  She tried to scowl at him, but couldn’t quite hold the expression, finally caving and laughing at the look of extreme satisfaction lighting up his face.  “Alright, alright.  Don’t get _too_ cocky there, smart ass.”  She poked him in the ticklish spot she’d found along the side of his ribs, making him jump.

 

“Hey!”  His eyes dancing with barely restrained mirth, he grabbed her hand and pulled it up to rest over his heart instead.  “I think I’ve more than earned that right after last night, don’t you?"

 

Still laughing a bit, she arched an eyebrow at him, “Yeah, but just ‘cause you kept your promise and rocked my world about a thousand times over, does _not_ mean I won’t lay a smack down on your ass if you provoke me too much either.”

 

“Ooo.  Sounds kinky.”  He grinned even wider and threw in a leer for good measure.  “You do realize I’d probably enjoy that, Maxie.”

 

Speechless for a moment at the insinuation, she finally cocked her head at him and deliberately winked, determined not to be outdone.  “Well _that_ kinda defeats the purpose of punishment, now doesn’t it.  But you never know, pretty boy.  You play your cards right and I might just take you up on that…”

 

Laughing delightedly at her teasing response, especially with the telltale blush tinting her cheeks, he leaned over and kissed her, lingering for a minute in the softness of her lips before lying back down and resuming feeding them both grapes. 

 

After several minutes passed, he broke the companionable silence, “So I was wondering...”  His voice trailed off as he tried to figure out a tactful way to bring it up and then shook his head.  “Never mind.  It's nothing."

 

She tilted her head at him, curious at his sudden hesitance.  "What?"

 

He lifted a hand to brush back a lock of hair from where it had fallen in her face, before offering her the last grape.  "You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but… what does heat feel like?" 

 

Max pulled back a bit and stared at him, weighing his interest as she opened her mouth to accept it from his fingers.  Gathering her thoughts while she chewed, she finally swallowed and murmured, "It's the most uncomfortable thing you can imagine.  Your skin feels like someone shrunk it a few sizes and then stretched it back out over your body.  It gets so hot and so sensitive, it feels like it's about to peel off.”

 

“And the thing is, you'd be happy if it would, because you can feel _everything_ , even air brushing over you, and the friction of clothing on your skin drives you crazy."  She shivered and his hand reached out to stroke hers soothingly, encouraging her to continue.

 

She sighed, trying to come up with something adequate enough to describe it so he would properly understand.  “Think about the worst case of sexual frustration you’ve ever felt.”  A wry grin lifted her lips.  “I imagine the last seven months would probably cover it for you, since I can’t really picture you having much of a problem with it normally.  Although I’d guess being in Manticore was up there too.”

 

Realizing she was probably right, Alec shrugged sheepishly and motioned for her to continue.

 

“Anyway, multiply that several times and that’d probably be your starting point.  Only with heat, it keeps getting worse and can last up to three days.  You feel like you can't breathe.  You’re extremely restless and ache all over, especially inside, and all you can think about is sex.” 

 

“You’re in a constant state of excruciating arousal.  And if you try to hold out too long, it gets to the point where you just don’t care anymore.  You just want it to stop.  You'd do _anything, do damn near anyone_ to make it stop.  It doesn't matter in the slightest how ugly or repulsive they are because you need sex so bad you can taste it.”

 

Max shook her head in disgust and brought her hand up, holding her index finger and thumb a few millimetres apart.  “Hell, I once came this close to jumping Normal in his office.  Went in there determined to just ask for some time off and get the hell out of Dodge, but before I knew it… every rational thought I had flew right out the window.”  She shuddered.  “Thank God Cindy had my back and came in after me before anything happened, but that should give you some indication of how bad it gets." 

 

Alec nodded slowly, shaken by the thought, then asked, "So how did you manage to go over a year and a half without giving in to it?”

 

"It wasn't easy, that's for sure.  It's damn near impossible to retain your willpower, let alone your sanity, when your body's screaming at you like that.  Luckily, I've only had two cycles to deal with since we took down Manticore." 

 

He looked at her curiously and she answered his unspoken question.  "I figure I skipped a couple after taking out the DNA labs, probably due to all the stress my body was under adapting to the heart transplant and the virus, and being back at Manticore of course."  She sighed sadly, “But for a while there, I actually thought they'd cured me of it."

 

"No such luck, huh?"  He smiled at her sympathetically.

 

"Unfortunately not.  The next one came on hard and fast."  Max shuddered again, her eyes taking on a faraway look for a moment before she continued, "I've kinda worked out a strategy for handling them over the years - it basically involves a ton of cold showers and exercise.  _And_ trying to lock myself up somewhere far away from all men, of course.  Riding my baby sometimes helps a bit too." 

 

Alec just nodded, understanding what she meant.  “Does any of that actually work?  Make it go away or at least ease it?”

 

"No.  Nothing does really."  She shrugged fatalistically, knowing there was no point in dwelling on it anymore.  "But it does serve to distract me.  Allows me to avoid it the odd occasion if I’m really lucky.  Although that just seems to make it that much worse the next time around.”

 

“I’ve even tried taking care of it myself, but it doesn’t do any good.”  A faint blush coloured her cheeks at that admission.  “It doesn’t actually go away until the cycle runs out, or, well… until after I’ve given in to it.”

 

“And once OC found out the truth about me, she even tried to help.  At least while we were roommates anyway.  I don’t know what I would’ve done without her.”  Seeing his eyes widen dramatically and catching a hint of the smirk he’d just bitten his lips trying desperately to suppress, Max thought about what she’d just said and then rolled her eyes and shook her head as she understood.  “ _Not_ like that.  She kept a close eye on me and put the smack down on me whenever I’d start to get out of hand.  And whenever she needed to sleep, she'd handcuff me to the base of the sink in our bathroom and crash in front of the door."

 

Alec raised an eyebrow at that and she sighed.  “We had to add that after the last time I snuck out and screwed up.  Literally.”  A shiver worked its way down her spine and her eyes began to swim with emotion.

 

“Hey.”  He whispered and pulled her closer, wrapping an arm around her waist.  “Remember what I told you?  It's not your fault.  You've done the best you could.” 

 

“Yeah.  I guess.  But it never seems good enough.  Especially when I give in.”  Her voice became decidedly husky and she buried her face in the crook of his neck, trying to stave off the threatening tears.  “When I wake up naked in some strange bed and have little to no clue how I got there, where I am or who’s beside me?  I feel so sick.  I always think there’s something more I should have done.  Some way I could have prevented it.”

 

Alec swallowed the lump gathering in his throat as he felt a bit of moisture dampening his skin.  “There isn't, Maxie.”  Leaning back, he tipped her chin up to face him, staring into her shimmering eyes as he willed her to believe him.  “None of our women were able to withstand the urge back at Manticore without being put in lock down.  It was standard procedure because there was no other way of keeping them under control.  I'm amazed you've been able to resist at all on your own.”

 

She sniffed and smiled shakily at him.  “Really?”

 

“Really.”  Alec held her gaze until she calmed and nodded in acceptance, then asked.  “So where did you go this last time, three months ago?”

 

“As soon as I realized what was up, I hightailed it over to OC’s and asked her to keep an eye on me again.  Ended up dragging her out of bed it was so early.”  A puzzled frown twisted her lips.  “Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask how you knew I went into heat.  I know you ended up covering for me at HQ while I was away.”

 

“Would’ve been extremely difficult for me not to figure it out.  I woke up, about half an hour before my alarm was due to go off, to a hellishly raging hard on and you were nowhere to be found.”  He shook his head, a wry smile tilting his lips.  “But I could smell you all over the apartment.  It was intoxicating, damn near drove me crazy.  It was all I could do to keep from tracking you down.  I finally had to leave to get some relief.  I opened up all the windows to air the place out and spent the next couple nights camped out on the couch in our office.”

 

Her eyebrows rose almost to her hairline.  “It still affected you?  Even though I‘d already left?”

 

“We do have the same feline DNA, Max.  The need to mate and breed is just as instinctive for us guys as it is for you.  We just tend to get a hell of a lot more aggressive about it.  I’m surprised you managed to get away completely unscathed.” 

 

Seeing the slight confusion in her eyes, he clarified, “Remember the problem we had when Jess went into heat?”

 

“Oh God.  I hadn’t even thought of that.”  Her eyes widened.  “So why didn’t anybody come after me then?”

 

He sighed.  “There are quite a few things you still don’t know about transgenic behaviour.  Hell, for that matter, there’re things we’re _all_ still trying to sort through.  But in this case, the answer’s fairly simple, at least from a male standpoint.  Although I’m not sure you’re gonna like hearing it.”

 

Off her disgruntled look, Alec raised a hand placatingly.  “Just, try to keep an open mind, okay?  Believe me, I realize how archaic and chauvinistic some of this is gonna sound, but it’s the way the feline part of us sees things.  We have about as much control over it as you do your heat.”

 

When her expression softened, he continued, “The simplest explanation would be that unlike Jess, you already had a partial claim staked on you, so the guys probably didn’t consider you to be fair game like they did her.”

 

“A claim?”  Despite her best efforts, she could feel a bit of a frown creeping onto her face at the thought.

 

“Yeah.  Most of this shit has to do with the way we use scent.  It plays a huge role in almost everything we do: recognizing threats and each other, showing our dominance, and well, we also end up using it as a kind of internal radar of sorts, a way of ‘marking our territory’, for lack of a better term.  It’s how we show our interest in or stake a claim on a potential mate, whether it’s done intentionally or not.  Females seem to use it the same way, although to a lesser extent.”

 

He glanced at her appraisingly.  “I know you’ve only recently started to refamiliarize yourself with scenting, but have you noticed how everybody that’s in some sort of relationship carries the other person’s scent?”

 

“Yeah, I’ve wondered about that.  There seem to be different strengths depending on the couple?”

 

“Exactly.”  Pausing to think about it, he finally murmured, “The best way I can think of to describe it would be to compare the intensities to, say...  I don’t know, maybe the SPF levels of sunscreen?”

 

“Sunscreen?”

 

Alec made a face and rolled his eyes.  “I know, kind of a weird analogy, but it’s the best I can come up with off the top of my head, so just go with me on this.”

 

She eyed him dubiously, but gestured for him to continue.

 

“Well, with the scent SPF scale, there are 4 different levels of protective claim.  I guess you’d say that in Jess’s case, she wasn’t wearing any sunscreen.  Since she wasn’t involved with anyone, or spending enough time with any one guy in particular to pick up his scent, she was completely unclaimed and thus had zero protection.”

 

“That’s why it turned into such a free-for-all when she went into heat.  Since the single guys outnumber the women by a fair number – there’s only maybe a handful now that don’t carry some sort of claim – they were all extremely enthusiastic about the chance of being with her and were more than willing to fight for that right.  There was absolutely nothing else in play to help keep them in line.”

 

Max nodded to indicate her understanding, appearing decidedly intrigued as she considered his words.

 

“Second level would be similar to an SPF 15.  It’s where we were, before last night anyway.”  He gave her a small smile.  “Because we spend a ton of time together and touch each other a lot, we carry each other’s scent.  And while that serves as a light protection and warning to others that we’re semi-involved, it’s also something that’d wear off fairly quickly if we stopped spending time together.”

 

“Just like a low-level sunscreen would if you didn’t apply it frequently.”  She murmured, her face clearing as she got where he was going now.

 

“Right.  And most guys, under normal circumstances anyway, choose to honour that low-level scent as at least a partial claim.  More of a… right of first refusal than anything else, I guess, as it wouldn’t necessarily stop them from going after a woman they really wanted.  But it would at least make them think about it first.  Consider how far they’re willing to go to get her.”

 

“That being said though, heat puts a hell of a lot of strain on that level of protection.  It’ll only go so far.”  His eyes darkened forebodingly.  “Once a guy gets a good whiff of a woman’s pheromones, their own start kicking into high gear, rapidly lowering their inhibitions the longer they’re exposed to her.  So it can still be pretty dangerous for her to be found out alone.”

 

“The third level, where we’re at now, would be equivalent to an SPF 40 or so.  Jet and Sara would be another good example.  It happens with couples that have entered into a more serious relationship, usually of a sexual nature, because the intensity of intimate physical contact seems to be what increases the warning scent we broadcast to others.  It tends to be longer lasting, but will still fade over time if it isn’t maintained.  And since it is stronger, it also tends to be a much more effective deterrent.”

 

“Not very many guys will dare interfere at that level, heat or no heat, although I have seen it happen a few times.”  He frowned musingly.  “Of course, each one ended up facing an absolute shit kicking once the original claim holder caught up with them, which is probably why it doesn’t happen very often outside of heat.”

 

“And then there’s the strongest level, which is complete sun block.  It only happens with mated couples, like Rick and Lanie, and Ruben and Juli.  It’s a permanent bonding, basically our equivalent to marriage, and it’s extremely effective.  _Nobody_ messes with another guy’s mate.” 

 

Looking a bit concerned and confused, Max asked, “How does it become permanent?”

 

Sighing, he tried his best to explain, “I’m not 100% clear on the whole mating deal myself, as that’s one of the things we’re still sorting through.  But from what we’ve figured out so far, when we decide to mate, the territorial issues that hold sway in our primal instincts make us ‘mark’ each other during sex.  We bite each other’s neck, usually right around here,” he brought his hand up, brushing his fingers over the sensitive skin on either side of her barcode, “hard enough to break the skin and leave a scar.  It’s most likely something in the exchange of pheromones and blood during the process that ends up permanently sealing the couple’s claim on each other.” 

 

She just stared at him for a minute, completely stunned.  “Why didn’t I know about any of this?” she finally whispered.

 

Shrugging sheepishly, Alec murmured, “You were always too busy with other things?  And to be fair, you never really asked or seemed interested before.”

 

Realizing he was right, she sighed.  “Yeah.”  Thinking about it a bit more, her face suddenly screwed up.  “Can we back up a sec?  I’m still not really clear on something.”

 

He smiled, “Sure.  What’s bugging you?”

 

“If I only had your partial claim on me during my last heat, why was I left _completely_ alone?  Not that I’m complaining, but surely _somebody_ should have tried to come after me.  I mean, I clearly remember noticing at least a dozen guys on my way out of here that morning, and not one of them even looked twice at me.”

 

“Hmm.  You’re right.  That is weird.”  Alec frowned as he considered the problem.  “Granted, their exposure to you would’ve been relatively brief, but a low-level claim really shouldn’t have been nearly that effective.  ‘Cause you would have been seen as pretty damn tempting out there on your own, especially with your alpha status.” 

 

Suddenly putting two and two together, he groaned and closed his eyes, “Oh, shit.  And that’ll be why.”  Shaking his head, he muttered almost to himself, “Not that it’s a bad thing since it helped keep you safe, but it does complicate matters.”

 

“What?”  She asked quietly and reached out to him, confused by his reaction.

 

Feeling her hand caress his chest, he opened his eyes again reluctantly, admitting, “I’m pretty sure the only reason they left you alone was because _my_ scent on you, in combination with us living together and the high-profile relationship we’ve been portraying, basically served as a third-level claim and told every guy here that you were off limits.  Mainly because I’m _the_ Alpha.”

 

“But what does that have to do with anything?”

 

“Everything unfortunately.  If one of them had tried to go after you anyway – with my very apparent display of interest in you – it would’ve been seen as a direct challenge against me, and they’d have ended up having to fight me over it.  Not something the majority of them would’ve been keen on doing.  I can only think of maybe five or six unmated guys here with enough balls and status to seriously consider it.”

 

“You could’ve ended up fighting over me, even though we weren’t actually involved?  You’re kidding me, right?”  She stared at him astounded, her jaw dropping. 

 

“I wish I were Max.  But I would’ve done it.  And won.  As I’ve told you before, we’re _extremely_ territorial by nature.  And when you throw our instinctive need for dominance into the mix, it becomes even more of an issue.”  He scratched the back of his neck, looking a bit embarrassed. 

 

“While on the surface, a play for another guy’s girl could be seen as only that, to us guys it also has a lot to do with our status and rank in the food chain.  _Any_ challenge against our territory or authority gets dealt with seriously, usually in the form of a physical fight.  But with an alpha challenge, particularly over a potential mate?  It tends to get violent.  And bloody.  Guys get seriously hurt, especially when they’re lower ranked.” 

 

“Shit.  That sucks.”  She whispered, her eyes huge.

 

“No kidding.  Not much I can do about it though.  It is what it is.”  He sighed, his brain running a million miles a minute as he thought about what could have happened last time. 

 

“We’re gonna have to be extremely careful when you hit your next heat.  The last thing I want is to wind up beating some poor shmuck near to death just because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got overwhelmed by your pheromones.  Not to mention the huge effect that could end up having on you.”  He swallowed hard at the thought, deciding, “It’ll be best, and a hell of a lot safer for everyone concerned, if you don’t try to head over to Cindy’s this time around.  Just lock yourself up in here and we’ll figure something else out.” 

 

She eyed him for a minute, completely confused, a hint of fear playing over her features, "But I won't have a reason to go out, will I Alec?  You'll be here to help me through it, won’t you?"

 

He groaned and rolled over on to his back, staring up at the ceiling.  _How on earth do I tell her no when all I really wanna do is say yes?  There's no way I can trap her into staying with me though._ He forced himself to spit out the words."I wish to God I could.  But I can't, Max."

 

"Why not?"

 

He looked back over at her, not particularly surprised that she didn’t know about this either.  "You obviously haven't heard any of the other women talking about what happens when we get together during heat." 

 

“No.  I haven’t.  But not for lack of trying.”  She shook her head defensively and sat up, scooting around to face him and curling her feet up beside her as she tucked the sheet around herself.  “I’ve been making a concerted effort lately to get closer to the ones I work with regularly, but it’s really slow going.”

 

“Even though I’ve been trying to do as you suggested and not take it too personally, I can’t help but think a few of them are still hung up over me being an ‘09er.  At least, I’m assuming that’s what the problem is because I can’t think of anything else I could’ve done to piss them off to this extent.  Hell, Kyra and Jane still glare at me as if they’d just as soon kill me as talk to me.  Neither one of them will say more than two words to me unless absolutely necessary, and we’ve been working together on the negotiation projects for almost two months now.” 

 

She sighed miserably, missing his wince as she stared down at her lap, her fingers playing with the excess fabric draped loosely over their hips.  “And even with the ones that have warmed up to me, like Lanie and Ann and Sara?  Well, we’re nowhere near the point of having in-depth conversations about personal stuff like that yet.” 

 

Fear and curiosity warred in her eyes as she finally looked back up at him, appearing resigned to receiving bad news as she reluctantly asked, “So what's the issue with heat?  What _else_ don’t I know about?”

 

“Well, remember what I said about the fourth level of claim?”  When she nodded warily, he added, “In a lot of cases that happens by choice.  A couple actively decides that they want to mate and everything else falls naturally into place.  But in other cases, not so much.  Heat also triggers our mating and marking instincts, and it’s completely involuntary.”

 

Paling visibly as she started to understand, Max gasped.  “But why?  How?”  Her voice broke and she closed her eyes for a moment, obviously straining to reel in her emotions.

 

“We’re not entirely sure.”  Reaching out and taking her closest hand, Alec squeezed it gently and stroked his thumb over the top in an effort to soothe her, then met her gaze once more.  “The whole mating thing only came to light during the breeding program.  Up till then, we’d only experienced the first two to three levels of claim, since we weren’t technically allowed to become intimately involved with each other, and certainly never during heat.”

 

“Some still managed to find ways of course.  Got their units to cover for them so they could sneak off every once in a while during exercises, or rendezvous for the odd liaison during away missions.  But for the most part, all the sexual experience we got came from missions and the external sources that Manticore brought in to train us – prostitutes and gigolos and such – with solo ops receiving the lion’s share.”

 

“Wait a minute.  They actually trained you to...”  Even more freaked out, she trailed off, unable to voice the thought aloud.

 

He nodded, looking decidedly uncomfortable as his tone turned sarcastic.  “Of course.  After all, they couldn’t exactly send out virgins to seduce targets, now could they?  That wouldn’t have been very effective.  No.  They made damn sure we’d be able to handle ourselves in pretty much any situation we might encounter, no matter how outside the mainstream it might have been.”

 

Deliberately shrugging it off, as he really didn’t feel like getting into that now, he ploughed ahead, “Anyway, the vast majority of the breeding assignments weren’t of our own choosing.  With the DNA labs gone and the Committee no doubt riding her ass about the future viability of the program, Renfro was bound and determined to recoup her losses.  So, being the vindictive and sadistic little bitch that she was, she had the scientists pair off as many of us as they could, all based solely on physical compatibility.  Absolutely no consideration was given to any of the pre-existing emotional attachments we had to each other.” 

 

“Oh, I’m sure officially she justified it as being done to ensure the highest possible conception rates, but she also wanted to punish us.  Make sure all of us knew exactly who was boss.”  He grimaced as his tone darkened.  “She wasn’t stupid after all.  She’d had a long time to study us and become familiar with some of our more pack-like tendencies; seen how close we were to each other.  So she knew right where to turn the screws, knew exactly how to torture us.  And making us fuck each other’s love interests definitely accomplished that.” 

 

“Everybody was pissed off, and it caused a ton of tension and territorial fighting in the ranks.”  He sighed, shaking his head sadly at the memory.  “But while it definitely sucked at the time, in most cases it didn’t end up being a huge deal in the long run.  The majority eventually managed to work through it and re-establish their original claims after we got out, and that was considered the end of it.”

 

“ _Except_ for when heat came into play, like it did with 13 of the couples during the program.”  He looked up at the ceiling for a moment, appearing lost in thought.  “For the six that through exceptional luck or circumstance happened to get matched up with their main squeeze, there didn’t seem to be that much of a difference in their behaviour after.  They just ended up being closer than ever.  Inseparable even.”

 

“But for the seven that weren’t, and particularly in the three cases where the guys had been rather forcefully following their orders, to the acute distress of their partners?  Like Kyra and Jane, who already had pre-existing third-level claims on them?”  He swallowed hard, his eyes pained as they stared into hers, hating the dawning horror growing in them.  “The results were devastating, Max.”

 

“It didn’t matter one bit whether any of them actually liked their partner, couldn’t stand them, or wanted to kill them.  It didn’t even matter if they were in love with someone else because their instincts took over and permanently bound them together anyway.  And the worst part is, it didn’t magically smooth things over and create any kind of emotional attachment between them.  Instead they all wound up with this weird mental block that effectively ensures monogamy, as none of them have been capable of straying, no matter how much they’ve wanted to or tried.  Their instincts just won’t let them.”

 

She gasped, “You mean...”

 

He nodded.  “They’re all screwed sexually.  The guys can’t get it up for anybody but their mate, and even if they could somehow manage, none of the other women will look at them now anyway.”  He sighed heavily, sounding hard pressed to continue.  “And the mated women are in the same boat because none of the guys will dare go near them either, even if they were involved with each other before.  What’s worse, apparently they can’t even go out and fuck ordinaries ‘cause they get absolutely no pleasure from it.  They can’t find any release except with their own mate.”

 

“So now they’re all stuck with each other.  There are no do-overs, no changing their mind, no chance of any kind of redemption whatsoever that anybody’s been able to find so far.  Once it’s done, it’s done.  That’s it.  You’re mated.  Game over.  End of story.”

 

His words hung in the air for a minute and he almost left it at that, but then forced himself to carry on, “And mating isn't even the only problem.  There's also the breeding aspect.”  When she looked even more confused and decidedly overwhelmed, he sighed, "Pregnancy, Max.  Procreation _is_ the main purpose behind heat after all.”

 

"But it's never happened before…"  Her voice was faint as she struggled to keep up, her brain spinning with all the new information he’d presented to her.

 

"You've never been with one of your own kind before either.  When Dix was digging through that file on the breeding program, he found some really interesting information.  You only heard part of the report he gave us because you got called away from that meeting to talk to Gwen.”

 

“Right,” she murmured hesitantly as she took a few deep breaths, trying to pull herself together.  “Okay, so what'd I miss?”

 

“Well apparently, when you go into heat, your fertility rate skyrockets to around 90%.  11 of those 13 couples resulted in successful pregnancies, while a twelfth ended up miscarrying early on.  We figure the only reason the rate's not higher, or at least wasn't during the program, was probably due to the stress some of the women were under, and some slight incompatibility issues.  And I'd be willing to bet there are major issues between human and X5 DNA.  Not to mention, the guys you’ve been with were probably all still with it enough to make sure they wore a condom.  Being human and all.”

 

“But with another X5?  There’s not a chance either one of us would be thinking clearly enough to take any kind of precautions."  He shook his head sadly and stared at her, giving her time to process everything he’d said. 

 

"And since Renfro paired us off together, we're probably a really good match."  She finally whispered stunned.

 

Alec nodded.  “Yeah.  So, since neither one of us wants to be permanently tied down right now, let alone have a kid…” his voice trailed off for a moment at the unwanted words, then he forced himself to continue, “it's best if you ride out your next heat by yourself.  I'll stay close by and protect you, make sure you're left alone.”

 

Max struggled to breathe, barely restraining an agonised cry at the knowledge that he didn't want her, at least not on a permanent basis.  _It is only a temporary thing for him.  A fling._ She veiled her eyes immediately, not wanting him to see how much he'd hurt her.  “Yeah.  You're right, of course,” she bit out shakily.

 

Turning away from his gaze, she made a big production out of looking out the window at the newly risen sun and rapidly brightening sky.  “Oh shit!  I’ve gotta run or I'm gonna be late.”  She jumped out of bed and rushed over to her closet, blindly grabbing some clothes and forgoing underwear and socks in her haste to get away.  _Just don't cry.  Hold it together until you're alone._   Keeping her back turned to him; she left the room and headed straight for the bathroom.

 

Sliding the door shut behind her and quickly turning on the water, she hopped into the shower, finally letting her tears fall as she tipped her head up into the spray to hide them.  _He doesn't want me as his mate.  Doesn’t want to have a baby with me.  Guess that means love is out of the question._ A hiccup/sob left her and she bit down hard on her bottom lip to stop any more from escaping. 

 

_Gotta get a grip.  I can't let him see how upset I am.  He'll probably run if I do.  As fast and as far away from me as he can seeing as he doesn't want to get permanently involved with anyone._ She struggled to control her breathing and calm herself as she swiftly scrubbed her body and hair and then rinsed off.  _I did say I'd deal if I had to.  I just didn’t want to, but I really don’t have a choice now do I.  I can't make him love me._

Desperate to get out of the apartment now before he possibly came in to check on her, she turned off the water and dried herself off with his towel since it was the only one available.  After swiftly pulling on her clothes, she glanced over her reflection and raked her fingers through her hair to tame the worst of the tangles, deeming herself presentable enough to face the gang at HQ.  _I'm just going to have to live with this._

Alec rolled over and buried his head in the pillows, growling out his frustration.  _Fuck!_   The flare of pure agony he’d seen in her eyes stayed in his head, taking up residence and refusing to leave.  _How could I do that to her?  Especially now that I know what she's going to have to go through, how bad heat really is…  I don't blame her for being upset.  I would be too.  She shouldn't have to suffer through that.  None of them should._

 

_But this is for the best.  While I'd love nothing better than to take her as my mate, to have her carry my child – our child – I know that can’t possibly be what she wants.  She’s nowhere near ready for that.  Likely won't be for quite a while.  And while she’s probably pretty mad at me right now and hurt over my refusal, she'd hate me if I forced her into that kind of situation.  I'm just going to have to live with this for now._

 

 

Max stalked out of the bathroom and hurried toward the door, not daring to look back in case she broke down again.  Grabbing her cell phone off the charger as she slipped her boots on over bare feet, she called out to him, “Gotta jet.  Enjoy your day off, Alec.”  She was proud when her voice didn't betray her.  Snagging her jacket off the hook in the alcove, she headed out the door.

 

 

Alec lifted his head and barely caught a glimpse of her back before it disappeared.  Before he could open his mouth, she was gone, the sound of her footsteps retreating down the hall.  _That went well.  Way to go, asshole._   He groaned again and buried his head back in the pillows.

 

 

**~~~~~Two and a half hours later…**

 

_So much for sleeping in on my day off…_

 

Alec lay sprawled out on his back staring blindly up at the bedroom ceiling, his brain analyzing potential solutions to their problem even as his thoughts dwelled directly on their source.  His stomach churning as he kept on seeing Max's distressed features every time he tried to close his eyes. 

 

_I’ve got to apologize.  Let her know how much I wish I could be there for her.  And that I’d still like to be with her, if she'll have me.  Just not during her heat.  I mean, she has to understand that, right?  She certainly didn't disagree with me, once she knew why I said no._

 

He sighed and nodded to himself; still convinced he'd done the right thing in the long run.  _O_ _ne night of absolutely_ _phenomenal,_ _mind-blowing sex does_ not _make a solid foundation for a permanent relationship.  Although_ _the_ _friendship_ _we've established over the past few months_ _just might…_ _given enough time and encouragement._

 

Finally giving up on getting more sleep, he levered himself up out of bed with a groan.  _I'd better not let her brood too_ _much_ _longer.  She’_ _s liable to_ _get_ _herself_ _all worked up and weirded out_ _over this_ _.  Maybe even convince herself that last night was a mistake,_ _tossing_ _me right back_ _to_ _square one with her.  And there’s no way in hell I’m going to sit back and allow that to happen.  Not now._

 

He staggered toward the bathroom.  _Right.  Shave.  Shower.  Lunch.  Apology.  Then hopefully make up with Max._   He grinned.  _There are certainly worse ways to spend my day off._

 

~~~~~

 

Max sat alone in their shared office, her phone wedged between her right shoulder and ear as she listened to Gwen talk.  _Thank God I can multi-task like there's no tomorrow.  Otherwise, I'd never be able to carry on an actual conversation with her, let alone remember a word she’s said today._  

 

Leaning back in her chair and propping her feet up on the far left edge of her desk, she stared out the row of windows lining the wall beside her, absently watching the people sparring in the exercise area below as her thoughts strayed yet again.

 

_What a difference one day can make._

_It’s hard to believe that this time yesterday, I was still so blissfully and woefully unaware.  Or maybe pathetically oblivious fits better.  But still, to go from being alone and confused, to being head over heels in love and wanting to spend the rest of my life with the guy that I once thought of as a monumental screw up?  As the biggest pain in the ass I’d ever met?  All in the space of a single night?_

_Can my life get any stranger?_

She shook her head and barely held back a snort.  _What the hell am I thinking?  Of_ course _it can.  ‘Cause my_ _life_ _just tends to suck that way.  I certainly can’t forget_ _about_ _the wild and wacky mating rituals of X5s in heat.  Or our messed up reproductive cycles.  Those rank right up there at the top of my crazy list too._

_And then there’s finding out that I’m indirectly responsible for_ _some_ _of our women being raped and forcibly mated to their assigned breeding partners.  I should’ve_ known _there’d be repercussions to taking out the DNA labs.  But_ _did I bother to think about that?  N_ _ooo.  I was so set on my own goal of taking Manticore down that I never once stopped to think about the effect it_ _might_ _have on any of the others._

_No wonder some of the_ _m_ _can barely stand to_ _look at me, let alone_ _be in the same room with me.  I don’t blame_ _'_ _em one bit.  I’d feel exactly the same way if I were in their shoes._

Murmuring her preoccupied agreement to a point Gwen had just made, she quietly sighed and then ran her fingers roughly through her hair, clenching a handful into a fist at the back of her head and tugging slightly before releasing it.  Wanting to do nothing more than scream or shout or even punch a hole in the wall.  Something.  Anything to get rid of some of the frustration and pain and uncertainty building up inside her. 

 

_I wish to God I could just tell everybody to_ _back_ _the hell off and leave me alone for a while.  What I wouldn’t give for just a few hours of peace and quiet, to actually be able to breathe and think things through properly without being interrupted._  

 

_I guess I really shouldn’t complain though.  At least I got a bit of time to myself this morning, more than I was expecting anyway, ‘cause ever since I left our apartment, everyone’s been giving me a wide berth.  The guys, in particular, have been eyeing me cautiously and keeping a respectful distance.  Probably reacting to Alec’s increased claim on me._   The thought was almost enough to make her smile. 

 

Almost.

 

_Of course, it could just be that they could se_ _e_ _how upset and distracted I was and didn’t want to risk getting their heads taken off.  Probably some combination of the two.  But either way, the result was exactly what I needed.  Even Mole, Nancy, and Sid were more subdued than usual, finishing up our meeting with little to no arguments in what’s got to be a record at just under 25 minutes._

_Which left me with just enough time to get hold of Cindy and have a minor meltdown.  Not that I really dared say much of consequence to her in case anyone was listening in.  Still, just hearing her voice helped calm me down_ _some_ _.  Hopefully it’ll be enough to see me through the rest of this day, until I can actually sit down with her and talk this bitch out.  Figure out what the hell I’m_ _supposed to_ _do now._

 

Belatedly realizing from the slightly prolonged silence that it was her turn to speak again, she admonished herself for not paying closer attention.  _Get your head in the game Max.  Screwing this up is not an option!_

Replaying the last bit in her head, she hastily rejoined the conversation, "Yes, I understand all of that Gwen, and you’ve made several extremely good points.  And I can honestly say that is not what we want either.  All we really want is to be left alone.” 

 

Unbidden, that entirely all-too-knowing voice in the back of her head whispered, _Except that’s not exactly true_ _now,_ _is it.  You don't want to be alone any more.  You want to be with Alec._  

 

Struggling to focus, she pressed on, "At the end of the day, we just want to have the same rights as everybody else.  To be able to live our lives in peace.  To be allowed to work and play, and fall in love and have families of our own."A vision of a baby with Alec's laughing green eyes and her own dark features suddenly flashed through her head, and she sighed wistfully.

_You want to mate with him.  And have his children some day, even though that's highly unlikely to happen now._  

 

Raising her left hand, she quickly brushed a few errant tears from the corners of her eyes before they could fall, irritated to no end by the emotional basket case she’d recently become.  And bound and determined to get herself back under at least some semblance of control. 

 

Closing her eyes for a moment in an effort to compose herself, she drew in a deep, calming breath and continued, “We don't want to be constantly looking over our shoulders, wondering if somebody’s going to try to kill us just because we’re different.  Don't want to spend the rest of our lives hiding and fighting and living in fear.” 

 

_You really don't want to fight with him now either.  Better to enjoy as much time with him as you possibly can_ _._

"I don't think that's asking too much.  Do you?"

She barely heard Gwen’s response as the door to her right suddenly clicked shut.  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the object of her thoughts start walking toward her and stiffened, her feet dropping to the floor as she turned to face him.  _How long_ _was he_ _standing there?_

'I'm sorry,' Alec mouthed.  Looking rather sheepish, he set two plastic containers down in front of her.  Shrugging his jacket off and tossing it behind him on his desk, he eyed her drawn face carefully, not quite as sure now of his reception.  Mole had already pulled him aside on his way up and warned him to tread lightly.  Asking rather disgruntledly exactly what he’d done to get her so riled up, since she’d seemed particularly volatile when she’d stormed in, almost as if White himself was on her heels, her eyes fairly blazing with barely repressed emotion.

 

Max surveyed the containers, her nostrils twitching as she identified the aromas emanating from them.  _Meatloaf, carrots, and mashed potatoes and gravy; probably from the mess since we don’t have much at home_ _right now_ _.  Not a bad peace offering.  At least he's trying.  And really, while he did hurt me…_ she looked up at him and slowly shook her head, resolutely dredging up a small smile as she mouthed, 'it’s not your fault.'  _After all, he can't help the way he feels, and he certainly didn’t promise me anything._

 

He smiled back, obviously relieved, and opened one of the containers for her.  Pulling out the enclosed fork, he snagged a mouthful of meatloaf and brought it up toward her lips. 

 

Leaning in to accept the proffered bite, she flipped the phone over to speaker; chewing contentedly as she slouched back in her chair, swallowing before mouthing, ‘Thanks.’ 

 

Handing her the utensil, he proceeded to open his own container and perched on the corner of his desk beside her as they ate and listened to Gwen’s long-winded proposal.  Surreptitious glances being thrown back and forth as both pretended to concentrate strictly on the matter at hand. 

 

When the conversation finally swung back to her again, Max replied, “I'd have to take that to my people for an official vote.  There are probably quite a few that wouldn't mind officially joining the military, as long as they were paid accordingly and treated with respect.  Given proper rank commensurate with their experience.” 

 

She looked over at Alec, raising an eyebrow curiously.  He shrugged, not quite sure if he'd be willing to do it or not, and helped himself to the last bite of his lunch. 

 

“But I do know that some of us would mind a great deal.  Me for one.  We went through hell, even as children; were tortured for the slightest perceived misdeed.”  She shuddered at some of the memories that came to mind.  “It would be imperative for us to be granted citizenship along with all the civil rights that entails.  We'd need to know that we're safe from any and all persecution.”

 

Getting up and setting his dirty container aside to rinse out and return later, Alec stepped in behind Max and started massaging her neck, earning him a small grateful sidelong glance.

 

Barely suppressing a groan as he discovered how unbelievably tense she actually was, despite her relatively calm outward appearance, he felt like even more of a heel.  _Absolutely brilliant move bringing up heat this morning, Dick.  She went from being the most relaxed and happy that you’ve ever seen her, to being wound up tighter than she’s been in months._   Determined to figure out some way to fix the mess he’d made of things, he carefully began working his way along her shoulders and tuned back in to what she was saying.

 

“It wasn't our fault we were created.  The government was responsible for that.  Although I doubt you'd be able to find anyone who’ll actually admit being involved.”

 

She managed to get in several bites before she had to respond again.  "All of us, living together on one base?"  Max pursed her lips as she thought about it.  "That idea could have merit, as long as it doesn't include conscription into the military and the location is acceptable.  I'd have to do some research on potential sites and check with my people."

 

She took her last bite as Gwen spoke again, and then swallowed hastily.  "All right.  We'll talk again in say… four days then?  Same time?"  She nodded.  "Good." 

 

Reaching forward to disconnect the call, she stared blankly at the phone as she mentally gathered herself, then leaned back into Alec's hands and quietly put out her own peace offering.  "I'm sorry I bailed on you like that, but it was a hell of a lot to take in.  I needed some time to think about everything." 

 

"It's okay.  I could tell you were upset and I don't blame you one bit."  Giving her shoulders a final soothing stroke, he came around in front of her and offered her his hands, gesturing behind him with his head.  “Come on.  We really should finish talking about this and we may as well be comfortable doing it.”

 

Seeing a slight protest brewing behind her eyes, he presented her with a fait accompli.  “I already asked Mole to make sure we’re not disturbed for a while,” he glanced over at the clock on the wall, “and we still have at least an hour before that time is up.  So...” 

 

Off her hesitant nod, he took her hands in his, gently tugging her up out of her chair and leading her over to the L-shaped sectional in front of her desk.  Sitting down on one side of the corner, he slowly drew her down across his lap, giving a mental sigh of relief when she brooked no further resistance. 

 

“First off, I want to apologize for the way things went down this morning.  I feel like a real ass, and I certainly didn’t mean to drop everything on you like that.”  He shook his head, disgusted with himself. 

 

“But we’d already started talking about heat and the conversation just kept flowing from one thing into another.  You kept asking more and more questions, about things you really did need to know about and…”  Alec shrugged helplessly as he tried to explain.  “Well, I couldn’t _not_ tell you by that point.  I didn’t want to leave you hanging, wondering what the hell was going on and why I couldn’t help you.” 

 

She nodded sadly and shifted to face him, curling her legs up along the outside of his left thigh.  “Don’t beat yourself up over it; you did the right thing by telling me.  Hell, I probably would’ve ended up pestering it out of you anyway because I _do_ need to know about this crap, whether I want to or not.  I’m just having a hard time dealing, is all.”

 

He sighed and reached up to cup her face in his left hand, stroking her cheek gently with his thumb.  “I really am sorry about all this Maxie.  I don't want you to have to suffer through heat alone again, especially now that I know how bad it’s going to be for you, but I don't know what else to do.  There's too much at stake here."  His eyes pleaded for her understanding.

 

“I know and I get why you said no.” _Even though I wish I didn't._   “I'm just scared I'm gonna screw up again.”  Her voice shook.  "As you've already pointed out, the consequences could be huge this time." 

 

Serious green eyes locked onto worried brown.  "You have _nothing_ to worry about on that front.  I _will_ stay close by and make sure you stay safe." 

 

"Yeah, you say that now and I can see that you mean it, but what if I manage to sneak out without you noticing?  I could end up with some jerk; mated to someone I don’t even know."  _It would kill me if that happened._ She shuddered and bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling, swallowing convulsively around the lump in her throat.

 

"I promise I won't let that happen, Max."  _It’d be over my dead body._   Alec continued to stare into her eyes, letting her see the utter conviction in his own as he reached for her hands and squeezed them reassuringly.

 

"Okay."  She nodded slowly, wanting to believe she could do it, wanting to believe in him. _He means well, but I don't know if I'm going to be strong enough to resist it this time around…_ _not_ _with the man I love standing guard right outside my door._

He sighed again, unable to miss the anxiety lurking in the depths of her eyes.  “I’ve been mulling this over all morning, trying to come up with something that might work for us in the short-term.  But I haven’t been able to think of anything that really seems feasible so far, other than maybe bringing Cindy in here to watch over you.” 

 

“We could see if we can find a place that would serve as a lockdown facility?” he offered.  “Only thing is, I can’t think of any buildings here that would be secluded enough _and_ sturdy enough as is to withstand the determined strength of a group of highly aroused transgenics.  ‘Cause the guys would be trying just as hard to break in as you girls would to break out.” 

 

He frowned, bringing his hands down to rest in her lap as she curled up into the side of the couch and got more comfortable.  “Although I suppose the basement of that admin building in Denny Park might do as a more long-term solution.  It’s fairly isolated and I don’t believe anybody’s using it.  But we’d have to find some way of permanently sealing the windows and reinforcing the structure, not to mention set up some sort of fail-safe time lock mechanism for the doors.  All of which would take time to organize.”

 

“And of course, once we did manage to secure it properly, there’s still the problem of trying to get you ladies there safely when you’re already in heat, since we don’t have the facilities or supplies available to constantly monitor hormone levels like they did back at Manticore.  We’d have to set up a group of on-call guards to escort you there instead.”  Alec continued to ramble on, not noticing the appreciative look she was giving him for the evident thought he’d put into all this.  Some of her tension easing as she realized how much he did in fact care.

 

“I’m not sure what the other women are doing to combat this.  Obviously they’ve got some sort of method in place; otherwise they’d all be mated off by now.  Best I can come up with is that they must be using a buddy system similar to you and OC, and keeping an eye on each other during their heats.”  He caught her eye.  “If you want, I could ask around and see what I can find out?”

Max shook her head definitively, looking appalled at the very idea.  “No.  I don’t want anyone else to know about this.  None of them seem overly concerned about heat since there haven’t been any complaints, so there’s no point in mentioning it, let alone setting up a facility just for me.” 

 

“It’s already hard enough having some of them look down on me for being an ‘09er’, not to mention the one who brought the whole breeding program fiasco down upon their heads.”  She sighed heavily, reaching up and absently beginning to wind strands of hair around her fingers. 

 

“I don’t want to add further fuel to the fire by being the only woman that needs to be locked up now during her heats.  How would I explain that Alec?  Especially when we’re supposed to be together.  It’d just raise all sorts of questions that I really don’t want to answer.”  Suddenly catching herself in the nervous habit as she noticed him watching her hand, she pulled it free and smoothed her hair back with it instead, looking at him pleadingly.  “It’s way too private.  I’d be mortified if it got out.”

 

“Maybe that’s why none of them have said anything either,” he murmured with sudden insight.  “Could be they feel exactly the same way as you do about it, and are just barely getting by right now.  We owe it to them to find out, Max.  They should all have options available, no matter what their reasons are for wanting to abstain; whether they’re still single, just not ready to mate, or aren’t prepared to have kids yet.” 

 

Alec lightly stroked her thigh as he tried to persuade her, “I could talk to Lanie about it – without mentioning you specifically.  I know she’s mated already so it’s probably irrelevant for her, but the others all seem to trust her so they might be willing to talk to her if she asks.  She could see if anybody’d be interested in having a safe place to go during their heats and report back to me.  I’d be willing to bet quite a few of ‘em will be relieved and jump at the chance.”

 

Biting her bottom lip as she weighed his suggestion, she finally nodded.  “Yeah, you’re probably right.  Just… make sure it’s done discreetly, okay?” 

 

“I can do that.”  He smiled gently at her, relieved to have come up with at least one solution that might pan out.  _There’s gotta be something more I can do though…_

 

She tilted her head at him in askance when his lips suddenly quirked into a devious grin.  “What?”

 

“I just thought of something else that might help.  It’s a bit underhanded, but given the circumstances…” he shrugged, “I think it’s more than acceptable.” 

 

When she kept eyeing him curiously, he continued, “Well, what with the new suggestion Gwen had today, we could send several guys out on long-term scouting missions to recon prospective base locations.  And if we just _happened_ to pick a certain handful of potentially troublesome single males to go, well, nobody but us would have to know the real reason why.” 

 

Max frowned pensively as she considered it; her hands unconsciously meshing with his in her lap.  “I suppose we could.  Except I don’t know exactly when my heat’s gonna hit.  It’s usually around every four months, give or take a week or two.  So technically, I shouldn’t be due for at least two more weeks, but it could also end up being close to another month and a half away.”  She rolled her eyes and sighed, “So making sure they’re gone when I’m actually in heat could be a problem.”

 

He shrugged it off, “I still think we could make it work.  It would take some time for them to go cross-country and check out every location.  And I’d make damn sure to give them a very extensive list,” he smirked.  “And at least this way, the ones that might actually be tempted to make a move on you would be out of the picture for a while.  So there wouldn’t be as much risk for you this time around.”

 

“Yeah.  And it is better than nothing.”  She looked at him thoughtfully.  “As for your other idea, I was already planning on running it by Cindy when I see her tonight.  If it's okay with you, I’ll ask if she’s willing to get a transfusion from you to help boost her immune system.  That way she could come in here and stay with me, help see me through it without worrying about getting sick.”  She shook her head ruefully.  “I’d offer her my blood, but I’m not sure how the virus might affect her, and I’d rather not chance it.”

 

“No problem.  If she’s good with it, tell her I can swing by in the next day or two to take care of it.  I was also thinking about picking up some deadbolts and things to help secure our place a little better.  Make it at least a little bit harder for anyone to get in or out quickly.” 

 

She nodded in agreement, still looking a bit apprehensive.

 

"Hey.  It's gonna be alright Max.  We're gonna get you through this.  I promise."  Wanting to cheer her up, and hopefully clear some of the air between them too, he continued, “I really do care about you, you know.  I value our friendship.  It’s very important to me, and so are you.” 

 

Alec looked down at their joined hands, trying to be as truthful as possible without exposing too much to her.  “I really enjoyed being with you last night and I’d love nothing better than to have a chance to continue where we left off.  But only _if_ that’s something you think you might like too.”

 

"I would."  Her heart started to soar until she realized exactly what he'd said. 

 

_Friendship?_   _Why did he throw that in like that?  Unless… that’s all he feels about me.  He cares about me only as a friend, not as a mate._ Her eyes darted to his, trying to read his carefully neutral expression. _It doesn't look promising._

 

She sighed.  _I guess we're gonna be friends with benefits._ "I sense a big but coming."

 

He nodded reluctantly.  “I don't want to rush into anything with you.  There's way too much history between us."  He smiled wryly.  "Hell, not that long ago, you were still hung up on Logan and occasionally acting like I was something gross that you’d stepped in and couldn’t get rid of." 

 

She hung her head, speechless.  _What can I possibly say to that?  It's the truth, even if it wasn't the way I actually felt._

 

"Max."  He waited until she looked back up at him.  "That's all in the past.  I already told you I've forgiven you for that.  But you can see how this is all really sudden, right?  We need to take things slow.  Give ourselves plenty of time to figure this out and decide where we want to go with it.  Let alone if we both even _want_ to go somewhere with it."

 

She forced a smile onto her face.  _This whole thing is my fault.  If only I'd treated him better, come to my senses sooner…  Why was I so mean to him?_

 

He sighed, sensing some of the worry she was trying to hide from him, "So are we good, then?  Are we agreed?  We’ll just keep things fairly casual and see what happens?"

 

"Yeah."  _I can take a step back and keep my emotions in check.  Stay away from my chosen mate during heat.  No problem._ _Should_ _be a piece of cake._ She bit back a snort at how sceptical her own thoughts sounded, and managed to nod, even conjured up a slightly more genuine smile.  “Sure.”  _I can do this for him.  I_ have _to.  Even if it kills me._

 

“Good.”  He pulled her closer, a wicked grin lighting up his face as his arms wrapped around her.  “And now that that’s settled, I think we’d better address another very important aspect of your ‘education’.  ‘Cause I figure there are probably a few romantic rituals you’re not familiar with.  Main one being that it’s customary to kiss and make up after a fight."

 

She arched an eyebrow at him and braced her hands against his chest, trying to repress the first real smile she'd felt since leaving their apartment that morning.  “Oh really?  You don’t say.”

 

He nodded decisively, wiggling his eyebrows at her.  “Yeah, and then there's the makeup sex.  It's a must.  Can’t skip that."

 

Laughter bubbled from her lips at the hopeful look on his face.  _At least he does still want me.  Thank God!_ "Well, far be it for me to break with tradition.  But you’re gonna have to wait for the sex until later on tonight, pretty boy.  ‘Cause I’ve still got work to do here, plus I have a dinner date already lined up with my home girl." 

 

Suppressing more laughter at his groan and petulant pout, she leaned in and kissed it from his lips, deliberately pushing her worries aside for the time being and letting herself get caught back up again in the man holding her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see Chapter 1 for disclaimer and author notes.
> 
> Photo in this chapter: Elegant Moments White Lace Up Bustier (photo-shopped - yes badly I know - to remove sleeves and change g-string/stockings). Similar to what I envision Max wearing. Model actually happens to look sorta like Max too.

# Chapter 7  

 

**~~~~~Late that afternoon...**

 

OC opened the door to her apartment and stared, her jaw dropping slightly as she discovered Max _and_ Alec standing outside, with his right arm draped around her shoulders as if it belonged there.  Even more surprising was the fact that Max was actually leaning into him, looking only mildly flustered at being found in that position.  Bemused, OC murmured, “Wasn’t spectin’ to see you here too.” 

 

Alec held out the box in his other hand to her and grinned cheekily, “You order a pizza ma'am?”  When she took it from him with an eye roll and semi-put out glance, he laughed and held up his hand placatingly, “Relax.  I’m not here to horn in on your ‘girl’s night’. Just had a few things to take care of outside and figured I’d walk Max over while I was at it.”  Sliding his right hand down to Max's lower back, he gently ushered her in and then followed her into the kitchen. 

 

Setting the six-pack she was carrying down on the counter, Max swiftly ditched the jacket, hoodie and gloves she was wearing, then tugged the long blonde wig from her head, easing out the pins restraining her own darker locks with a thankful sigh.  “Ugh, I hate having to wear these things.  They always make my scalp itch like crazy.”  Ruffling her fingers through her hair, she began taming it back into a semblance of order, smiling softly and blushing when Alec leaned in and brushed a stray curl behind her ear for her, his thumb stroking over her cheek and lingering there.  Both of them getting lost in each other’s eyes as he slowly drifted closer.

 

When OC cleared her throat to get their attention and turned her shrewd gaze pointedly toward the door she was still holding partially open, he chuckled and reluctantly acknowledged her, “Alright, alright, I’m goin’ already.”  

 

Turning back to Max, he dipped his head down and gave her a quick kiss.  Seeing the slightly strained look taking over her face as she eyed Cindy uncertainly over his shoulder, he murmured quietly, “I still stand by what I said on the way over.  You should just tell her, about _everything_.  You’ll feel loads better, and you know she’ll understand.”  

 

With one last significant glance at her, he added a bit louder for OC’s benefit, “Have fun tonight.  And don’t forget to watch your back on the way home; the military’s really stepped up their patrols lately.”

 

Max rolled her eyes at him and sighed.  “Yeah, yeah.  I’m not a rookie at this, remember?  I did spend 10 years on the run by myself without getting caught.”

 

“I know, but you're also pretty distracted right now and it doesn’t hurt to be extra cautious.”  Running his hand down her arm and giving her fingers a light squeeze, he finally made for the door, pausing briefly to accept a belated hug and “Take care, boo” from Cindy.

 

After closing the door behind him, she turned and pinned Max with a meaningful look.  "A'ight, _what_ was _that_ all about?  You two hittin' it now?"

 

Stalling for time, Max quickly busied herself with opening a couple beers, feeling decidedly naked beneath the all too observant eyes of her friend; all the hurt and anxiety she’d been tenaciously repressing relentlessly creeping in on her again.  Sighing as she shoved the rest of the bottles in the fridge, she finally nodded half-heartedly with a mumbled, “Sorta?” and headed for the couch with Cindy following impatiently behind her.

 

“Whadaya mean, sorta?  Either you is or you ain’t.”  

 

After handing over a beer, Max collapsed into the far corner, leaning her head back and taking a long pull off her own before allowing her mask to drop completely with a low, tortured moan, too overwhelmed to care anymore about how much raw emotion she was exposing.

 

OC settled into the cushions and tossed the pizza box down on the coffee table, not feeling particularly hungry anymore.  Every instinct she had screaming that whatever had gone down was undoubtedly major.  Eyeing her visibly distressed friend who was now staring bleakly up at the ceiling as if she were praying for some kind of divine intervention, she sighed and girded herself for battle, knowing only too well how hard it could be to get Max to open up if she didn’t want to.  

 

“C'mon boo.  You sounded damn near hysterical when you called this mornin’ - not that you look much better now - an’ ya’ know Original Cindy can’t help 'less you lay it all out for her.  So spill.  ‘Xactly what the hell happened to get yo’ panties in such a twist?”

 

Max blushed furiously, not quite sure where to start or what to tell her now that they were sitting face-to-face, even though she’d been anticipating this moment for most of the day.  Lifting her head back up and seeing the implacable stare she was being gifted with, she ran a hand back through her hair with a groan and slowly started relating everything that had happened since the last time they’d seen each other, carefully skimming over some of the decidedly more intimate details of the previous night.  And fighting back scores of tears as she took Alec’s advice to heart and finally came totally clean with her about her past and her heats as well.  The second telling not hitting her nearly as hard as the first.

 

After she’d finished, OC scooted closer and pulled her into a fierce hug, too overcome to even bother trying to find comforting words yet; just holding her and giving her plenty of time to cry herself out.  Once they’d both calmed down a bit, she pulled back and swiped at her own eyes, murmuring, “Damn girl.  That _is_ some serious shit.  No wonder yo’ so freaked.  Original Cindy don’t even know quite where to start with all o’ that mess.”

 

“You and me both.”  Max mumbled with a half-sob, half-laugh, tossing aside another sodden handful of Kleenex and reaching for more as she tried to muster up a smile.

 

“Well, we’ll figure it out together, a’ight?”  Slapping a hand on her thigh decisively, OC got up to grab them both fresh beers and another box of tissues while she tried to organize her own thoughts.  

 

Plopping back down beside her and shaking her head, still a bit stunned, she decided it best to just dive right in, “I am _so_ sorry, boo.  Knew you’d been thru some pretty awful shit ‘n’ all as a soldier girl, but never dreamt anythin’ as vile as all that coulda’ ever happened to you.  You’ve always acted so strong… so confident in almost everythin’ you do.  It just don't seem real.”  

 

“Yeah.  Guess I’ve had a bit too much practice with that.  Pretending everything’s all good kinda comes with the territory.  Part of that good ol’ Manticore training,” Max snarked deprecatingly, then sniffed, drying a few stray tears with the tissue she was currently mangling.  “Though there are times when it just seems easier to deal with that way.  Like if I don’t admit anything’s wrong, then nothing actually is, you know?”

 

“That still don’t make it right.  You were raped suga', an’ that’s a heinous thing for _any woman_ to have to deal wit’, let alone a lil’ girl.  And to have it happen ova’ an’ ova’ again?  Knowin’ it weren’t gonna quit any time soon?  That ain’t no freakin’ hangnail or walk in the park to just brush aside.”  OC reached out and covered her hand, squeezing it gently in unwavering support.  “You got _every right_ to be upset ‘bout all this.  Don’t care if heat is a natural part of life for X5 women or not.  You shouldn’t’ve had to face it like that, an’ certainly not alone.”

 

Sighing remorsefully, she murmured, “Wish you woulda told me ‘bout this sooner.  Maybe I coulda’ done more, don’t know what ‘xactly, but I woulda’ tried.  If nothin’ else, coulda least’ve given you someone to talk to, ‘stead o’ leavin’ you high an’ dry all this time.”

 

Max pulled her legs up into her chest, wrapping her arms loosely around them and resting her chin on her knees.  “Don’t feel bad, Cin’.  You had no way of knowing what was up with me and you _have_ been a big help.”

 

“As for not telling you, well…” she shrugged miserably.  “It was just too hard.  Heat’s always made me feel so ashamed and dirty, like it was all my fault, like I _chose_ to allow guys to do that to me.  And having to admit to that?  To have to own it?”  She shook her head grimly.  “I just couldn’t.  I didn’t want you to think less of me.  To see me like that.  Like I’m some cheap whore who gets off on strangers fucking her.  And hurting her.”  Her voice broke on a sob and she buried her face in her knees, trying to stem a fresh onslaught of tears. 

 

“Original Cindy _don’t even_ wanna be hearin’ that boo.  You don't _choose_ to go into heat; your body does that all on its own without your consent.  And that _ain't your fault_.”  Her voice angry now and deadly serious, she reached over to tip Max’s chin back up to face her and emphasized heatedly, “You are _not_ some cheap ‘ho.  You are one of the most _amazing_ an’ _beautiful_ women I know.” 

 

When she started to grimace, OC cut her off.  “No.  I’m serious.  And I ain’t just talkin' ‘bout the outside neither, ‘cuz while you’re plenty pretty there, that’s just packaging.  It’s what’s on the inside that matters the most an' you got a heart o’ gold, layin’ everythin’ on the line to help a brotha or sista in need."

 

"You been bustin' yo' ass for months now trying to get a fair deal for all yo' transgenic brethen.  An' how many others have you helped out over the years boo?  'Member Sketch ‘n’ them mobsters?  ‘N’ all them Eyes Only peeps?  An’ how ‘bout when them bad ass soldier dudes had me?"

 

"Hell, you even saved _Normal's_ ass, an' that's gotta be worthy of a medal right there.”  Arching an eyebrow at her and receiving a small hiccup of laughter and tentative smile in return, she continued, staring her straight in the eyes, "You care _so much_ , 'bout everyone an' everythin', an' that’s a mark o’ real beauty.”  

 

“Despite everythin’ you been thru an’ all the hell you’ve seen, you still kind-hearted an’ considerate, loyal an’ smart, an’ drop dead gorgeous an' sexy to boot.  You _damn fine_ girl, both inside an’ out, an’ _any man_ would consider himself _lucky_ to even have a _shot_ at bein' with you.”  

 

Looking at her sternly, she persisted, “You hearin’ me, sug'?  ‘Cuz Original Cindy ain’t just sayin' all o’ this to hear herself speak.  You one in a million, an’ it’s high time you start seein’ yo’self the way others do, a'ight?”

 

Max blushed and ducked her head, the compliments and obvious regard Cindy held for her touching her deeply, resounding with what Alec had made her feel as well.  The additional reassurance serving to silence at least a few of the demons lurking in her head.  Smiling shyly, she glanced back up and nodded, her eyes shimmering with emotion.  “I’m trying.”

 

Leaning over and hugging her tight, Cindy nodded determinedly, “Suppose that'll have to do for now.  But if I hear you talkin' yo'self down again, we gonna have words boo.”  Pulling back to eye her assessingly, and wanting to encourage the slightly more relaxed state Max seemed to be easing into, she reached over and grabbed the pizza box, "We should prob'ly try an' eat some o’ this 'fore it gets any colder."  

 

Offering her a slice and taking one for herself too, she took a few bites while she debated which topic to hit next, finally going with, “So... last night was yo’ first _real_ time with a guy?”

 

When Max nodded, she probed carefully, needing to be sure there wasn’t another reason behind her distress, “Alec do a’ight by you, sug’?  He didn’t hurt you none, or maybe push you into doin’ sumthin’ you weren’t quite ready for, did he?”

 

“No.”  Max looked surprised that she'd even had to ask.  “In fact, he was all ready to back off once I told him, and looked kinda freaked that he might've been pressuring me.  I had to reassure him that I was okay and actually wanted to, before he'd even consider doing anything else."  

 

"And I honestly don’t see how it’d be possible for him to have done any better, Cin’.”  Sighing dreamily as she thought back on it, a small smile curved her lips.  “He was so gentle with me, and took his sweet time making sure I was good with everything.  Least at first."  She reddened a bit as their last session flashed through her head.  

 

"God, the way he touched me and made me feel... it was... incredible... magical... as near perfect as I can imagine.  I still can’t come up with anything that even comes close to doing it or him justice."  She smiled wider and shook her head wryly.  "Remember how Kendra always used to brag about Walter being Mr. Multiples?  Well Alec _more_ than rivals him in _that_ department."

 

"Somehow Original Cindy ain't all that surprised," she murmured.  "How many times we talkin' here?"

 

Max blushed as she mentally counted, then answered sheepishly, "Eight."

 

"Damn."  OC’s eyebrows rose.  “Always figured Hot Boy had skills.”  She shook her head appreciatively, “Least that’s all good then.  Wouldn’t‘ve wanted to break a nail or sumthin’ puttin’ a smack down on him for mistreatin’ you.”  Smiling too as Max actually laughed at the thought, she took a sip of her beer before clarifying, “so you were mo’ than fine with everythin’ ‘til you two started talkin’ this mornin’?”  

 

“Yeah.  Everything was going great Cin.  He even brought me breakfast in bed...”  She grinned at the memory of him feeding her grapes.  “We were just lying there laughing and talking easy as can be, and then it all went for shit once heat came up and he had to explain about everything that could happen.”  Her face fell.  “And the thing is?  None of this is his fault.  It’s just Manticore and our own crappy biology biting us in the ass.  _Again._ ”

 

Still trying to wrap her head around everything she’d been told, Cindy asked, “So with this whole ‘mating’ deal, you could actually wind up permanently attached to another X5 – for life – if you got down an’ dirty with him during yo’ heat?  Whether you wanted him or not?  Even if you absolutely hated the fool?”

 

Max nodded morosely and took another healthy swig of her beer, really wishing she could get good and drunk for once and just tune out on reality for a while.  

 

“That is _so far_ beyond correct boo, it ain’t even funny.”  OC’s tone accurately portrayed her horrified dismay at that prospect.

 

“You’re telling me,” Max moaned, looking completely dispirited.  “And what’s worse, there really doesn’t seem to be a hell of a lot we can do to avoid it, other than abstain completely, _if_ we even can.  ‘Cause its pure instinct according to Alec.”  

 

OC shook her head sadly, grudgingly accepting the facts for what they were and moving on.  “But from what you’ve said so far, an' readin' 'tween the lines here, Original Cindy's kinda gettin' the impression you wouldn’t mind it none if it were him you wound up mated to?"  

 

When Max nodded again, a bit more tentatively this time, she asked, "You positive ‘bout that, boo?  'Cuz this is all pretty sudden, an' you wouldn't be the first to confuse a night of super hot lovin' with, well... love."  She eyed her consideringly.  "You sure you really want Hot Boy like that?  Only him, till death do you part, you bein’ his baby mama, an’ all that jazz?”

 

“Yeah, I do.  I really do.”  She sighed and put down the slice of pizza she’d been half-heartedly munching on.  “I fought him so hard OC, mainly ‘cause he scared the absolute crap out of me with how he made me feel.  And God knows, it’s taken me a helluva long time to actually allow myself to see it and accept it, but I...” taking a breath to prepare herself, she finally admitted quietly, “I love him and I want to mate with him.  I can't even imagine my life without him in it anymore.”

 

Holding her gaze for a moment, and seeing the truth shining in her best friend's miserable eyes, OC nodded determinedly.  “Well then.  Sounds to me like you’d best be doin’ sumthin’ bout that.”  

 

Max gasped.  “But I can’t tell him, Cin’.  Not when he’s made it clear he doesn’t want to go there.”

 

"Wouldn’t be too sure ‘bout that.  Sure, maybe he ain't come right out an' proposed or nothin’, but he's dropped a few hints that show he's prob'ly least halfway serious 'bout you."

 

"Like what?" Max looked highly doubtful. 

 

"Oh suga'," OC shook her head despairingly, "how can you not see it?"  When she just looked confused, she threw out one of the most telling clues.  "When have you ever known Hot Boy to go chasin' after a woman, let alone go sniffin' around for seconds the mornin' after?"

 

Not even having to think about it, Max answered automatically, "He doesn't.  Never has."

 

"Oh really?”  OC raised an eyebrow at that and smiled knowingly.  “Then what do you call what he was doin' with you this mornin'?"

 

Visibly flummoxed as that slowly sank in, Max just stared at her open-mouthed, astonished to realize she might have a point.

  

"Mmm hmm.  That’s right boo.  Even tho' he's always been a strictly one-night-stand kinda guy, _he_ came lookin' for you to make things right _and_ approached you about continuin' this thing 'tween you two.  Which ain’t exactly the normal reaction of a guy who don’t give a shit.  He has to feel sumthin’ more than just friendship for you, even if he ain’t willin’ to admit just what that is yet.”  

 

When Max started twirling a strand of hair around her finger as she thought about it, obviously afraid to get her hopes up, she sighed.  “Lemme put it this way.  If Alec weren’t even the _least_ bit interested in pursuin’ somethin’ more with you, would he risk screwin’ up your friendship just for the sake of gettin' a little booty?  Would he actually string you along like that?  I know yo’ boy use’ ta be a playa’, but do you really think, knowing everythin’ he does ‘bout you now and being as close to ya’ as he is, livin’ an’ workin’ together an’ all, that he’d do sumthin’ like that to you?  ‘Cause Original Cindy just can’t see it.  Not with the way you say he’s been treatin’ you an’ how he was behavin' here earlier.”

 

Max frowned, her brow furrowing deeply as she tried to sort out the convoluted puzzle that was Alec.  Cindy's words only underscoring his own from the night before.

 

> _"Come on Max.  I thought we were friends.  Please tell me what's wrong.  If you don’t, this isn’t gonna happen.  There’s no way I’m gonna risk screwing us up.  Not over something as stupid as sex."_

 

“An' don’t forget that he’s still workin’ this charade with you too.  He ain’t had a good reason to do that for _weeks_ now boo, yet there he is.  Stayin’ celibate the whole damn time no less; an’ seven months is a _helluva_ long time, ‘specially for a chick magnet like Alec."  Raising her eyebrows significantly, she stared Max down, "You gotta ask yourself.  Why would he _choose_ to do that?  ‘Cuz he easily coulda been out messin’ around with other honeys an’ finally gettin’ some again, but he ain’t been.  He's stayed right by your side.”

 

Looking for more evidence, seeing as how Max still didn’t appear quite convinced, OC asked, “What _exactly_ – word for word – did he say again, when he told you no this mornin'?”

 

“Since neither one of us wants to be permanently tied down right now, let alone have a kid…”Max started to repeat faithfully, only to be cut off.

 

“Hold up girl.  He actually said, ‘right now’?”

 

Max nodded, “Yeah, so?”

 

“So... that ain’t never, Max.  What else did he say, when he tracked you down?”

 

“That he didn’t want to rush into anything with me and that there was way too much history between us.  He said we needed to take things slow.  Give ourselves plenty of time to figure this out and decide where we want to go with it.  _If_ we both even _wanted_ to go somewhere with it." 

 

OC smiled.  “Well see, that certainly don’t sound like any kind of a brush off that Original Cindy's eva’ heard.  From ev’rythin’ you’ve told me, he’s not saying ‘Hell No’ to the possibility of matin’ with you.  Just not right now.  An' there’s a huge difference ‘tween the two."

 

Shrugging lightly, she explained, “Maybe the love bug just ain’t bit him yet like it has you.  That don’t mean he won’t get there eventually.  Hell, far as I’m concerned, think he may already be well on his way there sug', just not too sure what to do ‘bout it.  Gotta figure he’s prob’ly more than a little bit gun-shy when it comes to love now, what with the way Manticore screwed him over killin’ that girl o’ his.”

 

"An’ it ain’t like you’ve got the best track record for him to count on neither with all your ‘woe is me’ 'we're not even like that' bullshit with Logan.  _And_ the way you snubbed him so hard for so long.”

 

“So yeah, unfortunately, given all the drama ‘tween you two?”  She shook her head sympathetically, “I can see where yo’ boy’d wanna be extra careful makin’ sure o’ things first.  Can you honestly say you blame him for wantin’ to step on the brakes for a little while?  ‘Specially knowin’ how permanent mating would be?”

 

“No, I guess not.”  Max murmured, chewing broodingly on her bottom lip.

 

“A’ight then.  So what're you gonna do now?  We need to come up with a plan, boo."  Musing it over for a minute or two, she finally shook her head reluctantly, "Much as Original Cindy hates to admit it, you're prob'ly right 'bout not blurtin' out how you feel about 'im.  'Cuz comin' right on the heels o' last night, he'd probably think you just got swept up in it all an' wouldn't believe ya' none anyway."

 

Seeing the relieved look crossing Max's face, she rolled her eyes.  "That don't mean you off the hook sug'.  Just means, you're gonna have to start _showin'_ him how you feel instead."

 

Flushing a bit at being caught out, and looking warier by the second, Max asked, “How do you mean?”

 

"I mean that _you_ need to start makin' a _hell_ of a lot more effort where he's concerned an' give him a reason to start lookin' at you for sumthin' permanent.  You can't afford to be half-assed 'bout this.  Not if you really want him as your mate."  

 

Chin jutting out stubbornly, Max muttered, "I do, but I can't..."

 

"No boo.  Original Cindy don't wanna be hearin' no more buts or can'ts."  Eyeing her just as doggedly, she rode over her protest, "Answer me this, sug'.  How would you feel if you lost him to some other honey?  If he mated with someone else?"  

 

Smirking at the hot glare and almost inaudible growl she received for that, she drove her point home.  "What if another X5 started payin' tons of attention to him an' stole him away right out from under yo' nose, 'cuz he thought you weren't interested an' decided to mate with someone who obviously wanted him an' treated 'im like gold instead.  Imagine what it’d be like havin' to spend the rest of yo' life alone, watchin' him be with some other woman.  All 'cuz you was too proud to go after what you want."  She eyed her consideringly, "Would you be able to live with yo'self if you let that happen?"

 

"No."  Max whispered, her eyes huge and haunted in her suddenly pale face.

 

"Then you'd better be prepared to work it girl, 'cuz it's prob'ly gonna be a real bitch gettin' him to believe you're into him like that 'specially after all the grief you've given him.  So no more frontin', 'cuz that'll get you nowhere an’ you’re already behind the eight ball as is."

 

Softening her approach as she saw the fear and panic starting to blanket Max's face, she reached over and took her hand, squeezing it reassuringly and murmuring, "I know this is some hellishly scary shit for you boo, believe me, I get that.  Puttin' yo'self out there for someone to maybe reject is one o' the hardest things a body can do, but if you really want him, you gotta own up now.  You're stronger than you think girl, an' you _can_ do this.  I know you can."

 

Trying to put her a bit more at ease, she asked, "Has Alec ever given you even a hint of rejection before boo?  No matter what you've said or done to him, or what you've told him 'bout yo'self, has he ever left you in the lurch or made you feel like he thought less o' you 'cuz of it?"

 

Thinking about it, Max shook her head no almost immediately.

 

OC nodded approvingly.  "See.  Nothin’ to worry about then, so don't sweat this, a'ight?  Just take it one step at a time.  I’m not sayin' you gotta throw yo'self right at his feet, just start makin' sure he knows you appreciate him an' enjoy spendin' time with him.  Then work yo' way up from there."   

 

Still rather hesitant, but looking a bit more on board with things, Max asked, "So what specifically would you recommend I do?" 

 

"From what you've said about your charade, I get the impression he's been the one doin' the lion's share of the work, always chasin' around after you?"  When Max nodded guiltily in acknowledgement, she sighed, "Well it's high time for you to start returnin' the favor boo.  You need to start initiatin' things by approachin' him when you're out in public an' puttin' _your_ arms around _him_ for a change."

 

“You need to start flirtin’ with yo’ boy.  Talk to him, smile at him, an' pay a ton more attention to him."  At the slightly lost look she received, OC elaborated.  "Ask him 'bout himself and really listen to what he tells you.  Make him feel important an' special to you.  Just like he's done for you."  

 

Cindy smirked a bit as she added, "You should also start dressin’ up for him too an' flaunt that gorgeous little body o’ yours.  Show him what he’ll be missin’ out on if he ain’t willin’ to commit."

 

"An' speakin' of, how long’s it been since you updated yo' underwear drawer?”  OC eyed her speculatively, already having a pretty good idea of the answer she was going to get.  “And I don’t mean with that plain cotton shit you favor neither.  I’m talkin' teensy tiny colorful scraps of lace an' satin an' silk that’ll be damn sure to pop yo’ boy’s eyes right outta his head.”

 

Max blushed, remembering his own comments about lingerie from the night before.  “I don’t have anything like that.  Never really saw a need since I was the only one that was going to be seeing it.”

 

“Well that's certainly not the case anymore, so it sounds like we need to go shoppin’.  An’ you could certainly use the boost of a few brand new pretty things too.”  She smiled slyly.  “Lucky for you, Original Cindy knows just the place.  A particularly fine an' trustworthy squeeze o' mine has a shop not too far from Crash.  Carries all sorts of sexy clothes an’ lingerie an’ things.  It's where I got your lil' present actually.”

 

“But I can’t afford to actually buy anything,” Max groaned even as she fought back her embarrassment.  “Everything we have goes straight back into keeping TC afloat.”

 

“That may be, but I still have most o' the stash you left me when you moved out.  And I can’t think o’ nothin' better I'd like to spend it on.”

 

“You were supposed to use that for supplies and emergencies, since I left you in the lurch.”  Max huffed out, looking exasperated.

 

“Yeah, well life’s been pretty good lately boo, and OC hasn’t had to spend barely a penny of what y’all gave her.  ‘Cept for helping Sketch outta a jam a few weeks back, and he paid me back what he borrowed.  So don’t sweat it.”  She smirked.  “Just wish I could see Hot Boy’s face when he gets a load o’ the brand new you.  It’d be well worth the money.”

 

Standing up, she headed for the phone.  “I’ll just give Jamie a call an' make sure she’s willing to open up for us tonight.  Maybe set sumthin’ special up with her for after too.”  She wiggled her eyebrows.  “My own personal reward for helpin’ a friend in need.  So hurry up an’ finish yo’ pizza, boo.  We got work to do.”

 

**~~~~~**

 

**Later that night...**

 

After a brief pit stop at HQ to check in and drop off the wig she’d been wearing, Max finally returned to their apartment.  Pausing in the doorway, a soft smile graced her lips as she saw the violets awaiting her in the center of the island.  The flowers her personal favourite out of the wide assortment Alec had given her over the months; something he seemed to have picked up on as well since this was the third time she’d received them, and a potted plant now at that.  

 

Her mouth curving up even more when she noticed him dozing on the couch behind them, laid out on his back in a pair of low-slung navy pajama pants with one hand splayed across his lower abdomen.  A remote - for the TV playing quietly in the background - hanging loosely from his outstretched hand, almost on the verge of dropping to the floor.  

 

Carefully closing the door behind her, she placed her shopping bags down on the counter as silently as she could and removed her gloves.  Leaning over the counter to admire his latest gift, she sniffed eagerly at the delicately-scented blooms, brushing a finger gently over the velvety soft petals as her eyes closed in delight.  

 

"Beautiful."

 

Glancing up at the softly mumbled word, she met Alec's drowsy but appreciative gaze and blushed, not quite sure if he was referring to the flowers or her.  "Hey."  Smiling at him and keeping in mind everything Cindy had told her during her extended pep talk, she motioned toward the cheery hand-painted ceramic pot in front of her, "Thanks for the flowers.  I love them."

 

"You're welcome.  I figured you might enjoy a bit of a pick-me-up what with everything that went down today."  Stretching lazily, he smiled back at her as he used the remote to turn off the TV and then tossed it over on the coffee table.  "So how’d things go with Cindy?  You two have a good talk?"

 

“Yeah.  We did actually.  And you were right.”  At his slightly upraised eyebrows, she clarified, “about telling her.  It was a relief to finally get everything off my chest with her.  And while she didn’t really have any more ideas than we did for getting through this next heat, just talking things out with her helped put things in a bit better perspective.”  

 

Trying to build up her nerve for what the girls had helped her plan, Max slowly started making her way toward the alcove, eyeing the bedding piled up in the corner curiously, “What did you strip the bed for?  We don’t have any extra sheets for it.”

 

“We do now.”  When she looked over her shoulder at him surprised, he shrugged casually, “I lucked out and scored a particularly sweet set while I was out.  Was talking to a contact of mine down on the docks that deals in high end merchandise from overseas, and found out he'd just gotten some silk ones in."  He smirked.  "Since he owed me a favor anyway, and I heard they’re supposed to be pure bliss to sleep on, I couldn't resist snaring a set for us to try.  Managed to pick up a few of the other things we needed down there as well.”

 

“Silk sheets hmm?"  Her eyebrows arched appreciatively.  "That does sound pretty decadent."  She gestured at the bags she’d brought home and leaned against the edge of the counter beside them.  “We actually ended up doing a bit of shopping ourselves.  Cindy claims it’s the end-all-be-all cure for whatever ails you.  At least for women.  And it _was_ a lot of fun."  

 

Shaking her head lightly in amusement, she confessed, “I still can't believe how much I ended up getting though.  And Cindy insisted on treating me, with the money I’d left her from my stash, since she knew I wouldn't end up spending it on myself if she gave it back to me.”  

 

Alec laughed, eyeing her mischievously, "You sure about that?  'Cause technically, it kinda sounds like _you_ bought everything."

 

Laughing herself now as she thought about it, she admitted, “I guess.  At any rate, when we decided to go out, Cindy arranged for us to meet up with her new squeeze, Jamie.  She's really nice – has an amazing sense of humour and seems like a great match for her, even though she apparently swings both ways."  

 

Max grinned at the bemused look on his face.  "Yeah, I know, I was a bit surprised too at first, but they seem pretty happy together, so whatever."  Shrugging delicately, she continued, "Anyway, Jamie owns this cool little shop over by Crash and sells all sorts of... interesting... clothes and things.  We had a blast chatting and checking out her stuff.”  

 

Feeling a bit more confident now and determined to make her move, she stepped out past the edge of the island so Alec would have an unobstructed view of her, and slowly bent over from the waist to unzip and take off her boots.  Deliberately letting her fingers glide down the insides of her legs and feeling her new flirty black skirt ride up the backs of her thighs, just high enough for her to flash a provocative glimpse of lacy edged stockings and garters. 

 

Peeking back through the veil of her hair to gauge his response, she watched as his eyes trailed happily up the back of her legs, obviously enjoying the free show.  Darkening dramatically when they reached the hem of her skirt, a harsh rasp of air pulling through his lungs as he sat completely upright and turned toward her, the sudden bulge in the front of his pants more than attesting to his interest.  

 

Attempting rather unsuccessfully to clear his throat, he murmured huskily, “So... what exactly did you buy?”  His mind calculating all sorts of naughty possibilities as it dwelled on her subtly seductive movements and the way she'd drawled out the word interesting, his eyes flitting briefly over the now suspect brown paper shopping bags before he cocked his head to one side and zoomed in on her ass again with extreme fascination.  "Get anything for me?"  He managed to ask, though nowhere near as casually as he’d have liked.

 

"Mmm.  Picked up a little of this, a little of that.  You know...  Mainly girl stuff."  Max straightened just as slowly and tossed her hair back over her shoulder, keeping her back to him as she fought back a purely feminine grin of pride.  "Although..."  Drawing the word out as if re-evaluating her statement, she admitted, "I suppose there _might_ be a few things you'd like too."

 

She reached up and undid the zips on her leather jacket and hoodie, unleashing phase 2 of her 'Seduce Alec' plan.  Slipping them off, she revealed the back of what seemed to be a snug-fitting sleeveless lace blouse.  Taking a deep breath for courage while she hung her jackets up, she finally turned around to face him.

 

Alec gulped, audibly, not quite sure where to rest his gaze as his eyes darkened even further, all the blood in his body rushing due south.  The almost virginal white satin and see-through lace catching his attention first.  The provocative glimpses of sweet caramel flesh peeking through, making him suck his lower lip in between his teeth, utterly enthralled.  

 

The five satin ribbons lacing up the front of her bustier were next on his list.  They were tied loosely in bows; looking as if the simplest of tugs would release them and expose her to his gaze.  His lips quirking up into a sexy little smirk at the thought; his fingers positively itching to get a hold of them.  

 

His focus was held though by the absolutely mouth-watering display of cleavage she’d presented him with.  Her breasts damn near spilling out over the top, her nipples barely covered by the white lacy ruffles that only served to emphasize all her tantalizing golden skin.  The knowledge that there was no doubt a hell of a lot more to come, hidden just beneath her skirt, only whetting his appetite.  

 

Reaching down to adjust himself, he slouched down a bit in an effort to get more comfortable, bracing a foot against the coffee table in front of him and shoving it off to the side to get it out of their way.  His tongue darting out to lick his lips as he met her gaze from beneath hooded lids and crooked his index finger at her in a come here gesture, not quite trusting himself to speak.  

 

Smiling with obvious satisfaction, Max took her time strolling toward him, putting a very deliberate swing into her hips as she let him look his fill.  Bracing her hands on the back of the couch to either side of him and resting a knee lightly between his, she leaned over to give him an enticing view of her barely restrained breasts, whispering breathily in his ear, “So, what do you think of this?  You like?”

 

“Fuck yeah."  His voice deep and throaty, Alec growled out, "You look sexy as all hell sweetheart.  I could eat you right up.”  His hands reached out to pull her into his lap, his hungry gaze telegraphing his intent to act on those words.

 

But she shook her head and caught his with her own, pressing them to rest along the back of the couch.  “Un un, tiger.  No hands allowed.”  

 

He frowned at her, more than a little confused and annoyed.  But she just smiled widely in response, a decidedly wicked look taking over her face as she explained, “See, with some of the things the girls and I talked about tonight, I got to thinking and figured that I probably owe you one.  You know.  For that lap dance from hell I gave you over at the Blowfish?”  

 

Pleased with the lusty gleam lighting up his eyes as he realized what that meant, she nodded with a bit of a smirk and released him, “So, hands off the dancer, hmm?”  Twirling on her heel to encourage the skirt to flare up around her thighs, she headed back toward the island, deliberately stretching out over the countertop to dig into the bags, putting her ass and legs on display for him again.  Finding the CD of sexy songs she'd gotten, she put it in their player, quickly advancing to the one she wanted and turning back around to face him.  

 

_***Cue ‘Feelin Love’ by Paula Cole***_

 

As the music started, Max let her eyes drift partially closed and began undulating her hips to the beat, immersing herself in the seductive rhythm as she made her way back over to stand directly in front of him.  Feeling his gaze trying to burn a hole through her clothes as he practically devoured her with his eyes; she met his stare with one of her own and slid her hands up onto her abdomen, stroking leisurely over the expanse of lace and satin, and toying with the ribbons.  

 

_You make me feel like a sticky pistil leaning into her stamen_   
  


Her fingers rising up to skirt along the edges of her breasts before trailing up her neck and combing through her hair, her back arching as she curved her arms up over her head, her breasts coming perilously closer to spilling over.  

_You make me feel like Mr. Sunshine himself_

 

Her hips swaying sinuously – almost hypnotically – repeatedly catching his eyes as they wandered everywhere, trying to take everything in at once.  Feverishly following her hands as they worked their way back down and grazed along the edges of her cleavage, cupping her breasts and caressing them, her hardening nipples pushing out against the lace and satin; her arousal plain to see.  

 

_You make me feel like splendor in the grass where we're rollin' Damn skippy baby_   
  


Licking her lips, leisurely and with full deliberation, Max bit down on her plump lower lip and slowly released it from between her teeth, gazing at him from beneath her lashes as she leaned forward and ran her hands down between her thighs in time with the lyrics.  Her arms pressing her breasts together and straining the lace that much further.

 

_You make me feel like the Amazon's runnin' between my thighs_

 

Moaning slightly at the temptation she presented, Alec stretched his hands out along the back of the couch and clenched at the fabric to restrain himself from reaching out for her.  Licking his own lips as his breathing became harsher; the muscles of his abdomen tightening reflexively as his hips started to unconsciously mirror her movements.

 

Straightening back up as she slowly turned away from him with a grin - really getting into it now and enjoying herself immensely - she let her left hand trail up to the side zipper of her skirt, playing with it teasingly for a moment, before painstakingly pulling it down.  Adding an extra roll to her hips to encourage its descent, she felt the fabric start to slip, gradually exposing more and more skin until it finally reached the breaking point and dropped to her feet.   Her hands sliding around to fondle the flesh she'd just uncovered. 

The barely there lacy g-string, garters and gloriously curved ass cheeks that met his gaze pulled a full-on groan from Alec.  "Jesus, you're killin' me here Maxie."  Unable to resist temptation, he reached down, shoving his pants down past his hips and freeing his cock, beginning to stroke himself in time with her movements, already hard as a rock, his tip weeping generously.  

_You make me feel like a candy apple, red and horny_

 

She turned to face him once more, her eyes widening when they saw what he was up to.  His own hooded as they zeroed in immediately on the damp spot shadowing the lace at the apex of her thighs.  The heady smell of her arousal an almost unbearable lure as he growled at her, "Come here sweetheart."  His look all but saying, 'You know you want to.'

 

_You make me feel like I wanna be a dumb blonde in a centerfold, the girl next door_

Following his direction, at least somewhat, she leaned over him and licked a strip all the way up from his lower abdomen to his Adam's apple, tearing a harsh gasp from his throat as the lace ruffle brushed over the head of his cock.  

 

_And I would open the door and I'd be all wet_   
  


Her teeth nipping carefully at the underside of his jaw as she settled astride his lap, pushing his hand out of the way and pressing herself intimately against his erection, trapping it between them and rubbing up and down, moaning in the back of her throat at the feel of him, so hot and hard against her.  

 

_With my tits soaking through this tiny little t-shirt that I'm wearing_

 

Her fingers gliding over his chest and toying with his nipples as she licked and nibbled her way along his earlobe, cooing, "This work better for you baby?" 

 

_And you would open the door and tie me up to the bed_

 

Alec's hands clenched deeper into the couch as he fought to control himself.  Nodding dumbly at the rhetorical question, he began thrusting his hips up aggressively to meet hers as she started masturbating herself with his cock.  Rolling her hips against him and sliding up and down in time with the music.  Giving a particularly spectacular grind as the chorus fired up once more.  

 

"Fuck me," he groaned, his voice low and tortured.  His eyes focusing in once more on the satin ties swaying in front of him, he smiled wickedly as inspiration struck.  Full of purpose now, he left his hands where they were, leaning down instead to catch an end between his teeth, easily pulling the top bow free.

 

“Hey!”  She started to protest half-heartedly, more for show than any real desire to discourage him.

 

Eyeing her devilishly, he wiggled his fingers at her and grunted, “Not using my hands.”  

 

Willing to concede the point, she still pouted a little, drawing his gaze back up to her lips.  At least momentarily.  When he dipped his head again to go for another ribbon, she shook her head playfully and braced her hands back on his thighs, leaning away from him and forcing him to work for it.

 

More than up for the challenge, he darted his head after her, mirroring every single move she made.  Giggling helplessly, and flattered by his sheer determination to strip her, Max finally let him catch one, wrapping her arms around him and allowing him to pull her up with him when he straightened triumphantly.  

 

Trailing her fingers over his skin, she braced one hand on his shoulder as the other crept up into his hair, raising her body up to offer him better access to the rest of the laces.  The move allowing his erection to slip all the way down between her thighs, the tip grazing along the drenched lace at her slit, making both of them shudder and moan.

 

Alec swiftly went to work on the remaining ribbons, pulling them free with his teeth within seconds, and letting her direct his head with her grip on his hair as he nuzzled aside the lace and devoured her nipples, licking and biting and sucking at them, repaying her in kind for her torment of him.

 

Both of them lost now, neither one gave any more thought to her rules as his hands grabbed hold of her ass and helped her move against him. One shaking hand sliding between them and snaking over her clit, quickly shoving aside the lacy band of her g-string so he could enter her unimpeded, neither one willing to separate and waste time removing it.

 

_*** Cue 'Naughty Girl' by Beyoncé ***_

 

She threw her head back with a loud moan of pleasure as he filled her, grinding down on him enthusiastically as he lapped at her nipples.  Her fingers clenching in his hair as she pulled his head back up to hers, kissing him hungrily and nipping at his lower lip before thrusting her tongue into his mouth.

 

Alec returned her kiss with ardour, utterly committed to the sinfully wet mesh of mouths and tongues and bodies, his hands gripping her hips hard enough to leave bruises as he helped grind her pelvis down on top of his.

 

Max gasped for breath, almost ready to burst from the liquid pleasure coursing through her veins.  Shoving his hands aside and taking control, she began changing up her pace - hard and then soft, slow and then fast - owning it, owning him as she rode his cock like it was her own personal play toy, staring into his eyes the entire time and letting him see the pleasure he was giving her.  

 

Bringing her hands up between their bodies, she started playing with her own nipples, deliberately trying to drive him out of his mind.  Turned on even more when his eyes flared with red hot desire and he actually growled at her, his alpha scent oozing from him as he nipped at her jaw and darted his gaze down to watch her.  

 

His fingers digging into her ass cheeks when he'd finally had enough, pulling her down hard on top of him and holding her there as he twisted their bodies around to lie on the couch.  His eyes burning with raw need as he took over.

 

Suddenly finding herself flat on her back, Max grinned up at him with satisfaction and dug her toes into the waistband of his pants, pushing them the rest of the way off.  Licking her lips as he answered her grin with a lecherous one of his own, lifting her stocking clad legs up over his shoulders and basically bending her in half, pounding into her and driving the breath and grin from her as he set a demanding pace.  

 

Panting, and loving the sensation of him rubbing so intimately against her, feeling every single inch of him stroking deeper and deeper inside her, she let her fingers return to her breasts, pulling apart the lace and exposing herself completely to his gaze, twisting and pinching her nipples and pushing both of them ever closer to the edge.

 

Desperate for release now, Alec changed his angle slightly, pressing insistently and repeatedly up against her sweet spot, loving the high breathy moans of pleasure leaving her lips as she rapidly approached her peak.  Leaning down to press kisses over her mouth and neck, he rasped into her ear, "Come on baby, that's it, cum for me.  You feel so damn good when you do, squeezing me so tight, your body so hot and wet, it feels like I'm on fire.  And the look of bliss on your face - knowing that I've done that for you - really gets me off."   

 

Max groaned against his shoulder, her teeth clamping down onto skin as her world suddenly went molten, white hot fire exploding through her system as her body shook with pleasure.  Feeling his hips thrust hard - once - twice - and then he was holding deep inside her, grunting and swearing softly as he joined her in ecstasy, his forehead dropping down to rest against hers.

 

After a minute or two, Alec tried to move, muttering something about crushing her.  He got as far as releasing her legs and starting to pull away from her, before she wrapped her arms and legs around him and pulled him back down, murmuring, "I like you right where you are."

 

Giving in, he relaxed against her, loving the feel of her hands lightly caressing his back, her fingers splaying out and drawing little circles against his skin, one foot rubbing leisurely up and down the back of one of his calves.  Sighing happily, he searched out her lips, kissing her softly and tenderly, and just basking in the afterglow.

 

After a while, she reached down and gently pushed against his ribs, saying, "Come on lover boy, we should get you up and go to bed before you fall asleep on me here."

 

Groaning, he reluctantly pushed himself off of her and got to his feet, offering her a hand to help her up as well, his gaze lingering fondly on her half-nude body.  Taking it, she blushed hotly as she realized how debauched she must look, suddenly feeling rather self-conscious about her behavior.  

 

He seemed to get that too, all in a look, because he pulled her into his arms and looked deeply into her eyes, reassuring her, "You look incredible, and you have no idea how long or how often I've fantasized about you doing something like this.  So thank you.  You really made my night."  

 

"I did?"  She bit down on her lower lip and smiled shyly at him, relaxing a bit.

 

He nodded and looked over at her shopping bags in an attempt to detract from her unease.  "Yeah, but now I can't help but wonder what other interesting items you picked up."  Releasing her, he slowly headed toward them with a deliberate look of intent.

 

Spurred into motion, she darted in front of him and scooped them up before he could, "un un pretty boy." Holding them to her chest, she took off for the bedroom.

 

Pausing only briefly to switch off the CD, he followed in hot pursuit, whining, "Aw, come on Max.  It's not fair to tease me like this.  What else did you get?" 

 

Giggling now, she put the bags in her closet and shut the door.  "I'm not telling.  It'd spoil any further surprises I might feel like giving you.  So quit it."

 

Momentarily accepting that, with a playful nod and a grin, he began pulling back the bedcovers as she removed what was left of her clothes.  "Maybe just a few hints?" he pressed hopefully when she was done.  Taking her hand when she laughed, he tugged her back on the bed with him.

 

"You're incorrigible."  Swatting lightly at his chest, and rolling her eyes at his suddenly innocent, 'who me' look, she decided to throw him a bone.  "Well, while I won't tell you exactly what I got..."

 

He looked at her eagerly.  "Yeah?"

 

She snorted.  "You're just as bad as Cindy and Jamie.  I swear they were having a contest tonight, trying to see who could get me to blush the most.  Or the worst.  They kept on digging out all these little toys and gadgets, and then explaining what they were for.  Lotions and blindfolds, whips and handcuffs, feathers and beads, dildos and strap-ons...  God, I thought I was gonna die of embarrassment."

 

"And then they started in on the lingerie.  Some of the outfits they made me try on?"  Max felt her face flaming as she shook her head in bemusement.  "I never knew you could make something out of so little fabric and still actually have the nerve to call it clothing."

 

Alec couldn't contain himself anymore at the look on her face.  He started laughing, loudly and uncontrollably, holding up his hands defensively when she immediately came after him with fire blazing from her eyes, pressing him down onto his back and tickling him for revenge.  

 

Gasping out fervent apologies, he tried to capture her hands with minimal success.  Giving up on that, he finally started tickling her back, fingers digging in anywhere he could reach.  Laughing more as she screeched and started giggling, squirming to try to get away from him.  Rolling around on top of each other as they fought to maintain their advantage.  Their laughter swiftly dying away to become gasps and moans as their intentions shifted to more pleasurable and intriguing pursuits...  

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see Chapter 1 for disclaimer and author notes.

# Chapter 8

 

Time passed all too swiftly, and while Max was enjoying every single moment with Alec and generally feeling happier than she could ever remember being, she still hadn't made any discernible progress in her attempts at winning him over.  At least none that she could see.  Discouraged as days started slipping by into weeks with little to no change in their relationship, she began to dread waking up each day, wondering when it would herald the onset of her heat.

 

And all too soon, in the middle of the afternoon on her day off, it happened, stealing over her while she was napping.  Her dream wildly intense and insanely erotic, fuelled by all the wondrous lovemaking she'd indulged in over the past three and a half weeks.  Alec acting out one of her deepest darkest fantasies, one that had slowly been taking her over, mind, body, and soul...  

 

> _Alec sat behind her, his body wrapped around her like a glove as they sped through the dark and turbulent night back toward Seattle and home.  Her baby purring wickedly between her thighs, stirring the restlessness slowly building inside her.  Pent up adrenaline from the successful heist they'd just pulled still coursing through her system.  The highway and trees to either side rocketing past as her hair whipped around in the mid-summer breeze._
> 
> _His breath hot and teasing as it puffed out over her ear, his lips and tongue leisurely exploring her neck as he snuggled ever closer, nuzzling her skin.  His hands roaming back and forth from her breasts to her thighs, and fondling every inch of skin in between, tempting her to give in to the fire rising between them.  It was dangerous, madness, all of it – she_ knew _that with the speed they were going – but the idea all consuming and addictive just the same.  Pure recklessness overtaking her as she squirmed against the hard bulge pressing into her ass, begging raggedly ‘More.’_
> 
> _He chuckled throatily, a low husky sound that bled through her all the way down to her core, melting her from the inside out, and then a warm lazy hand began working on the zipper of her jeans, sliding inside... and down... down... down... the anticipation making her shiver.  His fingers dipping under satin and lace and discovering wet silky heat, pulling a helpless moan from her lips as they played over her and in her, stroking her relentlessly to some beat only he could hear, slowly pushing her closer and closer to the brink of insanity._
> 
> _His other hand stealing up beneath her shirt and roughly pushing aside her bra, cupping her breasts and twisting her nipples as his teeth nipped at the sensitive flesh of her neck, tormenting her by playing at the bond that she wanted so desperately.  His next words spilling out over her skin and imbedding themselves in her soul.  'You're mine Max.  You know that right.'  A bald statement - no question really in either of their minds._
> 
> _Her nod and ragged gasp 'Yes, I'm yours, please make me yours' spilling from her lips even as she lowered her head submissively to one side, baring her neck even further to him._
> 
> _His teeth suddenly clamping down around her barcode and breaking the skin as he grunted fiercely ‘MINE’._
> 
> _Feeling the word rumble through her, the possessiveness and absolute rightness of his claim slammed her over the edge.  Waves of pleasure washing over her as she screamed out his name, her body clenching around his fingers as she struggled to maintain control of her baby, finally pulling off the road and into a roadside turnout, dismounting impatiently and stumbling with him into the small clearing..._
> 
> _Alec growling as he shoved her up against the trunk of a nearby tree.  His green eyes dark, and burning into hers.  The sky suddenly opening up and pouring down around them, warm rain soaking them to the skin.  His heated hands pulling at her clothes and swiftly stripping her naked, oblivious to their surroundings, completely uncaring of any who might happen by and see them.  Moulding her body with his fingers as his lips roved over her skin, licking and chasing the rivulets streaming down her body._
> 
> _Her own hands shaking as they ripped his shirt off over his head and slid down his chest to undo the buttons on his jeans, shoving them down over his hips and grasping him in her fingers.  Hot velvety steel pulsing in her hand.  Rough bark digging into the tender flesh of her back, the harsh friction infinitely satisfying.  Every inch of her body alive and hungry, itching for him, craving the release that only he could bring..._
> 
> _Jumping up and hitching her legs around his waist, she gasped for breath when he plunged inside of her, slamming her back even harder into the tree.  Thrusting wildly, in and out, pushing her higher and higher as his lips captured hers, her vision whitening out, stars flashing behind closed lids, her head rolling back and forth against the bark as the pressure built._
> 
> _Her breath heaving through her lungs as she pressed her breasts against his chest, so close she was about to fall, she knew she was... wanted it... needed it_ soo _badly.  ‘God, Alec.  PLEASE!!!’ Her own teeth moving to his neck, her tongue licking possessively over the spot she was about to claim..._

 

Waking suddenly, her body a shaking mass of sweaty limbs and her breathing ragged and shot all to hell, Max pulled her damp camisole away from her breasts with a groan, swearing fluently at having woken up at such an inopportune moment, and realizing instantly what was wrong.  _Shit._   _It's going to be really bad this time.  I can already feel it._ She sat up in the middle of their bed, the scent of their union from the night before curling around her senses, ramping her desire up several notches.  

 

Dragging herself out of bed with a gasp, she hurried toward the shower, pulling her constrictive top and thong off along the way.  After drenching herself for about 20 minutes in freezing cold water, she finally felt a bit calmer and got out, barely drying herself off.  The towel feeling like sandpaper abrading her hyper sensitive skin.

 

Naked and shivering, she curled up on the couch and picked up her cell phone, dialling headquarters.  "Hey Dix, I'm not going to be in for a few days, something's come up." 

 

_Something's come up all right.  I just wish it were Alec._

She forced herself to concentrate, shaking her head at his worried response and squirming on the couch as her skin began to crawl again. 

"No, it's nothing serious," _at least I hope it won't be,_ _"_ but could you call Gwen's office and let her know that I'm going to have to postpone our talks slated for tomorrow.  Tell her I’m sick and that I’ll call her back in a few days to reschedule."  

 

She took a shaky breath as Alec's scent started to permeate her senses again and hurried to end the conversation.  "Great.  Thanks Dix.  Later."  

 

Quickly dialling another number, Max waited impatiently for the call to be picked up, and then spoke anxiously, “Hey Cin’.  My heat’s started.  Can you make your way over here?”

 

“Sure thing, boo.  Ya’ got great timin’.”  Tossing her messenger bag into her locker and closing it, she headed straight for the dispatch desk.  “Just gotta hand Normal some signatures and OC’ll be right on over.  Shouldn’t be more than 35 minutes or so.  We still good for me to come in on Oak?”

 

“Yeah, Mole put out the word that you’re to be let in anytime.  And Alec’s unit tends to hang out and train in the park that entrance comes out on, so you can probably ask one of them to escort you over to our building if you want.”  Max took a deep breath, trying desperately to hang on to her slipping control.  “Just… please hurry.  This one’s feels like it’s gonna be a real bitch.”

 

“Original Cindy’s all ova’ it, Suga’.”      

 

Hanging up, Max dropped the phone and got up, beginning to pace the length of the room.  "How the hell am I ever going to get through this?  I can smell him everywhere."  She moaned and ran her hands through her hair, shivering as the damp strands brushed over her skin, little drops of water breaking free and trailing down her body.  

 

Her hands ran instinctively over her own incredibly sensitive flesh, desperate to find some relief, even though she knew it was no use.  Spotting one of Alec's shirts lying on the kitchen counter, she grabbed it, cradling it close to her body and inhaling his pure masculine scent, taking it into her lungs as deeply as possible.  Something about it soothing some primal part of her, even as it pushed her arousal up even further, coaxing her to put it on, to wrap herself up in it.  In him.

 

_I've got to call him and tell him I'm in heat..._

_Or…  I could just let him come home and find out the hard way._ Her eyes glazed over at the thought.  _Mmm…  Hard…  I like the sound of that…  And he would really get hard if he came home and found me like this._

_No!  He doesn't want to mate.  At least not yet.  Remember?_   She could picture the disappointment, the absolute anger in his eyes if she forced him into that kind of situation.  Walking over to the door, she locked it and pushed the bookcase firmly in front of it before her over-heated brain went off on another tangent.  

 

_His eyes.  They're so green, so intense.  I love the way he looks at me.  How he holds me tight.  If he came home right now he'd bury himself deep inside me.  Fuck me over and over again.  He knows just how I like it too._ She licked her lips, picturing his rippling abs, his tight ass, the heat of him pressing intimately against her.  Inside her. 

 

_No!  I can't do this to him.  I've got to warn him._ She tried to hold on to her rapidly fleeing sanity.

_But I don’t have to worry about that yet…  He's not due back for a few more hours.  And would he really mind being mated to me?  He's already possessive of me and we spend all our time together anyway.  What difference would it make?_

The devil's advocate in her head stepped up to the plate.  _It would make a big difference and you know it.  Snap out of it!  You need to get through this one by yourself.  Hopefully, by the time the next one hits, you'll have managed to work things out with him enough that that'll be it.  But he'll never forgive you if you force him into mating with you now.  So don't fuck this up!_

She started crying, completely distraught, great gasping sobs racking her body.The fire starting to bleed out through her skin, every instinct in her body calling for action, craving the release that she knew only Alec could bring now.  _God help me!  I can't do this._   _I'm never going to make it.  Please hurry Cin._

Shaking, she headed back to the couch.  Picking up her cell phone, she reluctantly made the call, dialling the extremely familiar number as she started pacing again.  

 

**~~~~~Occurring at the same time as above…**

 

Alec paced the length of the rooftop for the umpteenth time as he attempted to oversee the renovations on the lockdown facility in Denny Park.  Restless and unable to sit still to save his life, he’d ended up bailing out of HQ and coming here, his body on full alert for some reason he couldn’t quite put his finger on.  Frustrated, he ran his hand back through his hair and groaned.

 

“You’re gonna put a hole through the roof if you keep this up.”  Sitting in the middle of said roof, Rick was having a hard time keeping a straight face, all too aware of what his friend and alpha was going through.  

 

He’d chosen to come and keep an eye on Alec after his mate had warned him about Max’s probable condition.  Lanie had seen and felt the signs too many times to be wrong and he knew most of the mated females seemed to have developed some kind of sixth sense about it, letting others know when to stay the hell out of the way as was the case now.  

 

While Max and Alec had both been tight-lipped about the true nature of their relationship, everyone in Terminal City had been able to see that they’d been dancing around their attraction to each other, not quite as involved as they’d been pretending for the past seven months.  They’d also sensed the instant it had become a reality, the absolute possessiveness in Alec’s eyes warning every other male away from Max.

 

Alec continued pacing, making another rapid circuit.  So distracted, he hadn’t even heard the other man.

 

Trying again, Rick spoke a bit louder, “Hello.  Earth to Alec.  Come in Alec.”

 

“Huh?”  His comments finally registering, Alec turned toward him and stopped for a moment, his fingers drumming anxiously against his thighs.  “What?”

 

“Man, are you in for it.”  Rick smiled, a knowing gleam in his eyes.

 

“What the hell are you talking about?”  Alec felt completely pissed off at his vague comment, a tiger ready to pounce at the slightest aggravation.  “In for what?”

 

“Max is coming into heat, probably sometime in the next few hours from the looks of you.”

 

Alec just stared at him, irritated to no end by the matter-of-factness in his tone.  _How could he possibly know she’s due for a cycle soon?  Neither one of us has spoken about it to anyone._

Seeing the question in his eyes, Rick elaborated, “I acted exactly the same way you are right now, just before Lanie hit her cycle and we mated.  I couldn’t sit still, couldn’t eat or sleep.  Every nerve in my body was on edge and I got testy with everyone.  I thought I was going crazy.  Couldn’t figure out what the hell was wrong with me.”  

 

He shook his head.  “I was so wrapped up in the situation; I couldn’t see what was going on for myself.  Steve finally had to point it out to me, just like I’m pointing it out to you now.  Call it a public service for the soon to be mated.”

 

Alec muttered disgruntledly, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”  _And I certainly won’t be mating today, even if Max does go into heat._

 

“Don’t I?”  Rick laughed, then corrected off his friend’s harsh glare.  “Okay, maybe _I_ don’t, but Lanie does.  So let’s go over some of the signs she told me about last night, shall we?”  He leaned back against the mechanical ductwork in an effort to get more comfortable.  “Was Max really clingy yesterday?  Touching you all the time?  Really restless and distracted?  Maybe complaining about the temperature?”

 

Alec thought hard about it, remembering how spun she’d been all day.  Almost hyper in fact.  Flitting around the office and brushing up against him constantly while they’d tried to plan his next heist.  He’d assumed it was just nerves causing her to act that way since she’d been getting increasingly high-strung about her upcoming heat.  They both had.  

 

And she had complained, more than once, about how warm it was in their office, opening up several windows and fanning herself with her hand.  But he hadn’t thought much of it, considering he’d felt a bit hot too.  Unable to get anything productive done, they’d finally thrown in the towel and went home early.  

She hadn’t gotten much better once they’d arrived either, hovering and attempting to ‘help’ him cook dinner.  Although with all the distractions she’d provided, it’d ended up partially charred, not that either of them really cared by that point.  Instead of cleaning up, they’d headed immediately over to the sofa where she’d snuggled up in his lap while they watched a movie.  

 

But she'd ended up squirming through most of it, her hands wandering all over him.  And after, well, she’d damn near attacked him, initiating a wild session of lovemaking that had lasted late into the night.  He’d put it down to the rather sexy nature of the movie turning her on, but now he wasn’t quite so sure.  

 

Rick laughed at the expression crossing his face.  “I’m right, aren’t I?”

 

Alec didn’t get the chance to answer as his cell phone rang.  Digging it out of his pocket, he answered, "Talk to me."  

 

**~~~~~**

 

Max paced restlessly, not having to wait long as her call was picked up on the second ring.  "Talk to me.”  He answered and she moaned, his deep voice shooting straight through her, down to her molten core.  

 

Taking a deep breath, she managed to get out, "A-le-ec."  She sniffled, her tears starting to dry up as her heat consumed her once more.

 

"Max.  What's wrong?"  Concern laced his voice immediately.

 

"I… it's… time."  It was hard to think now, hard to concentrate on anything but the insatiable need for him coursing through her system.  Flames of desire flickered over her skin, stealing what was left of her common sense.

 

Adrenaline racing, Alec signalled Rick to take over and jumped over the side of the building, easily making the two-story landing.  "You're in heat."  He stated as he started running toward their apartment.

 

"Oh yeah, lover.  Wanna come home and play with me?”  She purred, her voice practically dripping with sinful intent.  “I promise to make it worth your while."  

 

He swallowed hard at her suddenly seductive tone, trying not to let it affect his already overwhelmed nerves.  "No.  We're not going to do this.  Remember?  We agreed."

 

"But I want you.  Need you so bad.  I'm going crazy already, Alec.  Please…" she whined, her voice husky with need.

  

"No, Max.  Did you call Cindy?"  

 

“Yeah.”  She growled, sounding highly disgruntled.  “She’s on her way.”

 

“Good.”  He could see their apartment block in the distance now and focused in through one of the open windows, spotting the bookcase blocking the door and then gasping when he saw her.  She was wearing a button-down shirt – barely, since it was gaping wide open and hanging partially off one shoulder – and her left hand was wandering intimately over her own body as she paced restlessly.  "You need to close and lock the windows, baby.  Can you do that for me?"

 

She pouted, "Don't wanna.  It's too hot."  But she did eventually move toward them and follow his request, with little X-rated distractions thrown in along the way.

 

As he got closer, he identified the shirt she had on as the one he’d worn last night _._ His scent no doubt very fresh on it."Max, you better take my shirt off and put it away.  It's not helping you deal with this.  It's probably making things worse."

 

"I don't care, Alec.  I need to have something of yours close by."  She moaned into the phone.  "I just wish you were here touching me instead."  Her left hand moving down low on her body while she spoke, her fingers combing through her damp curls and entering her own body.  "Fucking me hard and fast.  Your cock buried deep inside me.  Filling me up with your…"

 

"Stop it."  He cut her off and growled, shaking his head in an attempt to clear the sensual images she was bombarding him with.  "It's not going to happen.  I am _not_ going to do this!"

 

Suddenly furious at his rejection, and too wound up and upset to care what she was saying anymore, she pulled her hand free and started yelling at him.  "Yeah?  Well, fuck you!  It's all about what you want and what you need, isn't it.  _You_ don't want to mate with me!  _You_ don't want to have kids!"  

 

"Max.  That's not…"

 

She screamed in frustration, not letting him finish.  "Well, what about me, you big jerk?  You've never once asked me what I want."

 

"What?"  He shouted at her, almost at the end of his rope.  
  


"I want _you_.  Not just as a friend either, you stupid fuck.  I love you!  I _want_ to mate with you and have your baby.  But you don't want that - don't want me - so stay the hell away from me!"  She spun around and threw the phone at the wall, imbedding it in the plaster.  

 

She stared at the hole she'd made, stunned out of her pique, her heat dissipating for the moment.  _Shit!  What have I done?  Why did I tell him?  Now he's gonna feel sorry for me._ She started crying again as she collapsed onto the couch, pressing her face into her hands.

 

Alec stared at the phone in his hand, flabbergasted by her impassioned rant.  _Is she serious?  Or is it just her heat talking?_ He shook his head as he thought about it.  _No.  That can't be heat.  She was too pissed off, her words too sincere and heart-felt, too filled with pain.  She loves me!  Oh God.  What the hell have I done?_

His heart started racing and he picked up his pace, blurring into their building.  He flew up the stairs, visions of Max’s pain-filled face from a few weeks ago playing over and over in his head, his own words coming back to haunt him:

 

> _"So, since neither one of us wants to be permanently tied down right now, let alone have a kid… it's best if you ride out your next heat by yourself."_
> 
> _"I value our friendship."_
> 
> _"I don't want to rush into anything with you."_
> 
> _"We need to take things slow."_

_I've been such an idiot, assuming I knew what she wanted and deliberately letting her think that I only wanted to do the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing instead of moving on to something more.  I was too afraid to open up my heart to her.  Scared she’d end up stomping on it._

Finally he reached their door, the heart-wrenching sound of her sobs filtering through to him.  An intense ache tightening his chest as the scents of her pheromone-laced sweat, sweet musk and salty tears enveloped him, lodging deep inside and sparking a chain reaction as his own hormone levels started to spike to match hers.  

 

"Max.  I'm sorry."  Alec tried the handle and found the door securely locked by the deadbolts he’d installed a few weeks ago.  Digging through his pockets, he struggled to find something to pick the locks with.  "Let me in, baby.  I didn't mean any of those things."

 

She jumped up startled, and tried to calm her ragged breathing as she crept toward the door, irresistibly drawn to him despite the anger and despair swamping her; temporarily diffusing her heat.  "Get lost!"  Sobs pierced her words."You've already… m-m-ade it clear how you… feel about me, you… p-pig.  I'm just a… f-f-friend you don't mind fucking… when it's convenient.  Not s-someone you want to… get serious with."

 

"That's not true.  The only reason I've been saying that crap is because I thought it was what _you_ wanted, because I didn't think you were ready to accept me."  Finally finding an old paperclip in his jacket pocket, he dropped it in his haste to uncurl it.  Swearing under his breath, he scooped it up off the floor and tried again.  “I _do_ want to mate with you.”

 

Part of her wanted to believe him, but knew it was impossible.  _Not after the way I treated him in the past._   “Nice try, Alec.  But you f-forget…  I know how w-well you can lie.” 

 

He growled and banged his forehead against the door; overwhelmingly frustrated by both her words and the extreme hard-on he was suddenly sporting.  Not to mention his apparent inability to unlock a simple door.  He’d managed to get one of the deadbolts open, but was stuck on the last one.  The intricate and decidedly more stubborn mechanism giving him nothing but trouble, especially with how distracted he was. “Why would I lie?  Tell me that, Maxie.”

 

“How the… h-hell should I know?  Maybe you f-feel sorry for me.  Maybe it’s my… heat affecting you.” _I have to make him give up before it’s too late and I lose the little bit of sanity I have left._ “But do you r-really expect me to believe… _you_ want to settle down?  With your h-history as…  ‘Mr. Fuck ‘em and Forget About ‘em’?”  

 

He sucked in a breath and forgot about everything else for a moment. _That hurt.  But then she probably meant it to; she is trying to get rid of me after all.  Not gonna’ happen, Maxie._

Rapidly losing his patience, he grunted, “Then why did I spend over six months pretending to be your boyfriend?  Huh?  And why haven’t I slept with anyone else since we moved in together?” 

 

She had no answer for that, but then again, she didn’t really feel like giving him the benefit of the doubt right now either.  She had to make him leave.  _Now._ His scent was starting to waft through the door and she could already feel her body reacting to it.

 

Casting about desperately for something to get rid of him, she used the only weapon left to her - a lie of her own.  “Well, it doesn’t m-matter anyway…  ‘cause it was just the heat talking.  I don’t… love you…  Don’t w-want you.  I want…  L-logan.”  It was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do, but she somehow managed to choke out the words.  

 

He growled darkly at that, unable to repress the possessive rage bubbling up at the thought of his old rival coming anywhere near her in this state, then shook his head to clear it, realizing the lie for what it was.  “Bullshit Max.  You aren’t even making sense you’re so upset, and you sure as hell wouldn’t be this defensive unless you’d meant every word.  If it _was_ just your heat, I wouldn’t still be out here arguing with you.  You’d have dragged my ass in there and had me naked already.  You wouldn’t be trying to keep me out.”  

 

Testosterone radiating from him in waves, he shoved his full weight against the barrier as he finally freed the lock.  “Now stand back, ‘cause I’m coming in."  

 

“No!”  She hurriedly backed into the alcove behind the door as the bookcase began to slide across the floor and into the entryway, tipping precariously.  "I don't want your pity, Alec.  Just… go away!”  

 

"Fuck!  It's not pity!"  He finally managed to force his way in and slammed the door shut behind him as he stalked through the kitchen, kicking off his shoes and socks and ripping his t-shirt off over his head, throwing both it and his jacket away distractedly as he stopped in front of their bedroom.  His nostrils flaring as he scanned the room, searching for his distraught mate.  Her discarded camisole and thong littering the floor between him and the bathroom, combining with her scent to tell a tale of utter frustration.  Finally sensing her presence behind him, he whirled around, pinning her with his heated gaze. 

 

She was breathtaking – not quite completely nude; damp hair curling riotously around her face and a becoming glow highlighting her tear-stained cheeks to perfection.  She looked almost fragile as she tried to become one with the wall behind her, her whole body visibly trembling.  Skin flushed from her heat, one breast fully exposed while the other’s nipple poked hard against the fabric of his shirt, the curls between her legs moist with her desire, her pheromones charging the air between them with sexual tension.

 

Dismayed and elated at the same time, she swiped a shaky hand across her cheeks to wipe away her tears, then stared at the vision before her.  Her eyes raking hungrily over his bare chest, following the ripple of muscles down his abdomen to the waistband of his jeans, the material obviously bulging as he stood to attention for her.  

 

She swallowed hard, completely enthralled by the evidence of his desire, as his fingers began undoing the buttons of his fly.  The action barely managing to pierce the cloud of desire muddling her brain again.  "Alec, no!”  

 

She pressed herself as far back into the corner as she could go, trying to retreat from the temptation he posed.  “Get the hell out of here before we do something you'll regret."  

 

"I'm not leaving, Max."  He undid his jeans and stepped out of them and his boxers to reveal his body in all its naked splendour.  As if drawn by a magnet, he padded toward her, his gaze roving possessively over every supple curve as he smiled rakishly.  “You’re mine now.”  

 

It was the final nail in her coffin.  There was no way she could resist the man she loved.  Not in her condition.  Her last coherent thought was that her attempt to save him had been in vain.  An exercise in futility.  He would hate her when this was over.  But suddenly, it didn’t matter anymore.  Her field of vision narrowed, all senses focused on him, and only him.  The building could have collapsed around them and she wouldn’t have noticed… or cared one whit.  

 

She licked her lips as his scent engulfed her, intoxicating her with his potency.  He was an alpha male, her perfect mate, able to take everything she could dish out and more, unlike all the humans she’d been forced to contend with over the years.  Every fibre of her being knew it and responded accordingly.  

 

“Mmm…  ‘Bout time, Tiger.”  She purred.  Pushing off from the wall, she stalked forward predatorily to meet him, hands roving over his skin as she rubbed wantonly against him, inciting his own mating instincts.

 

Alec growled and grabbed his shirt by the back of the collar, tearing it off her and baring her completely to his hungry gaze.  His hands digging into her hair and dragging her up against him as he became swept up in their hormones, the heat from her body nearly melting him with its intensity.  He took her mouth forcefully, his tongue hot and wet, delving deep and duelling with hers for supremacy as his fingertips massaged her scalp and neck.

 

Max stood up on her tiptoes, exulting in his attention, her fingernails digging into his shoulders, her nipples hardening further as the heat inside her exploded, driving her insane with need.  She nipped at his tongue, his lips, pushing him back toward the kitchen and knocking over several stools in her urgent rush to find a solid, horizontal surface. 

 

Feeling something hard behind him, he reversed their positions quickly, hastily sweeping the countertop bare then grabbing her hips and lifting her up on it, groaning encouragement when her legs wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer.  Neither one hearing the din as dishes and mugs shattered, and pans and silverware clattered to the floor around them.  His fingers splaying out over her back and pressing her breasts up against his chest, one hand stroking possessively down the delicate line of her spine to fondle her ass and pull her more snugly against him. 

 

Max shivered, the delightful torture of his talented fingers too much to bear in her over-sensitized state.  And his mouth, tormenting her with endless scintillating kisses, was robbing her of breath, making her head spin.  Needing more – _GOD MORE!_ – she raked her fingers up into his hair, dragging his lips down to her aching breasts and pulling him with her as she arched backward, the cold granite amazingly soothing under her inflamed skin.  

 

Allowing her to lead him for the moment, he captured one taut bud with his teeth and squeezed her other breast in the palm of his hand.  He was deliberately rough with her, biting and pinching her nipples, his instincts screaming at him that anything less would be unappreciated in her current state.  She needed to feel his strength, his stamina, needed to know that he was her equal and more in order to fully accept him as her mate.   

 

“Enough,” she moaned, the lone word husky and desperate as it left her lips.  Too wound up to put up with further foreplay and frantic to feel his hard length inside her, Max forced a hand between their bodies.  Grabbing hold of his erection, she began jacking him, slathering him with the fluid weeping from his tip.  “Now, Alec.”

 

He closed his eyes for a minute, losing himself in her touch, then felt her squeeze him dangerously tighter when he didn’t respond right away.  Glancing up from her breasts and seeing the urgency of her demand in the tense lines of her face, he leaned back and slid one hand down past her waist.  Scorchingly hot lips greeting him avidly, the molten desire flowing from her core more than attesting to her readiness for him.  

 

She gasped when three of his fingers quickly found their way inside and began finger-fucking her in earnest.  “Oh God…”  She closed her eyes, her head moving restlessly back and forth across the countertop.  Her hands fell away from him, nails scratching fruitlessly against the cold stone beneath her.  But while his fingers felt good, they certainly weren’t what her body needed.  “Please…  NOW!”

 

“Please what, Maxie?”  Alec’s dark green eyes gleamed wildly as they surveyed the glorious bounty before him, savouring the hungry glare his incensed mate-to-be was suddenly throwing his way for making her wait.

 

“You know what!”  She almost screamed in frustration, trying to sit up, to pull him down to her, to do anything to ease the ache inside her.  Her fingernails digging into his shoulders.  

 

But he easily held her down with his free hand, some baser part of his animal nature taking over, making him assert his dominance over her and ask again, “ _Please what?_ ”

 

Taking in the unyielding stare he was giving her and somehow knowing just how important it was for her to do so, especially after her denial of him earlier, she submitted to him readily, instinctively arching her upper body and head, baring her neck to him.  “I need you inside me.  Want you as my mate.”  She panted, trying desperately to appease him.  “ _Please_ Alec…  Just fuck me already.  Make me yours.”

 

The words inflamed him, his own need to possess her completely, to claim her for his own taking hold.  Removing his fingers, he plunged inside her, impaling her with one hard, fast thrust that cut straight through to her core.  A loud grunt leaving his lips, “MINE!” as he felt her tight wet heat clench around him.  Grabbing both of her hands, he meshed his fingers with hers, holding them captive above her head as he leaned down and bit the side of her neck, latching on and breaking the skin.

 

“GOD YES!!!”  Max fell back against the countertop, seeing stars, her back arching up as if drawn by a string when he pulled his hips back and then entered her again, just as forcefully.  

 

Letting go of her neck and licking her blood from his lips, Alec captured her next scream with his mouth, his tongue darting in to stroke hers, matching the feverish pace he was setting below as her ankles locked around his ass, her body embracing him fiercely to make sure she finally got what she wanted and needed so badly.  

 

**~~~~~**

 

Cindy walked through the entrance and then up the steps of Max’s building with Jet and Sara in tow.  They’d been amusing her with stories and jokes ever since she’d met up with them over on Oak Street.  

 

Stopping abruptly on the third floor landing, Jet sniffed the air curiously, his eyes darkening as he inhaled sharply and grabbed OC’s arm, dragging her back toward them.  “Hold up.  You can’t go in there.”

 

OC turned and raised an eyebrow, looking first at his hand on her arm and then up into his face.  “Think you’d better be movin’ that, ‘fore you lose it.  Original Cindy ain’t down with no rough handlin’.”

 

He stared blankly at her for a moment, his eyes glazed over, and Sara smacked him lightly upside the head to get his attention as she too realized what was wrong.  

 

Shaking his head brusquely as if trying to clear it, and still looking a bit dazed and distracted, Jet slowly released her, apologizing to them both.  “Sorry.  It’s just… _really_ not a good time for visiting.  Max and Alec are… umm… otherwise occupied right now.”  His comment only emphasized by the loud, prolonged crashing noise suddenly arising from the direction of their apartment.

 

OC’s face paled as she turned a bit and glanced down the hall.  “You mean Alec’s in there?”

 

Sara nodded decisively in total agreement.  “Oh yeah.  No doubt about it.”

 

“But they ain’t ready to mate yet!  Max called me over here to watch her an’ help keep ‘em apart.” 

 

Sara gasped, “Damn it. If I'd known I could have come over and sat with her.  At least until you got here.  But now?"  Her voice trailed off sadly as she caught Jet's eye, looking for confirmation.

 

He grimaced, sniffing and eyeing the end of the hallway contemplatively for a second before reluctantly shaking his head, muttering, "Shit.  It sucks big time, and I wish we could help, but unfortunately it's way too late to try and stop them now.”  

 

“How can you be so sure?”  OC tried to move down the hall, but stopped short as Sara darted in front of her and blocked her way, placing both hands on her upper arms and pushing her back behind Jet.  

 

“Because I can smell them both from all the way over here."  She stated.

 

Jet nodded in agreement, adding, "And the pheromones they’re emitting right now are _seriously intense_.”  He stared into OC's eyes, trying to make her understand.  “If you go in there and try to interfere?  No matter how well intentioned you are?  Alec will tear you apart with his bare hands.”

 

She snorted in disbelief and tried to move past them.  “Riiight.  Me an’ Hot Boy are boos.  Ain’t no way he’d take Original Cindy down.”

 

Sara shook her head sadly as she blocked her again.  “I’m really sorry to break this to you, but he’ll be more animal than human right now.  They both will.  Think wild, insanely horny and territorial jungle cats.  Hell, Max would probably kick your ass if you tried to go anywhere near Alec right now."

 

"And he’ll be so strung out on hormones and revved up on adrenaline by now that it’d take _at least_ a dozen transgenics to try and bring him down, let alone separate them."  Jet added, "And I really can’t think of anybody in TC that’d dare try.  Myself included.  You'd have to have a death wish to tangle with an alpha like him at a time like this.”

 

All three of them turned to stare at the door as a piercing female cry of pleasure rang out, “GOD YES!!!” 

 

Giving up as she finally realized that she was indeed too late, OC slowly turned around and headed back down the stairs with the couple, hoping and praying that both her friends would be all right in the fallout. 

 

**~~~~~**

 

Alec lost track of how many times he brought Max to climax, of how long they stayed locked together in a state of absolute bliss, the hours flying by in a haze of sweat and moans, moist passionate kisses and unbelievable fulfillment, his seed flooding her time and time again until they both lost consciousness from sheer exhaustion… 

 

**~~~~~**

 

**Late the next evening…**

 

Slowly surfacing from a few hours of badly needed sleep, Max blearily opened her eyes and stared at the dark room around her, trying to figure out where she was and why she felt so sore and disoriented.  

 

_Was I in a fight?  Maybe the National Guard or White decided to attack us?  But then why am I still in our room?  At least, I’m pretty sure this is our room._

Frowning, she looked through the doorway to confirm it.Moonlight flooded through the windows, highlighting every surface with a surreal silvery sheen as she took it all in, extremely puzzled. 

_Yup, that’s our couch, but why is it tipped over?  And why does the place look like a tornado tore through it?_

Pillows, blankets and various articles of clothing littered the floor, while their coffee table lay battered and broken amongst them with two legs collapsed beneath it.  In the entryway, their bookshelf was leaning precariously against the island, its contents strewn out halfway into the living room.  And two of their stools lie overturned on the floor in front of the island, admittedly looking none the worse for wear.  The same could not be said though for one of the thick woven curtains along the wall of windows, which was barely maintaining its grip on the rod; only one ring still attached, the bulk of its fabric lying on the floor with couch cushions scattered haphazardly around it.  

_Maybe we_ were _attacked._   

More confused than ever now, she closed her eyes and tried to focus in on her other senses, hoping they’d kick back into gear sometime soon and help her fill in the missing blanks.  The persistent fuzziness in her brain impeding her efforts as she slowly began trying to filter through and get a grasp on the magnitude of sensations inundating her.

 

The pillows and bunched up sheets beneath her felt unbelievably soft and welcoming against her sore skin, her _bare_ skin she suddenly realized, and as she opened her eyes again, she finally figured out part of the reason she felt so mixed up.  She was lying propped up halfway on her side, not quite diagonally across the bed, her head hanging partially off the bottom corner so that blood pooled dizzyingly in her brain.  

 

_What the hell?_    

 

Raising her head a bit, she took a quick inventory of her body and found it plastered with bruises and bite marks, almost every muscle aching from extreme overuse.  The overpoweringly pungent scents of sex and hormone-laden musk belatedly assaulting her nostrils, making it abundantly clear what must have happened.   

 

_Heat._

_Shit!  What have I done this time?_

Carefully pulling one of the pillows out from behind and beneath her, she rolled further over onto her back and let her gaze focus on the pair of decidedly masculine legs lying almost perpendicular to her own.  “No.”  She whispered, completely dispirited.  

 

_Better make that_ whom _have I done._   

 

Unable to get a proper scent off him through the other potent and cloying odours in the room, she started praying, not even sure who she was hoping to find or which would be worse: Alec or some stranger, preferably an ordinary although that was pretty much impossible here in TC. Neither option appealing to her, for albeitly different reasons.  

 

_Just don’t let me have mated with another transgenic.  If it isn’t Alec, I might as well kill myself now, ‘cause there’s no way on Earth I’m spending the rest of my life stuck with someone I don’t love.  Plus I’d pretty much lose all contact with him because of the whole territorial male thing we’ve got going on, not to mention his_ _own_ _policy on not getting involved with other guys’ girls._

_Hell.  I’m screwed anyway, ‘cause even if it is Alec, he’s gonna freak.  He made it perfectly clear a few weeks ago that he wasn’t ready to consider mating with me, or with anyone really, so he wouldn’t have done this voluntarily._

 

Sitting up gingerly, her abdominal muscles vehemently protesting even her slow and hesitant movements, she forced her eyes to move up his body and found her best friend and lover sprawled out on his stomach near the head of the bed with a completely relaxed expression on his face.  His gorgeous body similarly marred with the distinct addition of prominent scratches and puncture wounds all over his back and shoulders, no doubt created by her own fingernails as she looked down and saw the dried blood beneath them.  

 

The immediate relief she felt at finding him there was immense, almost a physical presence in the room and she sighed silently, even though she knew that things were still going to be a mess.  _A mess?  Yeah, right.  The shit’s gonna hit the fan more like it._

_Why did I have to go into heat now?  Why not a few months from now?  Maybe I could have gotten through to him; shown him how good we could be together._

Involuntarily, she moved closer to him, her hand reaching out to smooth his hair back from his forehead, her fingertips lightly brushing over his barcode and then tracing over the raw bite-shaped bruise she must have made on the side of his neck.  _That’s the mark he told me about.  So we did mate._

 

_How the hell did this happen anyway?  He was supposed to stay outside the building, was just supposed to guard me..._ She struggled to remember; hazy, incomplete flashes of memories starting to bombard her, filling her with dread…  

> _"But I want you.  Need you so bad.  I'm going crazy already, Alec.  Please…" she whined, her voice husky with need._
> 
> _"I just wish you were here touching me instead.  Fucking me hard and fast.  Your cock buried deep inside me.  Filling me up with your…"_
> 
> _"I love you!  I_ want _to mate with you and have your baby.”_

_I made him feel sorry for me, and drew him up here…  He wouldn’t have come if I hadn’t told him I loved him._

> _He finally managed to force his way in and slammed the door shut behind him as he stalked through the kitchen, kicking off his shoes and socks and ripping his t-shirt off over his head, throwing both it and his jacket away distractedly as he stopped in front of their bedroom.  His nostrils flaring as he scanned the room for her._
> 
> _As if drawn by a magnet, he padded toward her, his gaze roving possessively over every supple curve as he smiled rakishly.  “You’re mine now.”_

 

_And then my hormones started affecting him and it was too late, he couldn’t resist my heat._

 

> _Pushing off from the wall, she stalked forward predatorily to meet him, hands roving over his skin as she rubbed wantonly against him, inciting his own mating instincts._
> 
> _She forced a hand between their bodies.  Grabbing hold of his erection, she began jacking him, slathering him with the fluid weeping from his tip.  “Now, Alec.”_
> 
> _She submitted to him readily, instinctively arching her upper body and head, baring her neck to him.  “I need you inside me.  Want you as my mate.”  She panted, trying desperately to appease him.  "_ Please _Alec…  Just fuck me already.  Make me yours.”_

“No, no, no…” she breathed out, the words not even a whisper of a sound. _Could I be any more pathetic?  I_ threw _myself at him and forced him to mate with me.  Oh God.  He’s going to_ hate _me when he wakes up.  How could I have done this?_

Feeling sick, Max carefully eased herself off the bed and crept out into the living room as quietly as possible, desperate not to wake him.  She stopped abruptly and leaned against the kitchen counter for support, staring in shock as further evidence inundated her: a glint of metal – _my cell phone?  –_ protruding from a small hole in the wall, a body-shaped dent sculpting the plaster between the windows and the TV, and a jumble of broken dishes, silverware and pans obscuring most of the kitchen floor from view.  

 

A blush heated her cheeks as more snippets of memory assaulted her every place she looked.  

> _The plaster cracking and crumbling behind her under the intense pressure he was exerting, her legs splayed wide along his arms, his fingers squeezing her ass as he pinned her against the wall, tearing sharp, gasping moans of pleasure from her throat with every wild thrust.  The tangy taste of his blood lingering in her mouth, immense satisfaction overwhelming her as her gaze remained glued to the fresh bite mark she'd made on his neck, branding him hers._
> 
> _The rough fabric of the couch scratching her throbbing and aching nipples as she leaned over it, her legs spread wide and ass tilted up invitingly as she glanced over her shoulder at him, her look just daring him to fucking_ do it _already.  His low pitched growl as he grabbed her, his rock-hard length ploughing into her demandingly from behind, her hips held securely in his grip as he bent over her, licking and biting at his mark, muttering all sorts of highly provocative and possessive comments in her ears.  His seed, hot and wet as he finally filled her up completely.  His last hard shuddering thrust pushing them both over the edge, and the couch as well.  Strangled groans mingling as they collapsed in a heap amidst the overturned cushions._
> 
> _His hands, so strong and yet so gentle when it came to her, one laying across her stomach, holding her down as he pleasured her relentlessly.  His shoulders braced between her thighs, his tongue flicking at her nub while his talented fingers brought her to the edge of madness over and over again, making her beg mindlessly.  Whether for release or just plain more she couldn't exactly be sure.  “Stop…  Alec…  Oh God!!!  Pleeeaaase…  Don’t stop!”  Her fingers fisting in the curtains above her head as she struggled to find an anchor for the tempest he'd set raging through her._
> 
> _Sweat soaking her body as she rode him hard, the wet slapping and sucking sounds created as she moved him in and out of her body on the verge of being obscene, turning them both on even further.  Her eyes closed and head thrown back in ecstasy, her hands clutching at his chest for support, her cries of pleasure and his grunts of encouragement echoing in her ears.  The sound of wood cracking and the tilting of the surface beneath them not even a minor distraction, let alone a deterrent._

_We must have ‘christened’ damn near every solid surface in the apartment._

 

Shaking her head in disbelief, she staggered into the bathroom and slid the door shut behind her, barely able to look at herself in the mirror.  Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the matching bite mark adorning her own neck and gasped.  _Oh yeah.  We’re definitely mated._   _Not that I really had any doubts at this point._

 

_I can’t believe I did this.  I promised myself that I wouldn’t, that I’d respect Alec’s wishes.  But I just couldn’t keep my big mouth shut and now it’s too late.  I’ve ruined_ everything.She barely managed to bite back a sob.  _So much for our friendship.  He won’t want to have anything more to do with me and he’ll certainly never trust me again._

Unable to stand it a moment longer, she turned on the water and stepped into the shower, trying to wash away the guilt and pain slowly eating her up inside.

She sucked in a breath as she suddenly remembered the other possible consequence of her heat.  _I might be pregnant.  No,_ she corrected herself, _there is no might about it.  With the way we apparently went at it, a baby is pretty much a certainty._   

 

One trembling hand tentatively slid down to her abdomen, caressing the flat skin there wonderingly as she imagined the potential life growing within.  _A baby._ A small smile lit up her face.  _Never really thought of myself as the motherly type, but I’ve always gotten along good with kids._

_And you won’t be just anyone’s kid; you’ll be mine, mine and Alec’s._ She sighed. _If he lets me live that long._ And just as quickly as it came, her smile faded.

 

_Don’t worry little one.  That isn’t even a possibility; I’m just feeling a bit morbid right now.  Alec’d never physically hurt either one of us.  And while he might be tempted to try and leave me, he won’t leave you.  Your daddy’s too loyal, too responsible.  He’s proven it by the way he’s stood by me for so long, even though I was a b…, a pretty mean person to him,_ she mentally corrected.  _A long time ago, I might have thought differently, but now I know better._

_Sure he’ll be furious.  Resent the absolute hell out of me for causing all this, hate me even, but he won’t take it out on you.  He’ll want to be there, want to protect you, even protect me while I’m carrying you.  He couldn’t do any differently.  It’s just part of who he is.  It may take him a little while to get used to the idea, but I know he’s gonna love you, take care of you forever._

And while she knew she should take some comfort from that fact, the thought of spending the rest of their lives with him hating her guts, was enough to reduce her to tears.  The stressors of the past few weeks – the tense negotiations, her tenuous sexual arrangement with Alec and worrying about her heat, not to mention the physical and emotional letdown from her increased hormonal output – all proved to be too much.

 

Silent tears rained down her cheeks as she leaned her forehead against the cool tiles in front of her, her slender frame visibly trembling as she finally gave in to her despair.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see Chapter 1 for disclaimer and author notes.

# Chapter 9

 

_Mood Music:  'Say When' by The Fray_

 

Waking up alone and aching, some compelling new instinct activating and insistently alerting him to her unexpected absence, Alec slowly pushed up onto his elbows and looked around the room bewildered as he searched for his new mate.  “Max?” he called out questioningly.

 

The only answer he received was a sudden whoosh of water as the shower started in the next room, verifying her presence in the apartment.  Thus reassured, he relaxed, lying back down with a groan and indulging in a full body stretch, taking his time and painstakingly trying to ease the stiffness from his heavily overworked muscles.  Breathing in deep, he noted the distinct lack of fresh pheromones in the air with a mixture of relief and regret.  

 

_Thank God her heat’s finally over.  I think we might’ve accidently killed each other if it’d lasted much longer._ A small smirk tilting up his lips as he thought, _though if you gotta go, that's sure as hell the way I'd choose to do it!_

Rolling over, he repositioned himself on the bed, careful not to aggravate the raw scratches and gouges on his back, while visions of the previous day and a half ran through his head.  Immensely pleased as he felt the claim she’d made on him deep down in his soul, and saw the marks she’d left on his body, knowing that she’d given as good as she’d got.  _What a wildcat.  Not that I didn’t know that already, but man…_

_Now I know what the mated guys meant when they said that heat sex is insane.  Hot.  Erotic.  Wilder than anything else in the world.  A freakin' non-stop hard-core sextravaganza.  'Cause she was insatiable and so was I.  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get enough of her.  Nor will I ever want to.  No matter how much time goes by._

 

_And now she’s mine.  We’re mated and she loves me._   Satisfaction coursed through his veins at the thought.  _It doesn’t get any better than this._ He sighed happily, his mind wandering, absently listening to the flow of water in the background.

 

_I’m surprised she didn’t decide to have a nice hot bath to loosen up.  She certainly loves them._ He grinned; remembering the night last week when he’d drawn one for her and had it waiting when she got home.  The appreciative smile on her face and spectacularly sensual rewards he’d received, both then and later on that night in bed, had definitely made it worth his while.  

 

_Too bad she’s not having one ‘cause I’d love to join her again.  Of course, she’d probably enjoy some company now anyway._

 

Getting up quietly, a huge smile of anticipation lighting up his face, he padded toward the bathroom to surprise her.  Pausing for a moment and shaking his head as he saw the devastation that used to be their living room, he remembered vividly and fondly exactly how they’d made such a mess.  

 

_It's gonna take us a little while to clean this up,_ and _fix or replace all the shit we broke.  But it was_ so _worth it._

 

Shrugging blithely, he continued on, sliding open the bathroom door and then freezing at the sight that met his eyes, every bone-chilling aspect generously highlighted by the moonlight streaming in the bathroom window.  His heart starting to pound madly in his chest as adrenaline charged fever-pitched through his system.

 

_What the hell?_

 

Max was swaying unsteadily under the steamy spray, water cascading down over her hunched up back; her forehead braced against the tiles in front of her while tears streamed down her cheeks.  She looked devastated.  Defeated.  Utterly drained.  Her petite frame appearing even more fragile in the oversized stall.  Her shoulders slumped with her arms wrapped protectively around herself as her body shook with silent sobs.  So distraught, she hadn’t even bothered pulling the shower door shut, water splattering out unheeded onto the tile floor behind her.

 

Taken aback and unspeakably alarmed by the wounded creature he’d found, Alec took a few halting steps forward until he was almost directly behind her.  Small droplets of water flying out to coat his skin, making him shiver with cold and dread.  The warm and happy place he'd been in only moments before, fading away like it'd never been in the face of this cruel and unwelcome reality.  Raw fear taking its stead.

 

Unfortunately, because he was so freaked out, his voice came out strained and grating as he blurted, “Max?  Why are you crying?”  

 

She jumped and turned slightly toward him at his words, startled that she hadn’t sensed his presence immediately.  _God no.  Please not yet.  I'm not ready to face him yet._ Deeply ashamed and terrified of the hatred and anger she knew she’d probably find there, she couldn’t find it in herself to meet his gaze.  Instead, she stared down at her own treacherous body, trying to find adequate words to apologize for her behaviour, but nothing seemed anywhere near good enough. 

 

Only now, seeing how distressed she was, did Alec manage to clear the post-coital mating high from his head, enough for him to remember everything she’d told him about heat in the past, and how upset she’d gotten about it…  Her tears…  Her shame…

> _“It’s awful and always makes me feel so helpless.  Being out of control – unable to focus on anything but sex, and so desperate for a man that almost any cock will do...  It's always about fucking.  And nothing else."_
> 
> _“You’re in a constant state of excruciating arousal.  And if you try to hold out too long, it gets to the point where you just don’t care anymore.  You just want it to stop.  You'd do_ anything, do damn near anyone _to make it stop.  It doesn't matter in the slightest how ugly or repulsive they are because you need sex so bad you can taste it."_
> 
> _Shuddering, she stared blankly over his shoulder.  “And after, well, it's all so hazy, so hard to remember, which is a small blessing I’ve been_ extremely _thankful for…  But even with that, I still end up feeling so… used.  Dirty.  I've never gotten any kicks out of it."_

_How could I have done this to her?_   _I was just supposed to guard her and keep her safe, not screw her myself…  And why the hell did I automatically assume that this time would be miraculously better for her, that she wouldn’t feel exactly the same way as before, just because I was the one scratching her itch?_

And then an utterly appalling possibility struck him, the more he thought about her current state of misery and what it all might mean.  His gut twisting and clenching painfully.

_What if it_ was _just her heat talking and she didn’t really want me?  Did I force her to mate with me?_ He shook his head unconsciously in silent protest, every fibre of his being willing it not to be true. _No.  Just... No.  Please?_

His gaze hovered over her bowed head as he tried to determine if it was in fact true; his breath catching in his chest as he watched her struggle to wipe away her tears, her fingers trembling uncontrollably as she remained strikingly mute.  An act so patently unlike her, it only reinforced how absolutely shaken she had to be. 

 

_Shit!_   _I must have.  She can’t even bear to look at me or talk to me.  I’ve become just like all the others that have taken advantage of her over the years.  Except this time she's stuck with me.  I've completely ruined her chances of ever finding true happiness or love now._

Horrified and furious at himself, he growled and shoved a hand roughly back through his hair, “Fuck!  I can’t believe this.”  

 

Flinching and becoming even more upset at his obvious anger, Max tried to compose herself to no avail.  A lump that felt to be the size of a baseball worked up and down in her throat, much too big to swallow, although she tried.  

 

Her voice, when it finally managed to work its way past, was barely more than a breath of air.  “S-so-sor…”  A hiccupping sob interrupted her and she clenched her hands in fists against the glass and tile of the stall, frustrated beyond measure.  Taking as much of a deep breath as she could manage, she tried again.  “I’m… so… s-sor-ry.”  

 

If not for his advanced senses, Alec wouldn’t have heard her.  But even so, he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly.  “You’re sorry,” he muttered.  _Shouldn’t I be saying that?_

Confusion and self-hatred colouring his words, he spoke a bit louder.  “ _You’re_ sorry?  What the hell for?”

 

She tried her best to speak clearly, needing to explain, desperate to make him understand, but half her words were consumed by sobs, her voice shaky and choked from the tears clogging her throat.  “Mated…  What I s-s-said … on phone.  D-didn’t mean ... my heat … needed you… c-c-couldn’t stop …”  

 

“Crap.”  The lone word succinct and absolutely heartfelt as it left his lips, cutting off the rest of her disjointed spiel.  His own mind easily filling in the blanks for her as she involuntarily confirmed his darkest suspicions.  _It’s true.  It_ was _just her heat._   _She doesn’t love me, didn’t want to mate with me, but she couldn’t say no.  Her body wouldn’t let her._

He grimaced, the grisly realization of exactly what he’d done, a huge and bitter pill to swallow.  _No wonder she’s so upset.  I just spent the past day and a half raping her.  My best friend.  The woman I love.  Just kill me now._   He hung his head, his whole life and everything he'd ever dreamed of or wished for, crashing down around him like so much rubbish. 

 

He felt compelled to take the blame, anything to make her feel better, to make her stop crying.  He didn’t think he could stand much more, was having a hard time breathing his chest ached so badly, as if he had a huge gaping hole where his heart had once been.   He had to swallow hard to even get his voice to work. 

 

“It wasn’t your fault," he insisted tightly, his hands clenching into hard fists at his sides as he struggled to keep his own emotions in check.  "You were in heat and didn’t have a clear enough head to know what you were doing.  _I_ was the one who should have known better.  _I_ was the one that refused to leave you alone.  That failed to keep you safe like I promised I would.  This is all my fault.” _I should have listened when you told me to go away.  You tried to keep me out of the apartment.  Why the_ hell _didn’t I listen to you?_

_WHY?!?!_   His pain and grief so raw and overwhelming that he felt like screaming it to the heavens.  The urge to tear everything down around him with his bare hands in a fit of rage and despair coming a real close second.  

 

_Why is he trying to take the blame?_ Max couldn’t for the life of her understand, but she couldn’t let him do it, not after all the times she’d ranted at him and blamed him for things he hadn’t been responsible for. “Not t-true.  Just ‘cause… in h-h-eat… doesn’t excuse… what I d-did.”  

 

_At least he doesn’t sound quite so mad now.  Maybe if he sees how sorry I am, it’ll make a difference?_ She turned to face him fully, her own anguish shimmering in her eyes as she finally looked up at him.  “I’m s-sorry… forced you… to mate.  Didn’t m-mean to.”

 

Staggered by her words, Alec slowly looked up and held out a hand to silence her, his fingertips barely brushing over her closest arm.  “Forced _me_?”  He whispered, his face a mass of confusion as he tried and obviously failed to compute the meaning of her words on his first attempt.  “Wait a sec.  What are you talking about?  I thought I...” his voice trailing off as he replayed the last several minutes in his head and became even more confused, a frown furrowing his brow.  

_Maybe I didn’t force her?  Why would she think that she did, unless…_ His heart leapt at the possibility that came to mind, but he tried not to get his hopes up.  “Why do I get the feeling we’re having different conversations here, not to mention different memories about what happened yesterday.  I think we’d better start over.” 

 

Max just stared up at him, dumbfounded by the raw pain and concern she could now see pouring from his eyes.  Slowly but surely, his words started to seep in too.  _Maybe it’s not as bad as I thought?_ “You’re not… m-m-mad… at me?”  She whispered hesitantly, so unsure of herself and him at that moment, it was almost crippling.  

 

“Mad?  At you?”  He shook his head definitively, his voice becoming stronger as he stared into her eyes intently and emphasized, “Not a chance.  Did you think I would be?”

 

Sniffling, she took a shaky breath and nodded, still looking so vulnerable that he wanted to pull her to him and hold her close, comfort her and never let her go.  But he didn’t quite dare, at least not yet.  Smiling encouragingly, he spoke softly, soothingly, and eased a bit closer to her.  “Well I’m not.  Not even close.  So why don’t you take a minute to calm down and then tell me exactly what you think you need to apologize for.”  

 

A shiver ran down his spine as the cool air coming through the open door collided with the moist steamy air around them, regaining his reluctant attention.  Not wanting to push her in case he was wrong, he kept his voice light and deliberately non-threatening as he asked, “While you’re doing that, would you mind if I joined you in there?  It’s kinda chilly out here.”   

 

She moved over tentatively with a slight nod, shuffling out from under the spray a bit to make more room for him.  

 

Stepping into the space beside her, Alec pulled the door shut behind him, watching her carefully as he let the hot water warm his skin and ease some of the soreness plaguing him.  

 

Leaning a shoulder against the glass wall of the enclosure, Max made a concerted effort to compose herself, forcefully regulating her breathing until her tears gradually eased off.  Eventually she turned to address his chest, occasionally looking up to meet his penetrating gaze.  “When I called you yesterday, I never should have told you… what I did.  I should’ve known - probably _did_ know in the small part of my brain that was still functioning properly at that point - that you’d come up here and try to figure out what was going on.”  

 

Her hands started fiddling with her wet hair in her nervousness, twining one of her curls around her index finger.  “But I just couldn’t get you out of my head, couldn’t stop thinking about you.  I could smell you everywhere, almost feel your hands on my skin, and damn near taste you your presence was so strong.  All my senses were focused on you.  And only you.  I’ve never had heat hit me like that before."  She shook her head, her bewilderment plain to see as she peeked up at him.

 

"I was so frustrated.  I needed you so badly, and you weren’t here Alec.”  Her voice broke and she swallowed convulsively before repeating softly, “You weren’t here.  You kept on telling me no, over and over again...”  She closed her eyes for a moment, the faint memory of his recent words coming back to her and playing over in her head, bringing with them a fresh surge of pain.

 

> _"Stop it."  He cut her off and growled.  "It's not going to happen.  I am_ not _going to do this!"_

Shaking it off as she felt him staring at her, she opened her eyes again and murmured sadly, “Finally, it got to the point where I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I got so mad and upset that I started telling you off.  And once I opened my mouth… well, you know me, I just couldn’t shut up.”  

 

Sighing, she forced herself to continue, self-disgust obvious in her tone, “I didn’t mean to put you in this position.  I swore to myself that I wouldn’t, since you’d made it perfectly clear that you didn’t want to mate with me.  But once I went into heat, it was like I had tunnel vision.”

 

“All I could think about was how much I wanted you and needed you.  And no matter how hard I tried to keep a clear head and tell myself it was wrong, nothing else seemed to matter.  Not even what you wanted.”  

 

Her voice became dry and bitter as she condemned herself, “I betrayed you, betrayed our friendship.  And I really wouldn’t blame you one bit if you hate me now.  Hell, I hate me right now.”  She looked back down at her hands, twisting her fingers together agitatedly as she awaited his reaction.

Alec began to relax as everything started to click into place in his mind, her earlier behaviour and emotions suddenly making perfect sense.  “For the record, I definitely don’t hate you and you shouldn’t either.  And as for what I want?”  He shook his head.  “We’ll get to that in a minute.”  

 

He put a finger under her chin and tipped her face up toward his, forcing her to meet his gaze.  “But first, I need to know if you meant what you said.  Do you love me, Maxie?  Do you want me for your mate?”  

 

Faltering under his intense stare, Max glanced back down as much as he'd allow and bit at her lower lip, trying to find the courage within herself to actually admit it out loud to him with no excuses.  Knowing deep down that if she wanted to have any hope at all for any kind of a future with him, even if only as friends, that she needed to lay everything on the table for him now.  He deserved no less after what she'd pulled.  

 

Squaring her shoulders and swallowing hard, she finally confessed, “Yes.  I do.”  

 

Not pausing to let him get a word in, she continued on in a rush, completely missing the pure relief washing over his face.  “And I know you don’t feel the same, and that’s okay.  I never really expected you to.  This whole thing is my fault.  You came up here because of what I said and then you got caught up in my hormones and everything spun out of control and…”

 

“I get the gist.”  Alec interrupted, smiling tenderly and moving his finger up over her lips to stop the wild torrent erupting from her.  “But don’t you remember what I told you yesterday when I first got up here?”  

 

She pulled her head back and shook it slightly, frustration and confusion evident in her soft brown eyes as she struggled to access the memories.  “Not really.  Everything up to and including our phone call is pretty clear, but after that?" She shook her head again ruefully and wrapped her arms around herself defensively.  "It all gets really fuzzy…  I can only remember bits and pieces here and there.”

 

He sighed, “And that’s why this got all fucked up.  You didn’t force me to do anything babe.  I told you yesterday and I’ll tell you again today, I want to mate with you.”

 

She just stared at him like he’d grown a second head.  “You can’t be serious.”

 

He raised an eyebrow and smiled at her, feeling so light now he was sorely tempted to laugh at the flabbergasted expression on her face, “And why not?”

 

“Oh gee, I don’t know… let me see…where should I begin?”  Barely even hesitating, she launched into a tirade, all the deep-seated insecurities she'd been struggling with spilling forth unchecked.  Her dark eyes becoming overshadowed with bitterness and regret and out and out sorrow, bringing a swift end to his newfound mirth.  

 

"As much as it pains me to have to say this, you could have damn near anyone you want Alec.  Women flock to you like bees to honey."  She stared him down, practically daring him to disagree with her.  "You're an incredible guy; no matter how long or how hard I tried to pretend otherwise.  You're fiercely loyal, smart, courageous, dedicated, and sexier than anybody's got a right to be!  You command respect; everyone around here looks up to you and they hang off every word you say.”

 

“All you'd have to do is smile and crook your little finger at any one of our women and they'd be fawning all over you."  Looking rather resentful and jealous of that fact, she muttered, "So why the hell would you pick me out of the bunch, huh?"  

 

Pretending to think about it for maybe half a second, she suddenly lifted a hand as if in triumph and stated acerbically, "Ooh, yeah, that's right.  Because I treated you like absolute shit for almost frickin-ever.  I put you down, hit you, and blamed you for nearly every single little thing under the sun."  She rolled her eyes dramatically.  "I'm pretty sure I even got mad at you for breathing once!  I was a total bitch to you."

 

"And as if that's not bad enough, I’m overbearing and opinionated at the best of times, and absolutely neurotic at my worst."  Her hands started waving in the air, punctuating her argument.  "Sure I can walk the walk and talk the talk, and pretend I'm fine right along with the best of 'em, but when it really comes down to it?  I'm a mess.  An emotional train wreck just waiting to happen with all the baggage I'm carrying."  

 

Seeing him start to open his mouth in protest, she waved him off.  "And don't you even dare try to tell me otherwise Alec.  'Cause I know you've seen it, especially over the past few months.  I've cried enough tears on you to flood the bloody Grand Canyon!" 

 

"And with all the other shit I've piled on you since we met, why on Earth would you possibly want me, hmm?  Unless it was out of pity or something?  Or maybe you're just trying to make the best out of the totally fucked up situation I’ve landed us in?"  Her voice broke for a moment at the thought, but she recovered quickly.  

 

"What it all boils down to is that I don't deserve you Alec.  I know I don't.  I never have.  Renfro told me once that I was poison.  And she was right: almost everyone that comes near me ends up paying for it in some way, shape or form.  Despite my best intentions.”  Bitterness dripped through her tone as she muttered, “Nobody’s safe.  Certainly not any of my siblings or extended family.  Not even friends or acquaintances.  Hell, how many transgenics have died simply because I tried to set them free!  And look at how badly I’ve screwed things up for you now!”

 

"Max, that’s not..."  He began to refute her words, unwilling to let any of it pass.

 

But she shook her head and bulldozed right over him, gaining momentum and volume as she grew even more upset.  "No, Alec!  I'm not finished.  You'll get your turn in a minute."  

 

Jabbing a finger into his chest, she sucked in a deep breath and continued, “And if all _that_ is not enough for you, _you_ told me yourself that you didn’t want to be tied down, that with our history you didn’t want to get serious with me…  You've done nothing but point out that fact over the last few weeks, with how you've backed off whenever anything approaching even halfway serious came up between us."  

 

She shook her head and then ducked it down defensively as she felt fresh tears rising, huffing out an aggravated sigh and lifting a hand to scrub crossly at her burning eyes.  "Cause I’ve tried Alec.  God knows, I did everything I could think of to try and show you how I feel about you - short of telling you straight out to your face - and I got _nothing_ from you."  Her absolute hurt over that fact bled out through her voice, striking him like a heavy blow.  

 

“If it came to sex, well then hell yeah, you were all over it!” she snorted derisively.  “But any time I’d come near even a hint of anything to do with emotions or feelings, you’d beat a hasty retreat.  Your mask would slam down faster than I could say Manticore, and that'd be the end of it.  I'd get nothing more than non-committal responses from you until the conversation turned back to more neutral ground. "  

 

"So do you honestly expect me to believe that you all of a sudden want me, want to spend the rest of your life with me?  How could you?”  Her hands dropped to plant themselves on her hips as she stared up at him wretchedly, her eyes positively swimming with emotion.  But she finally fell blessedly silent as she awaited some sort of rational explanation from him.

 

Alec swore softly under his breath, utterly disgusted with himself as he saw everything now through her eyes.  The picture she'd painted of him, making him sick.  “Jesus.  I’m sorry babe.  I’ve been a real prick pretending otherwise, but it was only because I didn’t think you felt the same way about me and I didn’t want to wind up getting hurt.  I was scared, Max.  It’s that plain and simple.”  

 

"And quite honestly?  I could just as easily ask you if you're sure about mating with me.  'Cause I'm no prize by any means."  Holding her gaze, he forced himself to admit, "I was an assassin Max.  A cold-blooded killer.  During my stint at Manticore, I murdered _137_ _people_ \- nearly a quarter of them collateral damage - _simply because they told me to_.  No questions asked."  His eyes dark with pain, he muttered, "To this day, I can still remember every single one of their faces, and the terrified looks they gave me when I snuffed them out.  So how could I possibly deserve you either?"  

 

Shaking his head in dismay, he pressed, "None of us are innocent Max.  Not even Joshua.  We've all said or done things that we shouldn't have, and hurt people that we never meant to.  All we can do is move on and try to do the best we can not to let it happen again." 

 

"And as for how I feel about you?"  One hand lifted to rake back through his hair as he sighed and made his own confession.  “I’ve been attracted to you for a long time now - seems like forever sometimes - but I deliberately kept my distance because you were involved with Logan.”

 

Telling by the look on her face that she was about to interrupt, he sighed and held his hands up placatingly.  “I freely admit that the ‘bitch’ factor had a lot to do with it too originally.”

  

“There was just something about you that got to me though.  Grabbed hold of me and wouldn’t let go.  You were so… alive.  So much larger than life.  I think it was your spirit, that constant fire and defiance, that sense of purpose I saw sparking in your eyes that no one could take away from you, not even Manticore."  He smiled.  "It was intriguing.  Addictive.  Drew me like a moth to a flame and kept me coming back for more, despite the bitchiness and open hostility I got from you most of the time.”

 

He saw her wince and reached a hand up to caress her cheek soothingly.  “But gradually, even though it seemed to take forever at the time,” a small frown crossed his face as he remembered how frustrating it had been, “you started acting friendlier toward me.  Our constant arguing took on more of a bantering tone and you eased up on me; actually started letting me into your life.  And after the whole mistaken identity thing with Ben, you made more of an effort to treat me better, at least most of the time.”

 

“'Course, then you had to try to break things off with Logan, using me to do it.  When I found out you let him think we’d been sneaking around together behind his back…  It really hurt, Max.”  He sighed, pain and frustration coloring his words as he met her astonished gaze.  

 

“It felt like a huge slap in the face because you obviously didn’t trust me enough to warn me, let alone ask me first.  Plus the fact that your opinion of me was apparently still so low that you actually believed I could do something that crass.  And well, mainly because I'd finally started to admit to myself that I wanted it to be true.  I did want to be with you, only under the _right_ circumstances.  But with our history, I certainly wasn’t going to hold my breath waiting for a miracle like that to happen.  I refused to even let myself hope.”  

 

Alec shrugged, trying to dismiss how abused he’d felt at the time.  “Then all hell broke loose.  What with the siege, finding out about Seth, and breaking up with Logan – for real this time – you were overwhelmed.  I could see how much you needed me, really needed a good friend at that point.  You weren’t ready for anything else, so I concentrated on just being there for you.”

 

“When we moved in together, that’s when things really started changing for the better in my opinion.  We actually became friends.  Real friends."  He smiled down at her, remembering how relieved he’d felt.  "You started asking for my opinion and help on more and more things, and you really listened to what I had to say instead of automatically discounting everything all the time.  We could just sit and talk and hang out, and it felt so easy, so right.  Like it was meant to be or something.”  

 

“But even with all of that, I still didn’t see any sign from you that you thought of me in any kind of a romantic way.”  He smirked.  “I mean, don’t get me wrong.  I definitely picked up on some tension from you.  Although I mistakenly put that down to sexual frustration from your ‘not-like-that’ phase with Logan.”

 

“It really seemed to me like you’d consigned me to the position of your ‘old buddy Alec’ and I thought that was going to be the end of it.  I figured you were too stubborn to change your mind about me completely.  So imagine my surprise when we actually got together.  I was stunned to put it mildly.”  He deliberately caught her eye and raised his eyebrows to emphasise his point.  

 

“But from what you’d said, I thought you just wanted to experiment, and maybe have some relatively harmless fun with someone you trusted while you worked through some of your issues and explored your own sexuality.  I was convinced that I was probably just a rebound after all the heartache you went through with Logan, so I tried to keep everything as casual as I possibly could.”

 

“And with me being the first guy you'd ever chosen to be with, I couldn't be sure that you wouldn't read too much into the situation and make it out to be something that it wasn't, simply _because_ you were so inexperienced.  I was afraid that if I gave you too much encouragement, you might just jump headfirst into mating with me without thinking it through and then wind up regretting it later.   Especially since you haven't really had the chance to get to know many of the other guys yet."  

 

His eyes darkening at the thought, he muttered, "Cause what if you did eventually meet someone else and fall in love?  It’d be way too late to change your mind, to realize that you shouldn’t have been quite so hasty in settling for me."

 

"I wouldn't have been settling Alec," Max complained, slightly indignant and hurt that he could ever think that.

 

"Yeah, well I had no way of knowing for sure, did I?"  When she looked away and reluctantly shook her head, he continued, "I couldn't risk taking advantage of you like that, even though every instinct I possess was screaming at me to just mark you and be done with it already.  The thought of possibly losing you was killing me, but I couldn't quite bring myself to trust in the way you were acting yet either.  So I tried so hard to just sit back and give you time."  

 

Running a hand back through his hair, he looked down at her ruefully and bit at his lower lip, admitting sheepishly, "All I can really say in my defence, is that it seemed like a good idea at the time.  No heavy expectations on either side.  Just us, spending time together however we wanted.  I figured it would give you a chance to maybe figure out if you wanted something more with me.  With no pressure, you know?  'Cause I knew that was the last thing you needed with everything else going on, and I was afraid I'd wind up scaring you or pushing you away for good if I came on too strong or too fast."

 

Reaching out, he took hold of her hands and brought them up to his chest, tugging her further into the spray with him.  “I don’t want there to be any more misunderstandings between us.”  Cupping her cheeks in both hands, he stared down into her eyes, willing her to believe him, putting his heart and soul into every word he uttered, "I want you for my mate, Maxie.  I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  And only you."  

 

She gazed up at him warily, her lower lip trembling.  "You don't really mean that."  She whispered shakily, not quite daring to believe the truth smouldering in his eyes.

 

"I do.  I'm yours sweetheart.  Every single inch of me.  Just like you're mine."  He stepped in even closer, the heat from his body enveloping hers.  "You make me feel so much, things I never thought I could, let alone would ever deserve.  I can't even begin to tell you how beautiful and precious you are to me.  But I swear I will gladly spend the rest of our lives showing you.  I'll never give you reason to doubt me, ever again."

 

Pausing for a moment, he spoke slowly and deliberately, emphasizing every word.  "I love you Max.  You are everything to me.”

 

His words rang through her, the sincerity in his voice and body language unmistakable, finally convincing her.  She smiled, her face slowly lighting up from within with a radiant glow, chocolate orbs shining brilliantly as tears of joy slid down her cheeks.  “Oh God Alec, I love you too.  So much.”  

 

Standing up on tiptoe, she slid her arms up around his neck and pressed her lips to his in a searing kiss, her whole body quivering with unrestrained bliss, almost unable to process the stunning turnaround of emotion of the past hour or so.  Throwing herself into it body and soul, she kissed him until she was dizzy and drowning in it, in him; only pulling away from his lips when the need to breathe became overwhelming.  The relief that he didn’t hate her, didn’t want to leave her, making her grin like an idiot as she leaned into him, needing to feel him, his strength, his physical presence, to prove this wasn’t just some wonderful dream.

 

He returned her embrace just as fiercely, wrapping his arms around her waist and dropping his head down on to her shoulder, kissing his mark on the crook of her neck and murmuring endearments into her skin.  

 

After several minutes, they both flinched as rapidly cooling drops of water started pelting their sides.  Very reluctantly, he pulled away from her, “I don’t mean to spoil the moment, but we’re almost out of hot water.  We’d better get out of here.”  Releasing her, he turned off the taps and stepped out, snatching their towels from the hooks beside him and securing his around his waist.

 

Reaching out a hand, he took hers gently and helped her out, draping her towel around her as he began drying her off, indulging his urge to pamper her.  His hands wandering intimately and possessively over her back and arms, her breasts, his eyes following the trail as he knelt down in front of her, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders.

 

Starting at her toes, he worked his way up her body, picking up each foot and stroking her delicate arches then sliding the towel over her ankles and up the back of her calves.  His touch whisper-light, exquisite, evoking shivers as he gradually eased the towel higher and higher up her legs, then around her hips.  

 

The mood breaking when he stopped abruptly, suddenly lifeless hands dropping the towel and hovering over her stomach, an unsettled look usurping his normally self-assured features.

 

Max looked down at him warily, immediately realizing what was wrong, “Alec?”

 

“Sorry.”  He shook his head distractedly, staring fixedly at her abdomen as if he expected it to tell him the secrets of the universe.  “It just occurred to me…”

 

“That I might be pregnant?”

 

That caught his attention.  “Might?”  He lifted his head to look at her and raised an eyebrow incredulously.  “I’d say it’s more than a possibility, wouldn’t you?”

 

Remembering what he’d said before about not wanting kids, she tried to find an out.  “Well it’s not definite, right?  You did say it was only about a 90% chance.”  

 

At his continued disbelieving stare, she blushed, “Okay.  Yeah, it's pretty much a sure thing.  Alec, are you…”  She paused, flustered and a bit concerned as his eyes drifted back down toward her abdomen.  His features hard to read, hidden behind a blank Manticorean mask as he appeared lost in thought.  “Would you be… upset if there is a baby?”

 

“What?”  His gaze instantly shot back up to her face and he cringed at the worry he found there, accurately guessing its source.  “No!  I’m sorry Maxie.  I didn’t mean to spook you.  It’s just kind of…” he floundered, searching for the right words, his fingers stroking tenderly over her flesh, “...amazing, I guess.  The thought that we might’ve created a whole new life.  That there’s probably a baby, our baby, starting to grow inside you right now.  It’s exciting.  Humbling and yet it makes me feel ten feet tall all at the same time.” 

 

“Yeah,” she whispered with a smile.  “I know what you mean.”  Sensing his hesitation, she knew he wasn’t telling her the whole story.  “But?” she prompted.

 

He sighed, “I’m not gonna lie to you: the timing sucks.  It scares the hell out of me with all the shit we’ve got going on right now.  I love you so much.  If anything happened to you or the baby…  If I lost you…” his voice drifted off, fear and rage battling in his eyes.  “I don’t even want to think about what I’d do.  I know it’d kill me.  I can’t go through that again, Maxie.  I…  I just can’t.”  He closed his eyes and leaned forward, resting his forehead against her abdomen as his arms wrapped around her hips, holding her close.

 

“You won’t have to.  Nothing’s going to happen to either one of us.”  She tipped his head back up to look at her, seeing the horrific memories of his first love’s death haunting his eyes.  “Believe me, Alec.  I want this baby.  I’m not gonna do anything to place either one of us in danger.”  

 

She sighed and shook her head resignedly, determined to reassure him, despite the cost to herself.  “And yeah, I know it’s gonna be hard on me.  It means no more helping out on occasional missions.  No more leaving TC, at least not without an armed escort.  And no more jaunts over to the Needle or OC’s whenever the urge strikes me.  All of which will probably drive me stir crazy.  But I’ll deal and keep us both safe.  I promise.”

 

He tightened his arms around her appreciatively, “Thanks, Maxie.”

 

She ran her fingers through his damp hair, massaging the tense muscles at the base of his neck in an attempt to calm him.  “Hey, try and relax, okay?  We’re safe enough for now.  Our defences are fairly solid and we’re heavily armed.  Even the negotiations aren’t going too badly considering.  We’re getting closer and closer to reaching an official truce.”

 

“I know.  But I still don’t like it.  I don’t feel in control with White and the National Guard camped out on our doorstep.  TC is too spread out, too hard to defend properly.  There are still too many weak points that could be exploited to our disadvantage, especially by the Familiars if they decided to attack us in force.  I’d feel much better if we were set up far away from here and nobody knew where we were.  Or what we are.”  

 

She cupped the side of his face in the palm of her hand.  “Yeah, it’d be nice, but let’s face it, that’s pretty much impossible now.  All we can do is focus on our current situation and try to make the best of things.”  

 

Sighing, he placed a gentle kiss on her belly; immeasurably grateful for the second chance he’d been granted.  “You’re right.”  He conceded.  _There’s really not much else I can do at this point to make things safer around here.  And I don’t want to waste precious time worrying about things that might not even happen._   Rising to his feet, he pulled her back into his arms, intent on reaffirming their bond, needing to be as close to her as physically possible.  

 

She went willingly, burrowing into him and breathing in deep, immersing herself in the safety of his warm embrace.  Smiling against his bare chest, she tried to distract him, “Of course I’m right.  I know everything.”

 

He snorted, amused despite himself by her muffled words and over the top superior tone.  “Whatever you wanna tell yourself, sweetheart.  But we both know the truth.”  Bending over, he scooped her up into his arms and headed toward their bedroom.

 

“Alec!”  She squealed in mock protest, her legs kicking wildly even as her hands clutched at him for purchase.  “What do you think you’re doing?”

 

“I’d think that would be fairly obvious to someone who apparently knows everything.”  He strode over to their bed, dropping her down on to it with a flourish, a wicked gleam sparkling in his eyes as he stood over her.  “I’m taking my woman to bed.”

 

“Your woman?”  The challenge in her voice was unmistakable as she raised an eyebrow and pushed up on her elbows to stare at him, even as a smile curved her lips at the effect her words and attitude were having on him.

 

“Yeah.”  He gave her a long, heated look as he ditched his towel and knelt between her legs, running his hands up the sides of her body to rest by her elbows.  “You’re all mine.  And I intend to make sure you _never_ forget it.”  As he spoke, he leaned forward, invading her personal space and easing her back down onto the bed, blanketing her with his warmth and nuzzling her ear as he whispered, “Got a problem with that?”

 

“Nope.”  Max purred the word; her voice already husky with desire as she eagerly yielded to him, spreading her legs further apart to accommodate his hips pressing intimately against hers.  Turning her face up toward his, the tip of her tongue darted out to moisten suddenly dry lips.

 

Thoroughly captivated as he watched the trail her tongue took, he traced the same path with his own, then caught her lower lip between his, sucking on it for a moment before taking her mouth, leisurely, affectionately.  As if he had all the time in the world.  His lips drifting across hers, his tongue nudging at her lips, asking entrance before finding and lightly stroking hers, engaging in a teasing, titillating dance that seemed to go on forever.  Time coming to a standstill as he stole her breath, her sanity, tried to possess her very essence with each kiss.

 

Eventually he left her lips to press butterfly kisses across her eyelids, the tip of her nose, her cheekbones.  His touch filled with reverence, every kiss a declaration of his love and devotion.

 

She moaned his name and combed her fingers through his hair, holding him to her, thrilled by his lavish display of affection.  Arching up into him, she left herself vulnerable, her neck bared to him and drawing his gaze.

 

Not wanting any part of her to feel left out; Alec allowed his lips and tongue to wander down her body, enjoying her uninhibited response.  His lips rediscovering the curve of her jaw, his teeth nibbling along the slender lines of her neck, his tongue soothing the slightly raw bite mark proclaiming her his, drawing a strangled gasp from her at the amazingly exquisite sensation.  He lingered at the hollow of her throat, then grazed his tongue down along the delicate flesh between her breasts.

 

Max felt lost, adrift in a sea of passion, the tenderness and care he was showing her flooding through her, reassuring her that he did in fact love her.  An urgent need to prove her own commitment to him took hold.  Bracing her legs on either side of him, she pushed up, rolling them over so that she was on top.

 

Startled, he stared up at her for a moment, then acceded to the shameless demand in her dark eyes.  Relaxing against the bed, his hands moved back up to cup her gently, caressing her silky flesh, testing the weight of each breast with the palms of his hands.  His thumbs stroking across her budded nipples, making her moan in the back of her throat. 

 

Smiling sexily, her lower lip half-caught between her teeth, she let her gaze rove over him then began a foray of her own.  Her hands fluttering down across his shoulders and chest delicately tracing the various marks she’d put on him during her heat.  Bending over, her curls skimming over his skin, she pressed moist kisses over each bruise and every scratch; delighting in the moans she dragged from his lips. 

 

She paused thoughtfully above his nipples, eyeing the tiny beads of moisture that still clung to his sternum, beckoning her lips and tongue to taste them.  Giving in to temptation, she lapped at the droplets with her tongue, collecting every last one, then leisurely made her way over to his left nipple, circling it and flicking it with her tongue before taking it in her mouth, applying a gentle suction. 

 

Alec groaned, his hands slipping around her to glide over her spine, fingertips splayed wide to touch as much of her as he could.  His fingers combing up through her damp hair and playing with several strands before slipping down to caress her barcode and his mark.  

 

Nipping lightly at him, she found the ridges of his tightly muscled abdomen, leaving a trail of kisses and darting her tongue into his bellybutton as she made her way down past his waist, teasing him as she skirted around the evidence of his desire.  The tips of her breasts brushing against his thighs as she finally took him into her mouth.  His strangled groan turning her lips up into a smile for a moment before she began working him in earnest.  Fingers, tongue, and lips moving in concert, bringing him closer and closer to the edge.

 

But as wonderful as her mouth felt on him, he wanted – needed – to be inside her, felt an undeniable compulsion to claim her again now that they were both completely aware of their feelings for each other.  Pulling her back up and away from him, he rolled them over again, coming to rest between her thighs, his weight braced on his elbows.

 

Max looked up at him and smiled, getting lost in the depths of his eyes, the raw emotion blazing there captivating her.  Wrapping her legs around his waist, she whispered, “Make love to me.”  Her hips moving encouragingly against his, her hands gliding up over his arms, her fingers stroking his shoulders as she pulled him closer. 

 

Alec gazed down at her, a part of him still stunned and amazed by the passion and love lighting her eyes.  She’d never looked more beautiful to him.  Maintaining eye contact, he slowly pressed himself inside her, felt her moist sheath embrace him tightly.

 

A low breathy moan left her lips as he slid deeper and deeper until he was seated to the hilt, inexorably possessing her, the intimacy of the moment overwhelming them both.  His whispered, “God, I love you, Maxie” rippling through her, making her shudder with need, her answer slipping easily past her own lips, “I love you too.”

 

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to maintain control, he began moving against her, pulling out leisurely and then thrusting in deep.  Getting caught up in the erotic drag of flesh on flesh.  Hard muscle finding soft, welcoming heat over and over again.  Her hips rocking up eagerly to meet his every stroke, his name leaving her lips in little breathy whimpers as the whirlwind inside her started spiralling out of control.  

 

His eyes never leaving hers, he kept moving, slow and sweet, delving deeper and deeper.  Watching and feeling the fireworks explode as she fell over the edge, and gasping in surprise as she took him along with her, her muscles milking him, contracting hotly around him.  Leaning in, he dipped his head and reclaimed his mark, his tongue laving possessively at it.  His mate's hands shaking as they clung to his shoulders, her breathing ragged as she moaned his name in ecstasy and the world fell away.


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see Chapter 1 for disclaimer and author notes.

# Epilogue

 

**~~~~~Two months later…**

 

OC sat at one of the tables in the back room of Crash, just kicking back and enjoying a night out chillin with her friends and main squeeze, something that hadn’t happened in what seemed like forever.  Jamie sat immediately to her left, while Alec was perched on a stool to her right with Max curled up in his lap; one of his arms wrapped loosely around her waist.  Already on his way to his usual state of inebriation, Sketchy occupied the stool between them on the far side of the table.  

 

Most of their friends and co-workers, and at least four dozen other transgenics were spread out celebrating around the bar; some playing pool, some dancing, others just hanging out and enjoying the music and drinks while keeping an eye out for trouble.

 

Noticing that the current game was starting to wind down beside them, Alec caught Sketchy's eye during a momentary lull in the girls' conversation and gestured with his head at the pool table, “Hey, wanna play after they’re done?”  For old times’ sake?”

 

“Nah.”  Sketch shook his head, already knowing where this was headed.  

 

“Aww…  Come on.  I’ll let you have the break," he cajoled as he went to take a drink of his scotch.  When that didn't work, Alec tried to entice him further, "I'll even spot you three, no, four balls!”

 

Smiling despite himself, Sketch answered, “No way, man.  You’ve beaten me like every single time we’ve played, no matter how much of an advantage you've given me.  Even I learn eventually.”

 

OC clasped a hand over her heart and widened her eyes dramatically, "A'ight, now Original Cindy's heard everythin’!  Who'd a thought?  The Sketchmeister actually learnin' somethin'."  Turning to Max, she sniffed and pretended to wipe away a tear.  "Our boy's growing up boo.  Pretty soon he'll be ready to go out an’ take on the world all by his lil’ lonesome."   

 

Playing along, Max leaned over and put her arm around her shoulders in commiseration, sighing, “Yeah, don’t know if I’m quite ready for him to leave the nest yet.  Never thought I’d ever see the day.”  

 

“Hey!”  Putting down his beer with a slight pout at their teasing, he muttered, “I wasn’t that bad you know.”

 

“Um, sorry to say this Sketch, but sometimes?  You kinda were.”  Alec shrugged apologetically as the girls giggled, “Max has told me about some of the jams you’ve gotten yourself into.  I mean, working as a mule for a mob boss?  With your luck?  Not exactly the brightest idea.”

 

Unable to refute that point, Sketch muttered, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

 

Alec nodded, “But… that’s not really the point here.”

 

“Uh huh…”  Cindy rolled her eyes and caught Max’s grin.  “An’ what would that be, pretty boy?”

 

“The point is, it’s been a while, and I seriously wanna kick some ass at pool.”  He mock pouted.  “Surely somebody’s willing to play me?”

 

Smirking over her shoulder at Alec’s petulant whine, Max patted the arm he had around her.  “Don’t worry, tiger.  If you really want to play that badly, I’ll be up for it in a bit.”

 

Laughing now, he snuggled her closer and whispered suggestively in her ear, “You’ll be up for it?  Shouldn’t that be my line?”

 

She giggled, positively glowing, a carefree smile curving her lips as she smacked him lightly on the shoulder before turning her attention back toward OC and Jamie and the conversation they’d been having.  

 

“So anyway, as I was trying to explain before we were so rudely interrupted…” she glanced up at her mate in mock annoyance and barely suppressed another laugh at the puppy dog eyes he shot her way, before continuing, “everything’s finally settled now.  It took us long enough to find a suitable location that worked for everyone, _and_ to get cooperation from the feds, but the formal agreement passed through Congress and was signed off by the President himself this morning.”

 

"So what is that going to entail for you guys exactly?" Jamie asked curiously as she leaned closer and put her arm around OC for moral support, knowing from several conversations they'd had that she wasn’t exactly thrilled at the thought of her best friend moving away.  She was just thankful that one of the two locations they'd been hoping for had been agreed upon.  Especially since it would tie in well with some of the tentative plans they'd been making.  

 

“Well for starters, we're officially US citizens now, and they‘ve granted us pardons for all military actions and criminal activities conducted under Manticore’s orders.  They've also pledged the full support and protection of the US military to us.  In exchange, we’re going to be forming several platoons of our own to serve good old 'Uncle Sam’.”  Max rolled her eyes at the title. "We'll also be working for them as contractors using some of our more specialized skill sets."

 

“That’s cool.”  Sketch nodded vigorously.  “So where're you guys gonna live now?”

 

OC sighed, “She's already tol’ us that, fool.  Over in Yuma as part of the military base."

 

"I _know_ that.  I just meant the actual place... like an apartment, or barracks, or what?”  Sketchy looked over at the couple expectantly.  “And what’s Yuma like?  I’ve never even heard of it before."

 

Max started to explain.  "We'll actually be living in a house located in our own private section of the Army base - the Yuma Proving Ground.  It a huge-ass testing facility in the Sonoran desert, pretty much smack-dab between San Diego and Phoenix.”  

 

“Mole must be in seventh heaven ‘bout goin’ to the desert.”  OC murmured.

 

“Yeah, he is pretty psyched,” Alec laughed when he remembered the whoop of pure delight he'd given right in the middle of command, and then shrugged.  “Can't honestly say I'll miss the rain either, but we're gonna have to wait another month or two until everything’s organized down there and set up for us to move.  And while it is going to be really hot and dry, we’ll also be close to the Colorado River, so it shouldn’t be too bad.”  

 

Leaning back into Alec's chest a bit more, Max sighed, “It certainly wasn't our first choice of locations, especially with it being so far away and all.  But it's the best overall fit in terms of providing a worthwhile service to the government and suiting our own needs."  She continued with a slight shrug, "And the city is actually fairly big.  It’s close to the Mexican border and has over 100,000 people and a wide variety of amenities.  It’s also home to a Marine Corps Air Station, so we’ll be devoting our time and effort between the two." 

 

“The base itself is about 25 miles NE.  It’s well fortified and easy to defend, and has both barracks and family housing.”  Alec’s hand instinctively reached down to caress Max’s tummy as he spoke.  “We'll have full run and control of our section, with our own services and recreation facilities so _all_ of us can be together without worrying about prejudice.  And since we have the full sanction of the US government and military behind us now, we shouldn't have to worry as much about White and his whack job familiars making trouble for us either."

 

“Best part is, they didn’t try to make all of us join the military.”  Max smiled, the relief on her face obvious as she took a quick sip of her water.  “We put it to a vote and just over half of the men - mainly the single guys - agreed to sign up for active, which more than satisfied them.  The rest of us will be providing training, mainly at the freefall parachuting school and desert combat range, and helping out with all kinds of equipments, weapons and artillery testing, and R&D.  We'll also be taking care of our own portion of the base: operating and maintaining the facilities, looking after the X8’s, and raising our own families…”  Her voice trailed off as her hand slid over to join Alec’s on her very slightly rounded abdomen. 

 

OC noticed the gesture and her eyes widened.  “Boo?  Is it for sure?  You got checked out?"  

 

The big grin on her friend’s face was answer enough.

 

“What?”  Sketchy looked around the table, noticeably perplexed.

 

“Max is pregnant.  About 2 months along.”  Alec confirmed, his arms tightening around her as proud and happy smiles graced both their faces.

 

“God, I’m so happy for you." OC jumped up with a squeal and gave them both a big hug.  Rapidly joined by Sketchy and Jamie as they gave their own congratulations.

 

Settling back down in her seat and sharing a look with her partner, she smiled when Jamie nodded encouragingly.  "Well, this just settles it then.  OC’s gonna have to move so she can be closer to you guys."

 

"You serious?"  Max's eyebrows rose in shock, not having expected that in the slightest.  But relieved at the very thought, as she hadn't been looking forward to moving so far away.

 

"Damn straight sugar.  OC's plannin' on having that little one knowin' just who his or her Aunty Cindy is, and who else would you trust to babysit, hmm?  God only knows what we'll do if it's a boy though."  She rolled her eyes.  "Sweet thing'll come out already battin' his eyelashes at all the ladies.  Makin' 'em swoon all ova' him."

 

Max laughed uproariously at the mental image.  Pretty sure that it wasn't that far of a stretch. 

 

"Hey now."  Alec deliberately tried to frown a bit, though there was a hint of a smile twisting it, as he felt his mate still shaking with laughter in his lap, "I'll have you know that I have _never_ batted my eyelashes at anyone.  Female or otherwise."

 

“Un huh… Sure you haven’t.”  Max nodded appeasingly enough as she wiped the tears from her eyes, but her tone made it clear she wasn't buying it, drawing another laugh from the other girls. 

 

Finally growing serious again, she asked, “But what about you Jamie?  You've got your store here, and I thought you two were getting pretty involved?”

 

Shrugging lightly, she answered, “We are.  But Cin' and I have been talking this over, ever since you first gave us word about the locations that were on the short list.  We've had our fingers crossed that Yuma or Fort Irwin would be selected because I’ve got family down in San Diego and I’ve been thinking about moving my business back down there for a while now.  We were planning on going down in a few weeks for a little visit and scouting trip to check out potential locations for ourselves."  

 

OC smiled and explained, "Since Yuma's only a few hours' drive away from there, it'd be easy enough for us to come out an' visit on weekends an' such.  An' you never know, maybe we might end up movin' to Yuma itself."

 

Jamie nodded.  "We'll have to check it out.  It's possible it might be big enough to support my kind of store, depending on what else there is there.  San Diego would definitely have a better population base for it, but who knows, with all them supposedly straight-laced military folk around, some of them must surely be looking to spice things up a bit.  Maybe I’d become the best kept secret in town and liberate a few people.”

 

Noticing that everyone's drinks were getting low, OC announced, "We need to celebrate.  Next round’s on me.”  Smiling broadly, she headed off toward the bar, thrilled by this latest turn of events.

 

After placing their order, OC turned around and surveyed the crowded bar while she waited, grimacing when she suddenly noticed Logan coming down the stairs headed straight for her.

 

Not bothering with pleasantries, he demanded, “Where’s Max?  I need to talk to her right away.”

 

“Best turn yo’ skinny ass right back ‘round, fool."  OC huffed out, exasperated by his arrogance at barging in on the private party being held at Crash.  "Sugar don't want nothin’ more to do wit’cha.  _Thought_ she made that clear _last_ time she saw you."  

 

Logan stood his ground like a bulldog, still convinced he could make Max forgive him for his involvement in Seth's death.  "Alec was behind that.  Max didn't mean any of the stuff she said.  Besides, she's been mad at me before, but she always forgets about it eventually."  _Especially when I distract her with other things, like the cure._

A goofy grin crossed his face and his eyes glazed over for a moment as he thought about the passionate reunion he had methodically planned out for the evening.  _Candlelight and soft music to set the mood, a gourmet dinner with that pre-pulse merlot I’ve been saving, the exquisite diamond solitaire engagement ring I bought her…  Oh, she’ll definitely forget about everything else but me.  And then we can try out my new silk sheets._

Turning back to Cindy, he declared dismissively, "We love each other and that’s all that matters.  Especially now that I’ve got the virus cured and we can finally be together like we were meant to be.  That was the only thing standing in our way before."

 

"Yeah, you keep tellin’ yo’self that.  But it won’t make one bit o’ difference.”  OC took a long swig of the beer she’d finally received from the bartender and shook her head in disgust at his obstinacy as she paid, then pointed at the couple across the room.  “Open yo' eyes an’ _look_ at her.  OC's known her boo a lot longer than you an' she ain't _never_ seen her this happy.  An' it's all ‘cause of him."

 

“You’d best leave now ‘fore you make an even bigger ass out yo’self.”  Turning away from him, she picked up the tray of drinks and headed back toward the pool table to join her friends.

 

~~~~~

 

Max stood across the table from Alec, patently amused as she awaited her turn.  Her mate showing off for her and attempting trickier and trickier shots, slowly garnering the attention of everyone in the room as they cheered him on.  

 

A big smile graced her face when he was down to one ball and the eight left, and she decided enough was enough.  Watching him line up his next shot, her flirtatious eyes focused on his and caught his attention.  Teasing him, she slowly curled her fingers around the tip of her pool cue and stroked up and down along the length of it, her eyes drifting hotly over his body in tune.

 

He tried to ignore her, but his gaze kept straying back to her, almost moaning as her grip tightened on the cue and the tip of her tongue darted out to moisten and circle her lips.  More than a little distracted by her erotic suggestion, he missed his shot to the great amusement of everyone present. 

 

Laughing delightedly, she slowly made her way around the table to him, swaying her hips seductively; her loose flowing skirt swirling around her thighs.  She deliberately leaned in and brushed her ass up against his crotch as she went to slip past him.  

 

He threw an arm around her waist before she could make good on her escape though and pulled her fully against him, his hand resting lightly over her abdomen.  Burying his face in her neck and breathing out over the sensitive skin of his mark, he murmured just loud enough for her to hear, “Minx.  You’ll pay for that later.”

 

Shivering as she turned her head to look up at him, she smiled and purred, “I sure hope so tiger.  I'd be _awfully_ disappointed otherwise.”  Stepping away from him with a satisfied little smirk at the look on his face, she sashayed over to the end of the table and blew him a kiss before bending over it, feeling sexier than hell as his eyes roved over her curves appreciatively.

 

Shaking his head in amusement as he leaned on his cue, he watched her start clearing the table; a big grin on his face as he easily accepted the good-natured ribbing of his unit mates and fellow transgenics.  Out of the corner of his eye, he caught OC coming back with a disgusted look on her face and then discovered the reason for it as he saw Logan hot on her heels.  _Fuck!_   _He just couldn’t stay out of our lives, could he?  Had to come back and spoil our fun, tonight of all nights._   

 

His spine stiffening as a low growl unconsciously escaped him, Alec strode angrily toward Logan, determined to head him off.  Steve, Jet and Rick automatically breaking off to join him and offer back up when they smelled the fury and frustration pouring off him. 

 

Almost snarling by the time he reached the archway, he warned tightly from between clenched teeth, “ _Not_ a good idea to come here, Logan.  We’ve been through this before – several times in fact – Max and I are together now.  And she doesn’t want anything more to do with you.”

 

“Get out of my way Alec.  You don’t know what you’re talking about.”  Logan deliberately raised his voice, trying to get Max’s attention when he realized he had no hope in hell of getting past the intimidating wall of transgenic males blocking his access to her.

 

Hearing the commotion and sensing the sudden tension radiating from her mate, not to mention the thick scent of testosterone rising in the air, Max slowly straightened and walked toward them with a decided frown on her face.  Coming up behind Alec, she stroked a hand over her mark and down along his shoulder to calm him and get his attention.  When he turned his head back to look at her, she asked him with her eyes to step aside. 

 

She could see his internal fight to restrain himself; the instinctive need to protect her and their baby warring with the rational side of his brain.

 

At last, sighing reluctantly but understanding her need to try and take care of this mess herself, hopefully for the last time, Alec nodded slightly.  Signalling his unit to stand down for the time being, he took up a protective stance slightly in front of her and immediately to her left instead, as his men fanned out around them keeping a watchful eye on the intruder.

 

“What do you want, Logan?”  Max's tone was cold and uninterested as she handed her pool cue off to Jet and crossed her arms over her chest.

 

“I found it!”  Logan stepped forward, obviously excited, and reached out to embrace her.

 

“What the fuck!”  She smacked his arms away and shoved him back, careful to maintain a barrier between their skin, and moved even closer to Alec.  “Don’t touch me!”

 

“But it’s okay now, Max.”  He smiled at her triumphantly, a superior gleam lighting his eyes.  “Remember that scientist I told you about?  It took forever to do it on my own, but I finally managed to track him down.  He figured out a cure and injected me with antibodies to fight off your virus!” 

 

She raised an eyebrow as she stared at him, unimpressed.  “You’re serious.  You really think this guy was able to cure it.”

 

“Not just think, Max.  I know.”  Logan held his hand out to her, not even noticing her lack of excitement through his own overabundance.  “He tested it on the blood and tissue samples I had from you from before.  And the treatment worked!  Permanently!  So we can touch now and finally be together like we were meant to be.”  His lips curled disdainfully as he glanced over at Alec.  “You don’t have to put up with the likes of _him_ anymore.”  

 

Sensing Alec’s hackles rising again as he let out a low, menacing growl that she felt more than heard, Max slid one hand up under his shirt and caressed the skin at the small of his back in reassurance.  Then smiled slowly as she tilted her head to one side, giving a wide toothy grin that didn’t quite reach her narrowed eyes.  

 

Anyone who knew her well, would’ve known to tread carefully upon seeing that particular look upon her face, but Logan seemed ignorant to the very real threat behind it.  Alec, however, settled back a bit on his heels, barely managing to restrain his glee at what he knew was surely coming.  

 

“I can touch you without killing you?”  She asked one last time, just to be sure.

 

Logan nodded eagerly, taking another step toward her with open arms and receiving a wicked right hook to the chin for his trouble, propelling him back several feet and onto the floor as he tripped up over the steps and overturned a stool.  He looked up at her dazedly.  His jaw and eyebrows seemingly at war with one another; each pulling his face in the opposite direction.

 

“You’ve got some nerve showing up here and disturbing us like this."  Max stared down at him, shaking her head incredulously.  "Did you really figure you could just walk back into my life like nothing’s happened?  Like you weren’t responsible for the death of one of my brothers?  Haven’t you heard a single word I’ve said over the last nine months?”

 

"B-b-but Max..."  Logan slowly pushed himself up onto his knees, carefully working his sore jaw.

 

Speaking right over him, and not caring one bit that she was outing him, she huffed, "I guess not, seeing as how you're Mr. Fricken Oblivious Eyes Only!  You’ve had your head stuck up your own ass for so long, you _actually believe_ your own hype; only seeing the world through your own special brand of rose colored glasses.”  

 

She snorted, “Well it’s time to wake up and face the music sunshine, cause you wanna know what?  _I’m_ feeling kinda downtrodden right now.  And do you wanna know why?"  She barely even paused for breath, let alone to give him enough time to stammer out an answer.  "Because I’ve got this crazy ass old pervert stalking me!  Guy was never even seriously my boyfriend, but now he won’t take no for an answer!"

 

"You think you could do an Eyes Only hack on him for me?  Maybe warn all the lovely ladies out there to steer clear of him?” she asked sarcastically.  “I’d give you a picture of the jackass for the broadcast, but somehow I don’t think you’ll need it.  Just lose the coloured bars and you’ll do fine."

 

Grabbing onto the table beside him, Logan finally managed to regain his feet and moved closer, his mouth gaping open like a fish.  “But Max…” taking a step down and reaching out to her again, he grabbed at her wrist, “you don’t unders…”

 

Rapidly losing what little patience she had left, she slipped his grasp and hauled off and decked him again, sending him flying back onto the floor.  “ _No_ Logan.   _You’re_ the one who doesn’t understand.  I don’t want you back.  I don’t care about you and I certainly don’t love you.  Hell, I don’t even want you as a friend anymore!”  

 

Hands on her hips, she stalked up the steps and crouched down on one knee beside him, hauling him up by his shirtfront and shaking him.  "Get a fucking clue already.  When a girl says no, she means _no_ , Logan.  Not yes.  Not maybe.  But _NO_.”  She hit him again for good measure when he tried to grab her arm again.  “And stop trying to fucking touch me cause you’re pissing me off to no end!”  

 

Taking a breath to try and calm down, Max sighed, “I am sick and tired of having this argument with you, so get this through your thick skull once and for all.  I have moved on, to a bigger and oh-so-much better man than you could ever hope to be."  A smirk crossed her face as she looked up and met Alec’s gaze for a second since he’d shadowed her forward movement, then she turned her focus back to Logan and announced loudly and clearly, "I'm with Alec now.  And I mean that in every possible way imaginable.”

 

Her voice heated, she continued, “This isn’t some game, and we’re not pretending.  Far from it, Logan.  Alec is my friend.  My lover.  My mate.  And as corny as this probably sounds, he’s the other half that makes me whole.  He’s also the father of my unborn child.”  A beautiful smile curved her lips at the thought and then she arched her neck and proudly brushed aside her hair to show off the bite mark adorning it.  “You see this?  It’s Alec’s mate claim and it matches the one I gave him.  And in our world, that’s an even bigger deal than marriage.  It’s permanent.  Forever.  A lifelong commitment."  

 

Logan’s eyes almost bugged out of his head, a look of horrified disgust screwing up his face as he took in the primitive impression of teeth marring the delicate line of her neck.

 

Incensed at the look, but glad too that he might finally _actually_ be getting it, she emphasized with a glare, "I will _NEVER EVER_ be with you Logan, so go away and leave me alone.  This is your last warning.  You come near me again and you’re gonna wind up seriously hurt or dead, ‘cause I’ve had enough.  We all have."

 

Arching a brow at him, she demanded, “So tell me that you understand now Logan.  I wanna hear you say it.  Like you mean it.”

 

Scowling, his furious eyes darted over to Alec’s, and then he paled as he saw the icily menacing stare he was being subjected to; some deeply buried instinct inside him recognizing that the cold-blooded animal behind it wouldn’t hesitate to end him if he dared interfere with his mate any further.  Bowing his head in acquiescence, he muttered darkly, “Yeah, I got it.”

 

“What’s that?  I don’t think everybody heard you.”  Twisting the knife in a bit further out of necessity, her voice ringing out boldly, Max refused to let up, needing his complete capitulation.  “Who do I belong with Logan?  Who do I love?  And who have I chosen to spend the rest of my life with?”

 

Looking back up at her, he grimaced and spat out resentfully.  “Alec.”

 

"That’s right.  And that is _never_ going to change.  Not in a million years.”  She released his shirt and shoved him back down to the floor; taking Alec’s waiting hand and rising up gracefully to step into his arms.  “So I suggest you get the hell out of here and leave me and my friends alone, before I change my mind and let my mate kick your sorry ass into next week like you deserve!"

 

Cheers erupted from the transgenics around them as Logan got back up to his feet and scurried toward the entrance, not looking behind him once; the utter humiliation too much to bear.  Max’s esteem rising immeasurably among several of the spectators at her wholesale and unequivocal support of her mate.

 

Pulling her even closer, Alec leaned down to whisper in her ear, “So, is it wrong that I'm extremely turned on right now?  All I wanna do is find some dark corner somewhere and bury myself deep inside you.  Cause you are seriously hot when you get mad like that sweetheart.  And hearing you announce so definitively to everyone that you’re mine?  Certainly didn’t hurt either.”  He grinned wickedly, the hot telltale gleam in his eyes only emphasizing his desire for her.

 

She snorted, amused and aroused too as she felt how hard he was against her hip.  Glancing at the preoccupied crowd around them, she started casually drifting away, tugging him along with her.  “Hmmm.  You know, they might not even miss us if we’re quick about it.”  Not batting an eyelash, she asked coyly, “Doesn’t the owner have a quiet little office back behind the washrooms?”

 

Eyes twinkling, he nodded with a smirk, “Yeah.  I do believe you’re right.  It’s probably empty right about now too ‘cause she only comes in during the day to do the books.”  Both of them in sync now, they blended into the crowd and snuck off down the hall, Max keeping a lookout while Alec swiftly picked the lock and let them in.

 

Pressing her up against the back of the door, Alec took her mouth hungrily, groaning into her when she eagerly returned his kiss and grabbed one of his hands, shamelessly pushing it up beneath her skirt and guiding his fingers to the moist heat between her thighs.

 

“Fuck you’re wet.”  He muttered against her lips, his hand slipping under her lacy thong and caressing her, slipping through her heat and stroking her lovingly.

 

“Hey,” she moaned out between kisses, her hands sliding up under his t-shirt and wandering possessively over his chest and back, “not the only… one that… gets turned on… when I get pissed, you know…  Ever since… pointed out… what it does to you… never fails…to get me hot.”

 

“Good to know,” he mumbled, the scent of her higher pregnancy fuelled hormones inflaming him and increasing his sense of urgency.  Tugging her low-cut sweater down with his free hand, he captured one of her sensitive breasts in his palm and squeezed it gently, sliding the lace down and rubbing his thumb over her nipple, drawing a shiver from her as she dropped her head back against the door, panting slightly, her eyes heated as they met his gaze.  Neither of them needing any additional light to see in the softly moonlit room.

 

Her fingers trembled as they slid down his abs and began working at the fastening of his jeans, sliding the zipper down swiftly and shoving the material down over his hips.  Not even pausing, she took him brazenly in her hand and pumped him several times, drawing a thick growl from his throat as he shoved her hand aside and lifted her up by her ass.  Pulling her skirt up out of their way and locking her legs around his waist, Max moaned again as he easily slipped past the narrow lacy barrier covering her mound and entered her.  

 

His erection gliding smoothly inside and taking up a swift but satisfying rhythm as he bent to capture her exposed nipple between his lips.  His tongue flicking and licking at her soft skin as he sucked her in.  His hips pressing demandingly into hers, pulling an increasing litany of softly uttered gasps and hot little cries from her lips as she held him tight and bit her lips to try and muffle them, until the need got too great to bear.  

 

Pulling his head up to hers, she caught his eyes, her own just as dark and hungry and intense.  “God help me Alec.  More.  I need you.  Right now,” she breathed out desperately and captured his lips with hers, moulding her body against his.

 

Picking up his pace as he returned her kiss, Alec slid his arms under her legs and hitched them up higher, thrusting deeper and deeper and slamming inside her until he felt her shudder and clench around him, her head falling back against the door with a thud as her eyes rolled up in her head and she panted wildly.  Her hot silken sheath caressing every inch of him and tightening like a vice, dragging him along with her.  His head dropping down into her shoulder, his mouth sucking hotly and possessively at his mark, pulling a shocked gasp and convulsion from his mate, and making him grin like an idiot as he felt the renewed tremors of an intense aftershock ripple through her.

 

When the rush settled enough that he could actually think and breathe again, Alec carefully slid out of her with a shudder and set her legs down gently, holding her up until he was sure she’d found her balance.  Looking around and spotting a box of Kleenex on the desk, he walked over and snagged a few, cleaning himself up quickly and making himself presentable.  Grabbing another handful he strode back over to Max and knelt down in front of her, his fingers light and soothing on her tender flesh as he wiped up their mess and helped her rearrange her skirt and sweater.

 

Standing back up again and leaning in for another kiss, he took her lips tenderly this time, resting his forehead against hers for a moment and just breathing her in.

 

“Damn that was good,” she finally giggled, trailing her fingers lightly over his shoulders and down his arms. 

 

He nodded with a grin and pulled back slightly, “We should probably head back out there soon though, if you don’t want everyone to know what we were just doing.”

 

Raising an eyebrow at him in askance, she murmured drily, “Like our motley crew won’t smell it on us immediately anyway.”

 

He shrugged.  “Well, yeah.  Sure they will, but I was more talking about Cindy and the others.”

 

“Whatever.”  When his eyes almost bugged out at her nonchalant response, she laughed, “Okay, sure, I admit that would’ve freaked me out a few months ago, but now?”  She smiled and stretched up to kiss him briefly, then said, “I love you Alec, and it really doesn’t bother me all that much if everyone else around us knows exactly how much.  It’s all good.  And it’s not like any of our friends will particularly mind either.”  

 

Grinning as he thought about it, he took her hand and grabbed the door handle with a slight nod.  “Good enough for me.  Shall we?”

 

Leisurely making their way back out to their table, they were greeted with amused smirks from Jamie and OC, but neither commented outwardly on their slightly flushed appearances.  OC simply saying, “Hey Boo.  So are we 'bout ready to celebrate now or what?”

 

“Yeah.”  With a little sidelong glance at her mate, Max smiled, “I think we are.”  


End file.
